Celibate Marriage

[Sir Robbins]

Since I have insufficient privileges to post in "singles asking married people" section (not sure why), I'll ask it here...

I do see a fair amount of celibate people on here and while inspiring, I don't ever see them in society (unless just like me, they are very guarded about it). I chose it years ago and am quite serious about it. I really don't have the desire to date for rather obvious reasons. Most friends are sexual and open about it which only makes social situations worse and makes me less prone to go out anywhere. What are the odds or chances that a celibate marriage could be a thing? Does anyone on here know of any that are open to talking about it, even in a PM if necessary? I would be serious about a relationship like that. One that's free from sex, children, alcohol and such. It seems near impossible with everyone around me drinking. I don't have an issue with those people, I have no physical tolerance for it. I can't even sniff it without becoming ill so no drinking would be another "barrier" if you will. My other issue is with the church. Churches in general. I don't connect to them and women in college groups and singles groups I attended (years ago, I imagine it's worse now) found celibacy as a pitiful way to live and felt sorry for me. Some even laughed. I did talk to another guy who was celibate and the church treated him like he had unlimited free time to work for the church for free which burned him out to the point he quit altogether and never came back. They take advantage of people like this and I'm not interested.

So, the odds? I presume small. Anyone on here that's celibate that has similar goals or dreams? I don't want to be alone for life and because of this choice, I've become alone. My medical diagnosis of MS makes it worse. Sometimes unable to leave my apartment on days. Luckily, I'm self employed as a video engineer and videographer so I can take time off when needed.

 

[dqhall]

Since I have insufficient privileges to post in "singles asking married people" section (not sure why), I'll ask it here...

I do see a fair amount of celibate people on here and while inspiring, I don't ever see them in society (unless just like me, they are very guarded about it). I chose it years ago and am quite serious about it. I really don't have the desire to date for rather obvious reasons. Most friends are sexual and open about it which only makes social situations worse and makes me less prone to go out anywhere. What are the odds or chances that a celibate marriage could be a thing? Does anyone on here know of any that are open to talking about it, even in a PM if necessary? I would be serious about a relationship like that. One that's free from sex, children, alcohol and such. It seems near impossible with everyone around me drinking. I don't have an issue with those people, I have no physical tolerance for it. I can't even sniff it without becoming ill so no drinking would be another "barrier" if you will. My other issue is with the church. Churches in general. I don't connect to them and women in college groups and singles groups I attended (years ago, I imagine it's worse now) found celibacy as a pitiful way to live and felt sorry for me. Some even laughed. I did talk to another guy who was celibate and the church treated him like he had unlimited free time to work for the church for free which burned him out to the point he quit altogether and never came back. They take advantage of people like this and I'm not interested.

So, the odds? I presume small. Anyone on here that's celibate that has similar goals or dreams? I don't want to be alone for life and because of this choice, I've become alone. My medical diagnosis of MS makes it worse. Sometimes unable to leave my apartment on days. Luckily, I'm self employed as a video engineer and videographer so I can take time off when needed.

Some Catholic couples needed to be celibate for long periods of time as their church does not allow them to use birth control pills. Some men were impotent; that resulted in a sexless marriage.

In 1960 90% of men had married before they were 25 years old.
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/09/24/record-share-of-americans-have-never-married/

From a different study, very few 55 year olds who have never married before will ever marry. In one Oregon county only 1% of marriage certificates issued in a year were for couples over the age of 65.

 

[Sketcher]

I honestly can't count on any woman who doesn't want sex or kids to not change her mind about it later.

 

[MariaJLM]

I honestly can't count on any woman who doesn't want sex or kids to not change her mind about it later.

Not necessarily. I'm celibate and have opted for it for life. I simply do not have those desires. It's one reason why I've never bothered to seek out marriage. I know it would never work out, for various reasons.

In short, not all women are wired for physical intimacy or motherhood. (Neither are some men for that matter.)

 

[Sketcher]

Not necessarily. I'm celibate and have opted for it for life. I simply do not have those desires. It's one reason why I've never bothered to seek out marriage. I know it would never work out, for various reasons.

In short, not all women are wired for physical intimacy or motherhood. (Neither are some men for that matter.)

I recognize that there are exceptions to the rule, but I can never know if I'm talking to an exception to the rule. Senior citizens are a safe bet, but they're well above my desired age range.

 

[Sir Robbins]

I honestly can't count on any woman who doesn't want sex or kids to not change her mind about it later.

that's one of my fears. People can say one thing now and be very different down the road. I'm kida stuck with MS and it will only get worse.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

good luck with that..

 

[bcbsr]

Since I have insufficient privileges to post in "singles asking married people" section (not sure why), I'll ask it here...

