Church a Burden?

[Starcrystal]

No, this is not an anti church topic!

I am just wondering if there are any others out there who find going to church a burden on their schedual? Or is my family the only one? (Can't be!)

I'm not saying that you don't enjoy church services or get involved. We do, when we go.
Recently we've been more regular because we found a church only 7 miles away as compared to the other one we went to before that was 23 miles on back roads (about 45 minutes one way).

Here's the issue: people work 5 -6 days a week. In our case my wife is gone 11 - 12 hours a day, and I work what hours I can cutting wood, building, and then taking care of our 11 month old while my wifes working. She is dog tired most of the time. So am I. Often I'll work on our land longer Saturday than weekdays because she's home with the baby. And sometimes neighbors want us to do things with them or go to some place. So there goes saturday.

Then Sunday comes. We're burnt out. But, have to get up by 8 AM, get ready, get baby ready, be out the door at 9:40 to be to Sunday school/bible study. Services go from 10 - 12, then that's the day we do laundry so are not home till 2. Then back to church for evening services. (5:30 - 7:30 PM). When we went to the church further away it was even more hours, especially when we rode with the neighbor who always went out to eat after church. Gone 9:30 Am till 4:00 PM. The day was shot.

Again, we enjoyed services but had no rest. And I am not one who believes you HAVE to be in church regularly to serve God. I'd like to but there is often little time. Or I'll go but Lisa stays home because she's too tired. The other day she almost fell asleep driving to work and caught herself almost going in a ditch. that's a concern.
But if she doesn't work there's no money. If I don't work on our land there's no wood for heat, the leaves and brush will pile up making a fire hazard, and our son won't have a room for his own, or a bathroom to potty train in the next 6 months when he'll probably start needing those things. the garden needs work or we won't be able to supplement some of our food. (Though that season is pretty much over now except tilling in compost for the winter and some fence repair that needs done.)

I'm sure if others experience the same things there might be different circumstances. But what it boiled down to is that church is the one thing at the end of the week that becomes burdensome - at least to get ready, get out the door, and just be away from the house for those hours.... even if we are blessed by the message or move of the Spirit while at church.
Wednesday night Bible study is out. I have no car to go, wife is at work during those hours, and neighbors go to the more distant church. I tried going with them once but it totally messed up my sons sleep schedual and he wailed for some time after we got home.

I know, the solution would be for God to change the earths rotation so that we have 30 hour days!
Or give us income oportunities like we had before where we can work from home and one of us does not have to wear themselves out driving to and from a job and working 8 hours.

Anyone else ever feel like going to church can be a burden?

 

[christianmomof3]

When going to church meetings feels like a burden I remember Romans 12:1 ...present your bodies a living sacrifice...
I am not sure if that is the correct application of that verse, but when I do present my body by going to a church meeting - even and probably especially when I don't feel like it - I am rewarded by the Lord with enjoyment of Him with His Body.
It can be difficult to work with a baby's schedule - been there, done that - mine are now 4, 7 and 13.
One couple in our church who have a 5 yo and 18 month old have just decided to trade off who will go to the Friday night home meeting and one of them will stay home with the baby because it is too difficult for them to bring him. I think that is a resonable solution for them.
When my younger two were babies, the home meetings were usually at our house, so it was easier to deal with the babies. There was also a very dear sister who met with us who loves babies and she took care of them the whole time for me - it was a pleasure for her and for me.
Anyway, just pray and give the situation to the Lord.
Satan will use your daily circumstances to try to prevent you from meeting with the church and even make it seem like a burden. Rebuke Satan and seek Christ and the church!
I will pray that you and your wife will be able to find a practical solution to be able to enjoy Christ with other saints.

 

[Wisdom's Child]

....then there are those who are scheduled to work on Sundays.
And it is not economically feasable to change jobs.
Must we be forced to choose between attending Sunday services and being able to financially support our family?

