Can't function, hard to work, ruining relationships...

[589sv]

As I'm getting older, dealing with anxiety and depression is getting to be too much to handle. I'm not able to perform well at work, as I am an independent contractor so all the work I do is self made, and it's difficult to get the motivation and initiative to work enough hours. I am miserable and it's always difficult for me to get a new job, so I'm always stuck. I really want to meet new people but I've never been good at it, and even at church it's been extremely difficult, because im not good at making friends. My relationships with my immediate family is strained because of what I'm dealing with.I'm still affected by being in a verbally and emotionally abusive 'relationship' with someone who was clinically unstable. I've tried Christian counseling with no help so I'm just really confused about God and what I believe. I'm tired of struggling and still can't get by, I don't have any hope that it will get better because it just gets worse, and I'm tired of not being able to enjoy life, feeling trapped inside all of this mess, and even though on the outside it looks like I should not have a reason to be this miserable. And being told that I'm not doing enough by my parents just makes me want to give up. I'm trying so hard but nothing is working. It hurts so much....

 

[brinny]

As I'm getting older, dealing with anxiety and depression is getting to be too much to handle. I'm not able to perform well at work, as I am an independent contractor so all the work I do is self made, and it's difficult to get the motivation and initiative to work enough hours. I am miserable and it's always difficult for me to get a new job, so I'm always stuck. I really want to meet new people but I've never been good at it, and even at church it's been extremely difficult, because im not good at making friends. My relationships with my immediate family is strained because of what I'm dealing with.I'm still affected by being in a verbally and emotionally abusive 'relationship' with someone who was clinically unstable. I've tried Christian counseling with no help so I'm just really confused about God and what I believe. I'm tired of struggling and still can't get by, I don't have any hope that it will get better because it just gets worse, and I'm tired of not being able to enjoy life, feeling trapped inside all of this mess, and even though on the outside it looks like I should not have a reason to be this miserable. And being told that I'm not doing enough by my parents just makes me want to give up. I'm trying so hard but nothing is working. It hurts so much....

i'm soooo sorry, precious. Lifting you up to our heavenly Father Who CAN intervene in ways beyond our understanding. Praying that He calms and stills you, as well as all that is coming at you, and ministers to you, heals you, and is the Lifter of your head. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen (((hug)))

 

[589sv]

i'm soooo sorry, precious. Lifting you up to our heavenly Father Who CAN intervene in ways beyond our understanding. Praying that He calms and stills you, as well as all that is coming at you, and ministers to you, heals you, and is the Lifter of your head. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen (((hug)))

Thank youuu... He just seems so far away idk if I believe it but I want to...

 

[brinny]

Thank youuu... He just seems so far away idk if I believe it but I want to...

Feelings go up n' down like a roller coaster, dear heart. Praying that He stills and calms you and draws you to Him and intervenes and ministers and shoos away all that is coming at you. Father may it be so for your precious and beloved daughter, in the name of Jesus, amen. (((hug)))

 

[God is good]

God loves you and He is with you always. Jesus is Lord and God will cary you through this. God bless and Jesus is Lord

 

[Winken]

As I'm getting older, dealing with anxiety and depression is getting to be too much to handle. I'm not able to perform well at work, as I am an independent contractor so all the work I do is self made, and it's difficult to get the motivation and initiative to work enough hours. I am miserable and it's always difficult for me to get a new job, so I'm always stuck. I really want to meet new people but I've never been good at it, and even at church it's been extremely difficult, because im not good at making friends. My relationships with my immediate family is strained because of what I'm dealing with.I'm still affected by being in a verbally and emotionally abusive 'relationship' with someone who was clinically unstable. I've tried Christian counseling with no help so I'm just really confused about God and what I believe. I'm tired of struggling and still can't get by, I don't have any hope that it will get better because it just gets worse, and I'm tired of not being able to enjoy life, feeling trapped inside all of this mess, and even though on the outside it looks like I should not have a reason to be this miserable. And being told that I'm not doing enough by my parents just makes me want to give up. I'm trying so hard but nothing is working. It hurts so much....

Tears........... I know how it once was with me. No social skills, no real friends, a loner even in a local Christian assembly. Someone said, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength." I didn't have any strength to begin with. Still, I read Isaiah 40:31, and suddenly realized that "wait" in that context did not mean to just sit back and actually wait, but it meant to actively involve myself with others and to watch as Almighty God unfolded His original plan for me. I slowly but surely got more involved in life, developing all those skills not as depressed, not as a loner, but as one who realized that the Holy Spirit lived inside of me and that I was walking hand-in-hand with my Savior. Tears turned to relief, relief turned to joy, joy turned to thanking Him every step of the way ..... on His original plan. Bible study became a wonderful time to worship with Him. As you meet Him in prayer, as you think of Him moment-by-moment, the plan unfolds.

Father, be the ever-present Spiritual Guide.