Christian Relationships

[faithfulwarrior]

-Do not be unequally yoked-

To date/marry or not to date/marry. A non-Christian that is. The Bible clearly says that we should not be in fellowship with unbelievers.
What do YOU think? Should we, as Christians, date/marry those who aren't right with the Lord? What are your experiences in this?

†Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Christ Jesus†

 

[Sharky]

that verse about being unequally yokes can be confusing sometimes.

what it basically means is that you should not lower yourself down to their level. EG: if someone is on drugs or likes to mess around with the wrong people, don't do the same just to be his friend. THAT is what unequally yoked means.

If you marry an unbeleiver, don't leave him/her unless they wany to leave you.

I'm good friends with alot of unbelievers. Some, are quite intersted in Jesus. The thing i dont do is what they like doing which is not what we christians should do. Eg talking about getting laid etc.

There are some christians i know who are alot worse than some of my unbelieving friends.

No, it is not forbidden to marry an unbeliever or date an unbeliever. It's a good idea to try not to tho because of the problems that can arise. If they become a believer, then cool. If not, then don't leave them because of that.

 

[shout2thelord]

the main reason i would not consider goign out with an unbeleiver is because Jesus is the most important part of my life and an unbeleiver wouldnt understand that so wouldnt know the reason why i do things.
And when u marry and sleep together u become one flesh and so its important that your in unity. just my thougts cant think of any other scriptures at the min.

 

[Bevlina]

Oh yes. I do agree with that entirely Lou. It is so important for two people to share the same things in common within a marriage. This is what makes them friends as well as man and wife.
The 'unequally yoked' is true as sharky has explained. A marriage to a like minded person is a wonderful experience as well as a wonderful life Living. It's a happy life. As long as the other party treats you well even though they are christian. But for a christian to marry a practising muslim. No. I don't believe they are equally yoked.

 

[COMMANDO]

as for dating non-christians, i began dating my current girlfriend when she was not a christian, through our relationship and her seeing my behaviour meeting some of my friends from church she became a christian it wasnt a matter of dating 1 day then she was a christian but over aperiod of time.... she even started coming along to church and i didnt even have to ask her. so i guess what i am saying is that i dont seee the problem with it, as long as you keep the faith in God continue to do all we can to please him....

 

[Sharky]

It's basically what everyone said.

You can date and marry a non christian. That's no problem. In fact, the bible says you can never avoid non believers. I'll have to find that verse.

 

[lozzie]

12To the rest I say—I and not the Lord—that if any believer has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (1 Corinthians 7:12-13)

I know Paul is meaning people who have become believers after they are already married, but I think he's making a pretty valid point, and not just about marriage but also on the larger scale of people you associate with. I'd have to agree with what Sharky said about what unequally yoked means. I have non christian friends, I just dont necessarily do or talk about some of the things they do or consider important.

I would have no issues about dating a non christian if I really felt something for them, because I have seen people go out with Christians and become one themselves. However, having said that I would only ever marry a Christian. Coming from being the only christian in a family of 6, I will want someone I can share everything with!

 

[shout2thelord]

the only trouble is that sometimes people say they have become christians just to make the person they are with happy, also you have to deal with issues like, not having sex before marraige and not living together before your married. And I guess for me one of the things that really makes me like a guy is their passion for Jesus.

 

[faithfulwarrior]

Its a confusing topic..Most of the Christians I know and are close with don't believe in 'missionary dating' or in dating a non Christian at all..I do not believe in dating/courting marrying someone who isnt on the same path as you either, you would want a potential life time partner to be someone who you can share EVERYTHING with,pray with, and who can be the spiritual leader and help you grow in the Lord. Is a non-christian going to do that for you? No. In addition to that, we should do everything for the Lord. How can we glorify Him through being with someone who is against Him? If we aren't doing it for the Lord, then we are doing it for ourselves..
Although I do not believe in Christians dating non christians, this is sounding so hypocritical coming from me, as just recently I've gone against what I believe and gone out with a non-christian. My relationship with the Lord has not exactly been affected and the guy respects me totally,but it isn't the same and somehow I've always known its not the right thing to do.
Putting God first is the most important thing in my life, and I believe that means breaking up with my boyfriend, which has practically happened now, although it is still being discussed and explained to him.
Have I lost the plot or am I doing the right thing?
Godbless you all

†Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Christ Jesus†

 

[Macca]

Its a confusing topic..Most of the Christians I know and are close with don't believe in 'missionary dating' or in dating a non Christian at all..I do not believe in dating/courting marrying someone who isnt on the same path as you either, you would want a potential life time partner to be someone who you can share EVERYTHING with,pray with, and who can be the spiritual leader and help you grow in the Lord. Is a non-christian going to do that for you? No. In addition to that, we should do everything for the Lord. How can we glorify Him through being with someone who is against Him? If we aren't doing it for the Lord, then we are doing it for ourselves..
Although I do not believe in Christians dating non christians, this is sounding so hypocritical coming from me, as just recently I've gone against what I believe and gone out with a non-christian. My relationship with the Lord has not exactly been affected and the guy respects me totally,but it isn't the same and somehow I've always known its not the right thing to do.
Putting God first is the most important thing in my life, and I believe that means breaking up with my boyfriend, which has practically happened now, although it is still being discussed and explained to him.
Have I lost the plot or am I doing the right thing?
Godbless you all

†Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Christ Jesus†

My humble opinion is that if you can maintain the friendship, without leading him on, there is an opportunity to lead him to Christ. If he is not willing to be friends without anything more beware of his motives.
Keep praying for him, keep telling him how much Jesus loves him, how much God believes in him.
Macca.

 

[Blessed-one]

i know somebody who dated a non christian guy and told God if he did not became a christian she would not marry him.

They're married now.

 

[Kira Faye]

Hear me out here people. Ok I'm comming from the other side of this one, I date a good Anglican boy who come from a good christian family and yes we have disscussed our difference in religion. What did we come out with, it doesn't bother us. I don't see a problem with dating anyone out of my religion, ok he can't and wont join in on my ceremonies and I should hit him more for the stupid jokes (Say you see ghosts and u get branded for a life time ) Just cause u share different beliefs doesn't mean they aren't ur soul mate. It's up to u and ur partner to deicde wether it matters that much.... God through my knowledge wants you to be happy, and god knows all, trust in god and if ur heart says yes then their probably is a purpose dating that person

 

[Wolflily]

If you are a Christian and you put His will first, He will bring you the person He intends for you to spend your life with. (IF He intends for you to be married at all) Maybe that person isn't a Christian at the time you meet, but God could be leading that person to Himself and you will be an important catalyst for that step of faith.

Inevitably, Christians should marry Christians. I know a lot of Christians who are lifers paired with fairly young Christians and it amazes me how God uses both of the partners to teach each other about life, marriage, and most importantly, Himself. For a Christian to wed (which IS a lifelong commitment, despite the poor track record for divorces among Christians) a nonChristian is to be unequally yoked in the most intimate and important human relationship on earth. If ANY human pairing (ie: friendships, business partnerships, etc.) needs that Bible verse applied to it, it's marriage.

 

[Jaegang72]

Hello everyone,

I just want to make a few points on this interesting topic.

1) When we see verses like .. do not be unequally yoked , people think .... ' o man... God is out to make my life miserable' When one is so emotionally attached in a relationship, one cannot see why God would say something like that. I mean, it feels so good, so right.

The thing is actually God is tryng to protect you because he loves you. You think...This sounds like totally crazy... You love this guy.. He loves you. He aint no christian but hey never mind, I can evangelize to him. Maybe one day after we get married, he sees how well I treat him in Christ, then he will be won over.

Consider this please...
You are now married to non christian.
You have put God as your 1st love.

You want to go church on sunday with children. He wants to go 4 wheel drive with them. Tension.

You teach them at night that Jesus loves them and story of how God created people. He drops in , makes a joke about it and tells the kids about evolution. Hurt.

You feel that faith without deeds is dead. So you feel led to give some money to some poor people. He looks at that, clenches his jaw. You know he is totally not impressed with that. Uncertainty.

