Mari17
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- Jun 17, 2017
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The language you are using - "I might have," "half-heartedly," "I'm afraid," etc. - all sounds very much like OCD to me. Still, OCD never wants us to be sure, so it will always come up with arguments about why it isn't OCD. That's why with OCD, instead of trying to reason away our fears, we often have to pretend to agree with them. "Yes, maybe I did commit the unpardonable sin. But I'm still going to choose to live the rest of my life for God." Now, understand that does not mean I think you did commit the unpardonable sin. But with OCD, often reverse psychology like that is the most effective, because the more we try to argue against our obsessions, the stronger they become. Personally, I think you are over-analyzing the thought that you had - another thing those of us with OCD tend to do. But, think about it in this way - even if you think you did commit the unpardonable sin, what is your choice now? You can choose to live like you did commit it, or you can ask forgiveness for past sins and choose to move forward and follow God, trusting that He will have mercy on you. I would definitely learn more about treating OCD (using CBT/ERP therapy) and/or getting a therapist, if you haven't already. Here are a couple of good resources to start you off:Guys I don't think y'all understand. I don't think what happened was OCD. I think I willingly thought one of those thoughts half hazardedly. I know you can call me a moron. I agree with you. I've just always grown up with this idea of "eternal security" so I thought I was invincible. I thought the thought I'm afraid. Honestly I don't remember the exact thought. It could be something diffrent, but I'm afraid it was the unpardonable sin. I can't remember anything anymore and I'm only 17. What I'm saying is I don't think this thought was OCD related at all. I thought it not really meaning it. Just thinking it to think it. I didn't do it to slander God at all. That was not my intent. It was a dumb thought that I had, and instantly regretted and have regretted ever since.
ocdandchristianity.com/ (Check out the blog posts about the unpardonable sin!)
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