Can OCD make you lose your faith?

[tickletheivories]

I've recently been told I have a form of ocd. I've been obsessing about how god can be good and send people to hell. Triggered by a fear of dying and whether i was really saved or not. I've been trying so hard to keep believing god is good. I have never doubted god or his goodness before. The thing that always scared me most is that one day I might stop believing. A few days ago, I was in church and just started wondering if I really believed and feeling numb as I couldn't believe I'd got to a point where I just didn't know or not. I've been told that I can't rely on feelings and have to put faith in facts, but feeling so fake and finding it so hard. Trying hard to make myself accept that god knows what he is doing and to trust him with the hell issue. The thing that always kept me going is that i didnt doubt that jesus died for me. The past few days i havent been able to say that. Im so frightened that i will go to hell if i cant get my faith back. I feel so false at church. I just dont know what to do.How do I get my faith back? Has anyone else had this experience? This has all happened over a period of several months, where it has got harder and harder to fight the thoughts.

Hi crc134,
It's been years since this post was put up so I have no idea if you will respond. But, seeing what you wrote, I just wanted to say that I understand. A few years ago I went through a sort of crisis of faith and with my OCD kind of obssessed over whether knowing God was real or not, whether I would be saved or not etc.....and now it's morphed into being obsessed over God's goodness. Hell is one topic I struggled with; at times I felt angry about it, and of course I don't want to be, which threw me into a tormented feeling of "Wow I am super angry about this and yet I am terrified of what God will do about it" etc. For me my struggles are with whether God gives everyone a chance or not to be saved - in some scriptures it seems to indicate He does, but you know...I just don't REALLY KNOW for sure...and it drives me bonkers and can make me angry at Him. And I have a hard time just leaving it up to mystery and trusting God with it. So I know how you feel - you keep believing, keep fighting, despite the feelings.

For me I've read books and talked to people....I think a helpful thing for me was, I found a counselor online who is, a Christian, but, she also has been very accepting of my questions and admits that she doesn't have the answer, she just tries to help me process them in a healthy way. I have also talked to friends about it and, while most Christians tend towards a sort of "I'll-pray-for-you" attitude, some will just admit what they believe usually that God is MUCH bigger than what we can think, and that, there is probably more to this than what we realize. Most people I know believe that God gives everyone what they need to find Him.

Personally.....I guess I like to think that everyone has a choice: That they can choose God or reject God, and it's totally up to them. I am not entirely sure Hell is what we really think it is, but I would say it's some sort of separation from God. As one friend encouraged me, the only people there are who are supposed to be there. I try to trust that God is so much more good (gooder? lol) and bigger than we know.

But.....idk. Some days I get into a funk and get mad at God for leaving us in the dark about how He does this stuff but...maybe it's for our benefit?

Hang in there....if you still are, keep hanging in there. I am trying too!

 

[Bee22]

For me, hell is not a big issue. Their nature isn't going to change in hell. In fact, it will get worse because God's not holding back their evil. I think since we are made in God's image, our spirit is eternal.

I feel you on other problems. I just gotta tell myself, if I didn't have OCD this wouldn't be an issue.