Compatibility

[yeshuaslavejeff]

It's a good idea to go evangelize together. We'll do that.

Maybe not a good idea.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

To her defense, she did admit it is weird that she has so little interest for talking and learning more about God and the bible. She said she read the bible so much more out of obligation than pleasure. We do are praying for that. She wants a renewed interest. I do too! But for now, it doesn't look like it's going to happen and I wonder and much time I must wait to see that happen, if ever.

Talking and learning more about God and the bible is often futile and may lead to burn out,
without daily frequent prayer and obedient lives actively doing each day six days a week whatever work can be done honestly and faithfully.
"learning" too much can lead to potentially dire consequences and depression and missing Yahweh's Will for your life/lives (yours and hers).

How similar do two people need to be in order to be a good match for a successful and lifelong happy marriage?

as long as both hear the voice of Jesus and follow Him trusting the Father in heaven, relying on Him for everything, no worries.

but rather the impossibility to answer many questions. She just thinks that some issues, like free will and God's sovereignty, are not answerable. So she just says to herself that she doesn't know what the answer is and moves on. I am far to have reached such a radical point, even if she isn't necessarily wrong. I think more efforts can be made to find the answers.

An important experience noted by some when they or someone they led to Christ Salvation had
is that BEFORE repenting and being immersed in Jesus' Name, there were endless question, many many questions;
AFTER repenting and being immersed in Jesus' Name,
ALL the questions evaporated !!! - no more questions,

INSTEAD, a clear and obvious NEW HEART, a CHANGED LIFE immediately, from the inside out, experienced by the one immersed and seen by others in their lives , from that point on.
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QUOTE=
"Sapiens, post: 73485354, member: 380216"]I did share with her some objections, like that of the bible being corrupt. She became all upset and defensive saying she "doesn't need more than she has, she just trusts the texts and that's it" when I told her about some alleged contradictions in the new testament, objections I've heard imam Shabir Ally use. I mean, I wasn't even challenging her, I was just sharing what I heard and my evaluation of how good the objection was and how we might respond... She didn't know how to respond, so she just said she didn't need an answer......[/QUOTE
When they take you before a judge, do not think ahead of time what to say, for it will be the Father speaking through you ....
(don't even think ahead of time what to say)
There is NO good objection to Scripture, and no contradictions, as any child of Yahweh trusting Yahweh knows perfectly well.

 

[Sapiens]

Maybe not a good idea.

Why not?

 

[Sam91]

I feel very sorry for your girlfriend.

It might be that she is following what the Lord wants her to do. Maybe she is seeking Him instead. Shouldn't you be accepting her for who she is as a child of God. I am reading so much criticism of her in these posts and not much humility in you. Maybe it is your youth making you sure that you are correct.

Please don't keep on at trying to change her. You are not acting in love toward her.

God bless you brother. (Please take this with the kindness I intend, I do feel sorry for her and believe that you mean well.)

 

[Sapiens]

I feel very sorry for your girlfriend.

It might be that she is following what the Lord wants her to do. Maybe she is seeking Him instead. Shouldn't you be accepting her for who she is as a child of God. I am reading so much criticism of her in these posts and not much humility in you. Maybe it is your youth making you sure that you are correct.

Please don't keep on at trying to change her. You are not acting in love toward her.

God bless you brother. (Please take this with the kindness I intend, I do feel sorry for her and believe that you mean well.)

It is possible yes. What should I do then

I'm not necessarily trying to change her though, I'm just wondering if we are too different to live a life together.

 

[Sam91]

I have no idea. Pray for guidance.

Maybe there is a wise, older person who knows you who can advise.

 

[Sapiens]

I am reading so much criticism of her in these posts and not much humility in you. Maybe it is your youth making you sure that you are correct.

I don't think you're being fair to me at all in this regard, sister. I just went through my posts and I very much disagree with you, even if I read myself with an opened mind and trying to see what you said in my words.

