Can/should a Christian have meaningful friendships with non-Christians? What limits should there be with non-Christian friendships?

[JamesGwal]

I've been battling with this question for a long time now and I can't seem to find a definite answer to it. I can pull out any number of verses that speaks of the mind and the character of a person that denies the sovereignty of God and rejects the Messiah. I can find an equal amount of verses that speak to the fellowship that we have with fellow believers and our family that is brought together through Christ. What we can find throughout the bible, and in the Epistles in particular, is that there is without a doubt a very certain and specific divide between those that accept the almighty God and his will and those who have no part in it. I have been trying to research this matter for a while. What I am usually met with the quote from Jesus in the book of Matthew (Matthew 12:30), “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” With this, I often find discussions of the commission.
This particular dilemma does not involve the above, though. I have friends (two, in particular, I've known for well over a decade) that simply want nothing to do with God. My religious talks fall on deaf ears, mockery, and so on for so many people in my life and I am just not certain what I should do about it. On one hand, I could remain friends with them, and continue in my duties on earth to preach the gospel to them in hopes that one day they will turn to Him. This seems like the answer. However at least half of them resent me for it, and a quarter mock me for my faith. It seems like when a conversation involves religious matters it goes south. Some part of me wants to say, "I've done my part, I should move on and give my time to others" and another part of me wants to hold on to these people many that I have known for so long.

I'm at the point now with this that I just want to know what the biblical thing to do is. I feel like there is a case to be made with either decision but I also can recognize that there are emotions involved with this that may cloud my judgment. If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it.

 

[oikonomia]

I've been battling with this question for a long time now and I can't seem to find a definite answer to it. I can pull out any number of verses that speaks of the mind and the character of a person that denies the sovereignty of God and rejects the Messiah. I can find an equal amount of verses that speak to the fellowship that we have with fellow believers and our family that is brought together through Christ. What we can find throughout the bible, and in the Epistles in particular, is that there is without a doubt a very certain and specific divide between those that accept the almighty God and his will and those who have no part in it. I have been trying to research this matter for a while. What I am usually met with the quote from Jesus in the book of Matthew (Matthew 12:30), “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” With this, I often find discussions of the commission.
This particular dilemma does not involve the above, though. I have friends (two, in particular, I've known for well over a decade) that simply want nothing to do with God. My religious talks fall on deaf ears, mockery, and so on for so many people in my life and I am just not certain what I should do about it. On one hand, I could remain friends with them, and continue in my duties on earth to preach the gospel to them in hopes that one day they will turn to Him. This seems like the answer. However at least half of them resent me for it, and a quarter mock me for my faith. It seems like when a conversation involves religious matters it goes south. Some part of me wants to say, "I've done my part, I should move on and give my time to others" and another part of me wants to hold on to these people many that I have known for so long.

I'm at the point now with this that I just want to know what the biblical thing to do is. I feel like there is a case to be made with either decision but I also can recognize that there are emotions involved with this that may cloud my judgment. If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it.

We cannot avoid interacting with all kinds of people. This is good for our testimony and sharing our faith.
But we should pray for wisdom from the Lord how to deal with each.

Is the Lord burdening your heart to speak the gospel to this or that one? You don't really know until you seek Him.
He will honor that you sought Him.

The word says as much as it is POSSIBLE with you, live in peace with all men.
This is flexible, accomodating, and takes into account how much grace you have.

Romans 12:18 - If possible, as far as it depends on you, live in peace with all men.

Sometimes it is easier for some types to pull YOU down rather than for you to pull THEM up.
We learn in humility by being with many different kinds of people.

Some people are simply over your head.
You love them and treat them with respect.
You let them watch your testimony of living.
This may be just your sowing the seed. Others may reap down the road.
God alone will get the glory.

Only if really led and anointed by the Spirit, be careful in preaching to someone older than you.
They know the proprieties of human life more than you do because of their greater age.
Preaching to them is not easy because of this.
However you may TESTIFY to them your experience. That is a matter of CONFESSION.
There is a difference between preaching to someone and confessing the good confession to them.

I have been advized and have learned, it is not easy to preach to or teach an older person.
Sometimes, such an older one may influence you before you influence them.

Likewise, it is good to teach or preach to someone whose status in life in like your own.
Fair or not, you should consider your circumstances as compared to theirs.
I do not say don't preach to them. I say consider the comparative circumstances.

