concern

[cardinals7694]

Hello I was teaching Sunday school a few Sundays ago on strongholds. Well I have a major stronghold with rejection. And during the lesson I made it known that I thought our pastor didn't like me. Well I hadn't thought much on it until last night and the thought came to my mind that our pastor never did say that they liked me or not. Trying to give this to God but is weighing heavy on my mind. And suggestions?

 

[tturt]

Sorry that you're going through this. I don't have but a couple of minutes. To be honest, we're not crazy about everyone and we can't really expect everyone to like us either. But I know according to The Word we're to love everyone. So it keeps us asking our Heavenly Father to take our cares and helping us to love because we can only do this with His help.

 

[BFine]

Have you spoken with your pastor about what you mentioned in your
Sunday school class?

I would suggest doing that ASAP.
Your personal issue(s) with the minister shouldn't of been put out there like that.
It can be a destructive thing--do some damage control if possible...
sowing seeds of discord isn't a good thing.

Pray and seek a private meeting with the minister about what's happened
and try to resolve the personal issue that you believe exists between you
and the minister.

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

So... why did you randomly tell an impressionable group of Sunday School students that you thought the pastor disliked you? You say you have a "stronghold" of rejection. Are you saying that you were convinced the pastor disliked you because you fear rejection, and you were just throwing a careless statement out there without any basis? Sorry, but I'm confused on WHY you did this.

 

[cardinals7694]

So... why did you randomly tell an impressionable group of Sunday School students that you thought the pastor disliked you? You say you have a "stronghold" of rejection. Are you saying that you were convinced the pastor disliked you because you fear rejection, and you were just throwing a careless statement out there without any basis? Sorry, but I'm confused on WHY you did this.

Why did I do this. Well God woke me up that morning and changed my Sunday school lesson to strongholds. Then I felt in my heart I had to share about my rejection stronghold and I felt God wanted me to make it known my fear of the pastor not liking me. Now I know that its just a scheme of the devil because everyone else told me that the pastor cared for me. Even my wife. I have been hurt bad by pastors in the past. Its hard for me to go and even talk to a pastor in confidence because of how a couple of former pastors did me. I was taught young if I needed to talk to someone I could always go to my pastor. And they wouldn't judge me. I found out very different in my twenties.

 

[joey_downunder]

Why did I do this. Well God woke me up that morning and changed my Sunday school lesson to strongholds. Then I felt in my heart I had to share about my rejection stronghold and I felt God wanted me to make it known my fear of the pastor not liking me. Now I know that its just a scheme of the devil because everyone else told me that the pastor cared for me. Even my wife. I have been hurt bad by pastors in the past. Its hard for me to go and even talk to a pastor in confidence because of how a couple of former pastors did me. I was taught young if I needed to talk to someone I could always go to my pastor. And they wouldn't judge me. I found out very different in my twenties.

Notice what was emphasised. You went on your *own personal feelings* which is very unwise.
1. How did you decide it was God talking to you, not your own very insecure self?
2. Did you consider what God says in the bible about how we are to speak and when to speak?
e.g. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life;
he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,
and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. (Proverbs 17:27-28)

A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Proverbs 29:11)

[Jesus said] “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother....."(Matthew 18:15) Full passage: Matthew 18:15-20

Honestly, if I was your pastor and heard of what you did I would consider making sure you didn't take any further Sunday school services. It was very inappropriate and unhelpful to unload your personal insecurities in a public setting. You need to develop a lot more self-control.

 

[Pal Handy]

Hello I was teaching Sunday school a few Sundays ago on strongholds. Well I have a major stronghold with rejection. And during the lesson I made it known that I thought our pastor didn't like me. Well I hadn't thought much on it until last night and the thought came to my mind that our pastor never did say that they liked me or not. Trying to give this to God but is weighing heavy on my mind. And suggestions?

If you will find your worth in God, every other relationship will find its proper place.

If you know who you are in Christ and what God commits Himself
to do for you because you are His son in Jesus Christ, then you will not
be so concerned with what others offer to you in the way of encouragement and endorsements.

If you will ask God to reveal who you are in Christ and run to Him
with your deepest, worries, fears, doubts and insecurities, God
will build you up from the inside out.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

In Christ we can find ourselves as beloved sons of God who can
go to our heavenly Father and find strength, power and His Holy
Spirit that will impart to us God's view of possibilities in Him instead
of our limits and unworthiness that we impose on ourselves.

We can by our faithless thoughts and emotions stunt our growth
in Christ by invoking our own false humility as we make God's very words
of no effect in our lives.

All the disciples were fearful and cringing after their master was taken from them
until they received the Holy Spirit of promise that transformed
these timid and fearful men into powerhouses of confidence and action
in God's strength, power and love.

Pray and ask God to take away your poor self image and to Give you
His indentity in Christ.

