Child Support Payments?

[BigDaddy4]

My wife has 2 kids from a previous marriage and is receiving child support from her ex. Her ex is not responsible enough just to write a check on his own, so his wages are garnished by the state. Those payments have been directly deposited into our mutual checking account.

However, recently, my wife and I had a disagreement, partly of which included finances, and she stopped the direct deposit and is receiving the payments via some other way (paypal I think, but she won't tell me). She did this claiming the money is for the kids only. Well, our WA state law says it is to be used for basic necessities like food, clothing, and shelter. We have yet to resolve our differences on this.

My question is, for those who are receiving, or are married to someone who is receiving child support (or spousal, too, I guess), do you share that with your spouse, or do you keep that separate? If separate, do you give a portion to household expenses and how does that work?

 

[Autumnleaf]

If she's hiding money from you you better watch out.

 

[Conservativation]

States garnish checks of almost everyone...nothing to do with responsibility...it has to do with Federal matching funds for every dollar "collected"...so, they simply toss everyone into the collected pot and get more $.

The system is a huge racket now filled with perverse incentives

 

[jham123]

Yeah, when funds are being hidden, nothing good can come of it.

 

[Luther073082]

Shouldn't that money all go into the same pot which in turn feeds and takes care of the children?

I would be a bit concerned.

 

[BigDaddy4]

States garnish checks of almost everyone...nothing to do with responsibility...it has to do with Federal matching funds for every dollar "collected"...so, they simply toss everyone into the collected pot and get more $.

The system is a huge racket now filled with perverse incentives

Actually, it does have everything to do with responsibility. I pay my child support on-time, every month, without having to have a check garnished.

Her ex, when he was working, would not pay her on a regular basis. At one point, he was $20k in the hole on payments. She was forced to go through the state to garnish wages.

 

[BigDaddy4]

Shouldn't that money all go into the same pot which in turn feeds and takes care of the children?

I would be a bit concerned.

Exactly what I've been trying to tell her. And I am concerned. There are issues that she is looking into going to counseling about.

I came up with a spreadsheet with all our expenses and what each household members "share" should be. The total for them exceeds what we actually receive. She is considering what that means and we'll talk again in the next day or so.

 

[Conservativation]

Actually, it does have everything to do with responsibility. I pay my child support on-time, every month, without having to have a check garnished.

Her ex, when he was working, would not pay her on a regular basis. At one point, he was $20k in the hole on payments. She was forced to go through the state to garnish wages.

well sorry ..... some states have it where you MUST go thru them. I didnt mean to speak into your deal.

The system IS however badly perverse. That has nothing to do with saying folks shouldn't pay child support at all. Its just when the state makes a racket of it, its perverse.

I have no experience personally thankfully

 

[janman345]

Actually, it does have everything to do with responsibility. I pay my child support on-time, every month, without having to have a check garnished.

Her ex, when he was working, would not pay her on a regular basis. At one point, he was $20k in the hole on payments. She was forced to go through the state to garnish wages.

Why should the man make it easy for the woman to extort him. I know men who have had to quit jobs to work under the table because they could not save any money with their money being garnished and were living from pay check to pay check, so when they were laid off they had no savings. It depends strongly on the award amounts on how hard the man is going to make it on the mom. Im sure some turn to illegal activity to live a quality of life that they are accustomed to, pre-child support.

If she is hiding moeny and you are providing shelter for HER kids then thats an issue, I would also look at how much money she is extorting from her ex. If its between 300-400 then thats probably reasonable, if its 400-4 figure I would dump her quick as she is an extortion artist.

Also you want to look at why she separated from her ex because you could end up being the next guy she extorts child support from, some women do this as a way of life so they dont have to work. Of course it takes longer for a garnishment than it does for her to be evicted. Also if you work at a 1099 contractor you can make 100$/month payment to keep them from throwing you in jail or taking your drivers licence and they can not garnish contractor pay. Make sure you get paid by the hour and if your pay check changes you will walk off the job.

 

[BigDaddy4]

Why should the man make it easy for the woman to extort him.

Enough said. Holding a man responsible for his legal obligations is not extortion. Don't do the deed if you're unwilling to pay the price. Personal responsibility.

 

[janman345]

Enough said. Holding a man responsible for his legal obligations is not extortion. Don't do the deed if you're unwilling to pay the price. Personal responsibility.

there is a financial limit where responsibility ends and the extortion begins, it has been determined by the fed gov that that number is about 300-400$ per parent. So if the award amount is more based on the fact that the man is a high wage earner, it is in fact extortion.

