choices?

[kicker]

Hey everyone. Thanks to all who have been encouraging me lately. I have another question to ask. Several of you mentioned about obeying God even if the feelings were not there because ocd can't keep us from choosing to serve. My problem is that I don't even want to do that it seems. All I want to do is just lay around and do nothing. I teach a few classes in the morning and then all I want to do is come home and watch tv or sleep. No desire to do anything for God or anyone else for that matter. How concerned should I be about what's going on here. I feel like I'm falling. further away. I just feel completely worthless and lazy. Thanks for all of your kindness. Just tired of being this way.

 

[Jayangel81]

Lack of motivation and depression is what often times causes this.

Add that to the way you "feel" because of the Ocd and I can easily see this happening. Actually I see it happening to me at times.

You are far from being worthless..I know that you are precious to God and to me and the rest of us in CF

Its easy to look at us in this way when we are going through hardships and trials. Pick up your head and remember who you really are. You are a Child of God, a Saint

 

[kicker]

Thanks jay. I appreciate your help and words of encouragement.

James

 

[kaykay9.0]

OCD can certainly cause depression, but sounds like what you are describing now is more depression than OCD. If you are not on meds (SSRI's ) it might be time to at least consider them. Have you spoken with a dr. about your feelings? Just my thoughts on what you are describing, kicker.

 

[picassoui]

Hey everyone. Thanks to all who have been encouraging me lately. I have another question to ask. Several of you mentioned about obeying God even if the feelings were not there because ocd can't keep us from choosing to serve. My problem is that I don't even want to do that it seems. All I want to do is just lay around and do nothing. I teach a few classes in the morning and then all I want to do is come home and watch tv or sleep. No desire to do anything for God or anyone else for that matter. How concerned should I be about what's going on here. I feel like I'm falling. further away. I just feel completely worthless and lazy. Thanks for all of your kindness. Just tired of being this way.

james i know how you feel and im not diagnosing but it sounds like pure depression to me ...but then again all of this crap we suffer with can ware you out i feel like ive been beaten down so hard i cant get back up so yes i understand how you feel

 

[kicker]

I know what you mean andy. I feel beaten and worn out. I know I'm mentally worn out and probably worn out spiritually trying to figure it all out. I don't know how to find rest for my brain. I know how to rest the body but how do you rest mentally and spiritually. My mind won't shut down long enough to rest. Its hard to imagine ever being better. I was thinking last night how I've been going through the worst part for the last eight years and I have gotten to where I can't remember what it felt like to not be so worried. It has just become my way of living it seems.

So very tired
James

 

[Ariel]

kicker--It sounds like depression to me too, not that I can diagnose, I am not a professional counselor. But depression has a way of making you frozen.

Yes, rest helps, so does therapy, and so do meds. You can get well, I am convinced of this.

I am praying for you.

 

[kicker]

Hey thanks for your advice. I am hoping that what everyone said is right that I'm just depressed. I will be seeing a therapist this week (first time) so I hope I she can help. This site has been a big lift for me. Even though I'm in the midst of a struggle right now and haven't been able to apply all the advice I am comforted to know that others are battling too. Thanks everyone so much. I wish I could name everyone who has helped me but I'm afraid I might leave someone out accidentally (more ocd lol). Keep me in your prayers that maybe I can find a new med that will help.

God bless
James

 

[PilgrimsProgress]

Hi James! Just a quick note....Hang in there, I will be praying for you! I know exactly what you mean about not knowing how to rest your brain!! You described that very well, I completely went through that also! You are in God's hands, He will get you through this!

Lord bless you!
In His Grace,
Laura

 

[Ariel]

Praying for you, James. Let us know how things are going.

 

[BeccaLynn]

It sounds familiar to me too! Please keep us updated about what the therapist says. It can all be overwhelming. Remember that God's Holy Spirit prays for the saints when we don't even know what to ask for. Jesus also intercedes on our behalf. I think sometimes resting our brains, especially when we are so spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. exausted, means to remember that He is fighting for us and to just let Him do it. Even if it's telling God that although we don't understand, we come to Him because He is our God and understands more than we ever could. I've told God that so many times, and have just asked Him to intercede on my behalf. Then, I try and let it go, knowing that God has heard me. Those feelings of internal uneasiness and unrest, the feelings of something just not being "right" within, lead us to think that we desperately need to be doing something to combat this and make it better, so we worry and try to fight the "good fight of faith" by wrestling with this thing and trying to figure it all out. That only seems to intensify the ocd I think. Rest knowing that God is working in your behalf even now. He is our El Shaddai, our God who is more than enough. It's a learning process in letting Him be that to us. Try to rest in knowing that God understands, He's not tired of "fooling with you", as I used to think He must be with me, and He is not leaving you. He's gentle, loving, compassionate, longsuffering, and so much more. That is so difficult for us to fathom. You are so valuable to God and He is never going to abandon you, no matter what your thoughts tell you.

Prayers,
Rebecca

 

[Yuki Usagi]

In your first post it sounds like you're worn out. Serving the Lord doesn't have to be a chore, or something you grunt and sweat to do all the time. Do you have a best friend that you like to hang out with?

Jesus is your friend as well as your God. Just relax and enjoy His company. He loves that!

You don't have to work so hard at it. Honest! Remember He said:

Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.


​

 

[kicker]

Hey yall. Seen the therapist today and had a good visit. She believes I definitely have ocd and she prescribed me anafranil and ativan (was already taking ativan). She also believes I'm saved which is just hard to believe with the way I feel towards God lately but I hope she is right and that this stuff will let me breathe soon. Thanks for your prayers, I have really needed them. I haven't really mentioned this yet but yuki asked in the last post if I had a best friend to hang out with. I have my wife and kids that I do everything with and I have great friends in our small church but I have lost everyone of my golfing buddies in the last nine years (three in the last five). All died of massive heart attacks unexpectedly. As a result I have only played twice in the last two and a half years because it has lost a lot of its joy without them. I know this has really affected me even though I don't admit it to anyone except yall. I am supposed to go with someone tomorrow so I hope some of the happiness will eventually come back. Pray for me that God will put a good friend outside of my family into my life again. I have felt a little jinxed in that area. Take care yall and keep praying

Love
James

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Hey James, that's great news! I'm so happy you had a good visit with the therapist. Anafranil is supposed to be a good med for OCD. I know what you mean about not feeling like you have many friends besides your spouse. Through life circumstances (and also becoming a stronger Christian) many of my friends I had during college have moved away or we can no longer relate about life anymore. It is tough, and makes me depressed sometimes. We do need that interaction with friends outside of our marriage, especially same-sex friends, since our spouse can't possibly meet all of our needs!

My heart goes out to you because I am in the same position... praying for friends and wishing I had some strong Christian friends who accepted me and are in the same timeline of life that I'm in (newly married, no kids, full time job). Friends that will uplift and be joyful in life. I will pray for you that God will bring you friends to uplift you and that you develop strong Christian friendships - especially golfing buddies!