Hello brothers in Christ,
First of all, my english is far from being perfect. I am from Montreal where french is the first Language we learn at school. I am also hispanic, so before english turned into a linguistical obligation, i had two languages interfering with the natural process of learning a new tongue.
I am 26 years old and it has been 1 year that i came back to my christian ways. I believe in Jesus Christ as my saviour, i grew up in a pentecostal family. I am 3-4 months away from getting a degree in sound engineering and recording arts.
I feel the Holy Spirit touches my soul, as i praise God at the church but as i go back to my daily obligations, i feel confused even tho i don't think i'll ever go back to my darkest days. Unfortunately for me, i still struggle to have friends, to make new friends wherever it's in church or in the secular world. My personality is off, i am what you can call an "akward person". Which always inflicts me with constant insecurity issues even tho i know God loves me.
I never came back to my original church, where my parents took me as a kid for personal justified reasons such as the time was flying. There was no young woman about my age at church and i don't wanna be single forever, so i decided to leave. The big church that i'm attending now is a place where i can feel a renewed spiritual energy, especially from the male leaders and the married young couples of the church. That church is amazing and perfect for me, i see many single women at that specific church that would be perfect for me. Many of them are the way i like them too (physically speaking) and a beautiful christian woman that loves God over anything signifies the perfect option to me. I go to church on fridays for young adults reunions and sundays for the general service.
ThE Story ***
. There is a girl at the church, that accepted Christ six to eight months ago, comes from a non-practicant orthodox family. She searches God by her own basically, which i find very admirable, her mom died and i'm not sure how long ago. Her search for God is outstanding for the born and raised in a christian family guy that I am. I developped a strong attraction towards Amy (not her real name) that is studying to become a nurse. At first, she didn't caught my attention but one night i spoke to her and i realized she was very happy to have found the church. She is a shy person, very talkative once you break the ice.. btw, I refuse to believe that as a christian you are not allowed to look at physical beauty first because this is the most natural thing to do and you don't wanna a marry a woman that you find physically repulsive. For months i've been wondering if she could be the one. Asking God, if that's His will. I would finally have the woman of my life and the perfect help and joy like the Bible says in genesis and proverbs 18:22.
Unfortunately, evidence is telling me otherwise. I never had a girlfriend in my entire life which can be cringeworthy to many. All the girls that have turned me down, did it the same way. By suddenly stopping to respond to my messages, telling me they have stuff to do in person when i invited them to go eat something". A few weeks ago, Amy seemed nice and now she seems distant again. I've been treating her nicely, being nice to her friends and making them laugh. I am not the most attractive guy, especially not with the Hollywood and media standards influence. I am fully aware that i don't meet those standards but i'm a very fit guy with great sense of humor, that does music and has shown chivalry towards women all his life. Somehow that is not enough for her to be polite enough to respond, none of my messages are invitations to go out so i don't see what she has to gain by not answering.
I always thought christian women were different until very recently as i never really been to big churches before. I feel they are exactly as the girls that never accepted Jesus as their Saviour. Despite being very attracted by Amy, i refuse to put all my eggs in the same basket and i try my best to connect with other girls from time to time. Unfortunately, they behave the same as the women of the world, especially when they are pretty. Also, if you talk to a girl, and she has a friend with her that suspects you're interested by your crush, she will behave exactly like the girls of the world by trying to make you feel uncomfortable and even pulling their more desirable friend out of the situation. That is sadly how it is.
At many occasions, i was talking with Amy, and some other girl she met two or three weeks ago, comes at us and cuts right into our conversation without aknowledging me, like it's no big deal. I also know there are at least 4 single guys at the moment that are trying to "score points" on Amy and I don't feel threatened at all even tho some of them broke into our conversation too. Let the best man have her. Right?
The church is mainly composed of Quebec French Canadians and minorities (mostly haitians) . I always had that prejudice towards french canadians, prejudice that holds true, especially now. They are in general classless when it comes to leaving a conversation for another one and they're amazingly cold when it comes to ignoring those they don't consider useful in a near future or at the moment. Sorry for this readers.
OnFinal Note..
I really like Amy, but she hasn't added me on facebook, she hasn't responded to a single message on her phone. I like to think she is just busy. I've been teached to never ignore people, that is disrespectful and as someone that has been ignored in high school for not being crazy popular i feel bad to just contemplate the thought of ignoring someone. I always respond to my messages, no matter who it is. For that reason only, i get frustrated when people do that. I know girls of the world are teached to treat men like they're feces and to don't aknowledge them, but i never expected this to be the case with most church girls. Amy is fairly attractive and she probably knows it. I am almost losing hope. She is pretty much the only girl i like, i have hard time meeting new people and i feel that i will never have her. I am very disappointed and i wonder sometimes if God really changes people in 2016.
What should i do? Has anyone experienced the same things? Does it sound like something you know?
Thoughts?
Thanks a lot, i'll never have the courage to say those things outside the internet. God bless!!!
