Chronological Jesus

[Pagan]

Jesus' story begins at John 1:1-5, rather poetically, I think.

Or one could paraphrase it like this:

In the beginning
The Word, with God, made all things.
Light of all mankind

Light shines in darkness.
Darkness has not overcome.
In the beginning.

 

[Pagan]

John's Birth, Chapter 1

Zechariah and his wife, Elizabeth, had no children. Luke says, "Elizabeth was not able to conceive."

Initially, I would have said that blaming Elizabeth shows that Luke saw the world through a male-chauvinist lens. Since now I know that the Holy Spirit guided Luke's work, maybe I should give Luke the benefit of the doubt.

Gabriel, who might have been on his way to recite Quran to Muhammad, arrived and told Zechariah that he and Elizabeth would have a son, and they should name the son, John. The text does not say so, but I'm guessing that John becomes John the Baptizer.

Baptize means ritual cleansing. I must have been something that Jews did. An archaeological site, Qumran, near the dead sea has big bath tubs, which might have been used for ritual cleansing.

Six months later, Gabriel, possibly still intending to visit Muhammad some six hundred years later, talked to Mary. He told her that she will have a son, and that she should name him Jesus

When John grew up, he lived in the wilderness.

Luke 1:5-80

 

[Pagan]

Mary Pregnant Chapter 2

Mary became pregnant, much to Joseph's surprise. An angel (the text doesn't say which one) tells Joseph not to be "afraid to take Mary home as [his] wife because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

Matthew 1:18-24

Gods having offspring like Hercules, Theseus. or Achilles must have been a common idea in the first century.

 

[Wgw]

Jesus' story begins at John 1:1-5, rather poetically, I think.

Or one could paraphrase it like this:

In the beginning
The Word, with God, made all things.
Light of all mankind

Light shines in darkness.
Darkness has not overcome.
In the beginning.

Or how about we not paraphrase it, and thus avoid incurring guilt for preaching another Gospel? (Galatians 1:8)

Chapter 1

The Jesus Story begins in the Gospel of Luke.

Zechariah and his wife, Elizabeth, have no children. Luke says, "Elizabeth was not able to conceive."

Initially, I would have said that blaming Elizabeth shows that Luke sees the world through a male-chauvinist lens. Since now I know that the Holy Spirit guided Luke's work, maybe I should give Luke the benefit of the doubt.

Gabriel, who might have been on his way to recite Quran to Muhammad,

St. Gabriel did not recite the Quran to Muhammed. The suggestion is frankly blasphemous.

arrived and told Zechariah that he and Elizabeth would have a son, and they should name the son, John. The text does not say so, but I'm guessing that John becomes John the Baptizer.

I think that Baptize could mean ritual cleansing.

Ya think?

I must have been something that Jews did.
An archaeological site, Qumran, near the dead sea has big bath tubs, which might have been used for ritual cleansing.

Google "Mikvah."

Six months later, Gabriel, possibly still intending to visit Muhammad some six hundred years later, talks to Mary. He tells her that she will have a son, and that she should name him Jesus

When John grew up, he lived in the wilderness.

Luke 1:5-80

Muhammed was a false prophet, who either falsely claimed to have received inspiration from "Jibreel" (he had been catechized by a Nestorian or Arian monk in his youth), or else was visited by a demon. St. Gabriel would not reveal aomething so inherently contrary to the Gospel. Although if he did, which he surely did not, we would be compelled to anathematize it and him under Galatians 1:8.

Mary Pregnant Chapter 2

Mary became pregnant, much to Joseph's surprise. An angel (the text doesn't say which one) tells Joseph not to be "afraid to take Mary home as [his] wife because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

Matthew 1:18-24

Gods having offspring like Hercules, Theseus. or Achilles must have been a common idea in the first century.

There are no pagan accounts of God becoming incarnate as a man, dying, and resurrecting. Remember, Jesus Christ is not just the only begotten Son of God, but God Himself.

 

[Pagan]

Thank you Mr Wgw, for the interesting information.

May I ask about paraphrasing and rewriting? At least once a year, someone presents a version of the Gospels as a movie or a television show. Do they rewrite the Gospels?

