Can't shake this Dream

[Mayflower1]

So I am just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this dream I had about 4 years ago. It comes to my mind a lot, and I don't know if it is just one of those haunting dreams you just get in your life or if maybe God wants me to learn something from it. It wasn't very long.

So it was like watching this happen in my dream. It was the front of inside a nursing home. There was a big window in front and a couch facing towards me in my dream with a man and a woman sitting there talking. And a little boy and little girl all dressed up came running to them really happy. No sound. There was a nurse in white at a desk beside them and she looked busy there and then this heavier set older woman came limping out of the hallway by the desk. I had a feeling it was me. She went to the desk and just said hi and the nurse smiled with a joyful nod at her, then went back to work at the desk. Then I felt like the heavier set lady was a little sad, but was smiling, and started headed towards the door out of the nursing home. This old, tall black man started coming out of the hallway trying to stop her, but the nurse ran from the desk and grabbed him from the front saying it was okay.

The older woman looked down and turned facing back and what chills me is the other side of her face was sagging down where her eye and mouth and cheek looked like it was melted and her teeth showed. Then I heard, "degeneration", and I could hear her thinking "let me show the good side," and turned where I could only see that good side of her face again. Then she opened the door and walked out into this bright light where I couldn't see her anymore, and my dream ended. I only had this one time in my life, but I've never been able to get it out of my mind. Lately I have been thinking about it a lot.

 

[Paul of Eugene OR]

The vision you had describes a person who has had a stroke. We are all going to face the loss of our youthful strength and abilities one way or another before we pass on to glory. May the Lord give each of us family and friends who can see past the physical and see the beauty of our spirits in Him.

 

[Mayflower1]

There was a time in my life I had a hard time seeing that. My mom was in a nursing home and I was very critical of her, because of things she did. Then she got dementia and congestive heart failure. Just got sicker, and passed a couple years ago. I always have felt guilty for judging her so much. I really do think she loved the Lord. And I really love and miss her. I can hope I don't reap what I have sown when I get older. More then anything else I just want people to have seen Christ in my life. And I hope they see that inward beauty. Because it only took my mom dying for me to see hers.

 

[Mayflower1]

It is also easy to be afraid of being around friends and family who are older, because it hurts to see them in pain.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Greetings, Lilyoo! Glad you posted your dream. I'll see what I can do.

So I am just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this dream I had about 4 years ago. It comes to my mind a lot, and I don't know if it is just one of those haunting dreams you just get in your life or if maybe God wants me to learn something from it.

Almost guaranteed that He wants you to learn something from it. A dream that won't go away after 4 years... sure-fire sign.

My mom was in a nursing home and I was very critical of her, because of things she did.... I always have felt guilty for judging her so much. I really do think she loved the Lord. And I really love and miss her. I can hope I don't reap what I have sown when I get older. More then anything else I just want people to have seen Christ in my life. And I hope they see that inward beauty. Because it only took my mom dying for me to see hers.

This right here goes a long ways towards explaining your dream.

It was the front of inside a nursing home. There was a big window in front and a couch facing towards me in my dream with a man and a woman sitting there talking. And a little boy and little girl all dressed up came running to them really happy. No sound. There was a nurse in white at a desk beside them and she looked busy there and then this heavier set older woman came limping out of the hallway by the desk. I had a feeling it was me. She went to the desk and just said hi and the nurse smiled with a joyful nod at her, then went back to work at the desk. Then I felt like the heavier set lady was a little sad, but was smiling, and started headed towards the door out of the nursing home. This old, tall black man started coming out of the hallway trying to stop her, but the nurse ran from the desk and grabbed him from the front saying it was okay.