IE. You're neglegiently behind on your bills and he is wiser at budgeting and is current with his obligations.
You may testify. But you may consider "Do I have the right to preach?"
You may confess your faith. You may have to consider "My lot right now is below his. Do I have the right position to preach to him?"
Sometimes it is wise to consider YOUR situation as compared to the OTHER's situation before teaching and preaching.

My wife always reminds me to pray and not be impulsive.
I mean we should be ready in the gospel in season and out of season.
But being impulsive may not be good - Thus a prayer - "Lord Jesus do you want me to speak to this person? Give me a way Lord."

Be careful with the opposite sex. Too many a man or women of God is deceived in this case by the subtle one.
If possible do not be alone with a person of the opposite sex. Someone else should be present if possible.
Do not "flirt to convert".
And do not assume that with the opposite sex you, of course, can be STRONG.
We are all WEAK in this area. So the Christian must be very cautious.

On the job, in employment, as a co-worker, a gospel spreader MUST have a good working ethic.
That is the FIRST thing the Holy Spirit convicted me of as a eager young evangelistic minded Christian.
If you are on the job, you have to show a respectable working ethic or your words will not be respected.

If we abide in Him and He in us, He will bear fruit through us.

 

[tampasteve]

Of course we can, in fact having a close and influential relationship with non-Christians is one of the best ways for us to spread the Gospel through our words and deeds - to be a witness to the unbeliever. That said, true friends, even un-believing friends do not mock one another, that is unkind and unfriend-like. If they know of our faith we don't need to be actively preach through words - preach through your life and your actions. Many people seem hard of heart, but they are watching us and our witness, and many eventually do turn to God eventually.

Be careful with the opposite sex. Too many a man or women of God is deceived in this case by the subtle one.
If possible do not be alone with a person of the opposite sex. Someone else should be present if possible.
Do not "flirt to convert".
And do not assume that with the oppposite sex you, of course, can be STRONG.
We are all WEAK in this area. So the Christian must be very cautious.

This is sage advice that all too many people do not abide by.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I've been battling with this question for a long time now and I can't seem to find a definite answer to it. I can pull out any number of verses that speaks of the mind and the character of a person that denies the sovereignty of God and rejects the Messiah. I can find an equal amount of verses that speak to the fellowship that we have with fellow believers and our family that is brought together through Christ. What we can find throughout the bible, and in the Epistles in particular, is that there is without a doubt a very certain and specific divide between those that accept the almighty God and his will and those who have no part in it. I have been trying to research this matter for a while. What I am usually met with the quote from Jesus in the book of Matthew (Matthew 12:30), “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” With this, I often find discussions of the commission.
This particular dilemma does not involve the above, though. I have friends (two, in particular, I've known for well over a decade) that simply want nothing to do with God. My religious talks fall on deaf ears, mockery, and so on for so many people in my life and I am just not certain what I should do about it. On one hand, I could remain friends with them, and continue in my duties on earth to preach the gospel to them in hopes that one day they will turn to Him. This seems like the answer. However at least half of them resent me for it, and a quarter mock me for my faith. It seems like when a conversation involves religious matters it goes south. Some part of me wants to say, "I've done my part, I should move on and give my time to others" and another part of me wants to hold on to these people many that I have known for so long.

I'm at the point now with this that I just want to know what the biblical thing to do is. I feel like there is a case to be made with either decision but I also can recognize that there are emotions involved with this that may cloud my judgment. If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth never said it was easy. The harvest is great but the harvesters are few. Don't abandon your friends. The only reason they resent or make fun of you is because a stirring of their conscience is taking place. Have a seat at the table! If one day no one is at the table, then your work for the Kingdom is done. Put on the full armor of God! Love your friends till the end because your Father loves them more than you. They are worth fighting for.

On a side note: It is best to show them by your actions rather than get into debates that only cause anger.