Pray and ask God to give you the Holy Spirit as He did all those throughout history
who dared to take God at His word.

Luke 11:13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

 

[cardinals7694]

Honestly, if I was your pastor and heard of what you did I would consider making sure you didn't take any further Sunday school services. It was very inappropriate and unhelpful to unload your personal insecurities in a public setting. You need to develop a lot more self-control.

Honestly this quote right here was why I left church in my twenties. I grew up in church. Yes I made mistakes and the pastor I had growing up was great but when he retired the pastor following him if a mistake was made he wanted you out of position then if he could push you out of church. I was taught a pastor is suppose to love and guide their sheep not remove them for a mistake made. Yes I may have been wrong. But the pastor was in the Sunday school class when I said it. And the associate asked had I been hurt by pastors in the past. I said yes. They said that God had me open up so they could pray for my weak point and the pastor agreed.

Why is it this day its so easy to judge someone and remove them for a mistake. Instead of forgive them and help them. Didn't Peter make a mistake yet Jesus forgave him and helped him Peter wasn't removed from being a disciple because of his mistake.

You see I'm not stupid I have taken Bible college courses. I know what they teach a pastor is suppose to do. No I'm not saying pastors are perfect but they are God's messenger.

 

[BFine]

"But the pastor was in the Sunday school class when I said it. And the associate asked had I been hurt by pastors in the past. I said yes. They said that God had me open up so they could pray for my weak point and the pastor agreed."


*Your original post:

"Hello I was teaching Sunday school a few Sundays ago on strongholds. Well I have a major stronghold with rejection. And during the lesson I made it known that I thought our pastor didn't like me. Well I hadn't thought much on it until last night and the thought came to my mind that our pastor never did say that they liked me or not. Trying to give this to God but is weighing heavy on my mind. And suggestions?"



*I'm not understanding what you are seeking since
this matter is being prayed over by the associate pastor and the pastor?
Cardinals could you share a bit more on this subject please?

 

[joey_downunder]

I was taught a pastor is suppose to love and guide their sheep not remove them for a mistake made. Yes I may have been wrong. But the pastor was in the Sunday school class when I said it. And the associate asked had I been hurt by pastors in the past. I said yes. They said that God had me open up so they could pray for my weak point and the pastor agreed.

I was saying is that I would understand *if* your pastor made that decision not that he *should*. You are fortunate that he is so understanding and forgiving.

Why is it this day its so easy to judge someone and remove them for a mistake. Instead of forgive them and help them. Didn't Peter make a mistake yet Jesus forgave him and helped him Peter wasn't removed from being a disciple because of his mistake.

I was not saying that you should be booted out of the church/removed from ministry permanently either. You need to develop self-control over your emotions for your own good as well as others; that will come from growing in spiritual maturity.

You see I'm not stupid I have taken Bible college courses. I know what they teach a pastor is suppose to do. No I'm not saying pastors are perfect but they are God's messenger.

Then you should be familiar with this passage that Paul gave to (pastor) Timothy.

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.
(2 Timothy 4:1-4)
Therefore your pastor should be giving *both* encouragement and correction.

A modern usually secular myth is that emotions should always be publicised and feelings outrank (the sometimes disagreeable) truth. You sound like a very nice person who has let their emotions control them for way too long. Don't worry I did exactly the same; I am not judging you for that.

I am being frank though. I don't want you to continue along the already too familiar self-pity path. The journey gets harder and harder the further you go. Please turn around via careful study of God's word/listening good biblical sermons and if necessary getting good balanced Christian counselling (that will cause genuine long-term change not emotional bandaids).

Here a few encouraging books for you. http://www.christinyou.net/pages/ebooks.html

 

[cardinals7694]

"But the pastor was in the Sunday school class when I said it. And the associate asked had I been hurt by pastors in the past. I said yes. They said that God had me open up so they could pray for my weak point and the pastor agreed."

*Your original post:

"Hello I was teaching Sunday school a few Sundays ago on strongholds. Well I have a major stronghold with rejection. And during the lesson I made it known that I thought our pastor didn't like me. Well I hadn't thought much on it until last night and the thought came to my mind that our pastor never did say that they liked me or not. Trying to give this to God but is weighing heavy on my mind. And suggestions?"


*I'm not understanding what you are seeking since
this matter is being prayed over by the associate pastor and the pastor?
Cardinals could you share a bit more on this subject please?

Just having a rough time. Since the Sunday school lesson. Things seem to be getting harder and more rejecting thoughts are coming to mind. Needed to talk to someone and don't feel comfortable talking with friends and family. So I came here. Maybe I did wrong coming here.

 

[Ark100]

You didn't do wrong coming on here, and this is a Christian forum. You will always get different advice. Those that do nothing to help you or lift you up, you can always discard them.
People will always have their opinion whether right or wrong, you just have to make up your mind how YOU react to these opinions and advice.
What people say do not define who you are and how they act does not determine how God sees you.