You went to evening church service and just had a great praise and worship . Really felt the joy of the Lord. You are bursting inside. You tell your spouse .. or should you? You do and he puts it down to emotional psychology. Disappointment.

2) All I just want to say is that sometimes nothing is what it seems. In the end, is our judgement or God's better?

There is a book titled Fit to be tied.... by Bill and Lynne Hybels. It is a really good book which helps understand the reality of marriage beyond the highs of courting.

Thanks for reading

dave

 

[Wolflily]

Amen, Dave! well said...

 

[marduke]

ah yes good post there Dave.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

-Do not be unequally yoked-

To date/marry or not to date/marry. A non-Christian that is. The Bible clearly says that we should not be in fellowship with unbelievers.
What do YOU think? Should we, as Christians, date/marry those who aren't right with the Lord? What are your experiences in this?

†Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Christ Jesus†

This is a hard one. I'm currently dating an atheist. Now, being a Catholic, it is not out and out forbidden for me to do this (the Church does celebrate marriages b/w Catholics and non-Christians in certain instances). The verse about being "unequally-yoked" in the Bible need not be applicable to romantic relationships- though it can certanly be used as an ideal. Normally, I do not touch non-Catholics w/ a ten foot pole. However, the guy I'm currently seeing is actually much more respectful of my beliefs than many Catholics I know (ironic, but true). He has never asked me to compromise any of my beliefs. He's also read my testimony in the Testimonies forum (it's about reaffiriming my Catholic beliefs, and it's quite heavy)! Is it right to date him? I think God will tell me this in time. If the answer is no, then I end things w/ him. For me, it's most important to have a partner who respects my beliefs, and since my bf is doing so ungrudgingly, then maybe he's worth a shot (I certainly thought so)!

 

[faithfulwarrior]

Dave- I loved your post! AMEN!

It's extremely hard to break things off with a non-christian or when your relationship is not right in the eyes of the Lord. That's why it's important to wait for what God says about it before you rush into a relationship that could be potentially painful. I am still stuggling to break things off with my boyfriend. I don't really feel that God is convicting me for being with him as such, but I dont feel that it's right for me to be dating someone who isn't on the same path as me, which is the path and way of God. I've been trying to end it,(reluctantly- i really care about him) for a while now and it never seems to work, but Gods way is the best way! Even though he respects me I'm looking at the larger picture, what if we get married? Its going to be a strain on our relationship, and eventually, children..As Dave pointed out.
I never thought I would end up being with a Non-Christian, as I've always been so strong against it.. How did i get myself into this mess? Its all in God's hands though, and they are the best hands for things to be in!Please pray for me.
Keep living for Him! Godbless.

 

[Mustaphile]

I'm going to have to agree with Dave's post too.

It may seem trivial now, but over time the stark contrast between world views becomes evident.

 

[mannmann]

Na - I'm gonna disagree on this one...

Hello everyone,
You want to go church on sunday with children. He wants to go 4 wheel drive with them. Tension.

This is not a specific christian problem, any time one of the couple has a specific interest this can/will happen-ALL relationships are about compromise, even christian/christian couples will have this issue from time to time!!

You teach them at night that Jesus loves them and story of how God created people. He drops in , makes a joke about it and tells the kids about evolution. Hurt.

Again, not just a christian/christian relationship thing - It never helps any kid learning if both parents are not consistant about teachings. Plus, isn't it important that kids grow up knowing both views? - OK, different thread topic...

You feel that faith without deeds is dead. So you feel led to give some money to some poor people. He looks at that, clenches his jaw. You know he is totally not impressed with that. Uncertainty.

eh? Dont really get this... - He should know what you're like and that a $ or 2 is not going to hurt his bank account, and make you feel a shed loads better! - I'd say its cheaper than buying you flowers...

You went to evening church service and just had a great praise and worship . Really felt the joy of the Lord. You are bursting inside. You tell your spouse .. or should you? You do and he puts it down to emotional psychology. Disappointment.

OK, this one I do get, but why are you with someone who puts you down on something that you are passionate about? - Again, this is not restricted to christian/christian relationships.

Basically. what I'm saying is that the issues raised here are ones of compromise and understanding that come up in any relationship - just with a christian slant to the situations.

ManN