Can this be fixed?

SANTOSO

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I need some marriage advice

I got married at the age of 20. Why? Because I wanted to stop fornicating, and she was my best friend, I thought I had experienced everything I would ever want to. Fast forward 15 years and three children later (13,12,8), I have had affairs with over 50 women. Some of these my wife knows about, but many she does not. Every few years I will break down and confess I cheated. But I always play down the number of women I was during that time.

I am at the point where I do not want to do this anymore. I have prayed and prayed and prayed that God would give me a desire only for my wife, and that prayer has still been left unanswered. I have given my life to God as much as I know how, but I fail all the time. Porn has always been an issue, and although I look at it less and less, I still see things in real life, like women half dressed, a woman with a tight dress, it fires up my lust, and it leads me down the path of looking at twerking videos, or dance videos, or to create an online account with a dating site. I just never can do the right thing.

Should I leave Christianity? I’ve been there 18 years now, and although I truly desire to live it out, I find it difficult to accomplish. Should I just give my wife a divorce, and let her go free? It seems the right thing to do. Either way I lose out. If I stay with her, I lose the ability to be free and explore my lust, fantasies and all the other junk I want to do, freely. I will still do it, just hidden in the dark. Or if I let her go, I will be broke financially, and emotionally, and my family will be ruined. But isn’t my family already ruined?

I wish I were a stronger man. The truth is, I was not ready for marriage, and with 15 years of experience, I still am not prepared to be married.

Hi ‘Xavier Cane’,
You can be fixed !?
How? You may ask.
Let me share on how God heal my heart !

How long have I been a Christian ?
How many years have I wasted away ?
How shameful I became?

My turning point is that I cannot accept who I became !

I HATE who I became !

This ‘HATE’ I believe is the fear of God, that is, TO HATE EVIL !

For it is written:
The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil.
Pride and arrogance
and the way of evil
and perverted speech
I HATE. -Proverbs 8:13

It is RIGHT to hate pride in oneself !
It is RIGHT to hate arrogance in oneself !
It is RIGHT to hate way of evil in oneself !
It is RIGHT to hate perverted speech in oneself !

For many who desire to REPENT or turn from sin to God is :

to embrace THIS FEAR OF GOD !

It is REVEALED in the Proverbs:

By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for,
and by THE FEAR OF THE LORD one turns away from evil. -Proverbs 16:6

Yes, ALL can turn away from evil by THE FEAR OF THE LORD.

For it is written:
ALL we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned'every one'to his own way;
and the LORD ( God the Father )
has laid on Him ( Christ Jesus)
the iniquity of us all. -Isaiah 53:6

Yes, ALL have gone — strayed BEFORE — follow our own way !

But that do not stop our Lord Jesus gave Himself up to die for our sins on the cross;

By His steadfast love and faithfulness,
Christ Jesus fulfill God the Father’s purpose
to ATONE our iniquities.

Have we forgotten that we have been CLEANSED from former sins?

Have we been BLIND that we cannot see His steadfast love and faithfulness?

Can we IGNORE SUCH LOVE ?

When I start hating my pride, hating my arrogance,
hating my conduct and
hating perverse things ;
my LIFE began to TURN !

For we have been taught before:
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. -James 4:7

I believe in the name of God.

I claim that His power of His name WORK in my life.

For it is written for our instructions:

Through You ( Lord Jesus Christ)
we push down our foes;
through YOUR NAME ( the name of Lord Jesus Christ)

we tread down those who rise up against us. -Psalms 44:5

This is what I SPEAK :
In the power of Jesus Christ’s name, I resist pride !
Amen

In the power of Jesus Christ’s name, I resist arrogance !
Amen

In the power of Jesus Christ’s name, I resist perverse things !
Amen

I have faith in the power of Christ Jesus’s name and REPEAT again and again when the devil start harassing me in my thoughts !

INDEED, the devil flee !
Hallelujah

How awesome is God’s name.

As I have come to learn In THIS STRUGGLE AGAINST SIN is

A GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH AGAINST SIN.

For the words written in the Holy Scripture for our instructions:

In YOUR STRUGGLE AGAINST SIN you have not yet RESISTED to the point of shedding your blood. -Hebrews 12:4

Fight THE GOOD FIGHT OF THE FAITH. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. -1 Timothy 6:12

Yes, we are called to continue to DECLARE OUR FAITH AGAINST SIN !
like DECLARING WAR AGAINST SIN !

Yes, we FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH AGAINST SIN is that we have to make a STAND by proclaiming our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that we RESIST the enemy, that is, SIN.

For when we proclaim our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ;

the Lord is with us, that is :

for the LORD our God is He who goes with us to fight for us against our enemies, to give us the victory.' -Deuteronomy 20:4

or you can say it :

for the LORD my God is
He who goes with me
to fight for me against
my enemies,
to give me the victory.' -Deuteronomy 20:4

Yes, when we REPENT, we have TURN to God like a sheep went

a-strayed, as apostle Peter relate to us:

For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. -1 Peter 2:25


Yes, we have RETURNED TO
our Lord Jesus Christ who is
our Shepherd
and Overseer of our SOULS.

This is what have been PROMISED to us:
And in Your steadfast love You ( Lord Jesus) will cut off my enemies,
and You ( Lord Jesus ) will destroy ALL THE ADVERSARIES OF MY SOUL,
for I am Your servant. -Psalms 143:12

Yes, our Jesus Christ in His steadfast love, will surely cut off our enemies!

Yes, our Jesus Christ will destroy ALL THE ADVERSARIES OF OUR SOULS

because we are the servants of Jesus Christ.