- The nursing home = awww... He's starting to give me the interpretation here, and it's kinda sad. You're broken-hearted. Nursing homes often "care" for the elderly when no one else will, and by that I mean with emotional care as well. It suggests you will enter a place later in life, before going on to be with the Lord, where you will be lonely.
- The man, woman, little boy and little girl = Represents a happy family, but merely there as visitors, which is often the case at nursing homes. The elderly are left out of their lives, except when they come to visit. Note: This may represent your own children and grandchildren, but the loneliness may be prevented. I discuss this more at the end of the interpretation.
- No sound = Represents how you will not be allowed to know what is going on in their lives, because you are excluded from it.
- Nurse in white = Now, this nursing home could be literal, in that this is where you might spend the later years of your life. But if the symbolism is figurative here then the "nurse in white" represents the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is feminine in the Hebrew, and often appears as a female in dreams. It means "she" will become your only true friend, or at least who you believe is your only true friend. This is also suggested by how kind "she" is to you, and how she knows you will be ok when you finally go on to be with God.
- "a little sad, but was smiling" = This relates to the "side of your face" you will want people to see. You won't want them to feel bad for you but instead be happy, but inside you will be broken-hearted, and possibly as you say coming to that age where you all the more feel badly for your mother, knowing now where she was back then.
- Started heading towards the door of the nursing home = approaching the end of your life, to go through that "door" to be with God.
- Old, tall black man = This is a friend. It may represent a literal black man or someone else, but this will be someone who truly cares for you and wants to comfort you. He may not want to let you go without telling you he cares for you.
- "the nurse ran from the desk and grabbed him from the front saying it was okay." = This will be the Holy Spirit "running" to tell your friend that it is ok, and that you finally need to go home to be with God now.

The older woman looked down and turned facing back and what chills me is the other side of her face was sagging down where her eye and mouth and cheek looked like it was melted and her teeth showed. Then I heard, "degeneration", and I could hear her thinking "let me show the good side," and turned where I could only see that good side of her face again. Then she opened the door and walked out into this bright light where I couldn't see her anymore, and my dream ended. I only had this one time in my life, but I've never been able to get it out of my mind. Lately I have been thinking about it a lot.

- "Looking down" is again symbolic of being down, i.e. sadness.
- "her face was sagging down where her eye and mouth and cheek looked like it was melted and her teeth showed" = eyes, mouth and cheek are all of what we use to communicate a smile, and this will be the real you inside that you aren't letting others see; the sad person.
- Then I heard, "degeneration" = The degeneration here represents emotional "decline," as suggested by the sagging. It agains refers to increased broken-heartedness, despite trying to show your "happy side."
- "Then she opened the door and walked out into this bright light where I couldn't see her anymore, and my dream ended." = Passing on, and going to Heaven.

Now, here is the obvious counsel I would take away from your dream, and feel free if you wish to talk about any of the rest of it in private. I am here for you. But right off the bat:
1. You should tell your kid/kids about this dream when they are old enough; that it haunts you, and that it may mean you will feel alone and sad in your later years. They are likely the adults you see with the family, who will by that time have children of their own and a busy life. But you should let them know you hope you will still be able to spend time with them in your old age. HOWEVER,
2. You will need to overcome your own guilt in this matter over what happened with your mother. You are wearing too much guilt even now, and you have to let it go. You have to receive God's forgiveness for it. Only when you forgive yourself will you be able to feel like you have the right to ask not to be lonely.

Hope that helps, and I'm sorry about what happened to you. I can relate to it in a way, because my father passed away without my ever really getting the chance to let him know how much I loved him.

Blessings in Christ.
Your friend,
Hidden In Him

 

[Mayflower1]

I always said I will want to go into a nursing home in my later years, so that my daughter can live her life. I don't want to get in her way. Back when I was 21 I self injured and had PTSD from sexual abuse. I tried to visit my mom, but spiraled so low in depression I tried to take my life. So I went into 3 years of inpatient faith based programs. I've been out for 6 years, but was so afraid to go back home long to lose all the progress I had made. My daughter is 8 months old and I have a wonderful husband. But my brother and sister and their families in Texas... I really am not part of their lives. That does sadden me. My mom spent so much time keeping us apart and told me never to be like my sister. I am so proud of my sister though.

