Choosing a good college, help!

Albion · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg, based on that answer, maybe the local school would work best--for one year.

A lot of getting of ones feet wet can occur in that time period, and then you can transfer to some other college, being much better grounded in the ways of college and what to look for in a transfer institution than you otherwise would have been.

-Luca · Apr 11, 2019

I am studying hard to go to University, so I can understand your stress. I am also an INFP

I think that it might be useful if you visited some of the Universities you have chosen, the local one should be convenient for you. If you can't then maybe go onto YouTube and watch a lot of videos or reviews of the college - maybe ask people who go to those Universities. Have you asked your parents for any advice because I am sure that they will be able to help if you ask.

Andrew77 said:
So I have some odd advice for you. Don't go to school.

The key is that you said "now I have no idea what to do".

My advice to all students who are coming out of high school, without any idea what they really want to do with their life is... don't go to school.

You go to college when you have a career you wish to aim at. One of the best bits of advice I ever got, and still remember to this day is...... Never aim at nothing.... because you'll hit it every time.

You get my point? If you aim for nothing, and start shooting, you'll hit nothing a whole lot. Bad idea.

You go to college when you have a target. I want to be (X) whatever X is, and then you go to college to start hitting that target of being (X).

So here's my thought.

You can join a missions trip. You can do an outreach ministry. You can join an internship at some company you like. Check around, and see what is out there. Join a group going someplace, and help out in whatever way you can.

There are many things you can do. Determine to think about it over the next year. This time next year, with a goal in mind, then you can go to college.

because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love.

I really don't like this idea. I've seen people do it, and then they end up bouncing around, changing their major 5 times, take 8 years to graduate, and end up $200,000 in debt.

Are there people who do that and find what they like? Sure. But... I have seen more people come out with a degree they don't want, more often, because they didn't know what they wanted when they went in.

I would rather you take a year off, and figure out what you want first, and then go into school with a target to aim at. Rather than going into school, shooting at nothing over and over, and hoping you hit something.

Incredibly useful, thank you!

Shane R · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
Eeeeee. I do think there is wisdom in that, but the idea of not going to school is maybe even scarier than going to school.

Going to school just seems like it's what I'm supposed to do, what I've been preparing for 12+ years to do... But everything is moving at the speed of life, and I wish it would slow down and let me catch my breath...

Totally understandable. My high school counseling team was under orders to direct as many students as possible into college. That was not a good strategy for most of my graduating class. Less than half had graduated a college five years after high school - I hadn't. I went to a community college for a bit and ran out of money and interest at approximately the same time.

I did an apprenticeship program and learned a trade. I worked at that and was doing okay but my employer downsized and I was one of the casualties. The job market was tight and I joined the military. In the Navy, I encountered a lot of folk who had not been serious in school, whether high school or college. Let me tell you, after about two years of dealing with the Navy many of them found a new level of motivation for attending school. Knowing that it would be paid for by the Post 9/11 GI Bill was like icing on the cake. I'm not recommending anyone join the military but I am suggesting most young folks would do well to hit the reset button and take a year or two off to do other things before college. It tends to greatly improve one's focus and attitude.

For the record, when I got serious about school, I went to the Christian university.

Endeavourer · Apr 11, 2019

Hi Mary Meg,

I can identify with your background, and here's some advice from that perspective:

a) If you pursue a major with a STEM type of skill you'll be exposed to less objectionable indoctrination in public schools. Also, you'll graduate ready to DO something. You'll have a skill. If you're inclined towards a STEM major then a public university might be as equally desirable (and likely way cheaper) than a Christian college.

b) If you pursue an education major, likely a university curriculum will become distasteful and offensive to you. My sister tried switching from Dordt College back to a university due to the high costs of tuition at Dordt but she only lasted one (or two?) semesters before she was so disgusted she went back to Dordt even regardless of the huge loans she was racking up.

c) If you pursue a liberal arts major, paragraph (b) will likely apply as well. Colleges are really veering into a focus on social programming instead of education. You could still take some math and certain science courses to meet your requirements at the public u to save on tuition costs but be careful on how you choose.

