Catcalling-- creepy or a compliment?

[mizangelwolf]

pushed on the gas pedal and went real fast

 

[mizangelwolf]

that was in California and probably not a New Jersey term

 

[quatona]

Offense probably is not the right word, put-off might be better. It also depends on the situation, if you are alone, it is dark, is the street crowded etc. For me it isn’t really a matter of a negative emotional state but a concern of safety.

Well, ok, it wasn´t clear from the OP that we were talking darkness and being alone on an empty street.

Men do not have that vulnerability at the level women do.

Not?

As an example people ask me about my headphones (why not noise canceling or earbuds) and my answer is, as a woman I would not feel comfortable not being able to hear at some level what is going on around me.

Feel free to call me unmanly but I feel similarly about it.

There is also the issue with cat calling of when women do not respond (in the form of any sort of acknowledgement of the person(s)) and then you hear snide comments or names being called; usually the b word. Why am I a female dog because I do not care to acknowledge your childish off putting behavior?

Well, praying, you are adding a lot of conditions - whereas the OP I responded to was about cat-calling in general. I couldn´t know you were thinking of these forms of cat-calling (which I myself think go way beyond what is usually called "cat-calling" - but then I am not a native English speaker and might be mistaken in semantics questions).

 

[Chajara]

I find it disrespectful, mostly because I've been called at while wearing shorts and a tank top at the beach and while wearing sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt that hung way past my waist. This tells me that they're yelling at me not because they find me attractive, but simply because I have a vagina and therefore exist for their entertainment. At least, that's the impression I get.

I don't let it bother me much, I just roll my eyes and move on. I've never had someone slow down or follow me, but if anyone ever approached me in a threatening manner you can bet I'd mace or taze the hell out of them, depending on which method of self-defense I'd chosen that day. (Then I'd run before the cops got there because self defense using either of those items gets you into lots of trouble 'round these parts, up to and including a felony on your record.)

 

[wanderingone]

Guys are naturally more aggressive. Covering women to protect them against aggressive men isn't such a bad idea in some cultures.

If covering women protected them there wouldn't be so much violence against women in countries that require it.

At least you got it right.. "covering women" as opposed to women who cover - your version is as if they are just come posession to put under a covering like a car to be handled and seen only in the way approved by the one who has "ownership" once again your way of thinking shines through

 

[quatona]

I find it disrespectful, mostly because I've been called at while wearing shorts and a tank top at the beach and while wearing sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt that hung way past my waist. This tells me that they're yelling at me not because they find me attractive, but simply because I have a vagina and therefore exist for their entertainment. At least, that's the impression I get.

Another way of interpreting it would be to be happy that you could be sure they didn´t merely find your clothes attractive, but your face, your natural charisma, your appearance in general.

 

[praying]

Well, ok, it wasn´t clear from the OP that we were talking darkness and being alone on an empty street.

Cat calling occurs in any and all situations.

Not?

No, generally speaking no they do not.

Feel free to call me unmanly but I feel similarly about it.

I don't think that makes you unmanly.

Well, praying, you are adding a lot of conditions - whereas the OP I responded to was about cat-calling in general. I couldn´t know you were thinking of these forms of cat-calling (which I myself think go way beyond what is usually called "cat-calling" - but then I am not a native English speaker and might be mistaken in semantics questions).

My thoughts aren't necessarily directed at you but these aren't conditions these are all part of the cat calling "culture" if you will. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen and it happens enough that makes it worthy of mentioning.

 

[Chajara]

Another way of interpreting it would be to be happy that you could be sure they didn´t merely find your clothes attractive, but your face, your natural charisma, your appearance in general.

You know, I look on the bright side of a heck of a lot of things, but in this case I'm just too cynical or something. Besides, it's hard to get a good idea of someone's face or charisma when you're speeding by at 45 miles an hour down the road, which are the circumstances under which the majority of the catcalls I've gotten have taken place.

 

[quatona]

My thoughts aren't necessarily directed at you but these aren't conditions these are all part of the cat calling "culture" if you will. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen and it happens enough that makes it worthy of mentioning.

It sure is worthy of mentioning, and it sure is reason for concern.
However, threatening others and physical abuse in the streets is a different issue than cat calling. It occurs in cultures in wich cat calling is an acceptable behaviour and considered "normal", and it occurs in cultures in which it isn´t. Even in cultures in which cat calling is acceptable behaviour and considered "normal", these behaviours aren´t accepted and considered "normal".
I don´t like cat calling, I wish people wouldn´t do it, but that´s not a good reason to demonize it by lumping it in with other, independent issues.

 

[Ramona]

I always find it skeevy. Always.

Although, one day, a friend of mine was walking to the university bookstore when this dude leans out of his truck and hollers, "Hey baby, wanna try something new?" She responded, "Try it with your mom, [butt]hole!"

That shut him up.

 

[quatona]

You know, I look on the bright side of a heck of a lot of things, but in this case I'm just too cynical or something. Besides, it's hard to get a good idea of someone's face or charisma when you're speeding by at 45 miles an hour down the road, which are the circumstances under which the majority of the catcalls I've gotten have taken place.

You have no idea how quickly us guys can spot charisma.

 

[Autumnleaf]

But surely the issue then is why men are so aggressive, rather than why women appeal to this need?

For eons aggressive men have been rewarded by having more sex. During that time having more sex usually meant having more children. So the tendency was passed on. Even now we have the media trying to perpetuate meek men as the idea. Most women I know don't buy it and most meek men I know don't have a clue...

 

[quatona]

For eons aggressive men have been rewarded by having more sex. During that time having more sex usually meant having more children. So the tendency was passed on. Even now we have the media trying to perpetuate meek men as the idea. Most women I know don't buy it and most meek men I know don't have a clue...

Colour me surprised. What happened to your standard argument in other instances - 'It has always been that way, so it must be right?'

 

[mpok1519]

I like it when women yell obscene and provocative things at me. =)

 

[Bombila]

I like it when women yell obscene and provocative things at me. =)

I bet you only like it when the women in question are relatively young and attractive, and don't look like they could swing you around by one arm and then have you for lunch.

 

[Trashionista]

Creepy. Its annoying too.
I don't find it complimentary in anyway. Everyone gets cat-called at; anyone can be considered hot or sexy.

But actually being treated with dignity and respect, as a classy, beautiful and intelligent woman is fabulous. Cat-calling, however, just isn't respectful.

 

[drstevej]

Cat calling should be reserved for cats.

 

[mpok1519]

I bet you only like it when the women in question are relatively young and attractive, and don't look like they could swing you around by one arm and then have you for lunch.

I'm pretty sure I enjoy any attention I get. =)

 

[mizangelwolf]

Now are we talking cat calls or wolf whistles? I need to know, lol!

 

[mpok1519]

lets make it both.

But everyone knows that men are less effected by sexual harassment.

Why are men less offended/affected by their objectification?

Do we have no problem with being an 'object'? Do we have no qualm with being a 'tool'?

We do, but its a silent objection; a role we have accepted since the beginning.