I think I will pray about this and may pm you later. I tend to share a lot with people I don't know and I am trying to be more discreet. When I have a lot to say...

 

[Hidden In Him]

I always said I will want to go into a nursing home in my later years, so that my daughter can live her life. I don't want to get in her way.

Could be literal then, or partially literal, although I sense the dream is more symbolic than not. And these words are completely in line with your dream.

Back when I was 21 I self injured and had PTSD from sexual abuse. I tried to visit my mom, but spiraled so low in depression I tried to take my life.

Never actually attempted, but I struggled with suicidal tendencies my whole life.

My daughter is 8 months old and I have a wonderful husband. But my brother and sister and their families in Texas... I really am not part of their lives.

Then the couple in the dream could be them rather than your daughter and her future husband and children. I took it as probably meaning that because the dream is set in the time just before you pass on.

I think I will pray about this and may pm you later. I tend to share a lot with people I don't know and I am trying to be more discreet. When I have a lot to say...

Perfectly up to you. I'm normally fairly busy, but don't have a ton going on right now. If you wanted to talk and make friends, I'd be glad to.

It's been nice meeting you.

 

[Mayflower1]

I have been praying and think maybe I need to volunteer at a nursing home for awhile. Whatever the symbolism in this dream, there are Christian people nearing the end of their lives that may be feeling heartbroken and need a friend too. I want them to know I care about them, not just in word, but in action. I believe that you reap what you sow, and even if I don't figure out what God is really trying to tell me here, I know I will be meeting Him in Heaven and any tear I have shed will be wiped away. If the Holy Spirit will be my only friend when I am old, that is sufficient. But I can be a friend now to others and look past the pain and fear of losing people I love at the end of their lives.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I have been praying and think maybe I need to volunteer at a nursing home for awhile. Whatever the symbolism in this dream, there are Christian people nearing the end of their lives that may be feeling heartbroken and need a friend too. I want them to know I care about them, not just in word, but in action.

I think this is an absolutely wonderful idea. My wife has a heart for the elderly, and she had to watch a wealthy man whom she house sat for many years go into the nursing homes when he developed Alzheimers. It was heartbreaking. He was used to having his way because he owned and ran a whole host of successful businesses, and so he was a little hard to handle for them. But instead of having sympathy for him, they just drugged him into a near comatose state half the time. He would just sit there, not saying anything, not moving, head down. I heard other stories too, of how poorly paid the help is at such places in my area, and how it's mostly a money-making venture rather than about truly helping older people...

I met another sister on this forum who felt called to start a Christian-based health care facility, and I was absolutely behind it. There is also a spiritual element involved. And beyond that, it takes a great deal of patience in general, which is something the Holy Spirit gives believers. If you feel led to do this, I could not encourage you enough. It might end up providing you an almost immediate sense of healing from the pain you felt over your mother.

If the Holy Spirit will be my only friend when I am old, that is sufficient. But I can be a friend now to others and look past the pain and fear of losing people I love at the end of their lives.

My dear, this is what I have found: If you give your life to serving the Lord Jesus Christ and continue to do so more and more, you position yourself to where He will begin sending you help and friendships with people you can partner with in your field, even if it's just to exchange notes and advise one another. And it's a wonderful feeling knowing you and your friends have purpose in Christ together. You understand them and everything they are going through, and visa versa.

Just keep following His leading. If you look after Him and His desires, I can promise you He will begin looking after yours. You begin meaning more and more to Him because you start meaning more and more to others, and He will show you what you mean to Him in ways you never expect.

