Can anyone help?

[Jo1]

hi everyone i have been suffering from depression all my life generally. I would say im suffering from major depression. As i have low self esteem feelings of worthliness etc. Recently the last month has been particularly bad. I have been having suicidal, self-destructive thoughts and getting bouts of being very low. Ive been so tired of life and just wanted to go to hospital for a rest!
Im quite concerned at the moment I know i need to go doctors but im anxious about going on anti-depressants again. I used them for the first time probably quite a few years ago and did find some that suited me.
Then when i felt better came off them. Im not sure what type they are.
Anyway a period of time later i was getting depressed again and people advised me to go doctors and go back on anti-depressants. Now i decided to go back to the same ones cos i thought they were fine. In my heart though i was unsure about going back to them, was i doing what people wanted(i know they were concerned for me). anyway i must have had a higher dose of the same medicine because i reacted really bad with them, i had only just started taking them! I woke up one night and thought i was going to die it was awful.
Anyway i know that i should go back to doctors again but dont know what to do about taking them again. I need something. I really like the idea of St, Johns Wort its natural health alternative. No side-effects.But heard bad reports of them.. can anyone give me any advise or help. and please pray for me that if i do go on them again i will find suitable ones, cos part of me thinks i will just cope without them and set my mind on that. Hate the idea of the side effects. thanks for listening sorry the post is so long.

 

[Everlasting33]

hi everyone i have been suffering from depression all my life generally. I would say im suffering from major depression. As i have low self esteem feelings of worthliness etc. Recently the last month has been particularly bad. I have been having suicidal, self-destructive thoughts and getting bouts of being very low. Ive been so tired of life and just wanted to go to hospital for a rest!
Im quite concerned at the moment I know i need to go doctors but im anxious about going on anti-depressants again. I used them for the first time probably quite a few years ago and did find some that suited me.
Then when i felt better came off them. Im not sure what type they are.
Anyway a period of time later i was getting depressed again and people advised me to go doctors and go back on anti-depressants. Now i decided to go back to the same ones cos i thought they were fine. In my heart though i was unsure about going back to them, was i doing what people wanted(i know they were concerned for me). anyway i must have had a higher dose of the same medicine because i reacted really bad with them, i had only just started taking them! I woke up one night and thought i was going to die it was awful.
Anyway i know that i should go back to doctors again but dont know what to do about taking them again. I need something. I really like the idea of St, Johns Wort its natural health alternative. No side-effects.But heard bad reports of them.. can anyone give me any advise or help. and please pray for me that if i do go on them again i will find suitable ones, cos part of me thinks i will just cope without them and set my mind on that. Hate the idea of the side effects. thanks for listening sorry the post is so long.

Hello!

It sounds like you have been going through a lot of pain, frustration, fear, and helplessness! I just wanted you to know that I can empathize with you and that I care that you are in pain!

I have also struggled with depression and low self-esteem. I was put on several medications when I was a teenager and I have also seen many therapists. But my depression never got better and it felt like I carried it everywhere I went. Finally, about a year ago I realized that my self-esteem issues were creating depression, not the other way around. I am sure this is not true for everyone but probably more so than you think!

But it sounds like medications have helped you. Have you tried exercise? St. John's Wort is a good option (better for mild to moderate depression) and here is a list of other remedies that I found via the net:

http://altmedicine.about.com/od/healthconditionsatod/a/Depression1.htm

Basically, most people are going to experience side effects with antidepressants and I realize this is the number one turnoff with that sort of drug.

Have you tried cognitive therapy? A lot of the negative feelings and thoughts that we are experiencing really comes from our faulty self-belief system and talk. I would HIGHLY recommend that you buy the book, "The Power of Self-Coaching" by Joseph Luciani. This book talks about worry, insecurity, automatic negative thoughts, wanting control, and learning to trust yourself.
***

In my experience of struggling with depression/anxiety/self-esteem and my knowledge of psychology, I have realized one of the best self-soothers is self-love and empathy.

One of the best definitions of love comes from the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy and it does not boast..Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "

That tells me that I am to be patient with my shortcomings, bad days and destructive habits. It tells me that I need to rejoice in the truth of who I am and reject all insecurity. But most of all it tells me that I have the ability to trust, hope and persevere because I am a worthwhile and precious human being that has great potential to live joyfully and peacefully.

To accept means to "to take or receive willingly." To accept myself really means to WANT to receive both the strengths and weaknesses that make up me. It does not mean to deny, put down, or ignore but to truthfully and wholly acknowledge and receive each aspect of myself. This can be hard because if we see a part of ourselves that we do not like, we wish to disregard or punish it. Acceptance does take time and that is something I am working on."

Realize that you are fighting a tough and exhausting battle! Be patient, kind and gentle with yourself. Realize your weaknesses and your vulnerabilities but not reject or hate them. Instead, become more understanding and less critical.

