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[FloridaMike]

Hi --

I thought I'd put out a little bit for some comments...I am not sure if this little ditty is exactly correct for this site...I do intend it to be a bit of a light hearted piece...

Spades
by
Mike Broemmel

Adolph dealt thirteen cards to each of the four players seated around the
velveteen-covered poker-styled table. The gentlemen were engaged in the game
of cut-throat spades for some time.

Judas bid first, with a sigh. “I’ve three.’ Cain followed, with the same call
of books.

“Three for me, too,” the Brit called Jack said, slowly shaking his head. After
sorting his hand, Adolph echoed the others and bid three.

After the hand played out with thirteen rounds about the table, each player
received the three books they each separately bid. The tied score between them
stood at 333 points apiece.

Judas dealt next, slipping thirteen cards onto four piles around the table.
Cain led the bidding.

“Three.”

“Three,” Jack chimed along.

“Three,” Adolph said, as did Judas in turn. When the hand played out, the tied
score was 336 points each.

“Your deal, Jack,” Cain said, scooping the cards towards the Londoner.
“Three for me,” Judas bid.

“Me too,” Adolph said.

“Me three,” Cain said, chuckling at his play with words.

“Ditto,” Jack said, again shaking his head.

As the hand played out, Jack asked Adolph what he missed most about Germany.

“Germany?” Adolph said.

“Right,” Jack confirmed.

“Yes, tell us, Adolph,” Cain piped in. “What is it you miss most about
Germany?”

“Ahh, the Fatherland...“ Adolph sighed, slapping a card on the table with his
turn at play.

“What do you miss most?” asked Jack.

“Tell us,” Cain prodded.

“I miss...the most, that is,” Adolph replied. “The most I miss my rallies.”
“Rallies?” Jack asked. Adolph nodded.

“Tell us about the rallies,” Cain said. “Do tell us.”

“They were quite magnificent, actually,” Adolph said, fingering his stubby
mustache squarely centered on his upper lip. “The rallies, they were quite
magnificent.”

“That’s what you miss most, Adolph?” asked Jack, “The rallies?”

“Yes, I believe so. I loved my rallies. They were...magnificent,” The hand
finished while Adolph reminisced about a particular rally in Nuremberg. “It
was beautiful,” he remarked. The score, equal all around, rose to 339.

Another hand was dealt, after which each of the foursome bid three books.

“What about you, Jack?” Adolph asked.

“Me?” Jack replied.

“Yes, Jack. What do you miss most about London.”

“Well, let me see...”

“Yes, tell us,” Cain interjected. “Tell us.”

“Let me think a minute,” he said, playing a card.

The hand played out before Jack spoke further. A fresh thirteen cards apiece
were dealt all around.

“Gosh,” Cain said, directly before bidding. “I nearly thought I might have
enough to go four this hand…to bid four.”

“Wouldn’t that have been something?” quipped Adolph.

As play began, Adolph once more asked, what he missed most being away from
London.

“You know...you’ll laugh.”

The others chimed back, ensuring Jack they would not laugh at him.

“Well,” he tentatively began. “What I miss most, about being away from
London...what I miss most, I think....is the nickname I was given.”

“The nickname?” Adolph and Judas said in unison.

“Tell us about the nickname, Jack,” Cain said. “Do tell us.”

Jack gave a nervous laugh and flushed pink. “They called me Ripper,” he
explained. “Jack the Ripper.”

“Gosh, what a swell name,” Cain gushed. “Just a swell name, for sure.” A
couple of minutes after the discussion of Jack’s London nickname ended, so did
the hand.

“Okay, then,” Adolph pronounced. “That makes a tie game, 345 all around.” A
couple of the others sighed as the cards were gathered up for another go.

Before another hand could be dealt all about, Cleopatra entered the room
carrying a steaming, piping hot kettle.

“Who wants oatmeal?” she asked. The four men mumbled as Cleopatra ladled the
lumpy, gray-colored dish into bowls for all. “Enjoy,” she said as she exited,
“Shall we?” Jack asked and another hand was played as they spooned out oatmeal.

“Well then,” Adolph declared at the end of the round about. “That’s a
tie...again. 348 all around.”

“So, Cain,” Jack said. “You never did tell us what you liked best about or
missed most.”

“Yes, Cain. Tell us about Eden,” Adolph added.

“Gosh fellows,” Cain replied. “I never actually lived in Eden.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“I thought you lived in Eden,” Adolph added.

“Gosh no.” Cain scratched his head, “Actually, my folks moved...well, were
moved, that is...from Eden before I was born.”

“Is that so?” Jack asked after which Cain nodded affirmatively.

“What about you, Judas? What do you miss most about…” Jack’s voice trailed
off.

“Galilee,” Judas said.

“Right,” Jack replied.

“Well, I’m not sure what I miss the most. But I know what I regret the most,”
Judas explained.

“Gosh, Judas…what’s that?” Cain asked.

“I wish I’d never taken those gold coins.”

“I expect not,” Adolph said in reply.

The group played two dozen more hands, the tied score reading 420 all around
when Cleopatra returned to the room with her kettle.

“Who wants oatmeal?” she asked, Adolph, Judas, Cain and Jack all muttered
while Cleopatra served up bowls for each.

Time passed and the foursome worked through another 1,376,242 hands. The score
was tied 4,129,146. During that time, Cleopatra served oatmeal to the men
another 57,315 times.

“How much longer are we going to play this game?” Adolph complained. The
others shrugged.

“What I want to know about is the oatmeal. How much more oatmeal are we going
to eat?” Jack asked. The others shrugged.

“Gosh,” Cain said. “If I’d only known...”

“Known what?” Adolph asked.

“If I’d known that Hades was going to be like this.” Cain gestured at the tied
score in the game of spades and the bowls of oatmeal.

“Well,” replied Adolph, “I suppose we’ve got it better than those two fellows
in the next room playing Tic-Tac-Toe.”

The End

 

[ConstanceB]

Hey, Mike! Thanks for sharing this piece. I love it. I don't know what game they were playing, but if it came with lumpy oatmeal, it would be hell. cb

 

[FloridaMike]

LOL -- Indeed...