I have read so much about Christian divorce that I am so confused. I have studied the scriptures and know that divorce for my situation is a sin. But, I can't accept the fact that God wanted me to live in those situations. Abuse (physical, mental, verbal) Drug addiction etc. There is alot more details to my marriage but no need to mention. The bottom line is I left. I believe that I can be forgiven for my sin. I am young and want to live a Christian life. I feel that I am on the right path. But what if I wanted to remarry somewhere down my path and give my children the fullfillment of a happy Christian family. Do you think Christ is forgiving for these kind of sins? I know that is a question that know one can truly answer. I just need to believe there is life for me after divorce. Or is it better to raise my children alone and live a life of celebasy? I am just scared that if I can not move on with life that it would mean I question Christs forgiveness. Isn't that a key word in the New Testement? Forgiveness??
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Can I be forgiven?
- Thread starter lost72
- Start date
Can you be forgiven..of course...He has forgiven you. Does that mean because He forgave you, that you can remarry? That is something you need to pray about, be patient for the answer, and be willing to do His will. I do believe God can change people.Has your ex remarried? Do you think your ex could change in a miraculous way, and that God could restore your marriage? I have a wonderful Christian friend, male, who is really my best friend...and I am blessed to have him in my life. Maybe God has sent your Christian man into your life to be your good friend as well....more than anything...you need to ask for God's wisdom, take it day by day, and see where God leads you. If you are sincere, and want what God wants for you, then He will guide you, and where He takes you, you will have peace...and much blessing!! My prayers are with you!!lost72 said:
Upvote
0
fluffy_rainbow
I've Got a Secret ;-)
Only you can determine, through intense prayer and direction of the Holy Spirit, whether or not it would be best for you to remain a single and celibate mother. I'm sorry you had to endure such abuse. And of course you can be forgiven. Divorce and remarriage are sins because it goes against God's original design for marriage; however, it's a sin just the same as any other and can be forgiven.
*sigh* Desi, you never cease to put others down. I don't think she did what she did out of selfishness. There are children involved as well and she has to protect them and have their best interests at heart as well.desi said:
Upvote
0
Desi,desi said:
Do you really think I walked away to better myself?? What about when peoples lives are at stake. Sure he is abusive in the many ways I described. But was his pot dependency my problem to deal with also? What would happen to the kids if we were all in the car and he had something on him, or what about if something was found in the house. I pleaded with him to keep that stuff away from us. He was arrested once. Never learned his lesson, I just thank God I was not around him at that time. Why should I risk being arrested and have the kids taken away for not even touching the stuff? I dont think I walked away to better myself. Only to better my childrens futures which is my main concern. I don't even get child support. I dont ask for it.
Upvote
0
What would happen if you succeed with divorce? Have you even checked the research in this area? Is it not enough to go against the Bible? The politically correct thing to do is wrong according to both the Bible and the research in this area pertaining to its effect on children. Do what you will, but do so knowing what you do with open eyes.lost72 said:
Upvote
0
fluffy_rainbow
I've Got a Secret ;-)
Desi, you sure seem to have such an intense fixation on divorce. I gather from your posts that you are married and have a few children. So why are you on here day and night putting people down with your misinterpretations of the Scriptures? Shouldn't you be spending time with your wife and children instead of robbing others of their joy and causing strife even among brothers and sisters in Christ?
I don't see how a divorce has any less or more impact on children than seeing a father who abuses their mother. My mother had a difficult time forgiving my grandmother for staying with my grandfather as long as she did "for the sake of the children". Sometimes it is in the wife and children's best interests to walk away.
Upvote
0
I have dealt with this issue for a very long time before I took the plunge so to speak. I don't know it all but I have researched it for over 2 years. I just fall victim into wanting to believe all the loopholes I read about. I do have questions that I would love strong christian input on. I have left some posts regarding the so called loopholes I have found. I don't want to believe because they are just that loopholes, but I do want to find some resolution and truth to my life. I believe my right path was to leave my husband for many "good" reasons. Scriptural reasons? No, not according to the bible but ones that are for my health and for my children.
Upvote
0
LegacyOfLove
Senior Veteran
Dear Lost72,
I believe that what you have chosen to do IS the right thing. I believe that if you have done all that you can do...you have put your faith in God and put your children's health and well-being into high priority...that you have not sinned. Yes, I am a Christian. And yes, I do know that there are many who will hold to the letter of the law, so to speak with declaring what grounds a person has to divorce on.