I think you have issues from the past which still affect you very much that it makes you mess up things a little in a way in your current life.
I think you need to give everything to the Lord to help you deal with the past issues. The Lord heals and sets people free.

Regardless of what strong hold has been holding you down, God can help you with it.
I would not advice you to stop doing what you are doing in the house of God because of what some people say or think.
Its very dangerous as well to think and feel someone is doing this or that or does not like you just because you think they don't. It all stems from fear and insecurity and you should pray that the Lord will help you deal with that.
I think you should not have told those at sunday school what you were feeling about the pastor. For one, one of them may tell the pastor and that may not look good at all. Not everything is to be said.

This applies to everyday living. There are some things best kept inside your heart and praying to God about to help you deal with.
I also feel you need to pray for wisdom to help you deal with everyday issues and people around you.

I just believe if you go to God with sincerity of heart and trust in Him, and you pour out your heart to Him, He will help you deal with all these issues.
Please learn some lessons from this as well and know that there is time for everything.

 

[Angelfrog]

At the risk of sounding unkind, if we share with others an account of something that they did, we have to accept the fact that they may comment on whether that action was a correct/ wise one or not.

If we're only looking for someone to pat us on the arm and tell us that what we did or said was ok, then we're never going to grow much as Christians.

I'm not saying that's what you're doing- but you seem to be taking the questioning and comments about what you said as people being judgmental. If our brothers and sisters don't pick us up on our actions- we'll never grow beyond wanting to be babied- and they would be failing us. True, there is a way or doing these things rude or 'you're an idiot' attitudes are the wrong approach- although I haven't seen anyone say anything unkind, rude or judgemental so far.

I'm sure you've realised that you were in the wrong for saying what you did in that setting. No amount of sympathising will ever change that. BUT you've learnt through it, I'm sure. You've had a valuable lesson on being professional, on learning to discern what really is God and what's your own emotion/ wishes/ insecurities etc. You've learnt that the more you immerse yourself in God's word and in Him, the more easily you can spot the source of these 'convictions'. For example- you'd ask yourself 'ok, would God really be asking me to say something like that about our pastor, publically, without proof that he doesn't like me and possibly colouring the student's opinion of him- maybe turning them a little against him and worrying them that he may be like that to others, too?'
Clearly- the answer would be 'no- of course that's not what God would tell me to do'

Maybe having it pointed out by others here has been a needed, if uncomfortable, lesson in testing what our feelings are saying.

And we've all done it- believe me. No one is speaking from a self made pulpit- but from a place of experience. We pass on what we've learned to help others grow and see where the problem sprang from.

As someone else said, you're lucky that you DO have a forgiving and understanding pastor. Have you talked to him about your worries and rejection issues? It's horrible coming from a place like that- and I think you'd find an awful lot of people here can relate. I've had similar issues in the past- being convinced that people didn't like me, that new acquaintances wouldn't want to get to know me- that a certain look or quiet comment to someone else was them showing their dislike or talking about me (unfavourably, of course!!!!).

It hurts- even when that hurt comes from our own insecurity rather than any real rejection.

I think that you need to talk with your pastor- or another male in your church whom you trust- to be able to share and get some prayer. It seems you need someone who will help you discover your real worth - as God sees you -and to be able to live in that security. There may be past issues that need dealing with, and certainly some good, in depth study of passages in the Bible that you can really take in and start to live in the truth of.

I'm sure your pastor would be more than willing to help- or help you find a guy, or a couple of guys, who would be happy and able to stand by you on this.

Don't beat yourself up over what's happened. The important thing is to learn from it- hear what God wants to teach you through it and act on that.

And never, never forget that He is your Father who will never reject you, ever leave you, never forsake you and considered you as precious enough to die for.

 

[nylah201]

i am a sunday school teacher, also. i teach the ladies at my church. sometimes, i have felt as you did......that someone didn't like me. it hurt, and i nursed that hurt until it nearly overtook me. the sad part is, the lady i was sure hated me turned out to be a good friend. so, what i do now when i think someone is mad at me, not liking me, or whatever, i approach them, ask them to join me in fellowship.......maybe a cup of coffee, maybe lunch at my place. what i'm trying to say is you can't let those feelings keep you down. they aren't from God. they are from the devil who wants to steal your joy.....don't let him!! i guess my first move in this situation would be to apologize to the pastor and the sunday school and ask their forgiveness for being out of line. you may be very pleasantly surprised at their reactions.

 

[poolsocks]

hi cardinal the same happened to me and i walked away from church. twenty years later i have just picked my bible back up and joined a new one, dont be like me you need to be spiritually fed. i cant talk i am trying to trust my new minister but who said that life is easy. hope this helps.