Concern for having shared my beliefs incorrectly

[JW876]

Hi everyone. I am a deputy manager in retail and had a really lovely conversation with one of our volunteers today. Within it however they opened up to me about their grief after having lost both their parents towards the end of last year and their sadness that they will ‘never see them again’. I cannot remember exactly what I said but I believe I responded saying ‘I don’t believe that’ and then when they asked something around what I meant, essentially clarifying that I did not believe they will not see them again one day. They responded saying that their mum was a strong believer that there is something after death, that they believe this too and then something around how none of us can know for sure however.


The conversation went on and I wanted it to touch on faith again, so I would be able to say something to explain my beliefs further and in someway correct what I had said, but I was too weak to know how to or what to say. Believing that a belief in Jesus is the only way to enter heaven, I feel awful that I implied that everyone can, regardless of whether they have believed in him or not and so feel very shameful and worried around what to do.


I understandably want them to know the truth, so feel I should bring it up with them in some way again, through messaging or a conversation. I am quite new to being in a managerial position and despite finding it, I admit, daunting communicating the Gospel with non Christians in general, feel even more concerned to do so being at this level – more so than if I was a fellow volunteer. I am still in my probation period and really loving the job, so have been trying to be very cautious not to act in any way which could raise concerns. I am praying for the volunteers salvation and for wisdom as to what to do but thought I would also seek advice, as I feel if I am going to bring it up with them, I will need to quite soon before too much time passes and it seems odd referring back to the conversation days/weeks later.


Before possible reaching out to them again if I did, I thought perhaps it may be sensible to raise with my Manager first their views on being open about my faith with volunteers, not to enforce my beliefs but just to share them at times it may come up in conversation. I am sure this would be fine however but would, shamefully, find it very uncomfortable to ask, for worry for what they may think, especially as I feel I may have raised concerns that I do not always prioritise well. I can see them feeling this is not something someone in a managerial position should be dwelling on. Although on the whole I feel we get on well, they have communicated to me on a couple of occasions I have annoyed them by things I have done. They also go on leave for a week after tomorrow so tomorrow will be my only opportunity till over a weeks time.


Even so however, what I would say to the volunteer I do not know as communicating to them that I had not been clear in what I had said at the time and that actually they will only see their parents again if they all believe in Jesus, is obviously a very strong thing to say. Even if I aimed to put it in a sensitive way, as it would involve myself directly bringing up my faith rather than it just falling into a conversation, I do feel concerned this could seem unprofessional and forceful. Another idea I had was leaving say John 3:16 somewhere where I hope they would spot it.


I know as Christians we should be willing to face persecution for our faith however and all this is clearly myself just being worried for consequences. I know that I should be willing to do anything to share the Gospel out of love for God and others.

 

[Albion]

By and large, the situation you found yourself in is not one that lends itself to evangelizing.

Generally speaking, a few words of sympathy, perhaps including a comment like the one saying she will see her parents again is all that is needed.

It might be best, therefore, not to address this particular issue with your volunteer any further. Perhaps a "How are you doing today?" kind of comment would be all right, but nothing that's more involved. And if you worry that she could have misinterpreted your meaning with the "see them again" statement, just let it go. Revisiting it risks making things worse.

Instead, wait for a different opportunity at some later time.

 

[Jake Arsenal]

I trust that the Holy Spirit helped you to say what needed to be said. Don't feel that you need to force it. Just don't Resist the moving of the Spirit or deny Christ.

 

[JW876]

I trust that the Holy Spirit helped you to say what needed to be said. Don't feel that you need to force it. Just don't Resist the moving of the Spirit or deny Christ.

Thank you so much, I hope so. Okay. I suppose I feel conscious that it may be the Holy Spirit encouraging me to bring it up with her again, so feel guilty for resisting if it is!

 

[JW876]

By and large, the situation you found yourself in is not one that lends itself to evangelizing.

Generally speaking, a few words of sympathy, perhaps including a comment like the one saying she will see her parents again is all that is needed.

It might be best, therefore, not to address this particular issue with your volunteer any further. Perhaps a "How are you doing today?" kind of comment would be all right, but nothing that's more involved. And if you worry that she could have misinterpreted your meaning with the "see them again" statement, just let it go. Revisiting it risks making things worse.

Instead, wait for a different opportunity at some later time.

