Choosing a church

[jewels31414]

My husband and I have attended a small OPC church for 8 years. We love the teaching, the worship, and the people are wonderful. That said, there are not a lot of families with young children, and I have felt lonely for a long time. After our daughter was born, I wanted to switch small groups to one which had other young families in it, but my husband did not want to, as he liked the teaching that our pastor provided in the small group we were in. He was becoming an elder there, and did not want to lose the opportunity to learn from our pastor.

I have tried different things to try and help with this area in our church, offering play dates to the community, etc, but so far it hasn't really worked.

Recently I have tried several times to discuss with my husband the possibility of looking at other churches, to see if we can find somewhere where we are both thriving. When I broached this topic recently, he got very angry with me and said I was not supportive of his choices.

I know that the man is the spiritual head of the household, and it is ultimately my husband's decision where we attend church. That said, is it wrong for the wife to express concerns about things like the one I described? In his eyes, I'm judging the church on my "social life." Is this wrong?

I would truly like to know what other Christians think about this.

 

[tampasteve]

I don't think that there is anything "wrong" with trying to find a church that fits your social and spiritual needs. However, finding one that meets your spiritual needs well can be even more difficult, so I would not take that aspect lightly if you already have one that meets those needs. Is it possible to find friends outside of the church you attend? Maybe a Christian women's or family group that is not affiliated with your church? Perhaps even just meetup groups for you or your family?

Your husband is not right to be angry, but perhaps it would go over better to not frame this as a "change church" discussion but rather of "how do we meet more people and families"? Changing churches could be an option, but it should not be the only one discussed.

 

[LoveGodsWord]

There are over 40,000 different Church's in the world today and these were growing at the last consensus. How are you going to find God's true Church and not one that has friendly people that might lead you away from God and His Word. Not all of them can have the truth of God's Word can they? This was the same situation I was provided with some time ago. How to find God's true Church? May God bless you as you prayerfully seek Him through his Word.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @jewels31414, first off, since I see that you are new around here, WELCOME TO CF

As for your OP, I agree with the reasoning and advice that @tampasteve just gave you above.

Praying for you!

God bless you!

--David

 

[GirdYourLoins]

As a husband and father I view the role of the spiritual head of the family to b to ensure the spiritual growth and wellbeing of the whole family. Part of this includes ensuring the wife and children in the family are catered for. As your child/children grow they will benefit from being in a church that can cater for their needs and allow them to have friends of their own age. It also sounds like you would benefit from an environment where you have other Christian parents around to fellowship with.

In my experience small churches with few children dont really cater for them. Rather than Sunday school they are given some colouring in or something to do to keep them quiet and occupied, but it really doesnt help them grow up as Christians.

So my view is that in getting angry your husband is being selfish. He is only considering what he wants and his spiritual growth, not that of you and your child. .Rather than talk about changing church, maybe try taking about providing your daughter with a better Christian environment and somewhere you can grow as a Christian parentl

 

[snoochface]

Is there any reason you can't go to both small groups? If they meet at the same time, is there any reason your husband can't go to the one he prefers while you attend the other for a period of time?

 

[mama2one]

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[JulieB67]

Fellowship with like minded people is good. But having said that at this point in my life I'm very weary of churches that never really get around to teaching Gods' word, chapter by chapter and verse by verse. It's important to know God's overall plan. I actually left the church because the only thing I was getting fed was "milk" as Paul taught and never getting into the meat of God's word.