Cant stop racing thoughts

[Davidabear]

Hey everyone,

First of all thanks for taking the time to read this. I am at a very low point in my life. I have so much to be thankful for, but I am having a very tough time shaking some issues off.

When i was 18, i started getting very bad headaches. I went to so many specialists and the only thing that seemed to help was pain medication. I was on medicatios for years and recently just saw my life getting sucked dry by the meds. I have a wife and son who need me, but I was just acting like a zombie day in and out.

I love the Lord and was even helping out in youth ministry when this all started happening. Back in August, i was praying and the thought of me needing to be off my medication came to my mind. I figured this was from the Holy Spirit so I pretty much went off cold turkey. I was taking a pretty hefty dose.

The crazy thing is that the physical symptoms of withdrawl lasted only 2 days. Praise the Lord! That is unheard of. However, i am left still recovering emotionally and mentally. I feel as if God left me.

About a month ago these terrible thoughts started racing in my head. At first i was so repulsed and sick of them that I would literally feel like throwing up. They were terrible and disgusting thoughts about our Lord. I immediately decided perhaps I should go to a deliverance service, so I did. However, things only got worse. Instead of just a few thoughts a day, they consumed me. Now it's all I think about. I am paralyzed by fear and torment.

I went off the medication to become a better dad and husband, but now I feel like I have gone nuts and am worse off. I can't sleep at night because of these thoughts and the lack of sleep adds to the problem. My wife really wants her husband back and she wants to enjoy the holidays, but I feel so crappy. Can anyone offer some advice?

Thanks,

David

 

[EPHESIANS6:10-11]

i get thoughts like that when i feel stressed i worry about every single thought i have
thinking that am a bad person for having bad thoughts about Jesus ...But if your try and look at each thought slow it down you can fight these thoughts you say to yourself you dont believe the bad thoughts say JESUS IS MY LORD AND HE KNOW I DONT MEAN THESE THOUGHTS and pray keep praying i find praying helps and read the bible DONT ENTERTAIN THESE THOUGHTS DONT GIVE THESE THOUGHTS THE TIME OF DAY
keep Jesus in your mind i know its hard not to think of these things but keep fighting them
sometimes the bad thoughts are there do you see a therapist or dr that you can talk to about this ?
i think that coming off these meds has made things harder for you the pain meds may have triggered something
please talk to a professional

 

[St_Worm2]

Hi David, I am glad to hear that the physical withdrawal from the meds went so smoothly for you, but very saddened to hear how your thought-life is now being plagued. Praying for you!

What is happening to you sounds like a more intense version of what happened to me after I became a Christian 30 years ago (though this did not involve me being on or off medication). I was so entrenched in the enemies camp before the Lord saved me from it that I think think Satan did not want to let me go. I was horrified by the thoughts and the nightmares I was having. Though they were not thoughts/dreams that had anything to do with God normally, they were vile and horrible, like nothing I'd ever experienced before becoming a Christian. I too remember waking up utterly sickened by them, and I remember being angry with God for allowing them to happen (I never believed He caused them, but I honestly didn't know why I was having them and I thought something was wrong with me).

I also had a steady flow of bad thoughts, bad words, etc., that seemed to endlessly fill my mind during the day.

So I set about trying to figure out what was going on, and how to get it all to stop. Here's what worked for me, and what I would recommend for you too.

1) Talk to your pastor. You don't have to give him the gory details, but let him know what you've told us here.

2) We have a common enemy who HATES our Lord and Savior and, as a result, those who are His as well. Like me, this may well be a very serious attack from this world's "prince", so keep that in mind when these thoughts are racing though your head, and just who it is that may really behind them. (Ephesians 6:10-17)

3) Take these thoughts "captive", reject them and rebuke them in Jesus' name, and give them over to Him to deal with. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

4) MEMORIZE SCRIPTURE - in the midst of trying to deal with all of this as a baby Christian, I heard a pastor (Chuck Swindoll) on the radio who promised that memorizing Scripture would fix the problem I was having, and you know what, he was right He said that if you do this, God's word would replace all the junk your brain, and you'd end up thinking about that all the time instead. That there would no longer be room for all the junk! This was the number one thing that saved me from both my vile thoughts AND my vile dreams

It's not easy to do, especially at first, but if you are interested in how to get started, just let me know as I would be happy to help. The other cool thing is the fact that you are a Christian, and as such are indwelt by the HS and in possession of the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:12-16). Once God's fills your mind in this way, it is 1) much easier for the HS to guide you properly and 2) much harder to sin (because every time you do, the HS and His word are right there telling you why you shouldn't )

5) Buy or read online C. S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters. It's a collection of short stories that Lewis wrote from the point of view of Satan's minions. A Christian mentor suggested that I read this book when I was going through all of this years ago. It gave me a great insights into how the enemy thinks and operates against us and, as such, has been very useful to me throughout my walk in being able to more quickly recognize an attack from Satan for what it is (BTW, when you read The Screwtape Letters (online here), be aware that the "Enemy" in this book is God .. remember, it is written from Satan's POV )

6) Because this involves meds, seek professional help immediately (as Angeluk has already mentioned)​

If you have time, please let us know how you are doing, and how we can continue to pray for you!