 

[Mayflower1]

I guess I can call one in my area... I am a stay at home mom, but I know people in nursing homes don't mind cute babies. and I definitely don't feel called into the medical field and am sort of afraid of building relationships to lose them. But God is calling me here somehow. I also texted my sister today too. She is Jewish, so don't know how she feels about God talking to us through dreams, but I told her I know I am in Indiana and she is in Texas, but I really would like to be part of their lives more. And that I am just unsure how. I have a lot of church family and friends, but I guess sometimes I feel like there is "no sound." Like I don't know how to really connect. And I really do desire that. And I connect with my husband, but still long for deeper connection with family and friends...I think I am better then I used to be, but Ive been told in the past by a friend that she had never seen someone who is loved by so many people, but so alone. And I want to "hear" those around me. I self analyse so much as a result of these programs and everything. It is hard to get out of my head to really connect with others. I always reach out to help wherever I can. But it is the connection that I feel I sometimes miss. And I pray God helps me connect as I seek out what He wants me to do. If I am going to teach my daughter how to connect to others, I must do this.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I definitely don't feel called into the medical field and am sort of afraid of building relationships to lose them. But God is calling me here somehow. I also texted my sister today too. She is Jewish, so don't know how she feels about God talking to us through dreams, but I told her I know I am in Indiana and she is in Texas, but I really would like to be part of their lives more. And that I am just unsure how. I have a lot of church family and friends, but I guess sometimes I feel like there is "no sound." Like I don't know how to really connect. And I really do desire that. And I connect with my husband, but still long for deeper connection with family and friends...I think I am better then I used to be, but Ive been told in the past by a friend that she had never seen someone who is loved by so many people, but so alone. And I want to "hear" those around me. I self analyse so much as a result of these programs and everything. It is hard to get out of my head to really connect with others. I always reach out to help wherever I can. But it is the connection that I feel I sometimes miss. And I pray God helps me connect as I seek out what He wants me to do. If I am going to teach my daughter how to connect to others, I must do this.

Yes. And I think maybe you self-analyze yourself right out of connections that are there to be had. This seems to be the implication of the old man wanting to go to you, but you couldn't be stopped from going on to be with God. It suggests there are those who would like to be closer to you, but you tend to be the one stopping it.

I'm also getting a censure on writing certain things to you, which is when the Lord wants me to be careful with what I say. That speaks very well of you. It means He loves you dearly.

You have a beautiful soul. Let others in. Maybe that's the biggest takeaway from the dream. Even if your family may or may not be there in the future (and hopefully they will be), there will be others who are, and want you to let them be a part of your life. Take the dream to heart, and ask God to send you people you can make connections with. He's trying to encourage you, so by this dream you can know He will be listening.

Blessings, Lily!

 

[Mayflower1]

That first paragraph you wrote is a bit unclear to me. I keep typing long paragraphs and deleting, but it brings things to my mind. Can you explain that a bit more?

It reminds me of unsaved loved ones who I feel when I've lived close to them and tried to build a relationship with, I seemed to be more depressed and fall away from God. I tend to talk about God a lot. He is my life. I used to be very legalistic when I was younger and tried to evangelize them, so I was quite criticized. As I got older I believe I have more love and grace. But I do talk and sing about Christ a lot, and I think that is why we never got close. I think I desire blood family. And I never had a true connection there. It is hard, because I am super close to my church family, husband, and my little girl is the love of my life. But it is still like looking out a window sometimes.

When my daughter asks about family when she gets older, it would just be a bit nice to know more then just the surface for her.

 

[Mayflower1]

Anyhow, I may need to just take this in prayer now, because I am really trying to be more discreet on the internet. My thoughts flow like water when I type. But thanks so much for the council! I've only had a few dreams in my life I have felt God trying to talk to me. But like the face drooping, I get chilled very easy. But walking into the light was a happy ending and I will ask God how He wants me to connect to people and to whom.

 

[Hidden In Him]

That first paragraph you wrote is a bit unclear to me. I keep typing long paragraphs and deleting, but it brings things to my mind. Can you explain that a bit more?

