Confession

[pdudgeon]

Well first off, we have stopped. I have every intention of not doing that again until we are married, though I admit it is hard. Its almost to the point were I'm not gonna agree to see her unless we're in public. The two of us being alone together at my place, doesn't usually end well, regardless of how pure our intentions may be. So yeah pray for me, I'm trying really hard here.

Marriage is the plan, but as you know its not always that easy. Her parents are somewhat hostile to the notion, for whatever reason, and we'd still have to wait the mandatory six months that the Catholic Church requires. That seems like forever, and its gonna take a LOT of grace to not fall during that time. Then there are the financial issues. It boggles my mind how the Church requires us to marry in the Church, but then turns around and charges us for it. You'd think a required sacrament would be free of charge right? So we'd have to skip on all the frills, skip the entire reception, everything, and even then it'd still be a little difficult financially. I'm pretty sure were gonna take that route, but its not as easy as the two of us just getting married tomorrow.

I used that sin as an example, but we've not fallen into that for a couple weeks now. The only 'grave' sins I've fallen into since then are the other ones I've mentioned. I need to find a parish with anonymous confessions, because as much as I do love and respect the priests of the parish I go to, I'm not excited about confessing the same sins over and over again, face to face, every single week, just so I can receive communion.

good for both of you for trying!
i know it's hard, but it will be worth it down the road.

also you're building a future testimony for your children,
when they will run into this same problem down the road.
what you discover in this next 6 months you'll
be able to pass on to them, along with your own unique testimony.
That will be the pay-off for waiting.

For your children, no other testimony will be as meaningful as yours.

as for the wedding, it's the bride's parents who foot the bill for the announcements, a wedding planner if one is used,
the organist, flowers at the church, church rental and clean-up, the reception fee and food and drink for same,
transportation to and from the church, and the wedding, gown, etc.

the groom's parents foot the bill for the rehersal dinner, and the wedding cake.
the attendants pay for their own gowns/tuxes.

the groom pays for the bride's rings, the bride's flowers, his tux rental,
boutineres/gloves/sash/hats for the groomsmen,
the certificate of marriage, any medical tests required, and the Father's fee.

the bride pays for gifts for her attendants, (jewelry or veils if worn) and their flowers,
and for the groom's ring (if a double ring ceremony).
if there are any out-of-town bridal attendants, she also pays for their lodging.

 

[mark46]

WIt boggles my mind how the Church requires us to marry in the Church, but then turns around and charges us for it. You'd think a required sacrament would be free of charge right? So we'd have to skip on all the frills, skip the entire reception, everything, and even then it'd still be a little difficult financially. I'm pretty sure were gonna take that route, but its not as easy as the two of us just getting married tomorrow.

Give Pope Francis some time! Annulments will now be free. I'm sure that he'll eventually work on the costs of weddings. Charging for sacraments has been an issue in the Catholic Church for at least 500 years.

 

[Meowzltov]

Its almost to the point were I'm not gonna agree to see her unless we're in public.

Don't be embarassed if that's what you choose. It's called avoiding the near occasion of sin, and it's SMART. I have a "threshold" rule where I simply don't cross the doorway into a man's home, or allow a man to cross the doorway into mine.

That seems like forever, and its gonna take a LOT of grace to not fall during that time. Then there are the financial issues. It boggles my mind how the Church requires us to marry in the Church, but then turns around and charges us for it.

If you are active members of the parish, it's possible that if your talk to your priest he may help you out with this.

I need to find a parish with anonymous confessions, because as much as I do love and respect the priests of the parish I go to, I'm not excited about confessing the same sins over and over again, face to face, every single week, just so I can receive communion.

This I completely understand. I hate confessing the same sin over and over, so I confess anonymously or go to a different parish.

Is this a confirmed engagement?

 

[Rhamiel]

God bless you and your girlfriend

back to the topic of confession
trust in God
it is by His grace that you are saved, not by your own works
so when you sin, go to confession
let His grace work in you
even if you do not "feel" it working, trust in Him
I bet people who go to Chemo therapy for cancer do not "feel" better, and it is hard, and it takes a long time
our spiritual journey can be the same way
everyone wants a BOOM moment, just a flash and everything is better
sometimes that happens
but for most people, their spiritual journey is long and winding road
two steps forward one step back
just keep with it and trust in God
He will get you where you need to be

 

[RileyG]

You don't necessarily have to go to confession for that.