 

[Pagan]

Mr Wgw

About Gabriel. If I said something rude, I apologize. I meant no disrespect. May I ask about St Gabriel? Does that mean Saint Gabriel? Luke says the Angel Gabriel. Can angels become saints?

May I ask also about Gabriel. As a basic idea of Islam, Muslims believe that Gabriel recited Quran to Muhammad. Do Muslims blaspheme daily because of this belief?

 

[Pagan]

Mr Wgw

About resurrection. In my particular brand of Pagan Religion, people resurrect. I suppose that is not the same as a god resurrecting. I have never seen it happen, but my mother said that shamans could use an herb to make people appear to be dead, and their relatives would bury them while still alive.

 

[Pagan]

Birth of Jesus Chapter 3

Caesar Augustus, the Roman Emperor, ordered a census of the Roman world. This must provide a date for when Jesus walked on Earth.

Joseph and Mary went from Nazareth, where they lived, to Bethlehem, possibly their legal home, so the Romans could count them. While in Bethlehem, Mary gave birth to Jesus.

Since my granddaughter began arranging this information, I have learned that Jesus lived in Galilee where Galileans practiced a Judaism somehow less Jewish than that in Jerusalem. Also, somehow Samaritans occupied a social status even lower than Galileans. Years ago, I had a barber who claimed Samaritan ancestry. The other barbers in the shop claimed Jewish and Chaldean ancestry.

Luke 2:1-21

 

[Wgw]

Thank you Mr Wgw, for the interesting information.

May I ask about paraphrasing and rewriting? At least once a year, someone presents a version of the Gospels as a movie or a television show. Do they rewrite the Gospels?

On many pccasions, they distort the Gospel of our Lord or present another Gospel in itsmplace, amd should thus be rejected under Galatians 1:8.

 

[Pagan]

On many pccasions, they distort the Gospel of our Lord or present another Gospel in itsmplace, amd should thus be rejected under Galatians 1:8.

My granddaughter has a children's Bible, Mi Primera Biblia. Maybe it could fail the Galatians test. Maybe the simple fact of translation might fail the Galatians test. Who decides?

 

[Pagan]

The Magi Visit Jesus, Chapter 4

After Jesus' birth, three magi came looking for him. They met with King Herod, who told them “Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

The magicians found Jesus, and they went home without telling Herod.

An angel told Joseph that Herod wanted to kill Jesus. I think maybe Herod had read Machiavelli. Joseph took Jesus to Egypt until after Herod died.

Since I first read this I have learned about various Magi traditions mostly from my grandaughter. In her seventh grade history class they read about Marco Polo. His book has information about one tradition in which three magi came to visit Jesus.

She also studied antisemitism, which included information about John Chrysostom, bishop of Constantinople 400 CE; who said that after the resurrection of Jesus, Thomas the Apostle went to visit the Magi and baptized them.

Matthew 2:1-17

 

[Tiny Bible]

Mary Pregnant Chapter 2

Mary became pregnant, much to Joseph's surprise. An angel (the text doesn't say which one) tells Joseph not to be "afraid to take Mary home as [his] wife because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

Matthew 1:18-24

Gods having offspring like Hercules, Theseus. or Achilles must have been a common idea in the first century.

Must have been.
You're pagan and you're trying to proselytize paganism and pre-Christian deity to us on a Christians only board?

Now that's faith brother!

 

[Pagan]

Must have been.
You're pagan and you're trying to proselytize paganism and pre-Christian deity to us on a Christians only board?

Now that's faith brother!

No, I don't want people to become pagans. My daughter has decided that her family should become Christian, so I am here to learn about Christianity. A friend said I should read the Gospel of John. I noticed that John did not begin at the beginning, so I decided to include the other Gospels after my granddaughter tried to arrange the events chronologically.

I did mention a pre-Christian deity, but not because I want to promote Greek or Roman paganism. I just noticed that Hercules and Jesus both had human and immortal natures. Deities being part human and part immortal had happened before Jesus. It is something that would have appeared normal to an ancient audience.

Also, my paganism comes from West Africa, not Greece or Rome; and I don't recommend it to anyone.