 

[Starcrystal]

Yeah, we DO end up enjoying it and being blessed once we do get there. I think the "burden" part comes mainly when we are getting ready. For instance last Sunday my wife just couldn't get going in time for the Bible study hour so we only made it for the regular preaching & singing (which it ended up being all singing and no preaching but a huge altar response plus the attendance was highest ever at 56.)
Sunday night wife & baby stayed home. I personally missed bible study because I often participate and give feedback. It's interactive where most members in attendance share, unlike those studies where the "teacher" just talks down at you and gives very little space for other input.

I think also that finding the closer church has helped because with the other one we never even went on a weekly basis regularly.

Anyways, once we do go and after the service we feel glad we went. the burden part seems to be before, but that's when it can prevent one or both from going.

By the way our church has a cry room if babies fuss, plus the pastor recently said how often children get fussy just when God moves in a message so his solution is to talk at a volume above the children. Much better than some churches I was in years ago where the pastor would feel interupted and tell a mom to remove a crying child from the sanctuary because it disrupting the message!

 

[Krysstian]

Honestly, I love my church and some days I do not even have a way to go. I know God appreciates the effort and I believe its symbolizes to show God no matter what we want to do, we will be faithful! When I don't go to church I make church at home. Do praise and worship, pray, and read His word. I give my tithes faithfully and I don't really give them to the church.

God wants us to rest. I dont like to do anything on my days off. Don't let this bother you because God knows your heart.

 

[fratz]

there are no non-denominational churches where i am. i would have to travel 30 min. or more to get to one. my work schedule also interferes. i have found some websites that offer audio sermons and i utilize several devotional sites. along with reading scripture. at least this way i can work it into my schedule as opposed to not getting it at all.

 

[fratz]

Honestly, I love my church and some days I do not even have a way to go. I know God appreciates the effort and I believe its symbolizes to show God no matter what we want to do, we will be faithful! When I don't go to church I make church at home. Do praise and worship, pray, and read His word. I give my tithes faithfully and I don't really give them to the church.

God wants us to rest. I dont like to do anything on my days off. Don't let this bother you because God knows your heart.

i have several praise & worship cd's & some hymnal & gospel cd's so i sing too.

 

[Elesaid]

We felt that way too sometimes when our church was half an hour drive away and we have 3 kids. WE moved to a church that is 10 mins away and it is such a joy now. There was also the factor that I was burnt out doing a ministry that I didn't really want to be doing with leader's that didn't listen to me when I told them how I was feeling.

From reading your first post, I'd say that you probably have too much on. You could stop going to the night service and that would give you guys an afternoon and evening together each week. I'm not sure how US churches are run because in Australia, we don't have the Bible study thing before church. We go straight to a praise and sermon meeting that goes for roughly 2 hours. You could think about skipping the Bible study too, but maybe not because you enjoy it so much.

There sounds like there is some options here that you could play around with. Maybe pray and see where God is leading?

 

[Amisk]

Church is one of the easiest things to get pushed out of our lives. It is also very easy to allow other things to become more important than our times with God.

Yes, it is sometimes a struggle to fit all of this life's responsibility into a week, and sometimes our employers force us to work at times which conflict with our duty to God. According to the scriptures it is a sin on the part of our employer to make his employees to work on the Sabbath. (that is not to say that there are not emergencies which demand that we work or jobs which are essential to working on the Sabbath. There are such times.)

However, we need to make changes in our lives in which we are not to busy for to go to the house of God on Sunday. Christians who find themselves to busy to attend church usually so drift away and loose out spiritually. I guess that is why Paul warns us, "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Heb. 10-25

I am reminded of a little story that I heard sometime ago and have often repeated since.

A elder gentleman had a problem at his church and so he stopped attending. The pastor dropped by one afternoon and found the old gent sitting in his rocker in front of a burning fireplace.

Without a word the pastor walked over to the fireplace and taking the tongs he lifted one live burning coal from the fire and placed it on the hearth before taking a chair near by. He said nothing about the coal during the conversation that followed.

As he and the elderly gent. talked they watched the coal as the flame died out, the coal turned from red to blue and then smoldered down to a purple colour and on to black. Nothing was said as the fire in the coal appeared to have died.

