changing parishes

If 'friendliness' were the deciding factor, then I have no doubt most of us would end up being Mormons over being wherever we happen to be, but then think what we'd have to believe and do! No thank you!

dzheremi said:

If 'friendliness' were the deciding factor, then I have no doubt most of us would end up being Mormons over being wherever we happen to be, but then think what we'd have to believe and do! No thank you!

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I never would have left the AoG parish I visited in college

I really think the person you should consult about this is your spiritual Father.

Lukaris said:

A welcoming attitude, I think, does not have to involve elaborate external procedures. A nod or a hello probably does much to help someone feel welcome. I think most inquirers aren’t expecting to be smothered with greetings etc. At the same time, some parishes are socially charismatic ( I mean in being welcoming) & can draw someone in and that it is great but shouldn’t try to be rehearsed. Obviously these transcend ethnicity so really the ethnicity of the parish is fine.

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This is a fact. I've been Orthodox since 2006 and still get the cold shoulder from particularly ethnic parishes. Sure, there's 25 or so Orthodox parishes in the DC area, but some have made it very clear that because I'm not Russian or Greek, I am not only not welcome, but will never be. And they will not be happy with me dating their young people because, again, I'm not Russian or Greek because apparently fulfilling an ethnic requirement is more important then being part of the same religion./s

dzheremi said:

If 'friendliness' were the deciding factor, then I have no doubt most of us would end up being Mormons over being wherever we happen to be, but then think what we'd have to believe and do! No thank you!

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HA! I went to a high school of 1,200 that was about 20% Mormon. Trust me, the veneer of friendliness is about as thick as a blade of grass. When those kids found out that I left Catholicism for Orthodoxy they sent the missionary daters on me full time for a while (something about "betraying Christianity" )

E.C. said:

HA! I went to a high school of 1,200 that was about 20% Mormon. Trust me, the veneer of friendliness is about as thick as a blade of grass.

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Yeah. I put the word friendliness in scare quotes for a reason there.

When those kids found out that I left Catholicism for Orthodoxy they sent the missionary daters on me full time for a while (something about "betraying Christianity" )

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Yeah, how dare you betray Christianity in the wrong way by not becoming Mormon!

E.C. said:

When those kids found out that I left Catholicism for Orthodoxy they sent the missionary daters on me full time for a while (something about "betraying Christianity" )

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dzheremi said:

Yeah, how dare you betray Christianity in the wrong way by not becoming Mormon!

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how dare you be all historically consistent and what not!

This might not be what you want to hear and it might fly in the face of some of the other advice around here.

Switching parishes is not something to take lightly, especially as someone who was only baptized/chrismated into the faith a year ago. ALL of these feelings and thoughts within you are of the Evil One. Stop trusting them.

Are you following a diligent prayer rule (Morning/Evening Prayers) set forth by your priest? Are you regularly attending confession? Are you following the prescribed fasts (weekly or otherwise)? Are you attending services regularly?

Those are just the start of the questions for you to answer. Be truthful with yourself as you ask yourself how many of those questions above you answered NO to. Maybe we should all ask ourselves such questions.

You're trying to walk this path without spiritual guidance. It leads to ruin (myself and plenty of others around here know how well that works). Switching parishes is NOT going to quell these feelings within you. Seeing perceived slights in "ethnic" parishes after visiting them once or twice is not an accurate assessment of those parishes either. It says far more about your faith than theirs (forgive me for judging but it's true). The Evil One has found a weapon to use against you and right now it's working. Get back to church asap AND go talk to your priest. I assure you he has seen such thoughts and struggles in his parishioners more than once.

Go talk to your priest at the Western Rite church. Have an actual ongoing dialogue with him about your feelings. Only AFTER working through some of these thoughts and feelings with him (which will almost certainly undercover what is really going on underneath) should you consider switching parishes.

ArseniusTheSilent said:

Go talk to your priest at the Western Rite church. Have an actual ongoing dialogue with him about your feelings. Only AFTER working through some of these thoughts and feelings with him (which will almost certainly undercover what is really going on underneath) should you consider switching parishes.

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great point

prodigal5000 said:

I would like to thank all of you for taking the time out to reply I truly appreciate it. I fully understand that the main and most import thing about going to church is the sacraments, but I also think going to a church where you don't feel like a fraction of a fraction is important.

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This I understand quite a bit.

When I first moved to the Beltway I was attending a ROCOR parish with my roommate and moved on after about four months of it. There were two reasons for this. 1) By carpooling with my roommate it got him away from another parish in the region that has some very toxic people and 2) a cultural clash. Now the second one isn't simply a "Russian culture vs American culture" thing. It was because despite this parish having 3rd/4th generation Americans of Russian decent, they have a very superior impression of themselves and an equally low impression of American culture. That is, unless you are one of those American converts that think Putin is a great leader for giving the right lip service against things like abortion and whatnot. I am not one of those. I also have the further complication of preferring the New Calendar over the Old Calendar for cultural and personal reasons, part of which involve the fact that Christ and I can share a birthday on the New (done it my whole life, it's not changing). Yet that laity of that parish had such a hostile view of anyone on the New Calendar that frankly I probably felt close to what a minority would feel like at a Klan rally when they don't know that he's there.

