Choosing a good college, help!

[Mary Meg]

Hi. I'm a Christian girl just about to graduate high school and I need to decide on a college to attend by May 1. I applied to and was accepted to a BUNCH of schools, and now I have no idea what to do... All of these offered me good scholarships. I'm completely overwhelmed by this life-changing decision and all the options before me.

A little about me: I'm quiet and shy, an introvert (INFP), serious and studious and faithful but also I also like to have fun sometimes! I was homeschooled and make good grades. I have different ideas about what I want to study... I'm fascinated by science and good at math and interested in computers, but also I love reading and literature and art and beautiful things. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I get along pretty well with people but am not very social.

I need advice in how to think about this, what things to consider, how to weigh the options, any other advice you can give.

Basically here are my choices:

1. The Local School. We have a pretty good sized state university in our city that is big on science and engineering but pretty good on liberal arts too. I like the idea of a university because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love. I could live at home or live in a dorm, but I could be home in less than hour whenever I live. This is appealing in some ways -- it feels safe -- but I also dream of going someplace else...

2. The Big University. There's a big state university in my state (actually two, but for simplicity's sake let's say one), with lots and lots of students, many things to study, dorms and apartments and things to do. They are strong in science and liberal arts and just really big. I would live in a dorm. This is about 3-4 hours from home so I could come home when I really wanted to but not on a whim. This is really exciting to think about but also very scary. What if I get lost in the crowd? What if it swallows me whole? What if I love it?

3. The Christian School. There's a good-sized, well-respected Christian college about 2 hours away from home. I would live in a dorm, and I love the campus and it seems like an enriching place for my faith and I love that. It also has academic programs in both science and arts, though the liberal arts is stronger and the science not as strong or diverse. I would feel safe here. It's in a large city so I would have things to do around if I wanted to, or I could stay on campus... It seems like a really good idea, but this is the most expensive and the least financial aid.

4. The Far-Off School. There are actually several larger colleges and universities I applied to between 8-12 hours away. The thought of these is exciting but also way scary so I think maybe I can rule them out now that I sit down to write about it.

I guess basically -- how do I even approach a major decision like this? I pray and talk to my parents but still feel totally overwhelmed and anxious.

 

[Cimorene]

Congrats!

Are they about equal in regards to prestige & opportunities? Maybe you could look up the ROI - Return on Investment - for them to see which one has the highest ROI long-term.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Hi. I'm a Christian girl just about to graduate high school and I need to decide on a college to attend by May 1. I applied to and was accepted to a BUNCH of schools, and now I have no idea what to do... All of these offered me good scholarships. I'm completely overwhelmed by this life-changing decision and all the options before me.

A little about me: I'm quiet and shy, an introvert (INFP), serious and studious and faithful but also I also like to have fun sometimes! I was homeschooled and make good grades. I have different ideas about what I want to study... I'm fascinated by science and good at math and interested in computers, but also I love reading and literature and art and beautiful things. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I get along pretty well with people but am not very social.

I need advice in how to think about this, what things to consider, how to weigh the options, any other advice you can give.

Basically here are my choices:

1. The Local School. We have a pretty good sized state university in our city that is big on science and engineering but pretty good on liberal arts too. I like the idea of a university because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love. I could live at home or live in a dorm, but I could be home in less than hour whenever I live. This is appealing in some ways -- it feels safe -- but I also dream of going someplace else...

2. The Big University. There's a big state university in my state (actually two, but for simplicity's sake let's say one), with lots and lots of students, many things to study, dorms and apartments and things to do. They are strong in science and liberal arts and just really big. I would live in a dorm. This is about 3-4 hours from home so I could come home when I really wanted to but not on a whim. This is really exciting to think about but also very scary. What if I get lost in the crowd? What if it swallows me whole? What if I love it?