Now that being said, I graduated with two STEM-ish degrees that gave me skills and prepared me to be productive in a job on Day 1 (which IMO is the only type of degree to pursue). However, the most essential part of my college education was learning that I was capable of anything. It was a period of tremendous personal growth outside of my sheltered box. For this reason, I'd recommend serious consideration to the far away option. Take these years to grow into the person you were designed to be. Perhaps at the end you return back to your box because you like it. But at least you'll know you are capable of facing down whatever you choose to.

If you don't know your major yet, I love @Andrew77's idea of a gap year activity.

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

Albion said:
Hi, Mary Meg.

A couple of quick thoughts from me--

It COULD be a problem if you choose a school that is very far from home. That's category 4 on your list. The first two categories on your list obviously deal with this concern, but I think it is real. All sorts of things--illness or personal problems, for example--can come along and most students do not want to be far removed from their family if the unexpected happens.

Second, be cautious about church-related or Bible schools. I do not mean ones that were founded by some denomination in the 1800s but you would never know it by the profile of the institution today, even if there is still a formal connection.

Students at religious colleges CAN BE (but it is certainly not always this way) oppressively regimented and, on the other hand, others can be as loose and permissive as any secular institution; do not assume, but do look closely if a religious college is high on your list.

Thanks. I think that definitely describes me... not wanting to be too far from home...

The Christian school I am talking about is Samford University. It's a Southern Baptist university and has a very good reputation for faith... although it is denominational and founded in the 1800s. Any thoughts about that?

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

Dave-W said:
Hi Mary! Welcome to the Forums!

What a big and exciting decision.

I am going to give you 3 things to think about that may help your decision process.

1 - what curricula are each of the universities/college well known for? And how do those programs line up with any of your interests/goals/strong subjects?

Well the Local School is strong is the sciences I like, not nearly as big in the liberal arts I like but not weak. The Big University -- well, one of the two is bigger in science, the other in liberal arts (psss, this is Alabama and Auburn). The Christian School is a lot stronger in liberal arts but does have programs in the sciences too.

Dave-W said:
2 - evaluate how well you do being far away from home. Some people have no problem and others seem to get homesick a few weeks into the semester. (usually just in time for mid-terms)

Honestly... I haven't really been very far away from home by myself. The thought of that is both frightening and exhilarating...

Dave-W said:
3 - think and pray REALLY hard about what kind of support system in regards to a congregational home each of the locations has.

For me; #1 was a slam dunk, #2 was marginal and I totally bombed #3. Had I not realized where i was headed, and scrambled to find a congregation, I probably would have fallen away. I was that close. In one semester.

BTW, I went thru this with my own 4 kids.

#3 I guess I will have to research... how do I research that?

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

Andrew77 said:
The Best Gap Year Programs in 2019-2020 | GoAbroad.com

Gap-year programs. One year doing something neat, before going to college.

Christian Gap Year Opportunities Worldwide - Year4God

Church based gap-year programs.

Check around at all your local churches, and see if they have any such programs.

Can't hurt to ask, right?

(by the way, I like your avatar)

I can look into these... and talk to my parents. It is something to think about...

And thanks! I like your avatar too!

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

Shane R said:
Totally understandable. My high school counseling team was under orders to direct as many students as possible into college. That was not a good strategy for most of my graduating class. Less than half had graduated a college five years after high school - I hadn't. I went to a community college for a bit and ran out of money and interest at approximately the same time.

I did an apprenticeship program and learned a trade. I worked at that and was doing okay but my employer downsized and I was one of the casualties. The job market was tight and I joined the military. In the Navy, I encountered a lot of folk who had not been serious in school, whether high school or college. Let me tell you, after about two years of dealing with the Navy many of them found a new level of motivation for attending school. Knowing that it would be paid for by the Post 9/11 GI Bill was like icing on the cake. I'm not recommending anyone join the military but I am suggesting most young folks would do well to hit the reset button and take a year or two off to do other things before college. It tends to greatly improve one's focus and attitude.

For the record, when I got serious about school, I went to the Christian university.