Let me say though, that one of your highest commissions as a mother is to protect your children!! That is your God-given responsibility! You have done something that has ensured their safety, your peace of mind...and has freed your lives from the torment of someone who is living a lifestyle of sin and abusiveness. If you had not left, but continued to stay in that situation...think of the impact on your children! What would staying have solved? Until your husband makes his own choice and determines in his heart to turn from his sins and get himself right before God...what hope is there?
No matter what anyone tells you, please turn this over to God. Let Him speak to your heart. Seek His guidance and wisdom...that His will be done. In letting God guide you, you can rest and find the peace you need...and the answers too.
God bless you and your family.
I believe that what you have chosen to do IS the right thing. I believe that if you have done all that you can do...you have put your faith in God and put your children's health and well-being into high priority...that you have not sinned. Yes, I am a Christian. And yes, I do know that there are many who will hold to the letter of the law, so to speak with declaring what grounds a person has to divorce on.
Let me say though, that one of your highest commissions as a mother is to protect your children!! That is your God-given responsibility! You have done something that has ensured their safety, your peace of mind...and has freed your lives from the torment of someone who is living a lifestyle of sin and abusiveness. If you had not left, but continued to stay in that situation...think of the impact on your children! What would staying have solved? Until your husband makes his own choice and determines in his heart to turn from his sins and get himself right before God...what hope is there?
No matter what anyone tells you, please turn this over to God. Let Him speak to your heart. Seek His guidance and wisdom...that His will be done. In letting God guide you, you can rest and find the peace you need...and the answers too.
God bless you and your family.
Upvote
0
- Aug 3, 2004
- 14,082
- 1,003
- 84
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Widowed
I posted something on this topic a while ago. Here is a section of that post which is relevant to the topic
I believe we can. The destruction of a person, as occurs in an abusive relationship would qualify under what Jesus taught in John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. The destruction of another personality by an abusive partner and parent is the work of evil. Nowhere in Scripture are we told to submit ourselves to evil. Then, there are the children to consider.
Then, we must never forget children in any violent and abusive relationship. When you have counselled adults who had such childhood experiences you see what devastation those environments produce. Did Jesus really teach that children are to have their lives distorted by an insoluble marriage?
Then, if a relationship does not exhibit the loving, the intimacy (knowing) and the gentleness of mutual submission, is it a marriage at all? Has it become so unlike what God intended that it can no loner qualify as a God ordained marriage? God loves the world but he will separate Himself from unrepentant evil doers. Should we do less in a very unhealthy and destructive relationship? Separation happens because the marriage no longer exists, except as a legal entity. God divorced Israel as the nation had consistently failed to live up to the requirements of their relationship with him. Jesus never denied the hardness of heart referred to earlier as the reason for some marriages ending in divorce. He just challenged the assumption that we should accept human failure as a reason to undermine the divine intention for marriage, especially as the more liberal religious rules had done so.
John
NZ
I believe we can. The destruction of a person, as occurs in an abusive relationship would qualify under what Jesus taught in John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. The destruction of another personality by an abusive partner and parent is the work of evil. Nowhere in Scripture are we told to submit ourselves to evil. Then, there are the children to consider.
Then, we must never forget children in any violent and abusive relationship. When you have counselled adults who had such childhood experiences you see what devastation those environments produce. Did Jesus really teach that children are to have their lives distorted by an insoluble marriage?
Then, if a relationship does not exhibit the loving, the intimacy (knowing) and the gentleness of mutual submission, is it a marriage at all? Has it become so unlike what God intended that it can no loner qualify as a God ordained marriage? God loves the world but he will separate Himself from unrepentant evil doers. Should we do less in a very unhealthy and destructive relationship? Separation happens because the marriage no longer exists, except as a legal entity. God divorced Israel as the nation had consistently failed to live up to the requirements of their relationship with him. Jesus never denied the hardness of heart referred to earlier as the reason for some marriages ending in divorce. He just challenged the assumption that we should accept human failure as a reason to undermine the divine intention for marriage, especially as the more liberal religious rules had done so.
John
NZ
Upvote
0
Attention: Johnnz and Legacyoflove (and anyone else that could offer some wisdom) - I would love your input on this subject
I have yet another question. How can we be sure the "put away" and divorce mean the same thing. The greek word for put away is "apoulo" the greek word for divorce is "apostation" Could it be that translators misinterpreted the EXACT meaning of being sent away as oposed to Divorce. My understanding is that the word divorce was not used often and the men did not divorce their wives they only sent them away, thus causing them to commit adultery. It was because of the hardness of their hearts that they did this. They wanted to send the away put them on the back burner and come back to them at a later time. God did not like this, and wanted men to not be allowed to do this to their wives. So if the man did do this and he committed adultery, than the wife was free from the bond and did not need to seek divorce, she was free to remarry. If you replace the word divorce in the New Testement with the greek word apoulo, you may be able to understand my question. This is not necessarily what I believe in, but after doing my research I have yet to find anyone to really scripturally show me it wrong.