Just before the pastor read a verse or two from the Bible and said a prayer before leaving, he once more returned to the fireplace. Taking the tongs he lifted the coal into the midst of the burning embers. Then he read the passage of scriptures, offered the departing prayer.
As all this had gone on the two watched the coal begin to send up a blue flame once more. The blue flame gave way to a health red and yellow flame.

The pastor stood up and started for the door. The old man followed and as the pastor reached for the door knob, the old gent. addressed his pastor once more. "Thanks for the object lesson, pastor."

I hope this helps.

 

[fratz]

Church is one of the easiest things to get pushed out of our lives. It is also very easy to allow other things to become more important than our times with God.

Yes, it is sometimes a struggle to fit all of this life's responsibility into a week, and sometimes our employers force us to work at times which conflict with our duty to God. According to the scriptures it is a sin on the part of our employer to make his employees to work on the Sabbath. (that is not to say that there are not emergencies which demand that we work or jobs which are essential to working on the Sabbath. There are such times.)

However, we need to make changes in our lives in which we are not to busy for to go to the house of God on Sunday. Christians who find themselves to busy to attend church usually so drift away and loose out spiritually. I guess that is why Paul warns us, "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Heb. 10-25

I am reminded of a little story that I heard sometime ago and have often repeated since.

A elder gentleman had a problem at his church and so he stopped attending. The pastor dropped by one afternoon and found the old gent sitting in his rocker in front of a burning fireplace.

Without a word the pastor walked over to the fireplace and taking the tongs he lifted one live burning coal from the fire and placed it on the hearth before taking a chair near by. He said nothing about the coal during the conversation that followed.

As he and the elderly gent. talked they watched the coal as the flame died out, the coal turned from red to blue and then smoldered down to a purple colour and on to black. Nothing was said as the fire in the coal appeared to have died.

Just before the pastor read a verse or two from the Bible and said a prayer before leaving, he once more returned to the fireplace. Taking the tongs he lifted the coal into the midst of the burning embers. Then he read the passage of scriptures, offered the departing prayer.
As all this had gone on the two watched the coal begin to send up a blue flame once more. The blue flame gave way to a health red and yellow flame.

The pastor stood up and started for the door. The old man followed and as the pastor reached for the door knob, the old gent. addressed his pastor once more. "Thanks for the object lesson, pastor."

I hope this helps.

well when it comes down to either putting food on the table or living on welfare...i'm not going to go to church if i can study at home on my own. the problem is that some of us work in places that can't just shut down on sunday's. someone has to be there to take care of folks that are in hospitals...nursing homes...mental facilities...etc. these are places that never close. they are operating 365 days a year & they have to have staff. if i had made the request on the application to not work on sunday's because of religious beliefs i wouldn't have a job right now. or anything else. so where do we draw the line? if i was unemployed & homeless right now...i doubt seriously i'd be allowed to set foot in a church. you know?

[edit] i would also like to say that i would rather study at home when i can as opposed to not being fed at all. that would be worse yet. i also don't feel as though i'm loosing out spiritually at all. thanks for the post though.

 

[christianmomof3]

well when it comes down to either putting food on the table or living on welfare...i'm not going to go to church if i can study at home on my own. the problem is that some of us work in places that can't just shut down on sunday's. someone has to be there to take care of folks that are in hospitals...nursing homes...mental facilities...etc. these are places that never close. they are operating 365 days a year & they have to have staff. if i had made the request on the application to not work on sunday's because of religious beliefs i wouldn't have a job right now. or anything else. so where do we draw the line? if i was unemployed & homeless right now...i doubt seriously i'd be allowed to set foot in a church. you know?

[edit] i would also like to say that i would rather study at home when i can as opposed to not being fed at all. that would be worse yet. i also don't feel as though i'm loosing out spiritually at all. thanks for the post though.

The church is the Body of Christ. It is not just a Sunday morning service. If you really have to work on Sunday mornings and can't do anything about it, then find a church that has meetings at other times. Our church has lots of home group meetings and there is probably one available any evening of the week and we also have some during the day during the week for people who are available at those times. My husband used to have a job that had him working Sunday morings for 6 months of the year. But he still met with the church at other times. You don't have to go to a Sunday morning meeting, but you should try to enjoy Christ together with other Christians gathered together in His name whenever you can. Pray and ask the Lord to help you to find a time and a way to meet with other Christians. He will honor such a request.