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David

 

[brinny]

bless yer heart....praying for you

 

[farout]

Hey everyone,

First of all thanks for taking the time to read this. I am at a very low point in my life. I have so much to be thankful for, but I am having a very tough time shaking some issues off.

When i was 18, i started getting very bad headaches. I went to so many specialists and the only thing that seemed to help was pain medication. I was on medicatios for years and recently just saw my life getting sucked dry by the meds. I have a wife and son who need me, but I was just acting like a zombie day in and out.

I love the Lord and was even helping out in youth ministry when this all started happening. Back in August, i was praying and the thought of me needing to be off my medication came to my mind. I figured this was from the Holy Spirit so I pretty much went off cold turkey. I was taking a pretty hefty dose.

The crazy thing is that the physical symptoms of withdrawl lasted only 2 days. Praise the Lord! That is unheard of. However, i am left still recovering emotionally and mentally. I feel as if God left me.

About a month ago these terrible thoughts started racing in my head. At first i was so repulsed and sick of them that I would literally feel like throwing up. They were terrible and disgusting thoughts about our Lord. I immediately decided perhaps I should go to a deliverance service, so I did. However, things only got worse. Instead of just a few thoughts a day, they consumed me. Now it's all I think about. I am paralyzed by fear and torment.

I went off the medication to become a better dad and husband, but now I feel like I have gone nuts and am worse off. I can't sleep at night because of these thoughts and the lack of sleep adds to the problem. My wife really wants her husband back and she wants to enjoy the holidays, but I feel so crappy. Can anyone offer some advice?

Thanks,

David

Hello David. I read you live in Phoenix AZ. I lived in the area of Phoenix for eight years. Boy is that a really hot place in the summer. I left Phoenix for five reasons, May, June July, August and September. I am unable physically to endure the heat.

Having a wife and son are very good reasons to be thankful, and I am proud that you are. For sure a man who has a family needs to keep stable and in good health for them.


David, going off medications abruptly can cause paranoia and mental health issues. This could be a chemical imbalance, or conflict with other medications, or perhaps thyroid issues. You must call your doctor ASAP! Please David follow through with calling your doctor ASAP. Now would be perfect time. I will pray for you David, God bless.

 

[faroukfarouk]

i get thoughts like that when i feel stressed i worry about every single thought i have
thinking that am a bad person for having bad thoughts about Jesus ...But if your try and look at each thought slow it down you can fight these thoughts you say to yourself you dont believe the bad thoughts say JESUS IS MY LORD AND HE KNOW I DONT MEAN THESE THOUGHTS and pray keep praying i find praying helps and read the bible DONT ENTERTAIN THESE THOUGHTS DONT GIVE THESE THOUGHTS THE TIME OF DAY
keep Jesus in your mind i know its hard not to think of these things but keep fighting them
sometimes the bad thoughts are there do you see a therapist or dr that you can talk to about this ?
i think that coming off these meds has made things harder for you the pain meds may have triggered something
please talk to a professional

I like what Luther said: You can't stop the birds flying over your head. But you can stop them making a nest in your hair!

Prayer and the Scriptures are like the air that the Christian breathes.

 

[Davidabear]

Thanks to all for the thoughtful replies. I found out from the doctors that I have low testosterone, a malformation (chiari) in my brain, and post acute withdrawal syndrome. Add the enemy's attacks on top of these things and also my own flesh and the potential for disaster is there.

I'm not quite sure what to do because I tried a testosterone injection, and it sent the racing thoughts into overdrive. I have more tests being done right now, but I just want to be okay with God. If I could just know He was with me during this time, I would have much more confidence. My blasphemous thoughts are out of control to the point where I struggle praying and reading scripture or thinking about anything related to God.

Last night I took my family to a nativity story out in the desert (very cool experience). The entire time, i couldn't control my thoughts. In my mind as scripture was being read I kept praising God.

I kept wishing to be anyone but me. Oh how great to be one of the 3 wise men, or the shepherds in the field or Peter or Paul.....i just kept praying for salvation. My wife looked over and said "just be here with us". I was trying so hard, but no matter what I do, I cant enjoy moments.

Lord willing, this will pass and the Lord will help my mind be sound again. I keep praying despite all this. I keep quoting scripture (especially the psalms). I keep crying out, but my thoughts consume me. God sent a great couple to our house yesterday just to eat with and they helped us clean up the place.

God is providing for every need, but my greatest desire is for the inside of my cup to be clean. I would rather life fall apart around me if I had a sound mind to handle it. I have never been so petrified in my life.

Even if God decides to keep me like this, I proclaim His goodness and perfection still. I advise everyone to examine themselves right now and make sure you are seeking Him with everything you have. God is glorious and loving. Don't let that pass you by. He loves you.

 

[JesusIneedYou]

i deal with this too i try to not fear or give it thought i reason too much it stinks but Gods here for us. do what Jesus said it is written you must worship the Lord your GOD and only HIM you shall serve.