- Nov 2, 2007
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Hi. 
First off, I am an SSA struggler. Which means I struggle with same sex attractions. God's changing that slowly and surely. That is not the point, nor do I want comments on that. The point is this:
As this changes, I am becoming more attracted to girls. This is a tad awkward for me. But marriage and what God has planned for the future has been on my mind lately. I've seen three movies now and God's seemed to talk through all three. The first, Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace, you may be familiar with- Qui-gon makes it possible for Anakin to be trained as a Jedi, but dies at the end and Obi-wan takes over his training. In the movie, Anakin is 9-10.
The second, Christmas Shoes, talks about a kid whose mother gets diagnosed with a heart problem, and unless she has a transplant, she's going to die. She misses a transplant due to Hep. B, and is going to die- the days leading up to her death show the mother trying to do what she can to prepare the father for the future before she goes, and eventually dies but not after the kid's story intersects with another guy who is also impacted by the events and allows for the kid to buy a pair of shoes for the mother to dance with in heaven. Very emotional, cried 5 times and that would be the seventh time I've cried this year. I don't cry much. But the kid in that movie is in fourth grade, or about 9-10, again.
The third movie, Nanny McPhee, was about a male widow and his seven unruly children who he has extreme trouble finding a nanny for due to the unruly behavior. Then Nanny McPhee comes on the scene with five lessons for the kids to learn, using magic to accomplish it (kid magic, taps her cane on the ground and poof), all the while trying to get money for the widow who is unable to independently support his family and must marry by the end of the month. All objectives of the widow are accomplished- he gets [happily] married and his kids learn the five lessons, and Nanny McPhee leaves, and the quote, "When you need me but do not want me, I will remain. When you want me but do not need me, I must leave." is repeated. Practically all of the cast have names of people I know.
Now, I know that as Christians we're not to overspiritualize things, but I cannot help but notice a pattern.
Kid/s lose someone close, someone is prepared to carry on after the guide is gone, and a connection is made between the ones carrying on and the kid/s.
Could God be telling me to get a move on? There's three freshmen gals I know, and one in particular is great. She's funny, energetic, disciplined, loves kids (like I do), and strong in her faith. She is similar but different enough to become a great friend, and I'm wondering if God has bigger things planned. I don't believe in coincidence. Any interpretations or ideas of what might be going on? God often speaks through some kind of analogy, story, or media when He tells me something.
Kindly do not give me guidance about the SSA thing, that is under control with stronger Christian men and accountability, and God is working. I am more concerned about the future and what the three instances might mean.
First off, I am an SSA struggler. Which means I struggle with same sex attractions. God's changing that slowly and surely. That is not the point, nor do I want comments on that. The point is this:
As this changes, I am becoming more attracted to girls. This is a tad awkward for me. But marriage and what God has planned for the future has been on my mind lately. I've seen three movies now and God's seemed to talk through all three. The first, Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace, you may be familiar with- Qui-gon makes it possible for Anakin to be trained as a Jedi, but dies at the end and Obi-wan takes over his training. In the movie, Anakin is 9-10.
The second, Christmas Shoes, talks about a kid whose mother gets diagnosed with a heart problem, and unless she has a transplant, she's going to die. She misses a transplant due to Hep. B, and is going to die- the days leading up to her death show the mother trying to do what she can to prepare the father for the future before she goes, and eventually dies but not after the kid's story intersects with another guy who is also impacted by the events and allows for the kid to buy a pair of shoes for the mother to dance with in heaven. Very emotional, cried 5 times and that would be the seventh time I've cried this year. I don't cry much. But the kid in that movie is in fourth grade, or about 9-10, again.
The third movie, Nanny McPhee, was about a male widow and his seven unruly children who he has extreme trouble finding a nanny for due to the unruly behavior. Then Nanny McPhee comes on the scene with five lessons for the kids to learn, using magic to accomplish it (kid magic, taps her cane on the ground and poof), all the while trying to get money for the widow who is unable to independently support his family and must marry by the end of the month. All objectives of the widow are accomplished- he gets [happily] married and his kids learn the five lessons, and Nanny McPhee leaves, and the quote, "When you need me but do not want me, I will remain. When you want me but do not need me, I must leave." is repeated. Practically all of the cast have names of people I know.
Now, I know that as Christians we're not to overspiritualize things, but I cannot help but notice a pattern.
Kid/s lose someone close, someone is prepared to carry on after the guide is gone, and a connection is made between the ones carrying on and the kid/s.
Could God be telling me to get a move on? There's three freshmen gals I know, and one in particular is great. She's funny, energetic, disciplined, loves kids (like I do), and strong in her faith. She is similar but different enough to become a great friend, and I'm wondering if God has bigger things planned. I don't believe in coincidence. Any interpretations or ideas of what might be going on? God often speaks through some kind of analogy, story, or media when He tells me something.
Kindly do not give me guidance about the SSA thing, that is under control with stronger Christian men and accountability, and God is working. I am more concerned about the future and what the three instances might mean.