It reminds me of unsaved loved ones who I feel when I've lived close to them and tried to build a relationship with, I seemed to be more depressed and fall away from God. I tend to talk about God a lot. He is my life. I used to be very legalistic when I was younger and tried to evangelize them, so I was quite criticized. As I got older I believe I have more love and grace. But I do talk and sing about Christ a lot, and I think that is why we never got close. I think I desire blood family. And I never had a true connection there. It is hard, because I am super close to my church family, husband, and my little girl is the love of my life. But it is still like looking out a window sometimes.

I think maybe you self-analyze yourself right out of connections that are there to be had. This seems to be the implication of the old man wanting to go to you, but you couldn't be stopped from going on to be with God. It suggests there are those who would like to be closer to you, but you tend to be the one stopping it.

Well, now keep in mind, my statement was in reference to non-family. That appears to be who is depicted by the old man. And maybe that's a key to your being happier. In Christ your "family" changes, from one of blood relatives to those who are your "mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters" in Christ (Mark 10:29-30).

Anyhow, I may need to just take this in prayer now, because I am really trying to be more discreet on the internet. My thoughts flow like water when I type. But thanks so much for the council! I've only had a few dreams in my life I have felt God trying to talk to me. But like the face drooping, I get chilled very easy. But walking into the light was a happy ending and I will ask God how He wants me to connect to people and to whom.

You are very welcome! And the Lord will give you even better counsel than I ever could if you go to Him, so I advise you to do just that. But I think this was an important dream for you, and I hope after meditation it leads to you living a very happy and love-filled life.

Your friend,
Hidden In Him

 

[Mayflower1]

My husband and I had this family life group we go to and talk about different things like our relationships with family and friends. After praying too, looking into this more has been very enlightening and helpful. I will continue to seek Him first, trust and wait patiently for Him, and as Psalms says, He will give me the desires of my heart. He already has given me so much already. His grace alone is sufficient.

 

[Mayflower1]

And I realize I have tons of connections. Ones I wouldn't have if we moved home near my family. I remember several years ago, a mentor told me that she had never seen someone loved by so many, but so alone. I am very loved. And my mom and God are not my only friends anymore. I could just cry thinking of all the love and support over the years. Even on Christian Forums. I have may lost touch with my old internet buddies on here, mainly because I had come on in 2005 mainly seeking mental health council, but I have gotten so much love and support.

I had another dream I've never forgotten when I was at Teen challenge. I was in this bathroom stall with a knife and I was deciding whether to cut or not. I already had cuts on me. But there was this huge hill and there were a huge multitude of people on it, many I knew, praying for me.

God's love amazes me. And He has said it over and over again He loves me and He has sent so many who love me. I should pray for my blood family and embrace those who are more then just visitors in my life.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

I have read mostly the beginning posts of this thread so far. What I got to mind is something God has reminded me too of since last year, and I still keep it in mind, because of own changes I have been going through. I am still learning to accept it better, as sometimes it can still feel painful to me.

I was reminded of this bible verse;

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

These bible verses are all equal important, but the reason I lined one part of this is because I read an article once about suffering whilst giving Him glory through it. We are also meant to be bearing much fruits, fruits which are stored up treasures in heaven and not on earth.

Everything we get and have on earth will soon disappear, it won't last forever. Yet in heaven we will have eternal bodies, everything we get when we are with God will last with no end to it. Understanding the concept of eternity and how it's duration is build up can be hard to fully get for our human mind. But I will just trust God, knowing that forever means for All Time with No End! As He also states through His Word!

Be blessed in Jesus Christ!

 

[faroukfarouk]

Anyhow, I may need to just take this in prayer now, because I am really trying to be more discreet on the internet. My thoughts flow like water when I type. But thanks so much for the council! I've only had a few dreams in my life I have felt God trying to talk to me. But like the face drooping, I get chilled very easy. But walking into the light was a happy ending and I will ask God how He wants me to connect to people and to whom.

Philippians 4.8 is a good verse for us all to help us concentrate our thoughts in the right direction.