 

[fratz]

The church is the Body of Christ. It is not just a Sunday morning service. If you really have to work on Sunday mornings and can't do anything about it, then find a church that has meetings at other times. Our church has lots of home group meetings and there is probably one available any evening of the week and we also have some during the day during the week for people who are available at those times. My husband used to have a job that had him working Sunday morings for 6 months of the year. But he still met with the church at other times. You don't have to go to a Sunday morning meeting, but you should try to enjoy Christ together with other Christians gathered together in His name whenever you can. Pray and ask the Lord to help you to find a time and a way to meet with other Christians. He will honor such a request.

i work nearly 7 days a week. i live in a small community and there is only one church that has sat. service. i'm not a mennonite. i'd have to change denominations or move to another town.

 

[Nadiine]

Speaking for myself only, I can think of 2 types of reasons when church becomes a 'burden'... when I'm not walking as closely with Him personally and when we felt the Pastor's teaching wasn't feeding us both or had taken an unfavorable path.
(we've been in evangelistic type churches where meat wasn't being given - but more of the same message we already knew & heard each week... Pastors that started watering down & even apologizing for preaching some verses that sounded "harsher", etc.).
It wasn't often, but we have 'dried up' under a few pastors (ps. we had also moved many times and had to find a new church which isn't easy).
But during the process of slowly needing another Pastor, yes, there's that burden that creeps in of not wanting to go.

I also don't think that you need any "excuses" of working too much to feel church becoming a burden; it can happen when you're not busy at all.

I believe church is ESSENTIAL in the Christian life. We need to have a home church and be in the presence of others in the family of God for many many reasons I won't list here.
However, I do not believe that one MUST be obligated to be at church every time the doors open for service.
Especially when today there are so many other forms of learning/home worship - Tv, DVD, CD, Internet...

If you WANT to be active like that, wonderful, God bless you richly!! But oftentimes it's some extremely active followers who can get the judgmental attitude that EVERYONE must attend as often as they do or 'hold others accountable' when they notice they weren't in church the prior week - pushing guilt trips on them.
I've seen it, and I've had it happen to me. There's a fine line between accountability and legalism thru forced guilt.

Also, we cannot enforce OUR current 'spiritual highs' or levels of faith ONTO others who are not currently in the same level...
YOU may want to be at church 24/7, but it doesn't necessarily mean that Joe Blow who isn't up to your spiritual stature, doesn't Love the Lord or is in rebellion either - as if he has to 'come up' to where you are.
We need to be careful what we impose on others and WHY we impose it.

***AND SOMETIMES, WE NEED TO HUMBLY ACCEPT WHEN A BROTHER/SISTER HOLDS US ACCOUNTABLE to ask why we haven't been to church for 3 or 4+ weeks in a row!!
Keeping a soft, open spirit to accept when we need some chastening.

I think it's an individual spiritual issue. If one goes to church because one feels pressured & forced by other Christians, then the motive becomes the problem and it removes the JOY from it for the most part.
*(thinking of the principle of God loving a cheerful giver).

But most of the time when I find myself in a pattern of not wanting to get to church, (for me), it's usually when I'm struggling w/ an issue in my life and/or my walk isn't as close with the Lord.
In those times, I prefer home study/worship more frequently than church. I can't say why, just that's how I feel. (and oftentimes I'll force myself to get to church becuz I feel I NEED to be there).

Every genuine Christian goes thru spiritual dry times and struggles of all kinds - I think at some time or another in our walk, church attendance feels like a burden... the issue is if you go anyway or not.
And I don't think that if you skip a week or 2 that month, that it's going to KILL you spiritually.
In fact, not going can produce a dryness in you that can later propel you into feeling a strong desire for the Lord and snap back into spiritual shape (as you realize how much you love and need Him!!)

When I take issue is when people attack church attendance as if it's completely unecessary, unbiblical and/or unimportant.

