coming to terms

[bluegreysky]

I am finally coming to terms with the fact...


...I will probably never have a normal, healthy relationship.
Thinking it over,
I never really have
they all had some hangup
and though I am friends with some of them,
all the new ones I meet have hangups
and I just feel like I will never have anything "normal" with anyone.

UGH.

 

[TheDude2011]

Well yeah, everyone you will ever meet will have hang-ups, baggage, emotional scaring, or whatever you want to call it. Just part of being human. At the rip old age of 24 it seems a little premature to through in the towel on meeting someone that manages his hang-ups effectively enough for a normal relationship.

 

[Blank123]

i don't know what you mean by having a normal relationship (not sure that exists) or what hangups you mean. but i understand the frustration of thinking you will never find someone who is your match. basically... any time i meet a guy that i can get excited about, something comes up. And its the same general idea with every guy and every potential relationship, which i don't really want to get into here.

I think that means I need to do some self-examination about why i seem to always be drawn to those men and maybe allow myself to be open to other men i may not have allowed myself to consider before.

i think what it all comes down to in the end... if we're not meeting guys who are good matches yet, all it means is we haven't found our matches yet. and patience is required.

 

[elenore]

why don't you pray and ask God to choose your spouse. he's good at matching hangups.

 

[Sketcher]

I'd hate for this to be some self-fulfilling prophesy and see you in terrible relationships for the rest of your life. You really should nip this in the bud now that you're single. Yeah, you've had bad experiences so far, but do you want to have experiences which are at least as bad for the rest of your life, or only have to deal with the crap you've been through?

 

[wesrman]

You're aiming too low imo. Dont look for normal, look for magic. And you're still young. It will happen eventually so work on being the best you can be so when it does you're ready. :0)

 

[Rhye]

Blindish post. kind of.
Why don't you try not be in a relationship or think about being in one for a little while and just enjoy your life? Maybe then you will see the patterns of why you choose certain men and then you can notice red flags sooner then later. Or maybe just don't think about relationships and take care of yourself and your wounds.

 

[Boondock_Saint]

I am finally coming to terms with the fact...


...I will probably never have a normal, healthy relationship.
Thinking it over,
I never really have
they all had some hangup
and though I am friends with some of them,
all the new ones I meet have hangups
and I just feel like I will never have anything "normal" with anyone.

UGH.

I also used to think that I would never have a normal relationship. It was actually just last week that I reached a very important milestone. I want a normal relationship, therefore I will do everything in my power to make sure I have one. Even if it means I have to change a few things about myself.

When everyone in the room is causing you be feel a certain way, you are the singularity that is causing all the stress. This has been true many times for me.
What is it about yourself that is causing the hangups? Are you a perfect mate? I used to think I was.

 

[GQ Chris]

Blindish post. kind of.
Why don't you try not be in a relationship or think about being in one for a little while and just enjoy your life? Maybe then you will see the patterns of why you choose certain men and then you can notice red flags sooner then later. Or maybe just don't think about relationships and take care of yourself and your wounds.

This.

 

[trentlogain2]

i used to think i was destined to fail in relationships too. i destroyed myself spiritually and emotionally by watching pornography. because of that i had some serious issues with knowing how to interact with women. first thing was i had to repent of porn and then began the gradual process of the Lord restoring the years i wasted in porn, and slowly he started to teach me how to fellowship with people of the opposite sex.

 

[IamStefanie]

i used to think i was destined to fail in relationships too. i destroyed myself spiritually and emotionally by watching pornography. because of that i had some serious issues with knowing how to interact with women. first thing was i had to repent of porn and then began the gradual process of the Lord restoring the years i wasted in porn, and slowly he started to teach me how to fellowship with people of the opposite sex.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing your experience trentlogain. Reading this just made me think about some things in my own life. May the Lord continue to bless you on your journey.

OP: Life and death lies in the power of the toungue, right? Every day you live is an opportunity for something new. Don't limit what God can do in your life. You may have not had good relationship experience, but know that (1) You are not the only one who has been through the crap. You're still here so you must be doing a bit okay. (2) If we learn some things from the failed relationships, we can carry some wisdom over into ALL relationships that God brings to our lives; whether that is romantic, friendships, family, church members, co-workers/etc....Don't lose your faith.