Christians and Depression

[redblue22]

Have you ever told Christians about having depression?

Have any of them ever treated you bad because of your depression?

tell your story.

 

[derek W L]

edit

 

[chaoticfirefly]

yes. and varies.

A pastor flat out said I was going to hell. He even preached it from the pulpit. His daughter attempted suicide a few times, nearly suceeded once and then one last attempt and now she's dead. Welp.

Otherwise it's usually, "It's cause you're an athiest" or "Have you really TRIED praying?" or "I'm sorry I don't know what you're going through but you're in my prayers" (I appreciate the last one)

Or I get full support.

But I don't go around announcing I have depression. It's if I have to tell them (because they don't see/hear from me for days and I apologize by saying that I'm too sad to do stuff) I get different responses.

 

[Criada]

I've had a lot of different reactions as well, from support and understanding to 'if you were a real Christian you wouldn't be depressed' ; 'you don't have enough faith' and 'You must be harbouring sin in your life'.
And then there are the ones who want to 'cast out the spirit of depression' : sigh:

I do think that things are getting better though, and a lot more Christians are beginning to understand mental health issues and realise that it's an illness like any other.

 

[com7fy8]

I have been a loner loser sort of a sinner. So, when I have gotten depressed and suicidal, I have not gone to anyone, but I would stew about what I would do so no one would know where I went. But God, I experienced, exposed me to how His love could effect me . . . in seconds making it all go away and I was encouraged. It was like I got a shot of immunity. And then the negative and nasty sin-sick stuff had a harder time getting to me, the next time. Another "shot" pretty much ended it.

And the Bible says, "and be renewed in the spirit of your mind." (Ephesians 4:23) So, I understand it is a spiritual battle thing.

 

[com7fy8]

A pastor flat out said I was going to hell. He even preached it from the pulpit. His daughter attempted suicide a few times, nearly suceeded once and then one last attempt and now she's dead. Welp.

I'm not saying you are doing this, but there are people who can take one case like this and use it to represent anyone who preaches the gospel and includes hell in his or her preaching.

Certain people in depression are quite able to feed on negative thoughts and ignore what would help them; plus they can filter so they are pointing only at what uncompassionate people do, instead of finding who can really help them get cured by God. Also, depression can make us clever enough to criticize the ones who tell us what would help us; they, for example, may tell us how we need to be corrected, but we can spit that out and say their criticism is uncompassionate.

I, for example, have had a very into-myself personality. People would say so, and I would consider them to be rejecting me. And then I kept breaking down, more and more until I became suicidal. I could very cleverly throw out people who were telling me the truth, and feed on what I wanted to think.

Otherwise it's usually, "It's cause you're an athiest"

If you have pre-conclusions as an atheist, this can effect how you filter things, can't it?

or "Have you really TRIED praying?"

It "depends" on how I pray. If I'm nasty and making myself the judge of God . . . this "might" help me to keep filtering out what could help me. It's not exactly being humble. If I hold on to what has helped to feed me into depression, instead being "swift to hear" (James 1:19) for what I need to find out, how am I going to get what is better?

"I'm sorry I don't know what you're going through but you're in my prayers" (I appreciate the last one)

My opinion is we humans all have had the same basic problem; so yes we can understand each other from our own experience. But depression has its way of filtering this out and making us our own dictators of who can understand us and help us and who can't; and then, when people and methods under our dictatorship fail, this feeds the depression more.

I recommend listening to what someone says, and be open to how it could help . . . even if the person is not perfectly compassionate in how he or she said it > I have found, later, often enough, how ones have told me what I needed, but my filter kept it out while I was still being into myself.

You say you can be "sad" in depression, I think you mean; I'm more of a "mad" type in depression . . . aggressive so that suicide would be aggressive, in my case, I think. Others, I think, are trying to escape pain.

 

[com7fy8]

But God's love is stronger > "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4) "Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (Romans 5:5)

So, if we find ways to filter this out and if this is what would cure us . . . support is very limited, and the failure can feed the depression. Jesus understands us better than we can Even though He has never had sin, He understands us better than we do. So, going to people and expecting people to understand us is kind of limiting. And when ones do so fail, depression can feed on this.

So, I would not trust anything that is negative and nasty, but trust only how God's peace has us seeing things > "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

So, yes God's peace can cure and guard our hearts and minds . . . while we trust how His peace has us thinking and seeing things

It says, "Be anxious for nothing" > I see that if I let things have power over me (1 Corinthians 6:12, 2 Corinthians 6:12) to get me anxious, this then can help break me down into depression and its torment. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

So, yes, having "faith" and praying may not do this.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

That's an excellent topic. Many Christians mean well but don't understand, because they confuse the illness of depression with the mood of sadness. "I was depressed for a week when my hamster died." No, it doesn't work that way. Sorry about the loss of your furry little friend, but you were sad, not depressed.