3. The Christian School. There's a good-sized, well-respected Christian college about 2 hours away from home. I would live in a dorm, and I love the campus and it seems like an enriching place for my faith and I love that. It also has academic programs in both science and arts, though the liberal arts is stronger and the science not as strong or diverse. I would feel safe here. It's in a large city so I would have things to do around if I wanted to, or I could stay on campus... It seems like a really good idea, but this is the most expensive and the least financial aid.

4. The Far-Off School. There are actually several larger colleges and universities I applied to between 8-12 hours away. The thought of these is exciting but also way scary so I think maybe I can rule them out now that I sit down to write about it.

I guess basically -- how do I even approach a major decision like this? I pray and talk to my parents but still feel totally overwhelmed and anxious.

I went to the Far-Off School. My dad encouraged it as a way for me to grow in independence. It was good for me. I floundered for a while but came out OK. Turns out I got a really good education.

As to the Christian school, a caveat. Some are Christian in name only. Some are only halfway Christian and halfway compromised with the temporary ruler of this world. Some can be expensive but effective places to lose one's faith. My children went to such places but came out still practicing their faith. They came to college with a strong faith built up by a great Catholic high school and they survived with a strong faith. But I think maybe that would have been true wherever they went. If you have a good foundation to your faith you will do OK wherever you go. Sounds like being homeschooled you have a good foundation to your faith. Hopefully you have had exposure to controversial things. If not, watch out wherever you go. But the most corrosive can be a school that pretends to be Christian more than actually being Christian.

I did graduate studies at a big big university and it was just crazy too big. It was a program split between two campuses, so there was always bus time back and forth or long walk times from one end of the biomedical complex to the other. Yuck. Too big for me.

 

[Mary Meg]

Congrats!

Are they about equal in regards to prestige & opportunities? Maybe you could look up the ROI - Return on Investment - for them to see which one has the highest ROI long-term.

Thanks! But I don't really know what ROI (Return on Investment?) means or how to understand all this.

 

[mama2one]

Congratulations on receiving scholarships and acceptance to college!

narrow your choices down and visit
see the places & ask questions while touring
you really need to go and walk around as this will be your home for 4 yrs

blessings and best to you

 

[Kenyon Ledford]

Just photoshop your face throwing a 90-yard TD pass and then have your mom buy your way in. Duh...

 

[Mary Meg]

I went to the Far-Off School. My dad encouraged it as a way for me to grow in independence. It was good for me. I floundered for a while but came out OK. Turns out I got a really good education.

As to the Christian school, a caveat. Some are Christian in name only. Some are only halfway Christian and halfway compromised with the temporary ruler of this world. Some can be expensive but effective places to lose one's faith. My children went to such places but came out still practicing their faith. They came to college with a strong faith built up by a great Catholic high school and they survived with a strong faith. But I think maybe that would have been true wherever they went. If you have a good foundation to your faith you will do OK wherever you go. Sounds like being homeschooled you have a good foundation to your faith. Hopefully you have had exposure to controversial things. If not, watch out wherever you go. But the most corrosive can be a school that pretends to be Christian more than actually being Christian.

I did graduate studies at a big big university and it was just crazy too big. It was a program split between two campuses, so there was always bus time back and forth or long walk times from one end of the biomedical complex to the other. Yuck. Too big for me.

Thanks! So what was the Far-Off School like for you? How did you choose that? Was it hard starting out? Where did you live? How often did you go home?

I do think this Christian school is faithfully Christian. The people I know who have gone to school there say it is and it has a good reputation.

Yes, the Big University is pretty scary to me too.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Thanks! But I don't really know what ROI (Return on Investment?) means or how to understand all this.

If you invest a dollar, how much do you get back on your investment?

You can use it to analyze all sorts of things, but not everything has a tangible return, or some things have tangible returns AND intangible returns. So you might get limited tangible returns but great intangible returns from one choice and the other choice might give you great tangible returns. What does it profit a man to have gained the whole world and lose his soul?

