Chesalon (fortress)

[Eldaah]

I recently wrote a short story-type thing, and I was wondering if it's any good. So, will someone read it and tell me what you think. I'd be very grateful if sopmeone would read it, because I want an unbiased opinion. Here's the link:

http://www.geocities.com/eldaah_ii/Chesalon.htmlhttp://www.geocities.com/eldaah_ii/chesalon.html

Thanks.

 

[Eldaah]

Will someone please read it and tell me what you think? Please?

 

[Eldaah]

I suppose no one is going to.

 

[Eldaah]

Come on, please??????

 

[Lessien]

Not bad. Just one question: Did you intend it to be an allegorical short story, or more of a devotional sort of thing?

 

[Eldaah]

Ummm... I actually didn't intend anything about it. I just felt the urge to write about something I was dealing with, and I did. I am not a good writer at all normally.
I suppose it's sort of allegorical, but it sort of has reality in it as well. It's not supposed to be on Earth. It's supposed to be in the spiritual world or something. I'm not entirely sure.

BTW, I'm doubtless's brother, and unfortunately, I don't share his skill for writing.

 

[Lessien]

Ummm... I actually didn't intend anything about it. I just felt the urge to write about something I was dealing with, and I did. I am not a good writer at all normally.

If you feel like writing about something you're dealing with, go for it!

I suppose it's sort of allegorical, but it sort of has reality in it as well. It's not supposed to be on Earth. It's supposed to be in the spiritual world or something. I'm not entirely sure.

It sounded to me like it was set in the spiritual realm, showing what goes on in the battlefield we don't see. That's just how it struck me.

BTW, I'm doubtless's brother, and unfortunately, I don't share his skill for writing.

Nice to meet you! I've met Doubtless before (well, on here)....

 

[Eldaah]

If you feel like writing about something you're dealing with, go for it!

It sounded to me like it was set in the spiritual realm, showing what goes on in the battlefield we don't see. That's just how it struck me.

Yeah that's how I think of it as well, I just didn't know how to say it exactly. lol.

Nice to meet you! I've met Doubtless before (well, on here)....

I know. lol. That's why I said that. Well, thanks for your opinion on it. I'm very grateful.

 

[Lessien]

Yeah. I thought it was good, and I just asked what it was intended as because you could easily turn it into an allegorical short story, if you wanted to.

 

[Eldaah]

Yep, I understand. Thanks.