Came back to Christ (from passivity)

[eNathans]

Hellllo brothers and sisters in Christ,

Well I just wanted to say that I've recently went through a lot. I have anxiety panick attacks and depression. Last week was the worst week of my life where I could hardly bare it. I get chest pains and what seems to be heart pains and it spirals me into an endless fear of death that causes constant fear and anxiety, particularly at night. I went to the doctor and they said I'm fine and the pains must be benign because my EKG is normal, but I still get them sometimes. The fear and depression made me realize my futility as a human. I had to iron out a lot of what was going on and I came to the conclusion that the misery I was experiencing was due to the absence of God in my life. I had not rejected God, I just became incresingly passive towards Him which is also a type of rejection. I just got done reading My Descent into Death by Howard Storm, it's been a good read. My brother has had the book for years but has always told me to wait until I feel God wants me to read it, and I felt this was the time. I've prayed to God to guide me and help build my faith slowly, and to discover His plan for me daily, yearly and for my life. Also I'm having faith that God will lead me to a good church or ministry. I'd prefer one that I feel comfortable in, that's less of a Christian 'rock concert' type, and that's not materialistic. Hell, it doesn't even need a physical building.. just as long as there's fellowship and the Spirit in there. I've been needing a ministry or church for years and have been believing for one, I guess I'm just waiting.

There's a few things I need help with though. I need to be filled with the love of God and receive God's spirit. I want to surrender myself completly, and I now understand (compared to when I was younger) that this doesn't mean taking away your happyness in life, you can be happy following God's will as long as there's no sin in your life. I just don't know what that will is. But before I can reach out to other people about God's life I need some spiritual healing myself. I also still have fear, usually when I start getting pains (even though the doctor claims that I'm okay), it's not nerely as severe now that I've turned to God. Maybe just 3% of what it was, but it's still bothersom. I try to believe that God's with me and that He'll protect me, because I have a long road ahead of me to live through in order to complete God's plan for me. But my other problem is that my girlfriend (who I believe God has led me to) doesn't seem to want to ever try to grow with me spiritually. She doesn't want to turn to God for some reason, she always says she's not "ready" or she doesn't want to do it because she has to many other problems to deal with. She does believe in God's existance though. She didn't have spiritual parents so she's really lost when it comes to these things. I'm not exactly sure what is going through her mind, but I don't know how to help her anymore with words. I guess all I can do is pray.

Well that was along post.. I hope I didn't cause too many people to click the back button before the second paragraph. Some prayers would be nice.. I'll keep praying too. I believe God will see me through my problems and I'll come out in victory, I just need to keep believing and praying for the answers to come.

 

[Wade Smith]

Hellllo brothers and sisters in Christ,

Well I just wanted to say that I've recently went through a lot. I have anxiety panick attacks and depression. Last week was the worst week of my life where I could hardly bare it. I get chest pains and what seems to be heart pains and it spirals me into an endless fear of death that causes constant fear and anxiety, particularly at night. I went to the doctor and they said I'm fine and the pains must be benign because my EKG is normal, but I still get them sometimes. The fear and depression made me realize my futility as a human. I had to iron out a lot of what was going on and I came to the conclusion that the misery I was experiencing was due to the absence of God in my life. I had not rejected God, I just became incresingly passive towards Him which is also a type of rejection. I just got done reading My Descent into Death by Howard Storm, it's been a good read. My brother has had the book for years but has always told me to wait until I feel God wants me to read it, and I felt this was the time. I've prayed to God to guide me and help build my faith slowly, and to discover His plan for me daily, yearly and for my life. Also I'm having faith that God will lead me to a good church or ministry. I'd prefer one that I feel comfortable in, that's less of a Christian 'rock concert' type, and that's not materialistic. Hell, it doesn't even need a physical building.. just as long as there's fellowship and the Spirit in there. I've been needing a ministry or church for years and have been believing for one, I guess I'm just waiting.

There's a few things I need help with though. I need to be filled with the love of God and receive God's spirit. I want to surrender myself completly, and I now understand (compared to when I was younger) that this doesn't mean taking away your happyness in life, you can be happy following God's will as long as there's no sin in your life. I just don't know what that will is. But before I can reach out to other people about God's life I need some spiritual healing myself. I also still have fear, usually when I start getting pains (even though the doctor claims that I'm okay), it's not nerely as severe now that I've turned to God. Maybe just 3% of what it was, but it's still bothersom. I try to believe that God's with me and that He'll protect me, because I have a long road ahead of me to live through in order to complete God's plan for me. But my other problem is that my girlfriend (who I believe God has led me to) doesn't seem to want to ever try to grow with me spiritually. She doesn't want to turn to God for some reason, she always says she's not "ready" or she doesn't want to do it because she has to many other problems to deal with. She does believe in God's existance though. She didn't have spiritual parents so she's really lost when it comes to these things. I'm not exactly sure what is going through her mind, but I don't know how to help her anymore with words. I guess all I can do is pray.