First of all, my english is far from being perfect. I am from Montreal where french is the first Language we learn at school. I am also hispanic, so before english turned into a linguistical obligation, i had two languages interfering with the natural process of learning a new tongue.
I am 26 years old and it has been 1 year that i came back to my christian ways. I believe in Jesus Christ as my saviour, i grew up in a pentecostal family. I am 3-4 months away from getting a degree in sound engineering and recording arts.
I feel the Holy Spirit touches my soul, as i praise God at the church but as i go back to my daily obligations, i feel confused even tho i don't think i'll ever go back to my darkest days. Unfortunately for me, i still struggle to have friends, to make new friends wherever it's in church or in the secular world. My personality is off, i am what you can call an "akward person". Which always inflicts me with constant insecurity issues even tho i know God loves me.
I never came back to my original church, where my parents took me as a kid for personal justified reasons such as the time was flying. There was no young woman about my age at church and i don't wanna be single forever, so i decided to leave. The big church that i'm attending now is a place where i can feel a renewed spiritual energy, especially from the male leaders and the married young couples of the church. That church is amazing and perfect for me, i see many single women at that specific church that would be perfect for me. Many of them are the way i like them too (physically speaking) and a beautiful christian woman that loves God over anything signifies the perfect option to me. I go to church on fridays for young adults reunions and sundays for the general service.
ThE Story ***
. There is a girl at the church, that accepted Christ six to eight months ago, comes from a non-practicant orthodox family. She searches God by her own basically, which i find very admirable, her mom died and i'm not sure how long ago. Her search for God is outstanding for the born and raised in a christian family guy that I am. I developped a strong attraction towards Amy (not her real name) that is studying to become a nurse. At first, she didn't caught my attention but one night i spoke to her and i realized she was very happy to have found the church. She is a shy person, very talkative once you break the ice.. btw, I refuse to believe that as a christian you are not allowed to look at physical beauty first because this is the most natural thing to do and you don't wanna a marry a woman that you find physically repulsive. For months i've been wondering if she could be the one. Asking God, if that's His will. I would finally have the woman of my life and the perfect help and joy like the Bible says in genesis and proverbs 18:22.
Unfortunately, evidence is telling me otherwise. I never had a girlfriend in my entire life which can be cringeworthy to many. All the girls that have turned me down, did it the same way. By suddenly stopping to respond to my messages, telling me they have stuff to do in person when i invited them to go eat something". A few weeks ago, Amy seemed nice and now she seems distant again. I've been treating her nicely, being nice to her friends and making them laugh. I am not the most attractive guy, especially not with the Hollywood and media standards influence. I am fully aware that i don't meet those standards but i'm a very fit guy with great sense of humor, that does music and has shown chivalry towards women all his life. Somehow that is not enough for her to be polite enough to respond, none of my messages are invitations to go out so i don't see what she has to gain by not answering.
I always thought christian women were different until very recently as i never really been to big churches before. I feel they are exactly as the girls that never accepted Jesus as their Saviour. Despite being very attracted by Amy, i refuse to put all my eggs in the same basket and i try my best to connect with other girls from time to time. Unfortunately, they behave the same as the women of the world, especially when they are pretty. Also, if you talk to a girl, and she has a friend with her that suspects you're interested by your crush, she will behave exactly like the girls of the world by trying to make you feel uncomfortable and even pulling their more desirable friend out of the situation. That is sadly how it is.
At many occasions, i was talking with Amy, and some other girl she met two or three weeks ago, comes at us and cuts right into our conversation without aknowledging me, like it's no big deal. I also know there are at least 4 single guys at the moment that are trying to "score points" on Amy and I don't feel threatened at all even tho some of them broke into our conversation too. Let the best man have her. Right?
The church is mainly composed of Quebec French Canadians and minorities (mostly haitians) . I always had that prejudice towards french canadians, prejudice that holds true, especially now. They are in general classless when it comes to leaving a conversation for another one and they're amazingly cold when it comes to ignoring those they don't consider useful in a near future or at the moment. Sorry for this readers.
OnFinal Note..
I really like Amy, but she hasn't added me on facebook, she hasn't responded to a single message on her phone. I like to think she is just busy. I've been teached to never ignore people, that is disrespectful and as someone that has been ignored in high school for not being crazy popular i feel bad to just contemplate the thought of ignoring someone. I always respond to my messages, no matter who it is. For that reason only, i get frustrated when people do that. I know girls of the world are teached to treat men like they're feces and to don't aknowledge them, but i never expected this to be the case with most church girls. Amy is fairly attractive and she probably knows it. I am almost losing hope. She is pretty much the only girl i like, i have hard time meeting new people and i feel that i will never have her. I am very disappointed and i wonder sometimes if God really changes people in 2016.
What should i do? Has anyone experienced the same things? Does it sound like something you know?
Thoughts?
Thanks a lot, i'll never have the courage to say those things outside the internet. God bless!!!
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