Child whose parent has died

[Tini]

A dad in our church was killed in a car accident on Sunday after church. His 7 y.o. son was in the car with him - was bruised badly but is back at home.

Any advice on how I can help him now and into the future. I know we as a church need to support the "fatherless" - but it cracks me up when I hear that he keeps asking for his daddy!

 

[BeanMak]

My kids lost their dad when they were 10 and 12. I wish there was someone who would have taken them to ball games, or fishing, or camp outs. I did it all, but it isn't the same with your mom.

 

[Tini]

Thanks BeanMak

I really feel that us guys and fathers in the church should do more for the "fatherless" kids (even teenagers) in the church community. I'm sure it makes a difference in them. There are some things that only guys seem to do well together.

I can still remmeber the times I fished with my grandad in the sea - even though I cant rememer catching a single fish!

 

[BeanMak]

God's blessings on you Tini.

 

[mamaneenie]

Offer to take him fishing, or camping, or even to come to your place and have a game in the back yard or something, a trip to the park all that stuff that kids love to do with their dads.

Do you have kids of your own? Then maybe just do stuff you normally do with your own kids and invite him along.

I know what you mean about kids needing their dad. My son is nearly 3 and my husband has just started a full time job after working casual for nearly 9mths. After my husband comes home and has a little time to himself, I usually just let them have time together and wrestle on the loungeroom floor or something.

 

[mojorising]

How sad!
I will say a prayer for him. Maybe offer a request on the prayer thread here. He will have much support, as will you for asking.

mojo

 

[DIVAMOM]

Be there for his mom, too. She could probably really use a hand around the house fixing things or moving boxes. That way he sees his mom with you and learns to trust you. Then, he'll start trusting you so that you can forge a bond. I would want someone to step in the gap for my children if my husband died, especially just to give them an outlet to play and be kids again. Bless you for helping. (My husband is a soldier, so I try not to think about these things too much...it's too close to home.)

 

[retooferab]

So sad.

This little guy probably does not comprehend the finality of death for our human bodies, and I cry too thinking about him asking for his daddy.

It's difficult to advise someone in your position since all circumstances are different. I can only say with certainty to pray and listen... pray and listen... pray and listen... God will direct your path. Being focused on God will allow you to be the perfect instrument for this litttle boy and his family.

God bless you!

 

[Katydid]

Divamom, you and I both. I started tearing up as soon as I read this post. My husband is a soldier as well, and we have to consider these things. If something happened to my husband, he said he would like to know that someone would be there to teach our sons how to catch and throw a football. Ride a bike. Go camping. And do things like, change a tire, change the oil in the car etc. Someone to teach them to be Godly men. I will be praying for this child and his mother, and the entire church community. Many times men can become complacent (I am not accusing as I know many aren't) in their churches, and I hope that you, Tini, can lead these men into an active role in this child's life. A male role model is one of the most important things a young boy can have. If you don't step up, then he may end up with a role model like Eminem. Thank you for caring for this family.

 

[okiemommy26]

I agree with the rest, and i agree with Diva mom, help out the mom too. The family is in my prayers.

 

[Tini]

Went to the funeral on Saturday. Was really emotional. What got to me was Michel (the son of 5) playing with his car at the foot of his dad's coffin during the service. His foot was still in a cast - he was in the car during the accident.

 

[DIVAMOM]

Tini,

I know this may sound like a BFO, but have you asked the Lord what He would have you do? This little boy needs someone so bad, but if it's not you, then your job here may be different. If you haven't laid this at the Lord's feet, please do so immediately. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and let Him lead your steps with this family. God bless you!