Communication Skills

[LadyBird]

How do you improve communication skills in a relationship?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

It takes time. I think there is more to it than that also. In your late teens and early 20s, you have some issues you need to work through whether that be insecurities, low self-esteem, or fears of this and that. This is a time when God forges you into the person he wants you to be.
Communicating improves when you can allow yourself to expose your weaknesses to someone.

Did that make any sense at all?

 

[BLESSED822]

You know I was thinking about this last night well this morning....and I was decided was I gonna make a topic on it....But Mr. Cheese your response helped me a whole lot in those few short words.....Thank You

 

[ej]

It takes time...In your late teens and early 20s, you have some issues you need to work through whether that be insecurities, low self-esteem, or fears of this and that. This is a time when God forges you into the person he wants you to be.
Communicating improves when you can allow yourself to expose your weaknesses to someone.

Now, young man, why couldn't you have told me this a 6 months ago?!


He's right, oh so right...

The key words here are:

1 - ISSUES - These exist, on both sides. They need to be first accepted, and then dealt with.

2 - FEARS - Check out my signature. Fear prevents adequate communication. It must be first acknowledged, then dealt with.

3 - GOD - Whether you put Him first, second, or equal (I go for equal) with your significant other, remember that he can help you. Firstly to accept yourself, and then to love your other half.

4 - EXPOSE YOUR WEAKNESSES - You have to be real in order to communicate. If you're hiding stuff, you're allowing fear to prevail...

I could talk about this forever, but since I'm really just agreeing with Cheese, I'll leave it at that!

Oh... one more thing, Tina... be prepared for some hard work. Men are (Cheese apart) less functional communicators than us girls.

 

[LifeInYou]

People often look past it, but I think listening is a significant element in successful/effective communication. You're communicating that you care by actively listening.

Active Listening= trying to get a true sense of what the person is communicating to you-this can be observed as well as heard. Paraphrasing what the person said always helps in your understanding. And finally, sticking yourself in their shoes (empathizing with them).

Communication is really a combination of things-Nonverbal is the most meaningful form methinks. For example, what would make you believe that your partner loved you more? Him/her saying "I love you" to you, or him/her eluding temptation for your sake when it is put in front of him? Of course humans need/want to hear the words I love you-but it's more meaningful when the love is proven.

Another thing I've come to realize would help me to communicate better in my relationships is if I expanded my vocabulary. At times when I'm explaining something to someone I feel limited because what I want to communicate is more powerful then the words I have to describe it.

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

Live apart from each other. Seriously go a few months with only talking online and the phone. That's how you develop them. That's the way me and my boyfriend have had to do it and we tell each other everything. Fears, insecurities, deep dark secrets, everything.

 

[Inperfected]

Breathing life into this topic, but only bvecause the advice given, was so crucial to today life as well as then...

 

[juzzi]

Thanks for bumping up the topic Inperfected, it's actually helped me right now

 

[Niels]

Ask questions, listen and practice. It wouldn't hurt to read a few books on interpersonal communication. There are ways to modify your body language in order to better express yourself. Good posture, decent manners, and a willingness to make mistakes can also go a long way toward improving one's communication skills.

 

[trinitygrace]

Live apart from each other. Seriously go a few months with only talking online and the phone. That's how you develop them. That's the way me and my boyfriend have had to do it and we tell each other everything. Fears, insecurities, deep dark secrets, everything.

Yeah I agree Lizzi4Christ. I am seeing how that belief is at work in my cousin's life. Her husband is over in Korea in the army and the only way she can communicate with him is over the net. They have the best relationship I have ever seen. They tell each other everything. She sometimes tells me they have such a close connection, that she feels the same things he does at the same time. I pray to God I can have that someday with my future spouse.

 

[AJH16]

You know, this may sound really wierd, but for my girlfriend and I, we simply talked about our desire to have really open communication and so we do. For whatever reason, probably God, we just trust each other almost explicitly right off the back. I know that I had to share some really painful stuff with her fairly early on in the relationship so that may have been helpful, but in general the best way to promote honest, open communication is to be clear that you want them to be honest even if it will hurt you and to be honest and open even if it is embarasing or you are ashamed about it. If you make yourself vulnerable, then it is much easier for the other person to be vulnerable.