A few years ago, on this very website, I recall receiving good advice from a member. He liked to tell people, when they tried to "help" with cheery pep talks, "I am not depressed. I have depression." Naturally they will be inclined to want to know the difference, and he can explain.

I have some problems sometimes with my church, but not on this issue. It's just that there are times when the members seem a little right-wing for my taste, but that's a whole different subject altogether. I can be thankful that they do understand depression, and don't judge. Many of us are on psychiatric medicine (I am no longer, but used to be) and can talk openly about our symptoms and relapses without being judged, or our problems being oversimplified with "Just turn it over to Jesus."

Contrast that with the mental health tech who was also a seminary student, who told me that if I were truly saved, Jesus would have healed me of depression, and I would no longer have a problem. He said that in the capacity of a staff member of the hospital where I was currently inpatient. Yes, I complained, and yes, he was sternly disciplined. For one thing, he was no longer allowed to be alone with patients and couldn't counsel them without another staff member present. I hope in the years since, that young man has learned something both as a mental health worker and as a minister. He goofed on both scores, there.

 

[miss-a]

Yes, I had talked to Christians who sadly had all the standard company lines about depression. But none of the company lines were helping. Then I was very blessed that the Christian ladies I told just as I was bottoming out, had had similar experiences and were actually used by God to encourage me to go ahead and try meds. I'd tried everything else, nutrition, exercise, and all the rest, including studying God's word. The problem was that the chemical imbalance was so prevelant that I couldn't take in the word. And as someone above mentioned, all I could do was take in the negative.

One of those negatives was my then pastor who preached from the pulpit that no one ever needed meds. This misguided belief coupled with my nature-girl tendency to avoid medications--and nearly killed me. The thoughts in my poor, mixed-up, serotonin-starved head that seemed to make the most sense, even though I didn't believe in committing suicide, were to start planning how I would do it. The ladies in my Bible study and another at a ministry I called were used by Jesus to save my life. A tiny half-dosage of medication was all it took. It has been the difference between night and day. My life is beginning to flourish.

I think my story illustrates in the long run how, sadly, some Christians know and make too many rules and judgements, and they have no idea how damaging and possiblly lethal those judgements can be. They know the rules and judgements more than they know the heart of our dear Lord Jesus. And that is sad for everyone.

BUT then there are the ladies like those I talked to. People who've really been through the fire tend to be a lot less judgmental. Let's thank God for them, and try to remember to forgive and pray for the others.

Prayers for you,
a

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Oh, how sad, that message from the pulpit. Would he have applied the same thinking to meds for obviously physical ailments such as heart disease or diabetes? Some do. I also heard a preacher say once that he didn't like the idea of "spending my tax dollars on rehab programs to cure alcoholics and drug addicts, when I know a Man who can heal 'em just like that!" His remark met thunderous applause, but it only shows that he and the congregation just don't understand. They don't understand the diseases....

And they don't understand God. Yes, the Lord is strong enough to "heal 'em just like that," but He often doesn't do it because He wants His child to grow stronger for the struggle. I can watch a child struggle and fall, learning to walk, or I can always push the child everywhere. I can watch that same child later struggle and fall learning to do math, ride a bicycle, make a living, or I can do the homework myself, forbid bike riding, and support that child the rest of his/her life. Which is better for the child in the long run?

 

[mimibeloved]

The bottom line is that people who have never experienced major depression have no clue how black the pit is and not even Christians can say anything meaningful unless they have been there. "Just pray." They don't know that you have been begging God for months and years. There is no hope, even when you read promises in the Bible, because your psyche cannot experience even a grain of it. I have told "Christians" that I'm struggling with depression and they ignored what I said.

 

[mimibeloved]

The pastors who preach foolishly about depression are the same ones who shout from the pulpit that malls are evil. I've heard it myself.

 

[dms1972]

First off there are christians that most certainly help me - Thankyou God. Second a few folks that I didn't know or ask (I generally don't ask people if they are christian) but who seemed to be of good-will have helped at times too.

People in a genuine episode of depression need care and love, not hell talk thats true. People also need sensitive help to differentiate grief and sadness from self-pity. Its not being cruel to help people do that. Its throwing them a life-line.

I could talk about the episode of walking around feeling perched fearfully between death and hell, and thinking it would never improve. What I needed was a christian and the Real Presence of Jesus with us both. People don't realise how difficult it can be to relax. The wonderful thing about christianity is that if you visit someone depressed, Jesus can be there and you can be there too. Not you trying to wreck your brain and think now what would Jesus do, but Jesus there with you both by His Spirit. It's very difficult to take the initiative and reach out in depression someone has to take that for a while.

