I am a Christian college student. In the fall semester, I was in a somewhat bad place. I couldn't find the motivation or purpose to do my schoolwork. Other sin in my life such as lust (manifested in viewing inappropriate contentography) made me have much shame. In the heat of a final exam, the one concept I had not studied came up. I accepted that I would probably get that wrong. However, there was additionally a question about one of the studies we had read that should be easy points. I wasn't certain about my answer so I slipped out to use the restroom and confirmed that it was the study I thought it was via my cell phone.
A day later, I was in another exam. I felt like I was doing really poorly on the exam. One question that I felt the professor had not taught was on the exam. Already feeling in a place of shame, I went to the bathroom to check my phone but wasn't able to find adequate information to answer the question, only to throw down a few supplementary details to get a point or two. On both tests, it seems like I would have gotten virtually the same grade.
This was not the behavior or integrity that I felt people knew me for. That same week, I repented for my actions and asked God for forgiveness. I felt that was adequate at the time.
I recently studied the book of Mark and it talked about "those who save their life lose it, and those who lose their life for Jesus' sake will save it." This final exam period came back up for me and I wondered if additional steps needed to be taken. A feeling of anxiety has come back to me and I wonder if that is just me trying to hold on to my life as I know it. If I report these incidents, I will most likely be suspended for a semester and potentially expelled from the school.
Am I forgiven as I am? Do I need to take additional steps? What should I do?
A day later, I was in another exam. I felt like I was doing really poorly on the exam. One question that I felt the professor had not taught was on the exam. Already feeling in a place of shame, I went to the bathroom to check my phone but wasn't able to find adequate information to answer the question, only to throw down a few supplementary details to get a point or two. On both tests, it seems like I would have gotten virtually the same grade.
This was not the behavior or integrity that I felt people knew me for. That same week, I repented for my actions and asked God for forgiveness. I felt that was adequate at the time.
I recently studied the book of Mark and it talked about "those who save their life lose it, and those who lose their life for Jesus' sake will save it." This final exam period came back up for me and I wondered if additional steps needed to be taken. A feeling of anxiety has come back to me and I wonder if that is just me trying to hold on to my life as I know it. If I report these incidents, I will most likely be suspended for a semester and potentially expelled from the school.
Am I forgiven as I am? Do I need to take additional steps? What should I do?
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