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sorry i missed this when i posted earlier
if you have any questions about the faith my PM box is always open No worries. I don't think anyone ever feels right about approaching God when they first acknowledge their problem. It's not an easy thing to undergo, but it does get better over time. It's entirely not about how we feel, it's about understanding that God's Grace is given freely to those who come before Him. He's taken upon Himself the task of forgiving sinners for their sins. That's an awesome and even an offensive task, but it's a wonderful thing for sinners like me, and like you.
Welcome to the family!
I hope to see you around the forums.
It is never too late. God bless you and may you be richly blessed in everything.
The angels rejoice at this and the smile on our Lords face. You can only imagine. 
In your last sentence you have answered your own title question as to whether there is hope for you or not. The very fact that you "want to turn your (my) life around..." is evidence that you are not utterly abandoned of God's Holy Spirit since a change of heart has always been attributed to His Divine influence and is an imparted gift to fallen humanity. You suspect that, possibly, others who have not been so excessive in their past sins are well within the reach of God's mercy while you, a confessedly excessive sinner, just might have sinned yourself beyond that hope of mercy which hope less sinful sinners still have but you donot. Nope. The truth is that both the unchurched world and the professing Christian Church are bulging with respectable living but self-justified, impenitant, lost souls who haven't any desire at all for personal repentance because they don't see any need for it, but you do!! The old prospector's addage was, "Gold is where you find it!" and repentance is just like that gold....You find it wherever it turns up and sometimes it appears in very unlikely spots while evading other places that you would have naturally predicted that it would be. If you are willing to repent and get God's help, don't worry about whether you are beyond His mercy...You aren't. If He will allow you a heart that is willing to abandon what is wrong for what is right, He will also allow you full citizenship in His eternal Kingdom, but upon His terms. This Kingdom's benefits are dizzying to contemplate and far, far outweigh the temporary pleasures that sin has given you in the past. You can become a son of the Father, a member of the Bride of the Son, and a temple of the Holy Spirit but it all starts with repentance. If God has allowed you the small glowing coal of willingness to change for the better, blow and blow upon that coal. Protect it at all costs and nuture it up until it becomes a consuming fire that will purge your life from evil work and carry you onward and then upward into the blissful realms of glory.