Blessings.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I've been battling with this question for a long time now and I can't seem to find a definite answer to it. I can pull out any number of verses that speaks of the mind and the character of a person that denies the sovereignty of God and rejects the Messiah. I can find an equal amount of verses that speak to the fellowship that we have with fellow believers and our family that is brought together through Christ. What we can find throughout the bible, and in the Epistles in particular, is that there is without a doubt a very certain and specific divide between those that accept the almighty God and his will and those who have no part in it. I have been trying to research this matter for a while. What I am usually met with the quote from Jesus in the book of Matthew (Matthew 12:30), “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” With this, I often find discussions of the commission.
This particular dilemma does not involve the above, though. I have friends (two, in particular, I've known for well over a decade) that simply want nothing to do with God. My religious talks fall on deaf ears, mockery, and so on for so many people in my life and I am just not certain what I should do about it. On one hand, I could remain friends with them, and continue in my duties on earth to preach the gospel to them in hopes that one day they will turn to Him. This seems like the answer. However at least half of them resent me for it, and a quarter mock me for my faith. It seems like when a conversation involves religious matters it goes south. Some part of me wants to say, "I've done my part, I should move on and give my time to others" and another part of me wants to hold on to these people many that I have known for so long.

I'm at the point now with this that I just want to know what the biblical thing to do is. I feel like there is a case to be made with either decision but I also can recognize that there are emotions involved with this that may cloud my judgment. If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it.

Welcome to CF!

 

[oikonomia]

Many people seem hard of heart, but they are watching us and our witness, and many eventually do turn to God eventually.

Amen.

"Many people seem hard of heart, but they are watching us and our witness, and many eventually do turn to God eventually."

Bears repeating. As many of us were hard and came to the Lord by seeing, so with others likewise.

 

[Strong in Him]

I've been battling with this question for a long time now and I can't seem to find a definite answer to it.

What did Jesus do?
Did his disciples fully understand who he was? Did the tax collectors and sinners believe in God?

I have friends (two, in particular, I've known for well over a decade) that simply want nothing to do with God. My religious talks fall on deaf ears, mockery, and so on for so many people in my life and I am just not certain what I should do about it.

Personally, I'd say ditch the religious talks.
Just be their friends, love them, offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on if needed. Enjoy the things you do together (as long as they don't contradict Scripture or go against your principals.) Ask about them, show an interest in their lives, and not just their future destinies. Let them see an example of a changed life - yours - and of Christ living in you. Always be ready to share your testimony and your faith - but don't push it by artificially starting conversations.
And pray for them.

On one hand, I could remain friends with them, and continue in my duties on earth to preach the gospel to them in hopes that one day they will turn to Him. This seems like the answer. However at least half of them resent me for it, and a quarter mock me for my faith. It seems like when a conversation involves religious matters it goes south.

See above.
Your part is to be salt of the earth, light to the world and a witness and ambassador for Christ.
You don't have to preach, or have a religious conversation, every time you meet - let your life show your faith, and Christ. This might mean not joining in gossip, not treating them just as people to be converted, practicing good timekeeping, doing your work/job faithfully and well - or maybe something like volunteering with the homeless/poor/disabled - as Jesus did.

And just a hint, if you are preaching the Gospel only out of duty, it may not sound too convincing. Love should be the motivation - plus, obviously, being filled with the Holy Spirit and doing it in his power, with his gifts.

Some part of me wants to say, "I've done my part, I should move on and give my time to others" and another part of me wants to hold on to these people many that I have known for so long.

You've known them for a long time; you are friends with them, and they are friends with you - despite you preaching to them.
Just be their friends; love them and pray for them.

I'm at the point now with this that I just want to know what the biblical thing to do is. I feel like there is a case to be made with either decision

It sounds like you're being too analytical.
We are called to love, not to judge how much a person knows of God and whether or not they are worthy of our friendship.

 

[CoreyD]

I've been battling with this question for a long time now and I can't seem to find a definite answer to it. I can pull out any number of verses that speaks of the mind and the character of a person that denies the sovereignty of God and rejects the Messiah. I can find an equal amount of verses that speak to the fellowship that we have with fellow believers and our family that is brought together through Christ. What we can find throughout the bible, and in the Epistles in particular, is that there is without a doubt a very certain and specific divide between those that accept the almighty God and his will and those who have no part in it. I have been trying to research this matter for a while. What I am usually met with the quote from Jesus in the book of Matthew (Matthew 12:30), “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” With this, I often find discussions of the commission.
This particular dilemma does not involve the above, though. I have friends (two, in particular, I've known for well over a decade) that simply want nothing to do with God. My religious talks fall on deaf ears, mockery, and so on for so many people in my life and I am just not certain what I should do about it. On one hand, I could remain friends with them, and continue in my duties on earth to preach the gospel to them in hopes that one day they will turn to Him. This seems like the answer. However at least half of them resent me for it, and a quarter mock me for my faith. It seems like when a conversation involves religious matters it goes south. Some part of me wants to say, "I've done my part, I should move on and give my time to others" and another part of me wants to hold on to these people many that I have known for so long.

