coming on to quickly

[blueSKYpilot]

i need some advice from a girls perspective

now i'm not socially inept or anything.. and id say that i am somewhat of a ladies man.. but i dont boast my social skills.. i give thanks to the Lord that i have the wit and humor that i do

that being said, sometimes i screw up and end up writing love notes and stuff saying that i really like you, blah blah.. and then i get confused as to how it made them feel

or last summer for instance. i called a girl that i really liked.. i dont know her that well.. but i caught her staring at me in school and stuff... and i totally picked up a vibe that she was obsessed with me

then when i called her it was obvious i was nervous.. and i startd stuttering and what not... and she seemed all "weirded out".. and i couldnt tell it was nervousness on her part.. and then i ended up saying "well then should i just move on then".. the worst conversation i've ever had.. and yea she told me to move on.. and my friends mocked me for weeks and weeks and weeks and drew cartoons of her laughing at me and me crying and stuff.. it really hurt

so to sum it up..ladies... how would it make you feel if a guy really really really liked you.. and you didnt know each other that well?

would that "weird you out" or would that make u feel good inside?

i seriously cannot understand women.

and i know how to flirt and stuff.. only problem is i suck at flirting with girls i like because i get nervous sometimes.. and its OBVIOUS why im nervous..

 

[GarethV]

You could always try having a conversation about a shared interest. It's always bad news when you go in, trying to cold talk your way through a conversation about nothing but the possibility of 'going out'. That always turns to rat turds. Just noticed I'm listed as female, that aint right!

 

[Tuffguy]

You're just nervous man. More experience is the order of the day for you. Don't ever tell a girl how much you like her or how pretty she is early in the relationship. This type of conversation is totally off limits for the first 2 dates.
The best way to talk to women is like you would and old female friend. Pretend you know them and are having your 10000000th conversation with them. If you do this it appears very confident and not at all weird.

 

[alwayz_remember_Calvery]

if i some guy i hardly knew called me, i would definitely be weirded out.
My roommate had a guy from school IM her sometime in December. She had never met the guy and had no clue who he was. He called here once when she was gone and it totally freaked her out. Then, he kept bothering her on AOL. Now, his SN is blocked and she avoids him at all possible costs.

 

[blueSKYpilot]

how do you know that it wasnt some innocent guy who had nothing but a crush on her?

lol not every random IM is a stalker!

 

[superfly]

firstly, flirting is wrong. it's leading someone on, and that's deception, which is just an alternate form of lying. so don't flirt.

secondly, make sure the other person is a christian (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, quoted at the bottom of this post)

thirdly, DON'T try to hook up with someone you don't know. if you're intending going out with someone, you should be intending on marrying them BEFORE you start going out with them.

finally, make lots of good friends of the opposite sex. especially if you are a guy, make some GOOD female friends. they are very precious and very helpful when you do get to relationships. also then, you might end up going out with one of your friends, and then you already know them pretty well, so there's no nervousness and no hidden agendas and other funny things.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

 

[alwayz_remember_Calvery]

how do you know that it wasnt some innocent guy who had nothing but a crush on her?

lol not every random IM is a stalker!

if this wasn't directed at me, then i'm sorry.

First it wasn't just IMing, as i said earlier, he also called and wanted to talk to her, but she wasn't home at the time. He also wanted to meet up after their first IM conversation. I'm sure she would have been fine with it, if he didn't move so quickly or come on so strong.

 

[choceo]

You're just nervous man. More experience is the order of the day for you. Don't ever tell a girl how much you like her or how pretty she is early in the relationship. This type of conversation is totally off limits for the first 2 dates.
The best way to talk to women is like you would and old female friend. Pretend you know them and are having your 10000000th conversation with them. If you do this it appears very confident and not at all weird.

here here!!

 

[Hope_0004]

I don't get why flirting is the same thing as lying...

Um, anyway... I think you are exactly right, you are coming on too strong. Perhaps the reason these girls are attracted to you is because of your wit or humor, but when you call them or write them strange letters, it doesn't really utilize what you have going for you! It sounds like you're a "fun" guy, right? So the best way to showcase your good qualities is to just be around someone, getting to know them at the same time they are getting to know you.

Next time, no love notes to people you don't know well... they can be easily misinterpreted and also they are permanent, so if you give one to a girl who turns out to be a meanie... well, she's got it to show around forever. Plus, it's not really time to be doing that if you don't know her that well.

Just call her up, ask her if she wants to hang out... probably not even in a date-like setting, but just with a group of friends or something. Pick something that is an event, like a concert or a night out somewhere... and then you get a chance to see if you like her too!

 

[radhead]

It's a turnoff for anyone regardless of gender.

It's difficult to understand unless you've had someone come on too quickly with you.