christian relationship?

[LOVELYST]

hi again, it's me lovelyst with a new topic again, this is an interesting one though, it's about christian relationship?, what is the does and don't in a christian relationship or christian dating, please express all your criticism, I'am an open minded person

 

[drdeancrosby]

Actually the concept of dating is very foreign to the bible.The traditions hadn't been invented when the bible was written.Marriages were arranged.The problem is that our world has become throughly perverted,primarily with sex, so that most of what people do on dates gets them into contact with immorality or temptationPre-marital sex,or fornication as it's called in the bible,is a sin that condemns it's violaters to hell.It's far better to engage in what's called courtship which involves a non-physical relationship for those who are interested in finding an ideal marriage partner rather than just someone to go out with and having worldly "fun".In fact,the entire philosophy behind dating is hedonistic "fun".It seems to be in complete violation of the biblical warning that "he who loves the world,is an enemy of God"

 

[retooferab]

Have to say I agree with the good Dr. Dean on this one, Lovelyst!

 

[holo]

Lovelyst,
thanks for starting the topic.
I've been wondering about this: we're not supposed to lust after anyone but our spouse right? I guess that in itself rules out falling in love, since you just won't fall in love with someone you wouldn't want to have sex with. That's why a straight man won't fall in love with another man, or a child, or an 80-year old lady.
Anyway, let's say you're in love and in a relationship. You're still not supposed to lust after the poor girl/boy, since he/she isn't yet your spouse. But as soon as the rings are on, whoa, let the hormones fly!
To make it even worse, you can't have sex as a reason for getting married, since you then would be -that's right- lusting. Not that anyone would admit they'd like to marry for the sex though. But if you took away the sex part, I'm sure fewer (at least Christian) couples would marry.
I'm not trying to make fun of the Christian view on sex and marriage or anything, but this is how I've understood it to work. So the only really acceptable way I can see to get married, would be through parents' arrangements. Which is not the way it's done in the West, today.

 

[LOVELYST]

first of all, things are not the same anymore, everyone keeps forgetting what the real meaning of marriage or sex is, as a christian, there are rules and regulations, we have to obey God, to be honest, it's not easy dating in a christian relationship, but once you obey God, then it will be easier, remember we're still partly flesh, and yes we will fall into tempation, we have to pray alot asking for Gods guidance, me myself is facing those temptations daily, but I pray to God to keep me, ontil my he brings us together.

 

[lil_god_lova]

Hmmm i gotta few things to say.. some are discussion to do with the stuff mentioned and something is a querstion...
What do you mean does and don'ts?
I think it's just a do what god would feel happy with and don't do the wrong stuff.
and DO go fully after god Together.

Ok i think that dating and marriage has something to do with the sexual side of it all... but dating can have that fiully taken out of it and be awesome all the same.
ok i have a boyfriend, and one day we are going to be married, (in a few years aftrer uni), yes i somewhat lust after him at times. It's human nature to want that and it is not a sin to be tempted... it is a sin to be thiniking about it or acting on it however....
I believe you can have "fun" in dating relationships... it's awesome Fun also makes joy... the problem is in your defination of "fun"... Fun for me is, going for a walk with him on the riverbank, talking to him with no one around and just sharing stuff that i don't usually tlak about, fun is holding hands while worshipping at a concert, fun is praying together... Here is a do that i try to hold our relationship to. Be sweet together, be innocent together. Be god like together. it's my ideals anyways.

 

[SegaMorph]

Its true the bible doesn't say much about dating. The concept of dating didn't even excist. But there was the concept of some thing call betroval. Its when two people decide they like each other the parents get to gether and sign documents and figure what would be the best for the couple. Now the couple is in that discusion with the adults and there isn't much legal documents to be signed. Since it is in the Bible does that mean that we have to do that?
No

For most people I know that won't work. But there is a way to have a relationship the way God intended. No in the bible the subject isn't as plain as other subjects. But he did put down the way a women should act and that God want us to love each other.

Now I have to define Love. Love in a relationship isn't touching each other or kissing yes that is nice but that isn't smart with out the kind of love that puts the other person first. The best way to do that is when you come to a decition ask your self how is that going to help the other person or is my dressing the way I do going to make them lust? Love is doing whats best for the other person not your self.

Here is some basic rules that are good in a relationship any more questions I would ecourage you to message me or read 'I kissed dating good bye' and 'boy meets girl' by Joshua Harris. They are excelant books.

Rule 1
Set your own ruled based on what you believe the bible says and what would be most benificial for a marrage. Yes Marrage it might be a possibility and it is better to plan a little for it then totally throw the idea away
Rule 2
Tell people about it so that they can correct you if you start acting the way you aren't supposed to. You need others to keep you in line.
Rule 3
Relize and guard the wonder of sex and every thing about it. Sex is an amazing and wonderful thing God has given us to be used in marrage
Rule 4
Spend time with the other person alone and in groups. That way you can talk to the person one on one and know what the person is like with friends. They way they are with friends is what they are going to be like in real life.
Rule 5
Ask questions to your partner. Learn all you can. Face the facts and see if you could live with them
Rule 6
Get closer to God before and during you get closer to him. No matter how great it feels God should be first

 

[sarabeth86]

The whole dating thing can be very confusing...let's take examples from some other churchs and belief systems..in the LDS church a lot of the members don't allow their children date until their 16, and when they do date, they can't date one person more than once in their teenage life. With that reason, now I may be wrong, but this is what i think, I think they do so because they don't want their children to "fall in love" or what they think is love with one certain person too soon. Does that make sense? In my church, we encourage teenagers, like myself, to date other Christians. It's very hard to hold a relationship together when you're with someone that isn't your religion, for example, or someone that doesn't believe in what you do. I tried having a relationship with someone in the LDS religion, and it was difficult. His family wanted me to become a member in their church, and well, with the beliefs that I have, I couldn't..and it caused a big tear in our relationship...anywho, I think that if you date responsibly and you limit yourself, to an extent, you'll be fine. I think dating is just another lesson in life that everyone must learn. About sex and dating..I think sex is something that should be played around with. First, you shouldn't ever have sex with someone if you don't love them and they don't love you in return, a good wholesome love, one that'll last the rest of your life. Second, sex should never be used as a temptation...don't tempt others with your body or with sex in general. Sex before marriage is a sin in the bible and I believe so as well. Not only is it a sin, it can get a person, a couple, into so much trouble...and teenagers aren't ready for it! I just thought I'd put my word in....seeya later!

 

[sowellfan]

I tried having a relationship with someone in the LDS religion, and it was difficult.

I think that's one of the understatements of the year. What were you thinking?

I mean, really, what were you thinking????