Bottom line, we should be concerned for others spiritual conditions, but be equally careful that we aren't wrongly judging their condition by OUR personal view on how often we need to attend. We need to examine our inner motives and make sure they're PURE before the Lord.

 

[New_Wineskin]

No, this is not an anti church topic!

I am just wondering if there are any others out there who find going to church a burden on their schedual? Or is my family the only one? (Can't be!)

...

Anyone else ever feel like going to church can be a burden?

Absolutely . That is why I don't do that sort of thing , anymore . It is too ritualistic and too repetitive . The fact that people say that one *must* go automatically makes it a burden .

I like to spend time with the Lord . I can do that wherever and whenever I want . And , I can visit my siblings as our schedules permit .

 

[New_Wineskin]

God wants us to rest. I dont like to do anything on my days off. Don't let this bother you because God knows your heart.

 

[New_Wineskin]

well when it comes down to either putting food on the table or living on welfare...i'm not going to go to church if i can study at home on my own. the problem is that some of us work in places that can't just shut down on sunday's. someone has to be there to take care of folks that are in hospitals...nursing homes...mental facilities...etc. these are places that never close. they are operating 365 days a year & they have to have staff. if i had made the request on the application to not work on sunday's because of religious beliefs i wouldn't have a job right now. or anything else. so where do we draw the line? if i was unemployed & homeless right now...i doubt seriously i'd be allowed to set foot in a church. you know?

[edit] i would also like to say that i would rather study at home when i can as opposed to not being fed at all. that would be worse yet. i also don't feel as though i'm loosing out spiritually at all. thanks for the post though.

Good points .

 

[christianmomof3]

i work nearly 7 days a week. i live in a small community and there is only one church that has sat. service. i'm not a mennonite. i'd have to change denominations or move to another town.

I am sorry that you have not found any Christians who you can enjoy the Lord with.
I pray that you can find someone else to enjoy the Lord with.

 

[Starcrystal]

Ok, there is a lot here now after the weekend! So I will try to reply to what I can.
First of all I expected Hebrews 10:25 about not forsking the assembling of ourselves together to pop up here. By the way Paul didn't write that, though some feel he wrote Hebrews it is out of synch with his other letters.
Anyways, that verse has been used by so many pastors to put a guilt trip on people to go to church and it has absolutely nothing to do with gathering in a church (though by default it can apply). What it has to do with is assembling with other believers as opposed to being unequally yoked with unbelievers. In other words it can applies to who you hang out with & fellowship with both in and out of church. It also has to do with private meetings, home bible studies, home gatherings, outdoor meetings with others in fields, at parks, anywhere! And neither does it have to do with large congeregations as church... Jesus said where 2 or more are gathered in his name he is there.

Ok, I do not think just because church attendance feels like a burden that a person is not right with God. In fact it's not that church itself is a burden because as I've explained when we get there we are blessed. It's mainly getting out the door and has everything to do with my wife being exhausted, that we heat by wood and have to get up 2 -3 times a night to load the wood stove, that our 11 month old requires feeding & diaper changes and preparation of diaper bag, formula, food, etc. Babies are WORK.
I agree with Kristian that God wants us to rest and in fact did set aside a day of rest (Though it was Saturday, not Sunday.) I know from experience that working nonstop 7 days a week will burn you out quick. God isn't stupid - there was a REASON he designed a day of rest!
Finding other churches, yes we already explained we did start attending a church that's 7 miles away as opposed to 23 miles. We do attend this one regularly. My wife will stay home for evening service and I will go. That's no big deal. And she is fine during and after service.

Cutting out things we don't need in order to make time for God. Good suggestion, but unreasonable. Unless someone gives my wife a job in town at comparable wages. All the jobs in town were 5.15 - 6 an hour and mostly part time. Does God want us to spiral into poverty worse than we already are? I would love to regain some sort of internet income like I had last year and up till June, but while we did make money enough to move and initially build, we were ripped off almost $12,000 this year which severely set us back. So one of us working is a necessity, unless God sends us some substantial finances.

