changing parishes

prodigal5000

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Hello everybody I know its late but I really need some outside advice, I've been a member of the orthodox church for year now baptized and Chrismated. I was received through the western rite church antiochoan there is only 4 orthodox churches in my city Serbian,Greek, Antiochian eastern rite and Anitochian western rite. I was drawn to the faith number one because I found the truth the full truth and the second reason was the absolute beauty of the church from the chanting, communion, architect ect. I'm missing all of that and while the service at the western rite is beautiful I feel no connection to it and I keep trying but my attendance is spotty i just don’t t feel anything for it it feels like its this isolated island while every other orthodox christian has something I'm missing. I tried to visit the antiochian church but it was not welcoming. I want to try the greek parish but I'm nervous any advice would be welcomed.

please excuse any grammatical errors
 
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ArmyMatt

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just remember your primary reason to go is for the sacraments. as off as this might sound, the friendliness of the parish has to be secondary.

that said, you could check out the parish websites. if you see there are a ton of non-Greeks at the Greek parish, then it’s a good bet that you should be welcomed.

hope that makes sense.
 
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prodigal5000

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just remember your primary reason to go is for the sacraments. as off as this might sound, the friendliness of the parish has to be secondary.

that said, you could check out the parish websites. if you see there are a ton of non-Greeks at the Greek parish, then it’s a good bet that you should be welcomed.

hope that makes sense.
I agree Father about the sacraments but I sometimes feel its not the same because of how its given. I logically know thats not true but it's just a nagging thought.
 
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rusmeister

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I would strongly encourage you to put your feelings in a chest and lock it.
When I became Orthodox, it was CS Lewis who was my co-pilot, and he helped me, warning against looking for what one feels inside oneself, generating a “factory of feelings”, if you will. We don’t go to church in search of feelings. We go because we are convinced that the Faith is true, that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that we need to repent and be baptized, and receive the sacraments. Feelings come and go. They are a dangerous, and even deadly way to conduct one’s life. The Eucharist isn’t going to magically create good feelings when you walk away from the Chalice (though you might get lucky and experience such feelings on occasion). Sometimes you’ll feel like wood. It doesn’t matter. At those moments, your will must govern your feelings, and you must set your will to do what you ought to, regardless of those fickle feelings.
 
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ArmyMatt

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I agree Father about the sacraments but I sometimes feel its not the same because of how its given. I logically know thats not true but it's just a nagging thought.

sure, and I am not saying it’s easy. just always remember the real reason you are there. folks being welcoming is a helpful, but secondary reason.
 
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Lukaris

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Our parish priest replied to my email:


Hi Ed,
Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.
Do you know where this person is from? I feel bad that she had a bad experience in one of our churches. Usually our parishes are eager to welcome someone coming to the church. Just from what I have heard from others, including family members, Greek and Serbian Churches are not very welcoming either. Again, it depends on where they are located, how ethnic they are and often who the Priest is. If I knew where she was trying to attend, I could possibly contact our priest there. I think an OCA church would probably also be more inviting than the Greek or Serbian as they tend to be less ethnic. Her location may also determine how she is welcomed. Many of the parishes on the East Coast are very ethnic as opposed to parishes in the midwest for instance.
I would encourage her to try again and not be put off by just a one time experience.
Wish I could be of more help.
Fr.



I believe you are in the Chicago area? Our priest indicated that if you could provide more info in the area you are in, he might be able to contact some other clergy.
 
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Lukaris

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Another email from our parish priest:




Hi Ed,
If she is in the Chicago area and went to our parish there in Cicero, it is very ethnic. The people may not have been welcoming to her there. I think there is an OCA parish near there that started as a mission and I think they would be welcoming. She can check oca.org and look for a parish in the area. A good friend of ours was a priest there and a former seminarian assigned to my parish in Danbury was the choir director for a while and they both liked the parish. I think they are more mission minded.
Fr.
 
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rusmeister

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I think it worth throwing in the observation that “ethnic” parishes in the sense expressed here are not so “welcoming” in huge part not because they are cold and self-centered, but because their cultures see “welcoming” as intrusive, and their business there being to worship God rather than engage in fellowship. You’ll sometimes find the fellowship to a degree in the parish house “coffee hour” afterwards, when they have such a thing.
 
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ArmyMatt

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I think it worth throwing in the observation that “ethnic” parishes in the sense expressed here are not so “welcoming” in huge part not because they are cold and self-centered, but because their cultures see “welcoming” as intrusive, and their business there being to worship God rather than engage in fellowship. You’ll sometimes find the fellowship to a degree in the parish house “coffee hour” afterwards, when they have such a thing.

good point, rus
 
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Lukaris

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I think it really comes down to attitude but since Orthodoxy in America has a strong ethnic presence, ethnicity often shapes the understanding of it’s presence.

A welcoming attitude, I think, does not have to involve elaborate external procedures. A nod or a hello probably does much to help someone feel welcome. I think most inquirers aren’t expecting to be smothered with greetings etc. At the same time, some parishes are socially charismatic ( I mean in being welcoming) & can draw someone in and that it is great but shouldn’t try to be rehearsed. Obviously these transcend ethnicity so really the ethnicity of the parish is fine.

Our Antiochian ( Syrian) parish is like 4 generations in America and we still retain a sense of Arabic identity. Some of this is is just natural and also in worship in which much is actually beneficial. We could stand to do more in the great commission although we gain a few new people here & there. Americans of of various backgrounds and new Syrians in America ( even a woman who was Muslim). Our primary liturgy is in English although our major hymns ( Trisagion, Cherubim etc. ) rotate weekly & various order, at times, to much Arabic ( & some Greek, Slavonic etc.). We pray the Lord’s Prayer in English & Arabic. I’m descended from Arabs & American colonists, so, in some minor ways, I think I sense both sides in this.
 

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ArmyMatt

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did the saint make it? and what did he base it upon?

no, he blessed off on it as a temporary way to witness to Anglicans. it’s basically the traditional Episcopal service with the errors taken out. as far as I know, it was never meant to be a permanent thing.
 
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We don’t go to church in search of feelings. We go because we are convinced that the Faith is true, that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that we need to repent and be baptized, and receive the sacraments.

amen a million times over.
 
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