 

[redblue22]

grief, sadness, self-pity, negativity, and the thing that makes matters worse?

I would like to hear an explanation.

.

 

[LoveHopeJoyPeace]

I don't believe any genuine Christian would give you advice out of spite. If someone says not to take medication and God can heal you its because they believe it and think that's the way to help you.

Be thankful for the advice and weigh it up with what the bible says.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I don't believe any genuine Christian would give you advice out of spite. If someone says not to take medication and God can heal you its because they believe it and think that's the way to help you.

Be thankful for the advice and weigh it up with what the bible says.

Okay see, unless the person has qualifications on giving the advice (gone to school for it and graduated), they shouldn't be giving that advice.

Their heart may be in the right place, and yeah, I appreciate that they're trying, but it's very dangerous advice. Please understand (anyone who doesn't understand the struggle): these medications are supposed to help. Sometimes they'll make a person like a zombie, sometimes the side effects will be bad. Like all medications, it can take awhile to find the right ones. And yeah, you may think god can help and there's no need for medications, but the doctor has the person on them for a very good reason.

Inside your brain there are three chemicals connected to neurotransmitters. These chemicals are known as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamin, they're supposed to help with giving you that happy feeling among a lot of other things. They're very important, but some people with depression lack one or more of these chemicals or even release too much. That's why they have depression, and medications help balance them out.

So while yeah, god could help, there's always: why not both your god and medications?

Because there will be people who will follow the suggestion, and sometimes, they don't make it alive. Even though, with meds, sometimes the person just doesn't make it out alive.

 

[dms1972]

"grief, sadness, self-pity, negativity, and the thing that makes matters worse?

I would like to hear an explanation."

And what makes you take this mammoth task upon yourself, to listen to everyones story? For you would have to listen to at least two sides to everyones story. In fact since some depressed folks have been round more than one helper, perhaps more than two sides. I think you don't understand depression very well.

Did you realise there are people on the site who care about others and want to help?

Did you realise depression doesn't always go away at the click of a bible verse?

By all means if people find it helpful to talk to you and tell you their story they should continue.

 

[dms1972]

Okay see, unless the person has qualifications on giving the advice (gone to school for it and graduated), they shouldn't be giving that advice.

Their heart may be in the right place, and yeah, I appreciate that they're trying, but it's very dangerous advice. Please understand (anyone who doesn't understand the struggle): these medications are supposed to help. Sometimes they'll make a person like a zombie, sometimes the side effects will be bad. Like all medications, it can take awhile to find the right ones. And yeah, you may think god can help and there's no need for medications, but the doctor has the person on them for a very good reason.

Inside your brain there are three chemicals connected to neurotransmitters. These chemicals are known as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamin, they're supposed to help with giving you that happy feeling among a lot of other things. They're very important, but some people with depression lack one or more of these chemicals or even release too much. That's why they have depression, and medications help balance them out.

So while yeah, god could help, there's always: why not both your god and medications?

Because there will be people who will follow the suggestion, and sometimes, they don't make it alive. Even though, with meds, sometimes the person just doesn't make it out alive.

I think this is a balanced reply. I'd like to add something though I haven't met a christian who said trust God and flush your meds away. Though I did hear of one person doing this but it was after their depression lifted in responce to prayer.

I agree it shouldn't be an either or : God or medicine - the mis-perception made by some is that the meds are "happy pills" that pump up one's happiness. That's not how they work at all as you point out - these neurotransmitters are important in the brain - sometimes one can't even pray they are so out of whack. The medications don't even work as simply as some think - as though an anti-depressant was these neurotransmitters in a capsule - a kind of top-up. They don't work like that - SSRIs are designed that your brain doesn't use up its resources so quickly - they are are not serotonin in a pill. You still have to take care of other things - eating properly - not letting stuff get on top of you day by day.


I have to get on with life in the circumstances that I am in, or give up. I make choices to keep going even in small ways rather than give up entirely.

I have noticed the benefit of others prayers - in regard to more peace of mind. I thank God for those and ask Him to return double the blessing to those who truly prayed His Will for me, or who stood in the gap.

Thanks

 

[redblue22]

dms,

that's a neat trick. you talk of how people need a lifeline to understand. so I ask. instead what I get in response is accusation.

.

 

[miss-a]

I should add that the pastor who gave such bad advice truly from his heart felt he was doing the right thing, protecting his flock from unnecessary drugs,in his opinion. And I agree that drugs ar often unnecessarily prescribed. Bu that doesn't mean no one ever need them. He meant well. He justwent too far. And that's forgivable.