my girlfriend left me because she couldnt be in a relationship with me due to the rules or something like that, she continued to ask how i could love her if i didnt love god. please help explain these to me
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
can a cristian be in a relationship with a non-beliver?
- Thread starter troy4you
- Start date
One can be in a relationship with anyone, but a real "born again" believer should only be going steady or marrying another "child of God". The non-believer has different values and life style, etc. All non-believers should get saved before it is too late.
Upvote
0
Masihi
love based faith is truer than fear based faith
Im assuming shes Christian.
I question whether she left you due to her religious conviction, you may need to look at other possibilities for the breakup.
If she was truthful with you, I could understand her position. Scriptually, we read "return to your first love", referring to Gd being that first love. Jesus tells us that we are to Love Gd with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Essentially Gd is first, the husband second, the kids third.
As a man, I can find any woman and convert her to Christianity if her desire was to be with me. Im not saying its easy nor am I trying to belittle women, I am confessing a personal experience.
For a woman, its nearly impossible for her to convert a man to Christianity. I know women who are still trying.
A Christian woman that truly walks with Christ should be extremely picky. She will want a man with the same Christian faith to govern the family and raise the kids in a Christian home. I only know a few women like this and they are a rarity. She should be able to discvoer quickly if a man is devoted to Christ by his speech. I can tell if someone is right with Gd by asking a few quick questions.
Upvote
0
grasping the after wind
That's grasping after the wind
- Jan 18, 2010
- 19,458
- 6,355
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
It is fairly simple. If one wants a serious relationship, not just a friendship or an acquaintance but a life partner, one doesn't choose a person with a completely opposite POV, that would be self destructive. A staunch capitalist and a staunch communist will eventually break up over ideological differences the same holds for a staunch deist and a staunch atheists. How can any relationship survive when one person is pulling in one direction while the other is pulling in the opposite direction?
Upvote
0
orangeness365
Well-Known Member
2 Corinthians 6:14
English Standard Version
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
English Standard Version
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Upvote
0
Soyeong
Well-Known Member
- Mar 10, 2015
- 12,657
- 4,680
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Messianic
- Marital Status
- Single
Have you done your best to try to evaluate the evidence for and against Christianity as objectively as you can? If not, I would tell her that you are willing to investigate the matter and ask her to hold on until you've come to a conclusion. There are many books on the matter, but I recommend that you start with Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis, which is free online:
https://www.dacc.edu/assets/pdfs/PCM/merechristianitylewis.pdf
Upvote
0
- Feb 9, 2014
- 24,510
- 10,546
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Private
Can they? Yes. Should they? No.
Faith should be the cornerstone of every Christian's relationship and if either party loves the other more than they love God, there's a problem.
Faith should be the cornerstone of every Christian's relationship and if either party loves the other more than they love God, there's a problem.
Upvote
0
ViaCrucis
Confessional Lutheran
- Oct 2, 2011
- 39,634
- 29,227
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Others
Some Christians and churches misinterpret St. Paul in 2 Corinthians ch. 6 as talking about romantic relationships. I say misinterpretation for two reasons:
1) Romantic relationships aren't mentioned anywhere in the text.
2) The modern idea of romantic relationships, including dating, simply didn't exist two thousand years ago so it'd have been difficult for St. Paul to talk about something that didn't exist then.
Modern romantic relationships are the result of modernity and cultural changes wherein individuals are believed to have the right to pursue their own partner rather than have it arranged for them by their family.
As such many Christians and a number of churches teach that Christians shouldn't be romantically involved with non-Christians. In some cases they teach that their members shouldn't be romantically involved with those outside of their tradition or at least make arguments on who is and isn't a real Christian. Example: I was raised in a church environment that didn't consider Roman Catholics (or Lutherans or Episcopalians) to be Christian and thus dating a Roman Catholic would have been as "bad" as dating an Atheist or a Wiccan.