This is from one of the many websites I looked into. I have another thread called does put away and divorce mean the same. If anyone is interested at checking out. There is a couple more websites in there also.
In addition, the two terms "divorce" and "sends her out" (also translated as "put away" and "send away") should also be considered. It is extremely important to understand that nowhere in the Scriptures are these two terms used interchangeably. The Hebrew word for "divorce" in Deuteronomy 24:1 is found in only two other locations: Isaiah 50:1, describing Yahweh's future divorce of the House of Judah, and Jeremiah 3:8, regarding Yahweh's previous divorce of the House of Israel.
Deuteronomy 24, Isaiah 50 and Jeremiah 3 are the only three instances where the Hebrew word for "divorce" can be found in the Old Testament. That is right; this is not the word used in Malachi 2:16 as would be expected if God were saying that He hated divorce in that passage. The Hebrew word translated "divorce" is a very specific term, and in all three instances it is used in conjunction with the term "bill," "writ," or "certificate." On the other hand the Hebrew word translated "sent out" or "put away" is a very common term and is used nearly a thousand times in the Old Testament.
In other words, the treachery committed by these men was not in divorcing their wives, but rather in that they were putting their wives away without a certificate of divorce. In their vindictiveness, they were putting their wives in a horrible no win predicament. If the wives had "remarried" or had attached themselves to another man, they would have been subject to stoning for adultery since without a certificate of divorce they were still lawfully married to their first husband. If they would not commit adultery then these women were left to fend for themselves which was nearly impossible under the conditions of that time. This is quoted from the site.
http://www.missiontoisrael.org/m-d-remar.html
I have yet another question. How can we be sure the "put away" and divorce mean the same thing. The greek word for put away is "apoulo" the greek word for divorce is "apostation" Could it be that translators misinterpreted the EXACT meaning of being sent away as oposed to Divorce. My understanding is that the word divorce was not used often and the men did not divorce their wives they only sent them away, thus causing them to commit adultery. It was because of the hardness of their hearts that they did this. They wanted to send the away put them on the back burner and come back to them at a later time. God did not like this, and wanted men to not be allowed to do this to their wives. So if the man did do this and he committed adultery, than the wife was free from the bond and did not need to seek divorce, she was free to remarry. If you replace the word divorce in the New Testement with the greek word apoulo, you may be able to understand my question. This is not necessarily what I believe in, but after doing my research I have yet to find anyone to really scripturally show me it wrong.
This is from one of the many websites I looked into. I have another thread called does put away and divorce mean the same. If anyone is interested at checking out. There is a couple more websites in there also.
In addition, the two terms "divorce" and "sends her out" (also translated as "put away" and "send away") should also be considered. It is extremely important to understand that nowhere in the Scriptures are these two terms used interchangeably. The Hebrew word for "divorce" in Deuteronomy 24:1 is found in only two other locations: Isaiah 50:1, describing Yahweh's future divorce of the House of Judah, and Jeremiah 3:8, regarding Yahweh's previous divorce of the House of Israel.
Deuteronomy 24, Isaiah 50 and Jeremiah 3 are the only three instances where the Hebrew word for "divorce" can be found in the Old Testament. That is right; this is not the word used in Malachi 2:16 as would be expected if God were saying that He hated divorce in that passage. The Hebrew word translated "divorce" is a very specific term, and in all three instances it is used in conjunction with the term "bill," "writ," or "certificate." On the other hand the Hebrew word translated "sent out" or "put away" is a very common term and is used nearly a thousand times in the Old Testament.
In other words, the treachery committed by these men was not in divorcing their wives, but rather in that they were putting their wives away without a certificate of divorce. In their vindictiveness, they were putting their wives in a horrible no win predicament. If the wives had "remarried" or had attached themselves to another man, they would have been subject to stoning for adultery since without a certificate of divorce they were still lawfully married to their first husband. If they would not commit adultery then these women were left to fend for themselves which was nearly impossible under the conditions of that time. This is quoted from the site.
http://www.missiontoisrael.org/m-d-remar.html
Upvote
0
Jennifer615
Senior Member
I really feel for you lost. I know exactly what you are going through.
If you have repented for your part in the divorce, I believe that you are already forgiven. I believe that God can bless a Godly remarriage.
I can relate to you. It me, being condemned to a life of being single would be the ultimate curse. I was born to be a wife and mother. Unfortunately I married the wrong man the first time around.