So what would you do if you had it to do over? Knowing now what you didn't know then? Did you have any idea you would be called to the ministry?

crossnote · Apr 11, 2019

Hi,
I'd go with the Christian college provided they have a high view of Scripture. Secular college tore apart my daughter's faith and she has yet to recover what she had.

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

-Luca said:
I am studying hard to go to University, so I can understand your stress. I am also an INFP

I think that it might be useful if you visited some of the Universities you have chosen, the local one should be convenient for you. If you can't then maybe go onto YouTube and watch a lot of videos or reviews of the college - maybe ask people who go to those Universities. Have you asked your parents for any advice because I am sure that they will be able to help if you ask.

Incredibly useful, thank you!

Thanks! Good to meet another INFP on here! Yes, I've talked to my parents but they say it has to be my decision...

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

crossnote said:
Hi,
I'd go with the Christian college provided they have a high view of Scripture. Secular college tore apart my daughter's faith and she has yet to recover what she had.

How do I know if they have a high view of Scripture?

Cimorene · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
Thanks! But I don't really know what ROI (Return on Investment?) means or how to understand all this.

You're welcome! No worries, I hadn't known what it meant either but it's something my college advisor had talked to us about. Basically it's how much your investment of time & money into that degree from that college is going to pay off for you throughout your career.

Best Value Colleges | PayScale

There's some degrees that are super prestigious so even if they are expensive or take longer to get they are worthwhile bc they're a really sound investment for your life. Those degrees will help you to land more jobs that will earn more money & have more career satisfaction, so you'll make back what you spent. Then there's other degrees that are not going to lead to as many opportunities so they're not as worthwhile.

This helped me in making decisions about which college to attend. I'm an American living in Canada & I applied to colleges in both the US & Canada. I wanted to make sure I went to a college that was really respected in both countries bc Idk yet which one I'll end up spending more of my life in. I wanted a degree that will serve me for a long time, anywhere. I got a scholarship too but I'm still spending so much time that it's def. a major investment. It's one reason why I picked a university that is ranked high on the world rankings & a degree that is also ranked really high. It has a ton of employers from major intl companies recruiting & almost everyone gets a strong job offer before graduation. But that's just me. My cousin went to a smaller college & it worked out super great for her, especially bc she ended up settling in the town it's in so obv. employers there know all about it.

World University Rankings

Dave-W · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
#3 I guess I will have to research... how do I research that?

Do a search on christian congregations near the campus. See if any of them are similar in structure and doctrine to your own home congregation.

Give them a call. talk to the secretary, or better, one of the pastoral staff if possible. If they sound ok, take the trip and visit the congregation.

What Crossnote said is true. A secular university can tear you apart without a good solid congregational home. One that will keep you accountable to not stray into drugs or sex or whatever. First time away from home, the lid comes off and you will want to try all kinds of things. It happens to good solid christian kids all the time.

So a good solid congregational home is an absolute requirement.

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

Dave-W said:
A secular university can tear you apart without a good solid congregational home. One that will keep you accountable to not stray into drugs or sex or whatever. First time away from home, the lid comes off and you will want to try all kinds of things. It happens to good solid christian kids all the time.

Wow...

crossnote · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
How do I know if they have a high view of Scripture?

Ask and research if they honestly believe the Bible is fully inspired by God and is true in all it says. There are many Christian schools playing footloose and fancy with Scripture casting doubts in the hearers minds and hearts. You can also ask these people for a recommendation... What is biblical inerrancy?

Dave-W · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
Wow...

Indeed. I almost got caught in that maelstrom, and knew several solid believers that were almost atheists after 4 years there at Michigan State.

I don't want to scare you; but for you to be aware of the challenges you will face.
Fore-warned is fore-armed.

Mary Meg · Apr 11, 2019

Maybe I just want to go hide in a hole and read books for a few years...

lsume · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
Hi. I'm a Christian girl just about to graduate high school and I need to decide on a college to attend by May 1. I applied to and was accepted to a BUNCH of schools, and now I have no idea what to do... All of these offered me good scholarships. I'm completely overwhelmed by this life-changing decision and all the options before me.