Numerous times I defended her "to her credit, to her defense" after I shared something wrong with her. I also shared several qualities she has and the good influences she has on me (like going to church and praying). I shared that I wasn't perfect and need to be forgiving when she hurts me, because I'm also not perfect and hurt her (and others). So I do think I showed some humility in my posts. Also, I come here for advice on things that trouble me. I have to make one of the most important decision of my life with her... I'm sharing the problems I see and the hurt I felt in this relationship. So I wasn't trying to present her as the most perfect woman with whom I have the most perfect relationship... I do am scared of speaking ill of people and not being fair, so I dare say if you didn't see it that in my words, it isn't because it wasn't there. Or else please show me where I am mistaken.

 

[Sam91]

I don't think you're being fair to me at all in this regard, sister. I just went through my posts and I very much disagree with you, even if I read myself with an opened mind and trying to see what you said in my words.

Numerous times I defended her "to her credit, to her defense" after I shared something wrong with her. I also shared several qualities she has and the good influences she has on me (like going to church and praying). I shared that I wasn't perfect and need to be forgiving when she hurts me, because I'm also not perfect and hurt her (and others). So I do think I showed some humility in my posts. Also, I come here for advice on things that trouble me. I have to make one of the most important decision of my life with her... I'm sharing the problems I see and the hurt I felt in this relationship. So I wasn't trying to present her as the most perfect woman with whom I have the most perfect relationship... I do am scared of speaking ill of people and not being fair, so I dare say if you didn't see it that in my words, it isn't because it wasn't there. Or else please show me where I am mistaken.

If I wasn't fair to you, I am sorry. I'm really quite sleepy, so don't fancy re-reading the thread. I also struggle with quoting sections etc. It is nit picky and really hard to do on my mobile.. I relied on my memory from when I read a few days ago. Today I read the new posts.

Where I am coming from is imagining what it is like having the same discussions with someone continually.

You did mention that you had numerous conversations with her about the importance of apologetics. Now, I am not party to how often you bring this up with her but it is quite like nagging.

If she was consistently bringing up an area that she wanted you to change you, ignoring your reasons for not wanting to change. I think you would have a problem with it. She might feel that she is being patient with you, tolerant etc.

I do not know because I can only imagine the scenario from my frame of reference. But she is who she is. Created in the way that she was, with her own skills with which to serve Him. I don't mean to offend, i just think it is something you might want to consider.

 

[Sapiens]

If I wasn't fair to you, I am sorry. I'm really quite sleepy, so don't fancy re-reading the thread. I also struggle with quoting sections etc. It is nit picky and really hard to do on my mobile.. I relied on my memory from when I read a few days ago. Today I read the new posts.

Where I am coming from is imagining what it is like having the same discussions with someone continually.

You did mention that you had numerous conversations with her about the importance of apologetics. Now, I am not party to how often you bring this up with her but it is quite like nagging.

If she was consistently bringing up an area that she wanted you to change you, ignoring your reasons for not wanting to change. I think you would have a problem with it. She might feel that she is being patient with you, tolerant etc.

I do not know because I can only imagine the scenario from my frame of reference. But she is who she is. Created in the way that she was, with her own skills with which to serve Him. I don't mean to offend, i just think it is something you might want to consider.

Ok, I see where the misunderstanding is. Your point isn't bad, but it isn't the case that I'm bringing this up constantly. When I said that I brought the subject up, I just meant that I shared my thoughts or some preaching I heard. We did talk about the importance of it too, but like only a few times. Also, I don't necessarily want her to change, although I don't get why she fails to see the relevance of apologetics, but I mostly wonder how we can make this work given that I would like to work in this area later.

I thank you for your apology and I accept it.

 

[bèlla]

You want a partner who shares your passion for apologetics. It doesn't sound like she does. That may never change. Can you live with that?

I view compatibility from the lens of purpose and my calling. If we're suitable where it matters most and our temperaments are complementary I have little complaint. However, if the other person shows incredible passion for a subject that I lack and have no interest in developing, I wouldn't get involved.

This can be challenging for some and give the impression they're unsupported. And oftentimes they long to share with their companion. I would be ill-suited for him unless I was willing to change or we found a happy medium.

 

[sunshine100]

A friend of mine also said God wanted to tell me (through him) she was a gift from God to me and that we should just trust him.

I agree