 

[Mary Meg]

Congratulations on receiving scholarships and acceptance to college!

narrow your choices down and visit
see the places & ask questions while touring
you really need to go and walk around as this will be your home for 4 yrs

blessings and best to you

Thanks! I have visited several of them. The Christian School is the loveliest but the Big University has a very nice (but big) campus too. The Local School is... okay I guess. It has some nice spots but feels very familiar and less interesting.

 

[Andrew77]

Hi. I'm a Christian girl just about to graduate high school and I need to decide on a college to attend by May 1. I applied to and was accepted to a BUNCH of schools, and now I have no idea what to do... All of these offered me good scholarships. I'm completely overwhelmed by this life-changing decision and all the options before me.

A little about me: I'm quiet and shy, an introvert (INFP), serious and studious and faithful but also I also like to have fun sometimes! I was homeschooled and make good grades. I have different ideas about what I want to study... I'm fascinated by science and good at math and interested in computers, but also I love reading and literature and art and beautiful things. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I get along pretty well with people but am not very social.

I need advice in how to think about this, what things to consider, how to weigh the options, any other advice you can give.

Basically here are my choices:

1. The Local School. We have a pretty good sized state university in our city that is big on science and engineering but pretty good on liberal arts too. I like the idea of a university because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love. I could live at home or live in a dorm, but I could be home in less than hour whenever I live. This is appealing in some ways -- it feels safe -- but I also dream of going someplace else...

2. The Big University. There's a big state university in my state (actually two, but for simplicity's sake let's say one), with lots and lots of students, many things to study, dorms and apartments and things to do. They are strong in science and liberal arts and just really big. I would live in a dorm. This is about 3-4 hours from home so I could come home when I really wanted to but not on a whim. This is really exciting to think about but also very scary. What if I get lost in the crowd? What if it swallows me whole? What if I love it?

3. The Christian School. There's a good-sized, well-respected Christian college about 2 hours away from home. I would live in a dorm, and I love the campus and it seems like an enriching place for my faith and I love that. It also has academic programs in both science and arts, though the liberal arts is stronger and the science not as strong or diverse. I would feel safe here. It's in a large city so I would have things to do around if I wanted to, or I could stay on campus... It seems like a really good idea, but this is the most expensive and the least financial aid.

4. The Far-Off School. There are actually several larger colleges and universities I applied to between 8-12 hours away. The thought of these is exciting but also way scary so I think maybe I can rule them out now that I sit down to write about it.

I guess basically -- how do I even approach a major decision like this? I pray and talk to my parents but still feel totally overwhelmed and anxious.

So I have some odd advice for you. Don't go to school.

The key is that you said "now I have no idea what to do".

My advice to all students who are coming out of high school, without any idea what they really want to do with their life is... don't go to school.

You go to college when you have a career you wish to aim at. One of the best bits of advice I ever got, and still remember to this day is...... Never aim at nothing.... because you'll hit it every time.

You get my point? If you aim for nothing, and start shooting, you'll hit nothing a whole lot. Bad idea.

You go to college when you have a target. I want to be (X) whatever X is, and then you go to college to start hitting that target of being (X).

So here's my thought.

You can join a missions trip. You can do an outreach ministry. You can join an internship at some company you like. Check around, and see what is out there. Join a group going someplace, and help out in whatever way you can.

There are many things you can do. Determine to think about it over the next year. This time next year, with a goal in mind, then you can go to college.

because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love.
​

I really don't like this idea. I've seen people do it, and then they end up bouncing around, changing their major 5 times, take 8 years to graduate, and end up $200,000 in debt.

Are there people who do that and find what they like? Sure. But... I have seen more people come out with a degree they don't want, more often, because they didn't know what they wanted when they went in.

I would rather you take a year off, and figure out what you want first, and then go into school with a target to aim at. Rather than going into school, shooting at nothing over and over, and hoping you hit something.

 

[PloverWing]

Congratulations on your college acceptances and your scholarships!