A little about me: I'm quiet and shy, an introvert (INFP), serious and studious and faithful but also I also like to have fun sometimes! I was homeschooled and make good grades. I have different ideas about what I want to study... I'm fascinated by science and good at math and interested in computers, but also I love reading and literature and art and beautiful things. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I get along pretty well with people but am not very social.

I need advice in how to think about this, what things to consider, how to weigh the options, any other advice you can give.

Basically here are my choices:

1. The Local School. We have a pretty good sized state university in our city that is big on science and engineering but pretty good on liberal arts too. I like the idea of a university because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love. I could live at home or live in a dorm, but I could be home in less than hour whenever I live. This is appealing in some ways -- it feels safe -- but I also dream of going someplace else...

2. The Big University. There's a big state university in my state (actually two, but for simplicity's sake let's say one), with lots and lots of students, many things to study, dorms and apartments and things to do. They are strong in science and liberal arts and just really big. I would live in a dorm. This is about 3-4 hours from home so I could come home when I really wanted to but not on a whim. This is really exciting to think about but also very scary. What if I get lost in the crowd? What if it swallows me whole? What if I love it?

3. The Christian School. There's a good-sized, well-respected Christian college about 2 hours away from home. I would live in a dorm, and I love the campus and it seems like an enriching place for my faith and I love that. It also has academic programs in both science and arts, though the liberal arts is stronger and the science not as strong or diverse. I would feel safe here. It's in a large city so I would have things to do around if I wanted to, or I could stay on campus... It seems like a really good idea, but this is the most expensive and the least financial aid.

4. The Far-Off School. There are actually several larger colleges and universities I applied to between 8-12 hours away. The thought of these is exciting but also way scary so I think maybe I can rule them out now that I sit down to write about it.

I guess basically -- how do I even approach a major decision like this? I pray and talk to my parents but still feel totally overwhelmed and anxious.

Having taught at two universities, one in The School of Math and other in The School of Engineering, I used to advise my students to talk with a school official (counselor) about what jobs will be hot when you graduate if working some day is your dream. I got my degree in mechanical engineering from a tough school. Few who tried made it through. It required tremendous focus and The Good Lord carrying me through. If you are not pre-determined to enter into this very difficult field ahead of time, you might find out that it’s more than you are ready to take on. I’ve taught numerous engineers and/or engineering students and other professionals. Christ must always be number one in your life. Knowing what you really want to do or need to do at your young age is a bit ridiculous to me. I realize that now kids are thinking about their futures at younger ages as I understand it. I’m a 65 year old retired engineer. I wanted to go to med school. I had my guaranteed entry provided I graduated with an ME degree. I did but my wife didn’t want anymore school. It all worked out anyway. I did, at my age, try to get into a medical school last year for free based on my teaching and helping them with energy. Recently I even checked into being a physicians assistant.

Our commitment to Christ determines where we end up I believe.

-Luca · Apr 11, 2019

Mary Meg said:
Thanks! Good to meet another INFP on here! Yes, I've talked to my parents but they say it has to be my decision...

Well either way, I hope that you are pleased with the decision you make. You are in my prayers

SpiritSong · Apr 11, 2019

Since the Christian school is the most expensive and the least helpful financially, it might not be your best choice. You don't want to be heavily burdened with debt when you graduate. Scholarships are such a blessing, don't neglect them!

Also, State Universities are more readily recognizable by companies thinking of hiring you after you graduate. Just be sure to stay connected with a church during your years in school, and don't get lured into staying out late on Saturday nights and then sleeping in on Sunday mornings. Also, get involved with the Christian Group(s) on campus, of which I am sure there should be at least one.

As to your major, I can tell you that there is not a lot of remuneration in the arts, though the work is very rewarding. So! Minor in art of some kind and major in something Math or Science. I tell you this from experience. I went to one of the best art colleges in the country (Pratt Inst.) but was never able to make a living from my art. On the other hand, my mother had a double masters in Math and Languages and she got hired shortly after graduating by GE Corp! She worked for them for 33 years and had a good retirement and benefits package too. All of these things should be considered when choosing who to work for after you graduate, not just the paycheck.

Choosing a good college, help!

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