I'm at the point now with this that I just want to know what the biblical thing to do is. I feel like there is a case to be made with either decision but I also can recognize that there are emotions involved with this that may cloud my judgment. If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it.

This made me think of you in the same way Jesus felt toward the young man at Mark 10:21 - Looking at him, Jesus felt a love (high regard, compassion) for him.
So good to find persons sincerely interested in pleasing the father.


I can see you have done a good deal of research on this subject, and given it much prayerful thought.
I an certain your prayers will be answered.

I can share with you scriptures that have helped me with this.
When Jesus sent his disciples out to preach, he said, 'Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.' Luke 10:3
He also cautioned them, 'so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.' - Matthew 10:16
He then said this to them -

And whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace be to this house.’​

And if a son of peace is there, your peace will rest on it; if not, it will return to you.​

Luke 10:5, 6

From this, we see that Jesus' followers were to be at peace with all. We can say they were to be friends of peace.
Even if persons were unfriendly, they were to remain peaceful - friendly toward all.

Being friendly did not mean letting their guard down - be wise as serpents, Jesus said.
That harmonizes with what other writers of the Bible said.

Proverbs 13:20 -One who walks with wise people will be wise, But a companion of fools will suffer harm. See Psalms 14:1

Genesis 34:1, 2 shows what can happen when we let down our guard.
The reason is, we cannot always identify wolves, or goats in a figurative sense. They do not reveal their heart to us, and we cannot read them anyway.
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

I have found that the counsel from these scriptures are not only practical, but reliable and trustworthy.
We have not only seen this in Dinah's case, but many examples in the Bible, and I have personal experience with this. Many friends have fared badly because of not paying heed to this counsel.

On the other hand, keeping company with people of like mind - one of faiths, has great benefits for our present faith.
Proverbs 27:17 -As iron sharpens iron, So one person sharpens another.

In summary.
Christians are friendly towards everyone, but Christians do not keep friends - company - with everyone.
Hope this was useful.

 

[anetazo]

Christian people have to work at jobs with the heathen. Grocery shopping. Visit doctor office. Bank, ect. Dont pick up their ways, thier heathen traditions and customs. Don't be influenced by them. Proverbs 10:1. Better is the poor that walk in his Integrity, Than he that is perverse in his lips and is a fool.
The heathen don't know God and don't care. Keep minimum contact and talking. We have to be around the heathen, just don't pick up their heathen ways or par take in their sins.
First Corinthians 5:10. Yet not altogether with the fornication of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
Don't mix with them. Dont be par takers of their sins. Don't allow them to influence you. Get away from them when its possible.
Yes you have to pay the mechanic for fixing your car. Don't get involved with the heathen. Do private bible studies. Keep to yourself at your home. Myself, I avoid my neighbors, I have no friends. Except Jesus and the body of christ. Get the picture. I only at minimum talk to heathen if neccessary, and pull out as soon as possible. I hope this helps.

 

[Strong in Him]

Christian people have to work at jobs with the heathen. Grocery shopping. Visit doctor office. Bank, ect. Dont pick up their ways, thier heathen traditions and customs. Don't be influenced by them. Proverbs 10:1. Better is the poor that walk in his Integrity, Than he that is perverse in his lips and is a fool.
The heathen don't know God and don't care. Keep minimum contact and talking. We have to be around the heathen, just don't pick up their heathen ways or par take in their sins.
First Corinthians 5:10. Yet not altogether with the fornication of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
Don't mix with them. Dont be par takers of their sins. Don't allow them to influence you. Get away from them when its possible.
Yes you have to pay the mechanic for fixing your car. Don't get involved with the heathen. Do private bible studies. Keep to yourself at your home. Myself, I avoid my neighbors, I have no friends. Except Jesus and the body of christ. Get the picture. I only at minimum talk to heathen if neccessary, and pull out as soon as possible. I hope this helps.

Absolutely agree that we shouldn't adopt the customs, lifestyle and morals of non Christians - but not that we avoid them or have minimum contact.
That's not what Jesus did.
We will be salt of the earth by getting out there, living and witnessing among non Christians - not by sitting in our salt shakers in a holy huddle.
Neither Jesus, the Apostles nor Paul did that.