Is it the same sacraments between the two parishes, the old one and my current one? Yes. Is one "more Orthodox" or "more holy" then the other? No. Are they both canonical? Yes. However, one made it clear to me that should they learn some of my opinions on certain topics I would not be welcomed there. One made it clear to me that one ethnic group is relegated to second-class citizen status. One made it clear to me that while it may be a part of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, I would never truly be accepted unless I became a Russophile or a far-right conservative. I am neither one.


With that, talk to your priests. Talk to the Western Rite priest first. Air your grievances because he can not do his part of fix them if he does not know that a problem exists. If you do decide to switch parishes, keep in mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I've lived in seven states, both US coasts, visited close to 100 parishes of (almost) every jurisdiction, and have been a tithing member of three jurisdictions. Each and ever parish has its problems and no two parishes within a jurisdiction are the same.

prodigal5000 said:

Hello everybody I know its late but I really need some outside advice, I've been a member of the orthodox church for year now baptized and Chrismated. I was received through the western rite church antiochoan there is only 4 orthodox churches in my city Serbian,Greek, Antiochian eastern rite and Anitochian western rite. I was drawn to the faith number one because I found the truth the full truth and the second reason was the absolute beauty of the church from the chanting, communion, architect ect. I'm missing all of that and while the service at the western rite is beautiful I feel no connection to it and I keep trying but my attendance is spotty i just don’t t feel anything for it it feels like its this isolated island while every other orthodox christian has something I'm missing. I tried to visit the antiochian church but it was not welcoming. I want to try the greek parish but I'm nervous any advice would be welcomed.

please excuse any grammatical errors

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Some very ignorant answers here. You should feel comfortable where you go/affiliate with. If you have a choice, then by all means, chose. If you don't have a choice, then as was said, make the best of it, but things can change quickly.
As to communities, I think it largely depends on the tone of the priest, and then the existing diversity of the communicants and the general education level/worldliness (in a good way) of the "dominant or founding" ethnics. Greek Americans have been very successful. They are not all from recent village life in Greece. (And that is totally different from the past - villages are population poor - and perhaps rare today.)
As to the Greeks, I have experience with six communities for a few/several years each in a wide geographic area. I had one priest who was on the surface welcoming, but below the surface had backward ideas of what is a "Christian" (too ethnic). An Arab Orthodox called him out in Church. It was beautiful. I had another that wasn't a Christian (or at least not an Orthodox priest) in another way (too much to go into). The rest (more than one at several locations) were good/great. The parish organizations are much more robust and welcoming than anything in the past (I am older).
A wordy way of saying, as all things, "this too shall pass". Try to connect - be proactive - as much as you hope to be connected/welcomed.
I finished another Reply and cited this church in my answer (I am simply a viewer), but offer the following link as an example of how the Greeks [can] handle their parish affairs. Go to the last 11 minutes or so and you'll see. The Church, Holy Transfiguration in Marietta, GA - suburb of Atlanta - has wonderful Liturgics with an amazing chanter (psalte), which may be the thing you are missing in the western rite. EDIT Media removed. I cannot find it, but be assured that there are welcoming GO parishes.
Hope your next parish is welcoming.

prodigal5000 said:

I would like to thank all of you for taking the time out to reply I truly appreciate it. I fully understand that the main and most import thing about going to church is the sacraments, but I also think going to a church where you don't feel like a fraction of a fraction is important. The western rite is small I feel cut off from the rest of orthodoxy. If I could go back I would have just gone to the greek church first ,but I contacted the Antiochian church multiple times and never received a call or email back so I stuck with the one who did contact me back the western rite church. I wish there was an oca church in my city but its not so. Im not from chicago some of my family is from there I don't want to cause scandle or upset in case I ran into a church member on here lol.

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Why can't you go back to the Greek Church? And I don't understand the need to get a call back - ? My best advice is to attend the service(s), then meet the priest, and if all is okay (minimum) then try to fit in. But don't rush the process. I am lost and without more info, I can't help beyond what I gave for what it is worth.

I think Mitt Romney puts the lie to the stereotype that Mormons are nice.

Chesterton said:

I think Mitt Romney puts the lie to the stereotype that Mormons are nice.

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Bringham Young put that to rest in the early days

ArmyMatt said:

Bringham Young put that to rest in the early days

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Humorous ideas come to mind at your spelling of the name...

rusmeister said:

Humorous ideas come to mind at your spelling of the name...

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haha, oops. Brigham Young.