Regardless, he most likely needs to get away from her, it will be cheaper to hire a prostitute twice a week than to pay for a mistake with her, espeically if he is a high wage earner. Or just find a better GF.

 

[~Lynz~]

my ex pays me money every week fro my children and it goes on playing for rent, food, etc etc. right now im a student so do not have and extra income. how ever once i do start earning money from the good paying job i expect after my studying i plan to spilt the money my ex gives me and put it in to there saving accounts.

 

[Scorponok]

There is a lot of misunderstanding on what child support is for. The money is ever meant to be given to the child. It's for reimbursement to the primary parent (the one receiving the payments) for what they spent on raising their child.

I've been apart of some law forums that touched down on this when posters would come in complaining that the parent receiving the funds would go out and spend it on things they wanted to and not the child. They have that right as long as the child is being raised right and has all it's need (not wants) being fulfilled that money that is being reimbursed can go for whatever the receiver wants.

With that being said I can understand you being upset that the money is being separated, especially if that is all that is being separated. Where does the money come from when you're feeding this child? To pay for the larger living space, and increase in utilities? If it's coming out of both of your monies in one account then the child support payments should be going back into that same account and not a separate one.

 

[BigDaddy4]

well sorry ..... some states have it where you MUST go thru them. I didnt mean to speak into your deal.

No worries.

The system IS however badly perverse. That has nothing to do with saying folks shouldn't pay child support at all. Its just when the state makes a racket of it, its perverse.

I have no experience personally thankfully

Having no experience, I don't know how you can make the judgement call that the system is badly perverse. I'm part of the system and I don't see what you're talking about.

 

[BigDaddy4]

there is a financial limit where responsibility ends and the extortion begins, it has been determined by the fed gov that that number is about 300-400$ per parent. So if the award amount is more based on the fact that the man is a high wage earner, it is in fact extortion.

Regardless, he most likely needs to get away from her, it will be cheaper to hire a prostitute twice a week than to pay for a mistake with her, espeically if he is a high wage earner. Or just find a better GF.

Show me where the fed. govt. puts a limit on it. It's the states responsibility, so you're off target right away.

I love how you have all the answers to your world. What color is the sky there?

 

[janman345]

Feds determined a value to raise a kid from birth to age 18, divide by 18, divide by 12 and divide by 2. You come up with about 300-400 per parent anything beyond that is a racket and is tant amount to extortion so that SHE can lead a life style that she does not earn.

 

[BigDaddy4]

There is a lot of misunderstanding on what child support is for. The money is ever meant to be given to the child. It's for reimbursement to the primary parent (the one receiving the payments) for what they spent on raising their child.

I've been apart of some law forums that touched down on this when posters would come in complaining that the parent receiving the funds would go out and spend it on things they wanted to and not the child. They have that right as long as the child is being raised right and has all it's need (not wants) being fulfilled that money that is being reimbursed can go for whatever the receiver wants.

With that being said I can understand you being upset that the money is being separated, especially if that is all that is being separated. Where does the money come from when you're feeding this child? To pay for the larger living space, and increase in utilities? If it's coming out of both of your monies in one account then the child support payments should be going back into that same account and not a separate one.

All our bills do come out of one account. And her kids do not go without. When I asked her what it is that they are lacking, her only response was school clothes and haircuts. Well, we bought them some school clothes last year and their dad gives them haircuts when they are with him (I think there is some resentment about that because she feels he cuts their hair way too short. She even dislikes it when I cut mine short).

I am praying for God to enlighten her to His will in this situation.

 

[janman345]

Show me where the fed. govt. puts a limit on it. It's the states responsibility, so you're off target right away.

I love how you have all the answers to your world. What color is the sky there?

I have reported this post, you should try to refrain from snide remarks.

 

[BigDaddy4]

Feds determined a value to raise a kid from birth to age 18, divide by 18, divide by 12 and divide by 2. You come up with about 300-400 per parent anything beyond that is a racket and is tant amount to extortion so that SHE can lead a life style that she does not earn.

Right. And please show me where that information is. Because my state, Washington state, has a different way of determining it.

I won't hold my breath, as you have a difficult time backing up whatever you say with actual evidence.

 

[BigDaddy4]

I have reported this post, you should try to refrain from snide remarks.

Your posts do not reflect, nor take into account, reality.

It seems you are the self-appointed content gestapo, as you reported another poster for trolling when it clearly was not. If it makes you feel better, then go for it.