 

[anetazo]

Absolutely agree that we shouldn't adopt the customs, lifestyle and morals of non Christians - but not that we avoid them or have minimum contact.
That's not what Jesus did.
We will be salt of the earth by getting out there, living and witnessing among non Christians - not by sitting in our salt shakers in a holy huddle.
Neither Jesus, the Apostles nor Paul did that.

Yes your right my friend. I forgot to mention. When planting seeds with the heathen, Christian should pull out immediately. James chapter 6, Christian people are to plant seeds for God, helping lost souls headed for hell. Yes, Christian people are here to help lost souls. We're not self righteous. We are to produce fruit for God when its possible. Don't allow the heathen to impair your judgment or influence you.
Be good witness to them.
Thank you for reminding me of this. I sometimes forget. Peace.

 

[look4hope]

As we are all sinners and no one is above of anyone else- just because we are Christians...firm believers of Jesus Christ, there should be no worries in making friendships with those who don’t follow the same path with beliefs.

Actually, wouldn’t it be as important or even most important to form relationships with those who are wary?

L4H

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Jesus had no problem engaging or even spending time with those who were not part of His "inner circle". But He also did so with intention. Meaning He spent time with non-believers with the intent of leading them to the Father. This should be our attitude for such relationships. I know what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians applies directly to marriages, but I think it's pretty sound wisdom for such like this as well:

12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), 1 Co 7:12–15.

If the unbelieving friend is ok with you hanging out with them, provided you are doing so with that intentionality in mind, then so be it, I wouldn't stop doing so. But if they ask you or tell you to stop talking about Jesus, then you probably should break the relationship at that point. Just make sure that while you are in the company of non-believers, you keep your eyes, focus, and purpose centered in Christ. Otherwise you open yourself up to temptation and sin.

Change the world, don't let the world change you.

 

[Strong in Him]

Jesus had no problem engaging or even spending time with those who were not part of His "inner circle". But He also did so with intention. Meaning He spent time with non-believers with the intent of leading them to the Father. This should be our attitude for such relationships.

Sorry, but I can't agree with that.
Make "friends" with people with the sole intention of converting them? What kind of friendship is that?
Supposing they never converted: or supposing they did, wanted to carry on the friendship and you didn't actually get on with them. You'd potentially have to confess that you were only interested in them until they became a Christian.

There is no evidence that Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners only to convert them.
Jesus didn't only come to earth for, and show love to, the ones who were going to believe in him.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Sorry, but I can't agree with that.
Make "friends" with people with the sole intention of converting them? What kind of friendship is that?
Supposing they never converted: or supposing they did, wanted to carry on the friendship and you didn't actually get on with them. You'd potentially have to confess that you were only interested in them until they became a Christian.

There is no evidence that Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners only to convert them.
Jesus didn't only come to earth for, and show love to, the ones who were going to believe in him.

I didn't ask you to agree with it, but it's a more scriptural stance to take than, Jesus just hung with the homies just to do so. Every instance recorded in scripture of Jesus spending time with "outsiders" He did so to teach them or to show them the Father. Every. Single. One.

What kind of friendship is a friendship where I love the other person unconditionally, sacrificially in the hopes that I can one day lead them to Jesus? That is the best kind of friendship, that seems like a rather odd question for a believer to ask.

 

[DragonFox91]

I wouldn’t recommend it. They drag you into their ways every time. I wouldn’t & don’t take it beyond working relationships. Most here will probably say ‘go for it.’ I’d be very careful & caution against it. As ByTheSpirit says: Jesus only did so to call them to repentance & show them he's King. If you are unwilling to ultimately do that, I don't think you should b/c you are too weak in the flesh.

 

[childeye 2]

I didn't ask you to agree with it, but it's a more scriptural stance to take than, Jesus just hung with the homies just to do so. Every instance recorded in scripture of Jesus spending time with "outsiders" He did so to teach them or to show them the Father. Every. Single. One.

What kind of friendship is a friendship where I love the other person unconditionally, sacrificially in the hopes that I can one day lead them to Jesus? That is the best kind of friendship, that seems like a rather odd question for a believer to ask.

Everyone is preaching something and showing their knowledge of God. My relationships/experiences with non-Christians, as well as those who identify as Christian, eventually becomes a discussion over the imagery of the term "God", which defines our terms, which in turn shows our perspective and reasonings. For me it usually comes down to esteeming God as the only source of what we deem as virtuous in mankind, and it's the semantics that form in subjective views that cause division.