Secondly, my duties are all necessary. I have to cut wood. I have to feed the animals, I have to be working on the addition to our cabin. I have to keep the place warm in the cold weather which requires loading the wood stove. I have to make water runs since we have no running water. In summer the garden needed tending regularly, now in fall it's time to rake leaves and burn them. I may not work a paying job but I work full time usually 7 days a week. Yes, even yesterday between church services I worked for about 3 hours building an enclosure and place for shelving behind the cabin.

Here's the side of our place. that stone walled enclosure is nearly finished now, but I'll tell you, collecting stones and carrying them by hand, or from down the road in the car is hard work. I've been at this for at least 2 months and it's only 1 out of several projects I have going on.

As you also see we live in the woods and maintaining 8 acres of land is work. Now some might say we chose this life and they would be right. I'd much rather own land that is paid for and have my privacy than to worry about coming up with a monthly rent which sometimes we could not afford. We also had anticipated on having most everything done and the loss of 12,000 this year put a lot on hold. that is why I am using stone and natural (free) materials instead of buying building materials - because it's all we could afford.

As for church... we can worship God in our woods. We can fellowship with our neighbors where I used to lead a bible study wednesday nights, so that was church. They stopped when gas prices went down and they started going back to the 23 mile away church. But we are making at least 1 service on Sunday.

I also agree with those who say it is important to fellowship with other believers. And we do that.

I just hope that the burdensome feelings & presure do not afflict us on Sunday morning. It's just terrible when one or both of us dreads having to get ready to go out the door, even if we enjoy everything once we get there.

 

[Paddington]

I used to find church a bit of a burden in that I felt I HAD to go every week. I've been going with my parents since I was born and never felt like I had a choice. It was never that I wanted to stop going to church, but if there was a week where I didn't really want to go, my parents would be upset/cross/whatever and I just started to accept it as something we did on a Sunday rather than think about why *I* was going. Recently I've found another church that I really look forward to and it's completely changed my view of church. Now I actually wish there were more services I could go to during the week!

 

[Nadiine]

First of all I expected Hebrews 10:25 about not forsking the assembling of ourselves together to pop up here. By the way Paul didn't write that, though some feel he wrote Hebrews it is out of synch with his other letters.
Anyways, that verse has been used by so many pastors to put a guilt trip on people to go to church and it has absolutely nothing to do with gathering in a church (though by default it can apply). What it has to do with is assembling with other believers as opposed to being unequally yoked with unbelievers.

To the OP & new reply:
Um,.. it seems to me like you already have your mind made up and have studied the subject already?

Since your OP said you weren't "anti church", I didn't bother w/ the Hebrews 10 verse on gathering... I'm sure that's why most haven't quoted it here in response. You said it was about feeling a burden about attending sometimes, not arguing if it's biblical or not.

But I don't agree with your study findings regarding 'not forsaking the assembling of yourselves'.

And I strongly object to you adding to Pastor's motives by claiming they're trying to push guilt trips on people to get them to go to church by preaching that.
You cannot KNOW their motive unless you can read hearts (which we know only God can do). So I think that was a rather biased and judgmental claim you made.

I disagree about your intepretation of Hebrews namely becuz we have so many direct examples of formal church gathering for God's people in the Old and New Testaments both. It was common practice as was giving offerings/alms.

IF we had no direct examples of regular gathering AT established places (temples, homes, buildings etc), then I'd be more apt to accept some of your statements made on Hebrews.

Additionally, whether or not Paul wrote Hebrews really isn't the issue - it is canonized scripture and we as Christians adhere to it as the inspired truth of God.

I'm just kinda wondering why you had asked opinions if you already seem to 'know' all answers? Maybe just curious i dunno..

And, lastly, yes I think not wanting to bother going to church CAN be a direct link to our spiritual condition or attitude towards God. (My relatives just recently admitted this very thing to be the case for them over the past 15 years as well and are now regularly attending a local church willfully).
I won't judge anyone on it, or claim it's true for every person, but I have seen the patterns and have experienced it myself which is why I stand by my claim regarding it.

Whatever the case, God is our judge and since I'm responsible for myself, I'll live as I feel led & convicted by Him in my own life. =)