You've done some really good analysis already. I expect that any one of them would give you a good education. As you note, there are advantages to each arrangement. My husband went to Big University, which was Local, and commuted. It gave him an opportunity to major in something that smaller colleges didn't offer. I went to Christian Liberal Arts College, which was also Far-Off School (1000 miles from my home). My college experience helped ease me from my rather sheltered Christian K-12 education into a faith that was robust enough to survive in the broader outside world, and that was very valuable to me.

One thing to take into account is that college is a time to explore the wider world. If you go to a place that's different from where you grew up, and if the students attending the college come from all kinds of places across the country, it can broaden your outlook, which is part of what college is for.

I wish you well as you make this difficult decision and as you enter this next phase of your life.

 

[Albion]

Hi, Mary Meg.

A couple of quick thoughts from me--

It COULD be a problem if you choose a school that is very far from home. That's category 4 on your list. The first two categories on your list obviously deal with this concern, but I think it is real. All sorts of things--illness or personal problems, for example--can come along and most students do not want to be far removed from their family if the unexpected happens.

Second, be cautious about church-related or Bible schools. I do not mean ones that were founded by some denomination in the 1800s but you would never know it by the profile of the institution today, even if there is still a formal connection.

Students at religious colleges CAN BE (but it is certainly not always this way) oppressively regimented and, on the other hand, others can be as loose and permissive as any secular institution; do not assume, but do look closely if a religious college is high on your list.

 

[Dave-W]

Hi. I'm a Christian girl just about to graduate high school and I need to decide on a college to attend by May 1.

Hi Mary! Welcome to the Forums!

What a big and exciting decision.

I am going to give you 3 things to think about that may help your decision process.

1 - what curricula are each of the universities/college well known for? And how do those programs line up with any of your interests/goals/strong subjects?

2 - evaluate how well you do being far away from home. Some people have no problem and others seem to get homesick a few weeks into the semester. (usually just in time for mid-terms)

3 - think and pray REALLY hard about what kind of support system in regards to a congregational home each of the locations has.

For me; #1 was a slam dunk, #2 was marginal and I totally bombed #3. Had I not realized where i was headed, and scrambled to find a congregation, I probably would have fallen away. I was that close. In one semester.

BTW, I went thru this with my own 4 kids.

 

[Dave-W]

Congrats!

Cimorene! Welcome back!

 

[Andrew77]

Thanks! But I don't really know what ROI (Return on Investment?) means or how to understand all this.

He means, for the amount of money you are spending at the different schools, which school will result in the biggest wage job, after you get out. How much you earn, over how much you spent. That is your return (salary at a job), on your investment (money spent on school).

I would go to the cheapest school. There is no magic to education. If you go into a job that pays $50,000 a year, going to a school that costs $100,000 is not going to result in your job paying more, than if you go to a $50,000 college, or a $25,000 college.

Your wage will depend on your ability to do stuff. As long as the college teaches you what you need to accomplish the job you wish to do, that's all that matters. Paying more money for education, rarely pays off.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Thanks! So what was the Far-Off School like for you? How did you choose that? Was it hard starting out? Where did you live? How often did you go home?

I do think this Christian school is faithfully Christian. The people I know who have gone to school there say it is and it has a good reputation.

Yes, the Big University is pretty scary to me too.

I visited the place and compared it to the local place I was familiar with and another place which was pretty big. I was impressed by the quality of the place and that was the deciding factor. It had impressive faculty AND they were accessible to mere mortal students.

The hard part was that I knew NOBODY when I got there. After a while I fell in with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and that helped. Later at the Newman Center. Both were formative for my faith. I didn't have a great foundation for my faith before I arrived, but both of those steered me safe.

I lived in the dorms all but my last year. And dorms do allow you to be close so you can inhabit the library and the labs, so academically it's probably the smart way to go. I spent a lot of time in the library, figuring out that great big paper brain they let me hang out in. I got home at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break.

