Hello All,
I am a newcomer to the teachings of the Bible, but over the past few months have felt compelled to begin a journey. I have begun to attend a Baptist church 3 out of 4 weeks with my family. Prior to this I felt a calling and started to watch online videos with a spiritual positive message, like Joel Osteen weekly.
I have been in a marriage for 13 years with a woman I can not even begin to describe how much joy she brings into my life. I feel the luckiest man for having her in my life, in all honesty I feel I don't deserve her. I also have an 8 year old daughter who is incredible.
My problem is that I have caused great pain in my marriage over the past 8 years. I have lied to my spouse about really small things, i.e. a new dress shirt or tie I may have purchased all the way up to more major issues where I know I have screwed up and am hoping to just make it blow over.
A couple of years after we were married, I felt alone and bored. I joined a free online dating site, and chatted with a couple of people. No plans were ever made to meet, nor did I ever meet anyone. Looking back I feel I was looking for the "thrill" of someone being interested in me, and that was the majority of the feeling/rush. It wasn't anything more then that. My wife found out and we were able to patch it over.
A couple of years after that, I had an opportunity to purchase a cell phone. I purchased it, but for reasons I truly don't remember specifically, was not able to tell my wife I had purchased one. Very shortly after she discovered it on her own. At the time I was studying for financial planning exams at a local coffee place and a female barista who I saw 3-4 times a week when I was studying and chatted with while I ordered coffee put her phone number in my phone. Again nothing happened, and looking back I understand it was wrong, but more thinking that it was nice that someone wanted to keep in touch with me.
I want to stop this habit of lying to save face, or lying because I'm afraid the truth will show I am not worthy in some way of the family I have and I love so much.
Is anyone aware of support/teachings that might help me dig deeper? I know I have sinned, have put up my hand and acknowledged it, and am asking for forgiveness from my wife, and God and Jesus to put me in a better direction. I've hit rock bottom and looking to climb out a new man.
Thank you
I am a newcomer to the teachings of the Bible, but over the past few months have felt compelled to begin a journey. I have begun to attend a Baptist church 3 out of 4 weeks with my family. Prior to this I felt a calling and started to watch online videos with a spiritual positive message, like Joel Osteen weekly.
I have been in a marriage for 13 years with a woman I can not even begin to describe how much joy she brings into my life. I feel the luckiest man for having her in my life, in all honesty I feel I don't deserve her. I also have an 8 year old daughter who is incredible.
My problem is that I have caused great pain in my marriage over the past 8 years. I have lied to my spouse about really small things, i.e. a new dress shirt or tie I may have purchased all the way up to more major issues where I know I have screwed up and am hoping to just make it blow over.
A couple of years after we were married, I felt alone and bored. I joined a free online dating site, and chatted with a couple of people. No plans were ever made to meet, nor did I ever meet anyone. Looking back I feel I was looking for the "thrill" of someone being interested in me, and that was the majority of the feeling/rush. It wasn't anything more then that. My wife found out and we were able to patch it over.
A couple of years after that, I had an opportunity to purchase a cell phone. I purchased it, but for reasons I truly don't remember specifically, was not able to tell my wife I had purchased one. Very shortly after she discovered it on her own. At the time I was studying for financial planning exams at a local coffee place and a female barista who I saw 3-4 times a week when I was studying and chatted with while I ordered coffee put her phone number in my phone. Again nothing happened, and looking back I understand it was wrong, but more thinking that it was nice that someone wanted to keep in touch with me.
I want to stop this habit of lying to save face, or lying because I'm afraid the truth will show I am not worthy in some way of the family I have and I love so much.
Is anyone aware of support/teachings that might help me dig deeper? I know I have sinned, have put up my hand and acknowledged it, and am asking for forgiveness from my wife, and God and Jesus to put me in a better direction. I've hit rock bottom and looking to climb out a new man.
Thank you