I do see a fair amount of celibate people on here and while inspiring, I don't ever see them in society (unless just like me, they are very guarded about it). I chose it years ago and am quite serious about it. I really don't have the desire to date for rather obvious reasons. Most friends are sexual and open about it which only makes social situations worse and makes me less prone to go out anywhere. What are the odds or chances that a celibate marriage could be a thing? Does anyone on here know of any that are open to talking about it, even in a PM if necessary? I would be serious about a relationship like that. One that's free from sex, children, alcohol and such. It seems near impossible with everyone around me drinking. I don't have an issue with those people, I have no physical tolerance for it. I can't even sniff it without becoming ill so no drinking would be another "barrier" if you will. My other issue is with the church. Churches in general. I don't connect to them and women in college groups and singles groups I attended (years ago, I imagine it's worse now) found celibacy as a pitiful way to live and felt sorry for me. Some even laughed. I did talk to another guy who was celibate and the church treated him like he had unlimited free time to work for the church for free which burned him out to the point he quit altogether and never came back. They take advantage of people like this and I'm not interested.

So, the odds? I presume small. Anyone on here that's celibate that has similar goals or dreams? I don't want to be alone for life and because of this choice, I've become alone. My medical diagnosis of MS makes it worse. Sometimes unable to leave my apartment on days. Luckily, I'm self employed as a video engineer and videographer so I can take time off when needed.

What's the point of a celibate marriage? You might as well stay single.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I am not sure the point of marrying if you aren't having sex either.

 

[blackribbon]

In a celebate marriage, wouldn't same sex marriages be okay.... Most verses about marriage are about having a having a sexual relationship ... Two become one...etc. Why marry and not just be roommates?

 

[MariaJLM]

What's the point of a celibate marriage? You might as well stay single.

Some do it for the companionship and support into old age. I could see that especially being true in Christian denominations that don't have monasticism as an option. I mean, at least monastics have the support of the younger members of their monastery once they age. For those just remaining single and celibate it would be a pretty lonely existence I think unless you have a lot of friends.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

If it's the living alone that you don't like, could you look for a house share? Or maybe find a church family who would rent out an annexe or spare room?

 

[blackribbon]

Some do it for the companionship and support into old age. I could see that especially being true in Christian denominations that don't have monasticism as an option. I mean, at least monastics have the support of the younger members of their monastery once they age. For those just remaining single and celibate it would be a pretty lonely existence I think unless you have a lot of friends.

 

[blackribbon]

You don't have to get married to be celebate companions and usually there are financial benefit to remaining single in old age

 

[Lost4words]

If you are meant to be with someone then that is God's will.

 

[blackribbon]

If you are meant to be with someone then that is God's will.

What does that mean? How do you know if you are supposed to be in a person's life for a lifetime or a just a season? And how do you know for what capacity you are in someone's life?

 

[Sir Robbins]

My point is as some have noted, it would be nice to have a companion. Those of you saying there's no point to marriage without sex? Are you under the impression that's the ONLY difference between a couple that's married versus one that is not married? What about life long commitment to each other? There are more ways to cheat on someone than just sex, FYI. I'm not completely dead. I'm a very warm and affectionate person. This only makes things worse for me. I am not opposed to being single for life but to be alone for life is not something I'm fond of. I've managed quite well on my own for years now but the longer I go, the less bright that light is at the end of the tunnel. I've attempted to find roommates that were females but most of them I met would keep alcohol at home, were late night partiers or their present roommates would tell me they'd bring some guy home from a club and not recommend them for someone like me. These were girls I went to church with!!!! My faith is nearly gone in my generation and if there's any benefit to it, I grab on to God more. (That's kind of a big bonus)

 

[Multifavs]

There's nothing wrong with being celibate for life, but I'm not sure if a celibate marriage would work.

As for me, I have also chosen to be celibate. Unlike many people I have no drive for romance and no desire for marriage or anything related to it, and I don't think that's going to change. I feel that this is God's calling for me.

Not only that, but I feel that finding the right guy for me would be very difficult. I'm kind of like you, I'm not into romance-related talk and I feel uncomfortable talking about it, and I don't drink. If I wanted to get married I'd want a guy who followed Christ well and didn't do the things that bother me, which wouldn't be easy in today's society (no offense to guys, I'm just talking about society in general).

Like you, the only thing I regret about my celibacy is that I'll remain alone and lonely for life. But maybe you can find some good friends to hang out with often or something? I know that's easier said than done, but I'll be praying for you in this.

I'm Catholic, and the Catholic Church requires a marriage to be open to children, so marriage is not an option for me at all. But really, celibacy isn't so bad, despite what some might say. Just be yourself and stick close to God and any friends you might have.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

It just seems a bit odd to me to want marriage (which was instituted by God) without sex (also invented by God and which He reserves only for those who are married).

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Since you aren't having sex, you can have companionship without the need for marriage. Why not just move in with that person and live your life together without marrying since you won't be having sex. No sin being committed if you two just live together as basically roommates.