Hi, thank you so much for your kind advice. I like idea of waiting for an opportunity at a later time. Although I suppose I feel that although revisiting risks making things worse, it would be worse for them not to come to know about Jesus in their life and to gain eternal life, than any harm which could be caused for either of us from the conversation (or message, as I was considering messaging them). I just feel very uncomfortable to do so though and feel perhaps it does not demonstrate much trust in God in myself if I let my fears overpower my sense that I should do something more. I should trust that he will protect us from any negative consequences... I also feel that out of respect for him, I owe it to him, to try to correct my mistake, especially as I essentially lied. I will continue praying for guidance. It is very tricky.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Hi, thank you so much for your kind advice. I like idea of waiting for an opportunity at a later time. Although I suppose I feel that although revisiting risks making things worse, it would be worse for them not to come to know about Jesus in their life and to gain eternal life, than any harm which could be caused for either of us from the conversation (or message, as I was considering messaging them). I just feel very uncomfortable to do so though and feel perhaps it does not demonstrate much trust in God in myself if I let my fears overpower my sense that I should do something more. I should trust that he will protect us from any negative consequences... I also feel that out of respect for him, I owe it to him, to try to correct my mistake, especially as I essentially lied. I will continue praying for guidance. It is very tricky.

It's understandable you may feel uncomfortable tabling Christian views and beliefs that may be regarded as upsetting or even strongly imposing.

A somewhat safer approach may be to share something what you belief in regards to yourself, or something comforting Jesus and God said in general towards the world and sinners in general. E.g. you can share why and how you are comforted in times or trouble and fear, and what God and Jesus have to offer to the world (e.g. love, restoration, peace, sense of purpose).

With all of that you need to patiently and prayerfully wait for an opportunity to share that kind of stuff, and be sensitive to what you can say. Just 'throwing it out' because you have to as a Christian is not always by definition the best approach IMHO.

 

[JW876]

It's understandable you may feel uncomfortable tabling Christian views and beliefs that may be regarded as upsetting or even strongly imposing.

A somewhat safer approach may be to share something what you belief in regards to yourself, or something comforting Jesus and God said in general towards the world and sinners in general. E.g. you can share why and how you are comforted in times or trouble and fear, and what God and Jesus have to offer to the world (e.g. love, restoration, peace, sense of purpose).

With all of that you need to patiently and prayerfully wait for an opportunity to share that kind of stuff, and be sensitive to what you can say. Just 'throwing it out' because you have to as a Christian is not always by definition the best approach IMHO.

Hi,

Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement. That's a really good idea yes. Although now I have said what I said, I feel I owe it to her, and God, in a way, to correct what I said and be honest with her, since I essentially lied in my beliefs and understandably want her to know entering Heaven is not possible without belief in Jesus. But yes I like the idea of patiently and prayerfully waiting for an opportunity for sharing aspects of my faith more sensitively, rather than feeling I need to jump in soon to expand expand on what I said to her, especially considering I think it would be difficult to word sensitively.

Although I listened to a devotional today which encouraged us to step out in faith rather than shying away from opportunities we feel daunted, through drawing upon Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 2, to those he was preaching to: 'I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling.' So it made me wonder again whether my feelings that I should possibly bring what I said to the volunteer up with her again, are perhaps God's will and I should trust in him that it will be ok, even if I feel nervous.

I also has the idea of possibly giving a certain manager at another fairly local one of our stores a call, as she has been very lovely the times I have met her and I understand is a Christian. So I thought she may be a good person to gain her thoughts on the matter (whether to say anything more or not to the volunteer), as she understands the culture of our stores and may be able to advise possibly based on her experience of being a Christian in the shop environment. I also believe the area manager is a Christian. I do feel apprehensive for the idea of talking to either of them about it, particularly with them being internal to the organisation but I imagine, particularly the local manager, would likely be understanding. If you have any thoughts on this though then please let me know! Thanks so much again.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

...
Although I listened to a devotional today which encouraged us to step out in faith rather than shying away from opportunities we feel daunted, through drawing upon Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 2, to those he was preaching to: 'I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling.' So it made me wonder again whether my feelings that I should possibly bring what I said to the volunteer up with her again, are perhaps God's will and I should trust in him that it will be ok, even if I feel nervous.

That's a great way of looking at it; after a while if you meet that person again you might just 'on-the-side' ask discretely: 'have you been able to think about what I shared' or 'did what I shared recently make sense to you?'. In all circumstances you can wait for opportunities where you think your Christian viewpoint may bring something positive and hopeful to the person or situation.

... I also has the idea of possibly giving a certain manager at another fairly local one of our stores a call, as she has been very lovely the times I have met her and I understand is a Christian. So I thought she may be a good person to gain her thoughts on the matter (whether to say anything more or not to the volunteer), as she understands the culture of our stores and may be able to advise possibly based on her experience of being a Christian in the shop environment. I also believe the area manager is a Christian. I do feel apprehensive for the idea of talking to either of them about it, particularly with them being internal to the organisation but I imagine, particularly the local manager, would likely be understanding. If you have any thoughts on this though then please let me know! Thanks so much again.

This may work, but in their official capacity as managers of that Company they also may show hesitancy of 'working together internally' to share the Good News; as when their non-Christian superiors find out; they may be fired. So informally checking/asking may work best. It's good when your colleagues (both believers/non-believers) know your agenda and you can't be accused or brainwashing others secretly

Be blessed !