As apostle Paul relate to us:
and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. -Romans 6:18

As apostle Paul have told us :
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. -Romans 6:12

Do not present your members to sin
as instruments for unrighteousness,
but PRESENT YOURSELVES TO GOD
as those who have been brought from death to life,
and your members to God
as INSTRUMENTS FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS. -Romans 6:13


For sin will have NO DOMINION OVER YOU,
since you are not under law but UNDER GRACE. -Romans 6:14


When we continue to
BELIEVE DAILY in Christ Jesus’ steadfast love and faithfulness, we are under His grace !

Sin will have NO DOMINION over us when we continue BATTLE OF FAITH AGAINST SIN.

As we have heard when the Lord comes again :

And then they will see the Son of Man ( Jesus ) coming in a cloud with power and great glory. -Luke 21:27

Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads,
because YOUR REDEMPTION IS DRAWING NEAR." -Luke 21:28

Jesus Christ our Lord and Redeemer, will come soon !

Then comes the end, when He ( our Lord Jesus Christ) delivers the kingdom to God the Father after DESTROYING EVERY RULE AND EVERY AUTHORITY AND POWER. -1 Corinthians 15:24

For He ( Lord ) must reign until He ( Lord Jesus )has put all His enemies under His ( Christ’s ) feet. -1 Corinthians 15:25

As apostle Paul who has overcome sin through faith in Christ Jesus, have spoken:

So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and ALIVE to God IN CHRIST JESUS. -Romans 6:11

We are alive to God when we continue to BELIEVE in all God’s promises that He has made for us!

For this is spoken in the Holy Scripture:
This is my comfort in my affliction, that YOUR PROMISE GIVES ME LIFE. -Psalms 119:50

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah.
Let us give God’s name the glory
because of His steadfast love and faithfulness, that we are saved.
Amen

———————————————————————
‘Xavier Cane’
Draw near to God, He will draw near to you.
Repent wholeheartedly then you shall find Him.
Nothing is impossible with God !
Love your wife and children with the love that comes from God.
Trust and proclaim the power of Christ’s blood can make your marriage whole and can make your family strong in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Walk in the paths of repentance like Mary Magdalene!
For Mary Magdalene’s repentance is a source of love for our Lord Jesus Christ!
Her repentance bear fruit of love and righteousness in Christ Jesus.
GBU
 
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fixn_junk

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Are you aware of churches with ministers who are without sin? If so, please name them....for I have not found any.
Paul's instruction to Timothy on the qualifications of elders is clear. Now we all know there is no man, except Christ, that could meet those qualifications in perfection which is why we look for direction not perfection. With many years of living in adultery and admission of not desiring to give up that lifestyle he has disqualified himself from ministry.
 
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StillGods

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maybe you need deliverance from a spirit of lust.
if nothing else you should step down from ministry because this is an ongoing issue for you that is dangerous and unresolved, especially if any of your affairs have involved people in your congregation.
not sure why your wife hasnt separated once she heard about your affairs several times I would have thought she might have had enough of being hurt so badly. and you may have given her disease from other people too. it's so sad for both of you that this has happened. it will also be affecting your children, you may not think it but they will see how you look at women, trust me they will be being affected you're harming their future marriages aswell if you dont sort it out.. but it is fixable if you truely do want to get rid of this out of your life...you might be getting to that point maybe...

have you tried fasting... for real and regularly regarding this issue? actually for real bring it to God like the persistent widow.
go back to counselling. but seriously step back from ministry, no one is perfect but this issue will be dulling your ability to hear God anyway given that it has such a hold on you, so your ministry will be being very much affected by what you are doing sadly.
 
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Aussie Pete

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I need some marriage advice

I got married at the age of 20. Why? Because I wanted to stop fornicating, and she was my best friend, I thought I had experienced everything I would ever want to. Fast forward 15 years and three children later (13,12,8), I have had affairs with over 50 women. Some of these my wife knows about, but many she does not. Every few years I will break down and confess I cheated. But I always play down the number of women I was during that time.

I am at the point where I do not want to do this anymore. I have prayed and prayed and prayed that God would give me a desire only for my wife, and that prayer has still been left unanswered. I have given my life to God as much as I know how, but I fail all the time. inappropriate content has always been an issue, and although I look at it less and less, I still see things in real life, like women half dressed, a woman with a tight dress, it fires up my lust, and it leads me down the path of looking at twerking videos, or dance videos, or to create an online account with a dating site. I just never can do the right thing.

Should I leave Christianity? I’ve been there 18 years now, and although I truly desire to live it out, I find it difficult to accomplish. Should I just give my wife a divorce, and let her go free? It seems the right thing to do. Either way I lose out. If I stay with her, I lose the ability to be free and explore my lust, fantasies and all the other junk I want to do, freely. I will still do it, just hidden in the dark. Or if I let her go, I will be broke financially, and emotionally, and my family will be ruined. But isn’t my family already ruined?

I wish I were a stronger man. The truth is, I was not ready for marriage, and with 15 years of experience, I still am not prepared to be married.
Your problem is deeper than lust, although that is an obvious problem. You need to have a hatred for sin. You need to see how destructive it is and how much you are hurting yourself.

You will never be able to live the Christian life. Only one person has done that. His name is Jesus. God has already answered your prayers, but you have not seen it. You are trying the impossible. Jesus says that He is the life of the born again believer. If He can be full of lust, so can you. If He is an adulterer, you may be also. You need to know that you are dead to sin, self, Satan and the world.

I don't know if you are aware of demons, but it seems obvious that you are bound by a demon of lust. Seek deliverance as soon as you can. Divorce will not solve your problem. You have painted yourself into a corner. Good. God, through Christ, can deliver you. You must ask and you must mean it. God has never let anyone down.

 
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