Childless Marriages

[Im_A]

Reading through the Theology forums I was appalled at how many people thought that couples who chose not to have children were living in sin. Of course, I'd love to have children when I get married, but I'm not going to pass judgement on someone who decides they don't. I think that's just going a bit too far.

Anybody else feel the same?

i don't read the Theology Forum, but from what you described, i would describe that as very appalling.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

I think I could be a very good Dad, actually. But I think I'd be better off if I serve the Lord in other ways. I would be open to having kids if I got married, though.

 

[Luther073082]

I think that the idea that people who get married but decide not to have children is a sin is very very close to being a Judaizer.

There are way too many churchs who want to add in extra biblical rules and laws in a way it seems to make sure that everyone in their church is all the same. Several churchs teach against dancing. . . WHAT??? "Because it might lead to sex or lust". . . Well freaking going to church could lead to lust cause there are women there.

Its time to stop laying down extra-biblical rules and laws trying to tell Christians how to live their lives. A church should preach only the word of God.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Judging someone who decided not have children is like judging someone who decided not to have an icecream......

Its stupid but people like that always think that they are right, and there is no proving them wrong.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Oh and I find that it arises from a fear of anyone who is different.

I guess all those nuns who went in at a young age and didn't have children are burning in Hell right now...............? Sure....okay.

 

[stephanieamber]

Everyone has their own convictions; we are all different and our relationships with the Lord are different. Some he calls to be CEOs, others he calls to be janitors. The BIGGEST mistake we can make is to assume our calling is the same across the board. We are all living under our own convictions.

In the same way that you are appalled by their thinking it is awful to not have kids in marriage, they might be appalled by your thinking.

The point of this isn't to determine who is "right" and who is "wrong." That is not the key issue. At the heart of this is just a question of personal convictions and how we should let them play into our lives and affect the standards we hold for others.

Personal opinion.

 

[GlennK]

are not for me.

 

[Love233]

Reading through the Theology forums I was appalled at how many people thought that couples who chose not to have children were living in sin. Of course, I'd love to have children when I get married, but I'm not going to pass judgement on someone who decides they don't. I think that's just going a bit too far.

Anybody else feel the same?

That's crazy, they're Married! They aren't "living in sin" just because a couple people think they are. People like that annoy me to no end thinking they have all the answers or something. GOD DECIDES who is right and wrong it's not up to anyone else anyway!! We each being human have our own sins so who among us should decide or has the right to decide 'ya surely they're going to hell'.??! If someone thinks someone is sinning pray for the sinner ...and for themselves

 

[Balugon]

Human beings have an innate desire to have children.

You assume this is a truth for all mankind, which isnt necessarily so. Some people have an innate desire to be adventurous and take on the world, others have an innate desire to study it from afar. Neither is wrong, God made a variety of people, because we each have our role.

As for me, i dont have an innate desire to have children. Im not fighting any deep inner longings and trying to shove them down so i can do something else- they arent there. On the contrary, i have a lot of dreams and hopes and passions i plan to fulfill, and yes, i do plan on getting married. But a child would just cause problems with my plans, and it would be another human in existance that i would have to cater to. Id rather just avoid it and not have that extra string attached to me.

Now the only issue is do i wait and see if this passes over a couple years and simply hope that the normal means of birth control hold out, or do i not mess around and make sure it works- getting a vasectomy and then living with the consequences regardless.

Mind u, im going to be a middle school teacher as a profession, so ill have plenty of little squirts to deal with all day long.

But i havent even met ma lady yet, so i still might have plenty of time before i even have to decide, which is somewhat good in a way.

 

[Mikeb85]

I guess all those nuns who went in at a young age and didn't have children are burning in Hell right now...............? Sure....okay.

There's a very big difference between living a celibate lifestyle without children - and being married, having sex, but not desiring kids...

 

[EazyMack]

There's a very big difference between living a celibate lifestyle without children - and being married, having sex, but not desiring kids...

True.

But still.

 

[Mikeb85]

I guess all those nuns who went in at a young age and didn't have children are burning in Hell right now...............? Sure....okay.

By the way, the irony here is that the churches which promote procreation in marriage the most (Catholic and Orthodox), are also the same churches which encourage monasticism the most...

 

[HighwayMan]

yes, because the Earth certainly needs more people.

 

[Wren]

I think that the idea that people who get married but decide not to have children is a sin is very very close to being a Judaizer.

There are way too many churches who want to add in extra biblical rules and laws in a way it seems to make sure that everyone in their church is all the same. Several churchs teach against dancing. . . WHAT??? "Because it might lead to sex or lust". . . Well freaking going to church could lead to lust cause there are women there.

Its time to stop laying down extra-biblical rules and laws trying to tell Christians how to live their lives. A church should preach only the word of God.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

I think that the idea that people who get married but decide not to have children is a sin is very very close to being a Judaizer.

There are way too many churchs who want to add in extra biblical rules and laws in a way it seems to make sure that everyone in their church is all the same. Several churchs teach against dancing. . . WHAT??? "Because it might lead to sex or lust". . . Well freaking going to church could lead to lust cause there are women there.

Its time to stop laying down extra-biblical rules and laws trying to tell Christians how to live their lives. A church should preach only the word of God.

Believe me, I know exactly what you mean.

Somebody my age though has to assume that if they marry someone else around that age that children are probably out of the picture by now. I wonder if those people that think childless marriages are sinful would tell me that I have no business getting married? I bet some of them would.

 

[Sketcher]

yes, because the Earth certainly needs more people.

Being as we're industrialized, I don't see how the overpopulation people can point at us and say we're the problem.

 

[Luther073082]

By the way, the irony here is that the churches which promote procreation in marriage the most (Catholic and Orthodox), are also the same churches which encourage monasticism the most...

But here is the other irony.

The OT says basically fill the earth.

The NT allows the freedom to choose celibecy. I think its pretty hypocritical to go with the NT saying ok we can have celibates.

But then if you get married to rush over to the OT grab that fill the earth verse and tell people its their job to try to have children.

I think what we have here is another question of call. And I belive some people are called to be married but not called to be parents. Just because someone can do something doesn't mean they are called to do it.