I am now remarried to a wonderful man, and he is a better father to my daughter than my ex was, and we also have a son together and are planning another child. I have never looked back.
Just seek God and let Him bring the right person along.
And desi, I've said this before, you need to get some good Christian counselling and learn about God's grace. You have a fixation on divorce and are paranoid about it because of your past. Stop condemning everyone here!!!!! You are not showing the loving attitude of Christ!
If you have repented for your part in the divorce, I believe that you are already forgiven. I believe that God can bless a Godly remarriage.
I can relate to you. It me, being condemned to a life of being single would be the ultimate curse. I was born to be a wife and mother. Unfortunately I married the wrong man the first time around.
I am now remarried to a wonderful man, and he is a better father to my daughter than my ex was, and we also have a son together and are planning another child. I have never looked back.
Just seek God and let Him bring the right person along.
And desi, I've said this before, you need to get some good Christian counselling and learn about God's grace. You have a fixation on divorce and are paranoid about it because of your past. Stop condemning everyone here!!!!! You are not showing the loving attitude of Christ!
Upvote
0
LegacyOfLove
Senior Veteran
hmmmm...I read your post and I have to say that I have never heard this comparison before. I wonder (if I may)....is what you are really asking or seeking to find out...if God will forgive you for leaving under your circumstances...and if He will permit you to marry again one day?
I may not be the right person to ask...if that is what you are really seeking answers to. I apologize, but my views are not solely biblically based. I do know the scriptures and what are allowable reasons for divorce. I was married...divorced...and since married someone else (who was never married before). Yes, my ex-husband had cheated on me (several times over)...so I knew that wasn't an issue as to whether I was still "bound to him" in God's eyes..for the breaking of the oneness had been done repeatedly!
In your situation, I still stand by believing that you have every right to leave your marriage and put your childrens' and your own health and well-being back on track. I do not feel that I am in any position to say what God's view is of you ever remarrying. I personally, (my opinion, not biblically founded), is that you have the right to leave, because your husband is not treating you as Christ treats His "bride" (the church) by loving her and putting her needs in top priority...nor is he (your husband) doing right by the children that God blessed both of you with! In my opinion, how can God hold it against you for leaving in your situation? And if God loves us so much and wants us to experience love and marriage in the way that HE intended...who am I to say that He wouldn't allow you to marry again in the future?
I still think that is best left between you and God. Seek His wisdom on it. And as far as the theological/biblical questions go (in wanting to understand divorce vs. putting one's wife away): maybe a pastor...or at least someone who's more scholarly can advise you there.
I am sorry if that wasn't very helpful!
~God Bless You~
I may not be the right person to ask...if that is what you are really seeking answers to. I apologize, but my views are not solely biblically based. I do know the scriptures and what are allowable reasons for divorce. I was married...divorced...and since married someone else (who was never married before). Yes, my ex-husband had cheated on me (several times over)...so I knew that wasn't an issue as to whether I was still "bound to him" in God's eyes..for the breaking of the oneness had been done repeatedly!
In your situation, I still stand by believing that you have every right to leave your marriage and put your childrens' and your own health and well-being back on track. I do not feel that I am in any position to say what God's view is of you ever remarrying. I personally, (my opinion, not biblically founded), is that you have the right to leave, because your husband is not treating you as Christ treats His "bride" (the church) by loving her and putting her needs in top priority...nor is he (your husband) doing right by the children that God blessed both of you with! In my opinion, how can God hold it against you for leaving in your situation? And if God loves us so much and wants us to experience love and marriage in the way that HE intended...who am I to say that He wouldn't allow you to marry again in the future?
I still think that is best left between you and God. Seek His wisdom on it. And as far as the theological/biblical questions go (in wanting to understand divorce vs. putting one's wife away): maybe a pastor...or at least someone who's more scholarly can advise you there.
I am sorry if that wasn't very helpful!
~God Bless You~
Upvote
0
- Aug 3, 2004
- 14,082
- 1,003
- 84
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Widowed
Lost72
Thanks for your post and the interesting information you gave. I have not come across this line of thought before, although, through some Jewish Christians I am coming to see how little we have drawn on the very Jewish component of our Christian heritage.
I am quite busy at present, but I will look up that source and get back to you.
John
NZ
Thanks for your post and the interesting information you gave. I have not come across this line of thought before, although, through some Jewish Christians I am coming to see how little we have drawn on the very Jewish component of our Christian heritage.
I am quite busy at present, but I will look up that source and get back to you.
John
NZ
Upvote
0
Similar threads