This is an example of, as far as I'm concerned, Moralism--the invention of moral rules which God has never commanded in order to create a false sense of piety. As such falling in the same category as "don't smoke" or "don't drink alcohol" or "don't dance" or "women can't wear pants" or "don't gamble". Such things are part of a modern moralistic rule-making but have no basis in biblical teaching or in God's commandments.
To be certain there are practical reasons why romantic relationships may not be wise. For example I'm a Lutheran, if I were to be romantically involved with a Baptist to the point where we were considering marriage, this brings some major practical issues that need considering:
1) What church do we attend as a family? Lutheran or Baptist or both? I don't see how, as a Lutheran, I could in good conscience be part of or regularly attend a church which does not conform to matters I regard as essential to Christian faith.
2) Children. This is the big one. I'm a Lutheran, naturally I would want my children to be baptized because I consider Baptism a gracious gift from God by which He grants new birth and saving faith to an individual--including infants and small children. My hypothetical Baptist wife, probably is going to disagree.
3) Following up on point two, the fact that I as a Lutheran and my wife as a Baptist are going to have such diametrically different theological points of view, how is this going to work itself out in raising the children?
So while both Lutherans and Baptists are both very clearly Christian and thus wouldn't fit into the misuse of 2 Corinthians 6 "unequally yolked" I mentioned, it is certainly a major issue of consideration.
It's not that it couldn't work or that we shouldn't try to make it work; it's just understanding that these are serious issues that are going to come up. So from a purely practical point of view, being with someone who shares your basic view of faith, religion, and the world at large is certainly a much more fluid experience than otherwise (with relationships already being incredibly bumpy and rough affairs to begin with without such considerations).
-CryptoLutheran
1) Romantic relationships aren't mentioned anywhere in the text.
2) The modern idea of romantic relationships, including dating, simply didn't exist two thousand years ago so it'd have been difficult for St. Paul to talk about something that didn't exist then.
Modern romantic relationships are the result of modernity and cultural changes wherein individuals are believed to have the right to pursue their own partner rather than have it arranged for them by their family.
As such many Christians and a number of churches teach that Christians shouldn't be romantically involved with non-Christians. In some cases they teach that their members shouldn't be romantically involved with those outside of their tradition or at least make arguments on who is and isn't a real Christian. Example: I was raised in a church environment that didn't consider Roman Catholics (or Lutherans or Episcopalians) to be Christian and thus dating a Roman Catholic would have been as "bad" as dating an Atheist or a Wiccan.
This is an example of, as far as I'm concerned, Moralism--the invention of moral rules which God has never commanded in order to create a false sense of piety. As such falling in the same category as "don't smoke" or "don't drink alcohol" or "don't dance" or "women can't wear pants" or "don't gamble". Such things are part of a modern moralistic rule-making but have no basis in biblical teaching or in God's commandments.
To be certain there are practical reasons why romantic relationships may not be wise. For example I'm a Lutheran, if I were to be romantically involved with a Baptist to the point where we were considering marriage, this brings some major practical issues that need considering:
1) What church do we attend as a family? Lutheran or Baptist or both? I don't see how, as a Lutheran, I could in good conscience be part of or regularly attend a church which does not conform to matters I regard as essential to Christian faith.
2) Children. This is the big one. I'm a Lutheran, naturally I would want my children to be baptized because I consider Baptism a gracious gift from God by which He grants new birth and saving faith to an individual--including infants and small children. My hypothetical Baptist wife, probably is going to disagree.
3) Following up on point two, the fact that I as a Lutheran and my wife as a Baptist are going to have such diametrically different theological points of view, how is this going to work itself out in raising the children?
So while both Lutherans and Baptists are both very clearly Christian and thus wouldn't fit into the misuse of 2 Corinthians 6 "unequally yolked" I mentioned, it is certainly a major issue of consideration.
It's not that it couldn't work or that we shouldn't try to make it work; it's just understanding that these are serious issues that are going to come up. So from a purely practical point of view, being with someone who shares your basic view of faith, religion, and the world at large is certainly a much more fluid experience than otherwise (with relationships already being incredibly bumpy and rough affairs to begin with without such considerations).