Yeah... I'd avoid that except on rare circumstances because you can end up putting yourself into a situation that could get bad.

[qupte]or hitting a joint with my coworkers after my shift,

That's not a sin.



You should talk to your priest about it, Confession was originally intended to be EXTREMELY rare.
Monks made a "habit" (hahahaha) out of it and frequent confession has become the norm.[/QUOTE]
What you are doing is against forum rules.

You are not a Catholic (I assume) and you cannot tell a Catholic asking for advice to not follow Church teaching.

God Bless

 

[RileyG]

I struggle with the same thing, OP. I suggest that you talk with your confessor about this. God Bless you.

 

[ALoveDivine]

as for the wedding, it's the bride's parents who foot the bill for the announcements, a wedding planner if one is used,
the organist, flowers at the church, church rental and clean-up, the reception fee and food and drink for same,
transportation to and from the church, and the wedding, gown, etc.

the groom's parents foot the bill for the rehersal dinner, and the wedding cake.
the attendants pay for their own gowns/tuxes.

the groom pays for the bride's rings, the bride's flowers, his tux rental,
boutineres/gloves/sash/hats for the groomsmen,
the certificate of marriage, any medical tests required, and the Father's fee.

the bride pays for gifts for her attendants, (jewelry or veils if worn) and their flowers,
and for the groom's ring (if a double ring ceremony).
if there are any out-of-town bridal attendants, she also pays for their lodging.

Yeah....we've already agreed that, assuming it happens, we're gonna skip all of that. Everything of course that isn't actually a bonafide requirement. I'm not one for frills and long drawn-out ceremonies and neither is she. No reception or cake either. Maybe we'll go out to eat afterword but that's as far as its gonna go. I want to keep all the costs at less than $1,000.

I'm sure that he'll eventually work on the costs of weddings. Charging for sacraments has been an issue in the Catholic Church for at least 500 years.

Yeah I hope some changes are made. I still can't believe a sacrament is charged for, that just seems unethical, especially when the Church claims to care so much about the poor. They need to either make weddings free of change or bless court-house weddings, with a priest present, as an acceptable alternative.

Is this a confirmed engagement?

Not yet. As much I want to be married already, and wish I was like yesterday, I'm not about to jump into it haphazardly. We've only been dating a few months. Its something we still need a little bit of time to think about I guess. I just hate having this long engagement period as a requirement. I'm the type that would rather spend that equivalent time considering it, and then when I have decided I'd want it to happen immediately.

 

[stray bullet]

What you are doing is against forum rules.

You are not a Catholic (I assume) and you cannot tell a Catholic asking for advice to not follow Church teaching.

God Bless

Oh, sorry, I was just repeating what I learned in my class on CATHOLIC CONFESSION from a CATHOLIC PRIEST at a CATHOLIC SEMINARY when I was a CATHOLIC SEMINARIAN.

 

[Anhelyna]

Oh, sorry, I was just repeating what I learned in my class on CATHOLIC CONFESSION from a CATHOLIC PRIEST at a CATHOLIC SEMINARY when I was a CATHOLIC SEMINARIAN and left just prior to ordination.

stray bullet - we can hear you - even me and I'm deaf.

Please don't shout

 

[stray bullet]

IT'S NOT LIKE I TYPED IN ALL CAPS

 

[Anhelyna]

Naturally you didn't - it's just a figment of my overactive imagination

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

That's not a sin.



You should talk to your priest about it, Confession was originally intended to be EXTREMELY rare.
Monks made a "habit" (hahahaha) out of it and frequent confession has become the norm.

What you are doing is against forum rules.

You are not a Catholic (I assume) and you cannot tell a Catholic asking for advice to not follow Church teaching.

God Bless[/QUOTE]


Oh how we stray from the path of charity with these safe havens rules of CF, Ive been guilty of crossing the lines in a numerous of other sub-forums myself in both recent time as well as in the past...

May we turn our cheek to one another when correcting these uncharitable acts commited by others and remember our own trespasses.