I have been sober for over a year, and thought things were going well... I had a job that I enjoyed and thought it was the right to register for school.
Lost that job, started school, now can't get a job due to being in school (!).
Ran out of money and been selling plasma for the little cash it gives. Second month Dad had to bail me out for rent money.
I have been attending church pretty regularly over the past year, and a consistent prayer life also. I don't think that everything should be perfect because of that, but have stopped praying. I used to pray daily, thanking God for my blessings and begging to have a door opened so I could get a job and not worry about being homeless (spent several years "on the street").... no luck.
So the conclusions that I came to are
A. There is no God (I DON'T believe this, but a possibility)
B. God cares but is powerless to do anything about (why bother worshiping a helpless God, I am helpless enough by myself)
C. God DOESN'T care, and is in fact getting his "jollies" from my predicament.
Sure, the bible says struggles build perseverance, but what good is that when your life keeps heading downhill? Perseverance should be a factor in your life moving forward.
This has me all torn up as I was doing well in my faith walk, but now....
Any input is appreciated. Thanks.
Hi, I'm sorry for what you are going through.
(ETA: Please know that this post in no way is saying others have it worse, in this post, am trying to show, the things which occur in this world; to us and others, and the question of why... and yet we know God is for us, and we know God will see you and us through no matter what happens.)
Friend, the situation is and I see it a lot, people think that God does what God may not do. Due to such see many leave Christ.
In the world which is full of people God loves wholly and perfectly, which is all humans;
but in this world, little babies are raped;
people die of starvation;
people in america are on the street even though they are working; whole family on the street;
people jobless for years;
illness which incapacitates;
accidents which maim and kill;
no health insurance, no health care for millions, if not billions;
no water to drink;
weather disasters;
and the list is endless.
God does no evil. He does not make people sick, he does not make people starve, and etc.
But we also know that the above list is truth.
And we also know that God loves each of those and us more than we can ever dream or imagine.
So with that knowledge, one has to hang on to what we know about God, what He's given us;
He will never leave us or forsake us;
He works all things to our good (not at all saying he caused the bad, as he does not, but he works all things to our good) though we may not see it now, maybe see it later, or maybe not at all
He is with us in whatever we go through.
He never intended us to live in this valley of the shadow of death, but we do.
And He's rescued us, by us being in Christ;
though as you said, you know we will not be without suffering and struggling in this world, the bible says such.
says that evil prosper while good perish;
So brother hang on, as God is our all.
We may be killed at some future point for being believers in Christ, such is occuring now, in persecuted countries.
Those in such countries, if they are believers and are found out, it may be that due to such, they are not allowed to work, can have no job, so no food, no place to live perhaps, they may only have a corner of a page of scripture and be all they know except what others have passed on to them by word of mouth. They are in prisons, and being tortured and killed for their faith in Christ.
This happens in different places, but I am specifically thinking of China. And I don't have anywhere near the faith, not even close to what these brothers and sisters have as they say, please do not pray that this stops occuring to us, because due to such the gospel is spreading like wildfire. As well they say, they consider it an honor to suffer for God.
Please know I am not writing any of the above to be saying, look at others suffering and how can we complain. I would never say such a thing.
Everything we go through is just as painful and hard and awful to us no matter what it is.
As you see yourself, how serious it is in your case that you wonder about God. As to His care for you.
We know there is a battle going on, and we have no idea of what is going on in that, we have no idea.
We know that God is for us. We know if we pull away, He never will. We know God is good..
I've not yet been through fires as a Christian which I am aware that due to my age, and medical conditions etc, that at sometime in the near future I may be devastatingly sick.
Or I could go out tomorrow and be maimed in an accident, or hit a pedestrian and go to jail, anything can happen to us.
We can only get through this life with Jesus, at least us who believe I mean, we have more than those who do not know Jesus as we have God in our lives. We have truths which sustain us and God with us.
At times I think about something Paul says in the book of Corinthians which troubles me sometimes;
We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.
I think when I read this, oh God, I don't know if I could handle going through that, and yet I also know, that God will help me through whatever it is occurs.
Even if homeless, as have been so before, which is one of my biggest fears as could happen in a moment, and not just to me but to many and with no where to turn, no one to take me in.
But hang in there brother, and know that what we have is spiritual wealth in Jesus, in as much as we are able to accept it with our understanding and feelings and however we are at in our walk, and we are all in different places.
praying for a job for you,
tapero