christian or not?

[kicker]

Hey yall, most of you are familiar with my struggles by now. I just can't seem to find peace right now. I knoe the whole reassurance thing is not the right solution but how do I know I'm saved when I feel like walking away in my mind. I probably would never leave physically because so many people look to me to be a good christian. But in my mind I just want to crawl away and hide from everyone and everything (including spiritual things). My fears have completely consumed me it seems and I see no way to have confidence in my ability to believe I'm saved

James

 

[kaykay9.0]

All I know to tell you, James, is that it says in the book of Nehemiah that the "joy of the Lord is our strength," but it's hard to have joy and I guess, therefore, strength when our OCD keeps telling us we aren't even saved. It just wears you out.

James, are you in counseling right now? If not, I encourage you to find somebody you can trust to speak with you.

Praying for you~

 

[seajoy]

Are you on medication? Have you seen a psychiatrist? If both of these are no, you have not done all you could to be relieved of this illness. Please give it a try at least.

Our salvation is dependent on what Christ has done for us, not our good or bad OCD days. Please get help, we are all concerned for you and your depression.

 

[BeccaLynn]

James,
I've so wanted to run away from everything so many times. My responsibilities are probably what kept me here still tugging along, but I also wanted to run away from them too. Sometimes it seems as if it'll never get better, but the times I'm feeling better, I think I tend to hope I've conquered the beast of ocd. However, it's always crept up again in one way or another. Feelings of rest didn't even come when I was asleep because the peace didn't accompany it. I understand wanting absolute assurance. I've just had to put my assurance in who God is rather than my feelings of being saved. You know all this, but the fear and anxiety make us want to know that we know. I can't even say that I know that I know. I can say that God is faithful though. We with ocd cannot seek salvation just for the feeling.

Praying 4 U,

Rebecca

 

[pjspara]

"whosoever calleth on the name of the Lord sHAll be saved" the best word in that scripture is... WHOSOEVER.....

HE is still faithful even when we dont FEEL we have faith....

the fact that we are concerned with our salvation and that we are seeking and searching HAS to tell us He isnt going to turn us away.....
i believe Faith and doubt can coexist ESPECIALLY in our ocd worlds....

God WANTS us....and HE knows the struggles of your heart... and my heart..

thru my studies of the WORD and being totally honest with God ., i am GRADUAlly seeing that HE is wayyyy ahead of me, and hes there to catch me........not out to get me...... i still struggle, but im learning.......

you arent alone... by a long shot....i understand you completely


praying for you..... and all of us....

pj

 

[alreadybutnotyet]

Well, I cannot offer easy answers, but I can say that I have been in your boat for most of the last 6 years. Sometimes it just helps to know that you are not alone. Reading your posts help me, so I hope that reading mine will help you.

We serve a big God. All the deceiving power of OCD is a joke compared to His love for us. My prayers are with you.

 

[zingiber]

Hey James

It is hard. Sometimes I catch myself wishing that nothing spiritual was real, and just wanting to crawl away, go to sleep, forget and have peace, quietness.
One thing I have realised (painfully slowly!) is that you must focus on God, not on your own fears. I found this verse which I think shows it well

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

That one is Proverbs 3:5 and 6, niv
I like it because I think that it shows we must lean on, and focus on our great God, and not on our own ability to believe that we are saved, or our own ability to do anything.

I will pray for you, that He will comfort you and keep you firmly looking at him.

ps alreadybutnotyet, brilliant post!

 

[RachelZ]

Hey James, so sorry you're suffering so much at the moment. Iknow how awful and debilitating the anxiety of OCD can be though even as I say that I have a but what if mine isn't OCD? Grrrrr! I don't know what to say to encourage you that you don't already prolly know but one thing that came to mind was that Thomas doubted and although it isn't known if he had OCD it certainly doesn't imply that he did. My point is that his doubts didn't separate him from God...God met Him where he was. God is the one who is stronger than our doubts not us...if but once we trust more in our own faith than in God then we are seriously off key. I know it just feels awful...I wish I could just make it all go away for us all but please know that the God who allowed Thomas his doubts and Paul to be used despite his thorn and who got to preach to some people "...because of an illness..." still cares for you. Please hang in there and as others have said get the help you deserve if you're not doing so already. Hope I haven't said anything out of turn...wish I knew what to say that would really help. Take care, Rachel