 

[Pagan]

Jesus as a Child, Chapter 5

Joseph and Mary took Jesus to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord. They met a righteous and devout man called Simeon. The Holy Spirit had revealed to him that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. When the parents brought Jesus to the temple, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God.

A prophet, Anna, came to them. She gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who looked forward to the redemption of Jerusalem. And Anna, being a prophet, I naturally wonder if she reads the Form.

Joseph and Mary returned to Nazareth in Galilee.

During Passover when Jesus was twelve, he went to the temple courts in Jerusalem. He talked to the priests, and he impressed them with his knowledge.

Interesting that even God may act like a bratty kid.

Luke 2:22-52

 

[Pagan]

The Ritual Cleanser, Chapter 6

John preached to people in the wilderness about “the one more powerful”, and he ritually cleansed people for the forgiveness of sin. He debated with Pharisees, Sadducees, tax collectors, and soldiers, which may represent political factions in Palestine at the time.

He said, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.” Or if sharing becomes a drag, tell Bernie Sanders to take from Wall Street and give to Tobacco Road.

He said about the one more powerful, “… he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.” For from thence “comes the lightning, the dazzling flame, which at times consumes the man it strikes,”

Pagan and Christian images so often sound alike.

Mark 1:1-8, Matthew 3:1-12, Luke 3:1-18, John 1:6-28, Clouds by Aristophanes

 

[Pagan]

Jesus Ritually Cleansed, Chapter 7

Jesus went to the Jordan River at Bethany where John ritually cleansed people. John ritually cleansed Jesus. A dove, possibly inspired by the Holy Spirit, said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

When my granddaughter read this she said, “Cowabunga! Talking pigeons! Harry Potter's horned owl doesn't talk.” Of course the dove did not talk, but gods associated with animals must have been a common thing in the first century.

Mark 1:9-11, Matthew 3:13-17, Luke 3:21-22

 

[Pagan]

Jesus in the Wilderness, Chapter 8

After his ritual cleansing, Jesus went into the wilderness where he talked either with the devil or Satan depending on which Gospel provides the information.

Some of the Christians, whom I have recently known, have a sort of obsession with the devil, Satan, and the cosmology of how they interact in the universe. Christian saints, angels, and demons look to me very much like the pagan pantheon.

Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13

 

[Pagan]

John Testifies, Chapter 9

Jesus went to see John, again. The Bible doesn't say when they met, but it must have happened after Jesus returned from the wilderness, just as I have often returned from Santa Anita with Form in hand. One time we went to an MDA fundraiser. My daugher bet on Wild Killy. I thought Wild Killy might not get out of the barn, but Wild Kitty won.

At this second meeting, John the Ritual Cleanser continued to testify about Jesus.

John 1:29-34

 

[Pagan]

Disciples, Chapter 10

Jesus gained some disciples, at least one of which had been John's disciple. The list of names included Andrew, James, John, Nathanael, Peter, and Philip.. The stories in the different Gospels don’t align chronologically, so they may describe different events.

My Christian friends insist that Jesus and the Disciples were Jews. I wonder if they might have been Galileans, which might explain some of the animosity between Jesus and the Pharisees later in the story.

Nathanael asked about Jesus' residence or ethnicity when he asked, “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” That suggests that Galileans and Jews did not mix socially. It might also explained the negative use of the word, Jew, later in the story.

Johanan ben Zakai,an important Jewish sage in the era of the Second Temple, offers another example of discord between Galileans and Jews. According to Wikipedia, "... he found the attitude of Galileans to be objectionable, allegedly exclaiming that they hated the Torah ..."

Mark 1:16-20, Matthew 4:18-22, John 1:35-51

 

[Pagan]

A Wedding, Chapter 11

Jesus went to Galilee. He attended a wedding during which he turned water into wine. In my own brand of pagan religion I don’t know of any gods turning water to wine, but in Greek Mythology, Dionysus squeezed the first wine. Saint John must have written his Gospel with Greeks as a possible audience, so changing water into wine would have been a way to get their attention.

My Italian relatives turn water into wine, or so they claim. After they make wine with grapes, they add sugar and water to the leftovers.. The mixture produces a second barrel of wine.

My granddaughter has a favorite wine. “I wanna to go to Disneyland.”

John 2:1-12