-CryptoLutheran
Upvote
0
- Oct 28, 2006
- 24,841
- 11,623
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
Hello Troy,
Your situation is unfortunate, and I'm sorry to hear that your relationship has been disrupted by what might seem to be some kind of religious triviality. The truth is, though, that the bible does highly recommend to Christians that they not involve themselves intimately with unbelievers. Why? Well, it's mainly because Christians are merely human too, and if they inadvertently expose themselves to emotional, cognitive, and social challenges to their convictions, such as that which may come by way of an atheistic boyfriend, then these challenges will tend to pull the Christan away from Jesus Christ and His Lordship.
Admittedly, your girlfriend made the mistake of involving herself with you in the first place since you're not a Christian (as yet). She shouldn't have done that, but I surmise she did so because you have some traits which she found attractive. Needless to say, what's done is done. So, now, you have a choice to make, Troy.
If I can be of any assistance in helping you understand various aspects of Christian faith, please let me know.
Peace
2PhiloVoid
Last edited:
Upvote
0
football5680
Well-Known Member
- Feb 6, 2013
- 4,138
- 1,517
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Catholic
- Marital Status
- Single
They can but they shouldn't. The New Testament allows it but the context was when Christianity was first starting out and pretty much everybody was a convert. If somebody was married to a Non-Christian and then converted to Christianity, the Bible says that they should not automatically leave them because of this. If somebody is a Christian and is unmarried then they should only look to Marry another Christian.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
She should have never been involved with you in the first place so this situation should have never occurred.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
She should have never been involved with you in the first place so this situation should have never occurred.
Upvote
0
SoldierOfTheKing
Christian Spenglerian
- Jan 6, 2006
- 9,243
- 3,050
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Presbyterian
- Marital Status
- Married
Why do you think that this verse doesn't apply just because both parties are Christian?
Wouldn't it be a better idea to instead marry someone with whom these issues are not likely to come up? How much more serious the issues would be with marrying a non-Christian? In such a case, might it be better not to marry at all?
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 25:24
Upvote
0
ViaCrucis
Confessional Lutheran
- Oct 2, 2011
- 39,634
- 29,227
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Others
Because the passage in question specifically says: "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers."
Two Christians, even Christians from very different theological backgrounds, are still believers. So I don't see how it could apply in such a case.
The question we ought to be asking is what does the Apostle mean when he talks about being unequally yoked. Nothing in the text suggest romantic relationships of any kind--which is the main point of my previous post. A proper exegesis of this text should, therefore, understand these statements within the larger context of what the Apostle is talking about in this letter to the Corinthian church.
Given what we know about the problems in Corinth, specifically that the Corinthians' had a bad habit of going back to their former ways as pagans. See for example 1 Corinthians 10 where St. Paul is critical of their receiving foods sacrificed to idols (though temper this with what he says in 1 Corinthians 8 about the liberty of conscience). It should come as no surprise that, even still here in this second letter (or, actually, probably his third as 1 Corinthians seems to have been the second he wrote to them) they are struggling with these things. This passage should, therefore, be comprehended in that light. We are clearly not talking about ordinary interpersonal relationships (including romantic ones) but associations that are resulting in turning away from faith, or otherwise causing extreme forms of wickedness (such as a man engaging in a sexual relationship with his own [step]mother).
-CryptoLutheran
Upvote
0
God's plan has always been for His children to follow in the ways of His Son. Why would not God give the Bible as His Word and then desire a believer to marry a non-believer?
You can make it out to be some really HUGE thing to hold against Christians, if you like, but it's not meant to exclude, but to include and conjoin believers with other believers.
I'm sure that you have read the sections of the Bible that talk about this? Right? And it doesn't make sense? Right? Because Christians and God are against non-Christians? Right?
Way to really break down your opinion based on facts and actual verses of the Bible. Makes for a much better conversation.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