 

[Strong in Him]

I didn't ask you to agree with it, but it's a more scriptural stance to take than, Jesus just hung with the homies just to do so.

No, it's not.
Jesus came to earth to die for sinners and to show all the way to God.
He showed compassion for the unclean, the outsiders; women, Gentiles, lepers, tax collectors. He did not heal people just to get them to believe in him - there is no evidence that they all did.

Every instance recorded in scripture of Jesus spending time with "outsiders" He did so to teach them or to show them the Father. Every. Single. One.

I'm sure he talked to them about the Father, but there is no evidence that he taught/healed/befriended/talked to them with the sole intention of converting them.

What kind of friendship is a friendship where I love the other person unconditionally, sacrificially in the hopes that I can one day lead them to Jesus?

In the hope that you can - maybe. Though you'd have to establish whether or not they were a Christian before you started to befriend them.
Only making friends with the intention of converting them - no.

Supposing someone else did that to you? Supposing you had no faith and a Muslim, for example, befriended you, got to know you etc etc. One day they talked to you about their faith, and you weren't interested. Then they dropped you as a friend, ignored you etc and you found out that their only aim had been to convert you;? How would you feel then?
There is a sect, maybe more than one, which "love bombs" potential converts. Members are instructed to invite potential converts them for a meal, flatter them, pay close attention to them etc - all with the aim of wearing down their defences/arguments with the intention of getting them into the cult.
God forbid that Christians should behave like that.

That is the best kind of friendship, that seems like a rather odd question for a believer to ask.

It sounded from your post as though the only reason for a friendship with non Christians would be conversion. Which implies that if conversion never happens, the friendship can end.
How about making friends with them because they are also people made in God's image? Because they are being friendly towards you? Because you have a lot in common?

 

[Neostarwcc]

There's nothing wrong with having non Christian friends. Just don't be alarmed if they persecute you for not acting the same way as they do.

An example would be, anytime I bring up that I haven't watched porn in 8 years my friends are always like, "umm, why did you quit?" And I tell them and they act like I'm this foreigner who should be using porn and should be engaging in the same stuff they do.

Don't forget. We're Christians that should be set apart from the world. To non Christians this is perplexing to us its just another day following Jesus. Just prepare yourself for that if you're going to have non Christian friends.

 

[CoreyD]

My friends.
Might I make a suggestion on how this 'argument' can be resolved.
When there was a disagreement between God and his people, God said, “Come now, and let us reason together”.

Perhaps we can thinks of scriptural examples that can help us find the principle to guide us in this matter.
I reference Dinah before.
Dinah would go out to visit the young ladies of the Canaanite people.
Genesis 34:1 - Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land.

Did God give any specific warning that should have told Dinah she was being unwise?
Deuteronomy 7:3-5
You must not intermarry with them, and you must not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons,
because they will turn your sons away from me to worship other gods. Then the LORD’s anger will burn against you, and he will swiftly destroy you.
Instead, this is what you are to do to them: tear down their altars, smash their sacred pillars, cut down their Asherah poles, and burn their carved images.

God did not say, don't associate with them, but he did not need to. The Israelites were not to intermarry - a strong warning to keep your daughter, and son, out of reach.
However, even stronger a warning, was the command to destroy their gods, and places of worship.

Dinah fared badly for her actions, which had further bad consequences.

Even when it came to friendship with Israelites who did not obey God, we have an examples, where a good person nearly lost his life for an unwise choice to associate with such persons.
There is the good king Jehoshaphat, who visited wicked King Ahab, but what happened? - 2 Chronicles 18

Of course, Jesus could read hearts. We can't, So Jesus dining with tax-collectors and sinners, should not surprise us, since he came to call sinners to repentance,
His going to Zacchaeus' home, is a fine example, bringing out that point.
Jesus knew the kind of man Zacchaeus was, and his visit was planned. His purpose - help Zacchaeus show what is within.

If we want to help people, Jesus gave us the direction on how to do it.
Luke 8:1; Luke 9:1-6; Luke 10:1-11
His apostles followed his directions, and instructions.
Not only would doing so, safeguard them, but it would help them to have the approval of their master, and Lord.

We don't want to forget the scriptural warnings. 1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

The good apples in this basket, will never rub off on the bad.

The reverse is always true.

What are your thoughts on this?