I hope this helps a little!

 

[Starr71]

Hi Jo,

Hi hon. I to suffer from depression and I do take med's to help me with depression.

I don't go on and off them, I have a chemecial inbalance, so take them daily, even when I am feeling good.

Pray about it. I believe I couldn't cope with day to day stuff with out my meds.

I find life is tough to a person with good health, we have challenges, But Good will heal us. I will continue to pray for you, I love you girl. And Don't think you are alone.

Satan wants you to believe that. DOn't buy into his Lies.

Trust GOD, keep in the word.

 

[Jo1]

Thanks very much the most hardest thing im finding is accepting that God loves me just as i am.
through all this. apreciate so much your help and prayers God bless.

 

[grace4mama]

Jo, you can't always trust your feelings, or your thoughts, which are often distorted and can make us more depressed. Trust the Word of God that says you are loved deeply and unconditionally, forever, by a powerful and trustworthy God. "It's your mood that changes, not your life" is a quote I keep nearby to help me keep perspective. It could say, "It's your mood that changes, not your GOD!"
As far as meds, I am a firm believer that they are helpful and I take an antidepressant every day. If you can remember or get records of what you took (and the dosages) that worked in the past, that is helpful. You should see a doctor that speciallizes in mental illness (ie, a psychiatrist) as general docs are not always well-informed about depression meds. Let the doctor know your past reaction and how important it is to start slow with dosing. Many people take these meds with minimal (and manageable) side effects.
Hope that you get some help soon, and that you can feel better quickly. Take care!

 

[Jo1]

Hi everyone since writing this post i have a few doubts really on going back to anti-depressants. The one thing i want to make sure of this time is to hear God directly that he wants me to go and also my husband is in agreement with me that going to doctors and declaring that im depressed opens the door for the enemy. maybe getting advise and talking to a christian doctor might be helful for eg..

 

[zaksmummy]

Jo would you go to the doctors is you have something like diabetes?

Of course you would, you wouldnt automatically think that Satan was getting at you.

Depression is partly a chemical imbalance. This imbalance needs correcting. There are plenty of medications that you doctor can give you from different families of drugs, if you tried a few from the same family and they didnt work last time, then your doctor will probably try you on another sort.

If your depression have partly been caused by having a difficult upbringing, the as someone else suggested cognitive therapy will help, but you would find it more difficult to do this type of work when you feeling low. Anti depressants will help to get your mood up to give you the concentration and ability to cope with therapy.

Dont get me wrong I'm not saying that Satan wont have a go at you and use what thoughts you have about yourself against you, just that you have an illness, it is physical, and it needs treating.

Catrin xx

 

[Noelani]

Greetings,

I have great compassion, as I suffer from depression also. I think that by going to the doctors to seek help with your depression is in essence exposing the enemy by your willingness to seek help for your depression. God is a healer...yet He heals in many ways (medicine, herbs, etc.)

Blessings

 

[Secretsibling]

I take antidepressents because I have a chemical imbalance and can't do without them. I believe God led me to the antidepressants. I was so depressed for many many years. I turned to drinking back in those days and it only made me worse. I will pray for you. Best of luck to you.

 

[Jo1]

Thanks for your posts everyone.
I started a course of natural anti-depressants,
though i didnt go and see doctors in end.
im trying to push back the feelings, yeah ive been suicidal. woke up feeling real low early this morning. im wondering when this will all end..
i had a good day yesterday, prob my best for a month now today im down as anyhing. my brain feels scrambled, cant concentrate. im worn out with it all. and i cant cry. Just at rock bottom again.
Just HATE life.

 

[Jenafer]

Why don't you take a low dose of the pills that helped you before.. meanwhile get some exercise.. brisk walking and mind your diet.

Join a middle of the road diet or health group.. whatever helps and keeps you healthy.. gives you a better quality of life.

 

[Jo1]

I went to see my doctors today. I had to fill in some sort of questionairre on computer. Which diagonosed me as having moderate depression which i completly disagreed with! As i know i had been much worse than that. Im going to see a counseller her name is Pam referral from doctors. Apreciate any prayers thanks.

 

[Jo1]

Just did a depression questionairre online and this best describes me.

(36-53, Moderate-Severe Depression)
You appear to be suffering from moderate to severe depressive symptoms commonly associated with serious depressive disorders, such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder or dysthymia. These symptoms appear to be causing you some serious impairment and distress in your normal, everyday functioning. You would likely benefit from the immediate attention of your physician or a trained mental health professional for further evaluation and a more accurate diagnosis and treatment.

 

[Jo1]

well so much in tryin to get help. Its going to take 3 months to see a counseller. then i only get up to 6 sessions. Im so low and disheartned.. really in bad state today..