 

[Andrew77]

Hi. I'm a Christian girl just about to graduate high school and I need to decide on a college to attend by May 1. I applied to and was accepted to a BUNCH of schools, and now I have no idea what to do... All of these offered me good scholarships. I'm completely overwhelmed by this life-changing decision and all the options before me.

A little about me: I'm quiet and shy, an introvert (INFP), serious and studious and faithful but also I also like to have fun sometimes! I was homeschooled and make good grades. I have different ideas about what I want to study... I'm fascinated by science and good at math and interested in computers, but also I love reading and literature and art and beautiful things. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I get along pretty well with people but am not very social.

I need advice in how to think about this, what things to consider, how to weigh the options, any other advice you can give.

Basically here are my choices:

1. The Local School. We have a pretty good sized state university in our city that is big on science and engineering but pretty good on liberal arts too. I like the idea of a university because I could try studying different things to help me find what I love. I could live at home or live in a dorm, but I could be home in less than hour whenever I live. This is appealing in some ways -- it feels safe -- but I also dream of going someplace else...

2. The Big University. There's a big state university in my state (actually two, but for simplicity's sake let's say one), with lots and lots of students, many things to study, dorms and apartments and things to do. They are strong in science and liberal arts and just really big. I would live in a dorm. This is about 3-4 hours from home so I could come home when I really wanted to but not on a whim. This is really exciting to think about but also very scary. What if I get lost in the crowd? What if it swallows me whole? What if I love it?

3. The Christian School. There's a good-sized, well-respected Christian college about 2 hours away from home. I would live in a dorm, and I love the campus and it seems like an enriching place for my faith and I love that. It also has academic programs in both science and arts, though the liberal arts is stronger and the science not as strong or diverse. I would feel safe here. It's in a large city so I would have things to do around if I wanted to, or I could stay on campus... It seems like a really good idea, but this is the most expensive and the least financial aid.

4. The Far-Off School. There are actually several larger colleges and universities I applied to between 8-12 hours away. The thought of these is exciting but also way scary so I think maybe I can rule them out now that I sit down to write about it.

I guess basically -- how do I even approach a major decision like this? I pray and talk to my parents but still feel totally overwhelmed and anxious.

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Gap-year programs. One year doing something neat, before going to college.

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Church based gap-year programs.

Check around at all your local churches, and see if they have any such programs.

Can't hurt to ask, right?

(by the way, I like your avatar)

 

[Mary Meg]

So I have some odd advice for you. Don't go to school.

The key is that you said "now I have no idea what to do".

My advice to all students who are coming out of high school, without any idea what they really want to do with their life is... don't go to school.

You go to college when you have a career you wish to aim at. One of the best bits of advice I ever got, and still remember to this day is...... Never aim at nothing.... because you'll hit it every time.

You get my point? If you aim for nothing, and start shooting, you'll hit nothing a whole lot. Bad idea.

Eeeeee. I do think there is wisdom in that, but the idea of not going to school is maybe even scarier than going to school.

Going to school just seems like it's what I'm supposed to do, what I've been preparing for 12+ years to do... But everything is moving at the speed of life, and I wish it would slow down and let me catch my breath...

 

[Willing-heart]

Enquire of the Lord... Good you've done so already. Whatever decision you God has already gone ahead before you

 

[Andrew77]

Eeeeee. I do think there is wisdom in that, but the idea of not going to school is maybe even scarier than going to school.

Going to school just seems like it's what I'm supposed to do, what I've been preparing for 12+ years to do... But everything is moving at the speed of life, and I wish it would slow down and let me catch my breath...

That is exactly what I'm saying. Take a year off. Do a gap-year program. Nothing is worse than jumping into something, when you don't even know what you want to do.

Many people do this. That's why gap-year programs exist. Then next year, after spending some time seeing the outside world.... they are better able to make a wise choice about what to do, what college to go to, and what career to aim for.

Everything in life doesn't have to happen RIGHT NOW... you can wait a bit. Better to wait and make a wise choice, than jump head first, when you don't even know how deep the pool is...... does that make sense?