Christmas Eve is getting close

[mrslisae]

Last year on Christmas Eve I lost my mother. She was a diabetic. My dad was trying to help her sit her up in the bed and she just fell back and died.

We all knew we were losing her. Nobody in my family was close but I tried real hard to know her in that final year. I don't regret a minute spent with her. I cooked her meals, cleaned her house, listened to her stories, bought her flowers, listened to her tell everyone how much those flowers meant to her, and forced myself to love her.

That last year was really nice. I wonder sometimes why it took her dying to show she loved me.

I guess thats just what she knew..

I could really use some support to get through this holiday..I have a 7yr old depending on her mommy to be happy this year. Its really hard though.

 

[Amin]

Hi buzymom,
I've been thru situations similar to this.
My mom died in June one day before her birthday.
Ya know, I'm not sure if there is anything one could say to make things easier.
You'll have your family to occupy
your mind, That will help.
I think I'd say, know before christmas eve gets here that when the time arrives, I'm going to feel sadness or anxiety about this time
and allow yourself to feel the
emotions that you have.
In preparing yourself to know you're going to feel something, helps it to not be as much of a shock when the time comes.
I don't know if anyone could say; Okay this is what you do and it'll help you.
You loved your mom, even more so in the last year, I would think you're bound to feel something.
Just remember feelings are like a river. They flow from one to another. Feelings will change and because they go from one feeling to another, it helps to be able to feel
those natural feelings.
That's always stuck with me, the way i feel now, isn't how i'm going to feel later.
I hope I've made some sense in this somewhere.
God Bless and keep you thru these times.
Chuck.

 

[mrslisae]

You made plenty sense. Thanks again!

My daughter has never believed in Santa..This year I think she's wanting some magic to make up for last year so since she's nearly 8, we're making this Christmas special (despite just going bankrupt last week and all)...We're going to do the whole Santa bit and do all the little traditions, etc....just anything to keep our minds occupied really..

What's worse is that my sister hated my mother for the things she did...She won't let it go..

I talked to her the other night and her words were so cold...What's worse is her daughter talks the same way about her grandmother...

I just couldn't live with the hatred so I chose to love her...

It really is hard though...So many unanswered questions

 

[Amin]

You made plenty sense. Thanks again!

My daughter has never believed in Santa..This year I think she's wanting some magic to make up for last year so since she's nearly 8, we're making this Christmas special (despite just going bankrupt last week and all)...We're going to do the whole Santa bit and do all the little traditions, etc....just anything to keep our minds occupied really..

What's worse is that my sister hated my mother for the things she did...She won't let it go..

I talked to her the other night and her words were so cold...What's worse is her daughter talks the same way about her grandmother...

I just couldn't live with the hatred so I chose to love her...

It really is hard though...So many unanswered questions

Hi,
I think that's nice you're doing that for your daughter.
Ya know, we can't control how others feel.
I think it's right that you chose to love your mother. You'll never regret that.
I think that sometimes unanswered questions are hard to live with, and maybe you'll never find those answers,
but be assured that you will get to know
the answers someday.
You're being a very strong person doing what you are thru all this.
I pray that God continue to strengthen you that you may find some peace and resolution.
God Bless You.
Chuck.

 

[mrslisae]

I'm so tired of being strong

 

[Amin]

It can make you very tired.
Maybe it's time to relax in Gods' arms and let Him be your strength.
Take time to do that so you don't wear yourself out. K?
Chuck.

 

[mrslisae]

If I relax now, I'll fall apart..or worse yet, the phone will ring with more bad news..

 

[Amin]

Hi,
Do me a favor, at some time, find some time to take care of yourself.
I'm going to be continuing to pray for you.
If you ever need to talk you can PM me, even to just vent your feelings.
Take Care.
Chuck.

 

[angelkiss]

I don't think there's anything for me to say for it's pretty much already been said.
Praying that God will comfort you and carry you through this.
's and es!!

 

[mrslisae]

Thankyou Angelkiss...I know He will..thankyou

 

[angelkiss]

Thankyou Angelkiss...I know He will..thankyou

Anytime Feel free to pm me if you wanna talk.
God Bless!
's and es!!

 

[mrslisae]

I will..Thanks

 

[jsimms615]

Last year on Christmas Eve I lost my mother. She was a diabetic. My dad was trying to help her sit her up in the bed and she just fell back and died.

We all knew we were losing her. Nobody in my family was close but I tried real hard to know her in that final year. I don't regret a minute spent with her. I cooked her meals, cleaned her house, listened to her stories, bought her flowers, listened to her tell everyone how much those flowers meant to her, and forced myself to love her.

That last year was really nice. I wonder sometimes why it took her dying to show she loved me.

I guess thats just what she knew..

I could really use some support to get through this holiday..I have a 7yr old depending on her mommy to be happy this year. Its really hard though.

It seems your not only grieving the loss of your mother, but also grieving because of the time that was wasted in not being close before she got sick?
I'm sorry that it took that, but at least you had the time you did.
I'll be praying for you.
J