Celibacy as opposed to a relationship?

[Ariadne_GR]

I had a question in mind and thought I'd ask. Obviously the more time that passes (turned 29 this year), the more I think God's plan for me is actually a life of celibacy and I find that I don't actually mind that. In fact part of me would prefer it at this stage. I guess I've given up hope and am happy with the other choice. Is it wrong to have given up the traditional notion and be happy with my other option? I'd like to think being happy with it is a good thing and there is no feeling of disappointment. What there is though is a distaste for relationships as a whole and feeling that's not for me. Maybe it's come from a long time of hoping for one and then it not coming to fruition. Maybe it's because celibacy really is my calling? I am not sure, but that's the best way I can think of to describe it. Hope that made some sense!

 

[Im_A]

Well I would argue that if you are giving up on 'traditional notion"(I don't know what that means exactly) and then settling for the 'alternative', you may be just experiencing disillusionment with that 'traditional notion' and just having a big reaction instead of actually going after what you really want.

Then again I don't know you either so there is no real way to know from computer desk therapy pov. All I know in regards to the generalized topic for myself and I am too easy to go for celibacy and too classy to be a man harlot.

Best of luck!

 

[writerchick7]

It's good to know you realize it now. Most people either wouldn't acknowledge it or they do in fact burn with passion.

 

[mina]

Well you have to be true to your own feelings about this. No one can tell you what is right or wrong for you to feel on this issue. If you feel like you can live happily without a relationship and are content with not pursuing that then rest in that. Be obedient to what you feel God is calling you to. There is no shame in wanting a relationship and there is no shame in being content without one.

 

[Verve]

If it's your calling, go for it!

 

[IreneAdler]

I had a question in mind and thought I'd ask. Obviously the more time that passes (turned 29 this year), the more I think God's plan for me is actually a life of celibacy and I find that I don't actually mind that. In fact part of me would prefer it at this stage. I guess I've given up hope and am happy with the other choice. Is it wrong to have given up the traditional notion and be happy with my other option? I'd like to think being happy with it is a good thing and there is no feeling of disappointment. What there is though is a distaste for relationships as a whole and feeling that's not for me. Maybe it's come from a long time of hoping for one and then it not coming to fruition. Maybe it's because celibacy really is my calling? I am not sure, but that's the best way I can think of to describe it. Hope that made some sense!

first off, watch who you're implying is old

I think it would be a mistake to assume a calling unless you are actually feeling compelled... it seems to me you are feeling disappointed, not compelled. I don't want you to give up on something because it's not happened yet and assume because you haven't gotten to that perfect spot that it doesn't exist for you.

I think prayer and honest self searching to see whether it's really a calling would be a good idea.

 

[MacFall]

Yeh, pretty much what Irene said. (Get out of my head, woman!)

Celibacy isn't for everyone. One shouldn't try to quash his or her God-given desire for a mate. You just need to be honest with yourself about whether or not you have such a desire. If you really don't, then maybe you are called to be celibate. That's something you need to figure out between yourself and God.

 

[IreneAdler]

You KNOW you LIKE IT

 

[SpiritualAntiseptic]

I had a question in mind and thought I'd ask. Obviously the more time that passes (turned 29 this year), the more I think God's plan for me is actually a life of celibacy and I find that I don't actually mind that. In fact part of me would prefer it at this stage. I guess I've given up hope and am happy with the other choice. Is it wrong to have given up the traditional notion and be happy with my other option? I'd like to think being happy with it is a good thing and there is no feeling of disappointment. What there is though is a distaste for relationships as a whole and feeling that's not for me. Maybe it's come from a long time of hoping for one and then it not coming to fruition. Maybe it's because celibacy really is my calling? I am not sure, but that's the best way I can think of to describe it. Hope that made some sense!

Celibacy is not a calling for those that find relationships 'distasteful'. Celibacy is not giving up on relationships or the opposite sex.

 

[Stravinsk]

I had a question in mind and thought I'd ask. Obviously the more time that passes (turned 29 this year), the more I think God's plan for me is actually a life of celibacy and I find that I don't actually mind that. In fact part of me would prefer it at this stage. I guess I've given up hope and am happy with the other choice. Is it wrong to have given up the traditional notion and be happy with my other option? I'd like to think being happy with it is a good thing and there is no feeling of disappointment. What there is though is a distaste for relationships as a whole and feeling that's not for me. Maybe it's come from a long time of hoping for one and then it not coming to fruition. Maybe it's because celibacy really is my calling? I am not sure, but that's the best way I can think of to describe it. Hope that made some sense!

I understand where you are comming from - hope deferred makes the heart sick - really sick. I don't know you or what your experience(lack of?) is - but I think I have subconciously done the same thing on some level for various reasons - although age isn't one of them. However - it only takes a small taste of something good in a relationship to realise what I am missing. Relationships are what life is about - 90% of the focus of the Bible is on relationships - all relationships.

From a widower's perspective - I wanted to turn off the pain, after a while not from loss so much as from that painful inner need to love a woman again - mixed with all the fears that come with that. I've let fear rule for some time and I know I'm robbing myself.

It's not *wrong* - but it's like alot of experiences in life - one doesn't know how good or bad they can be until one experiences them for real. Being content as a single person is better than experiencing hope deferred - but it is not better than a loving relationship by far.

God Bless.

 

[elenore]

The bible tells us that celibacy is a gift and that it's not good for man to be alone.

So if you don't have the gift of celibacy, and you arn't with anyone.........

I think it's just a trial.


My thoughts anyway.

God only knows.
God makes his plans.
The information's unavailable to the mortal man.

Paul Simon song. I was listening to it and those lyrics came up just as I was typing the above. And I think that's a lot of what it's about.

Trust.

God promises us that we will go through trials. That he disciplines those he loves. We don't know the answers to everything, and we were designed to be in relationships. If for whatever reason, we have to go without - it's tough.

I don't know why exactly my life has been the way it has in this area, but I do know that God loves me and knows exactly what he's doing. And my eternal life is more important to me then anything else. So I just have to suck it up.

I know christians, who all they ever wanted was to get married and have a family. They waited and waited until they were too old for child bearing. God didn't give them the gift of celibacy.

I don't know the answers but I know that I love God, and that he cares about us.

We can try to make him about us, but at the end of the day....... eternity is a long time and that's the thing that matters most.

 

[elenore]

lol PS.
Just for interest. I flicked straight on to 'rolling in the deep'

Listen to some of the lyrics.

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
See how I'll leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark

We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand
And you played it to the beat

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one of you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared

Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in time and reap just what you sow



God is a jealous God, and it's easy for us to put other people before him in our lives. If he didn't know what he was doing, I'd be scared. But he does care more about our ultimate salvation then our temporal happiness IMO.

 

[trentlogain2]

i firmly believe that aside from a Christian knowing he or she is saved is to know what God's calling is for them. i would encourage you to do what The Bible says to do in seeking Him to find out what that is. then when he tells you embrace it wholeheartedly.