Well that was along post.. I hope I didn't cause too many people to click the back button before the second paragraph. Some prayers would be nice.. I'll keep praying too. I believe God will see me through my problems and I'll come out in victory, I just need to keep believing and praying for the answers to come.

You seem to be describing the spiritual oppression.

Sometimes we are oppressed because the devil just hates us and thinks he can get us down.

Other times we are oppressed because we get out of the will of God, and the hedge comes down.

Finally, there is also what the Bible calles "tribulation" or just "pressure" or "oppression" in which the devil attacks the believer from time to time to just try to wear you out and get you sick of serving God. I've been born again ever since I was a child, and I won't deceive anyone about this, its rarely "easy" to be a Christian, in fact theres almost never a time when it is "easy". It is usually very hard and much resistance. If you aren't being harrassed by family or co-workers, you are being tempted by your own self to sin, and it can be very frustrating at times.

You should also find out if your girlfriend is really born again or not. You "should" be able to tell if you ask the right questions. Her response should NOT be, "Well, one time X number of years ago I went to an altar call and said a prayer." While some people do get born again in such services, the prayer and altar call in and of itself does not save anyone. So be sure she really is a Christian.

If she is not born again, you probably need to break up.

If she is born again, then I suggest you, "Make war on the floor," and pray for her until you're blue in the face...then pray some more. I mean, Jesus loved us so much he gave his life for us, and Paul said that a man ought to love his wife that much, so if you love this girl, you'd be willing to pray for her soul and her spiritual growth, but also for what is most important for her, and not just for yourself and what you "think" is best for her.

I mean, not just, "Oh God, get hold of my girlfriend and stir up her spirit...somethings wrong with her..." Maybe you should pray that way, but don't stop at that. Ask God to show you how to be a better boyfriend and a better witness to her. Not talking about "evangelistic dating," I'm talking about begining to fulfill the "priestly" role of the husband, even though you aren't married yet.

Ecc. 4:9Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
11Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

So God is one, and you're two, and she's three. If you want the relationship to grow, and more importantly you want to grow spiritually and you want her to grow spiritually, well give it to God.

Hannah's prayer when she was barren was one which was not seeking selfish blessing, but was seeking to be a blessing to God, and God heard that prayer. The relationship needs to be put into perspective of belonging to God. Just as Hannah gave Samuel back to the Lord from before he was even conceived, and as Abraham offered Isaac, his promised son, and as God offered Jesus, his only Begotten Son; you must offer the relationship to God. It sounds almost "corny," but it is a serious matter.

Christ must be Lord and Savior. He will not just settle for you to make him one or the other in your life. He wants total and complete surrender of everything that you are and every relationship of which you are a part

 

[Bryan Cotton]

Well that was along post.. I hope I didn't cause too many people to click the back button before the second paragraph.

I almost did. Especially with Wade's even longer response. But something told me to me not only to read your post, but Wade's whole response. I'm glad I did.

First off I will pray for you. It seems like your going through a lot right now. I'm facing something to that affect but not to the degree of chest pains.

I'm learning to praise God through trials and tribulations. I'm constantly reminding myself of James 1:2-4

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
​

When you're getting attack, man it can try your patience and if your patience get low, you start to lose faith. But I just praise God, knowing that he wont give me more then I can bare and when I get through it, it'll be all good and I'll have favour in God's eye.

I was on that "passivity towards God" for years. It's been almost a year since I've decided to rededicate my life to God and man it's been rough. I forgot how hard it was to try to walk the path righteousness. To top it off, my wife "believes" in God and has a "relationship" with God as she puts it, but refuses to go to church or belong to any...what she calls "religion."

Iot's not like I can just divorce her. The bible says don't turn away your wife if she is a non-beleive if she chooses to dwell with you. Well my wfie chooses to dwell with me, but it can be rough not having her at my side as I go through all these trails walking this path of righteousness. Like Wade said:

Ecc. 4:9Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Well my wife really can't relate to the trials I'm going through so I don't have my wife to lift me up if I fall.

I, too, want to be planted at a church that's not a side show or some concert. I also want unfiltered, unexaturated pure true word of God. That's hard to come by these days.

I pray for you brother. I pray for me. It can be soo fustrating and yet so fufilling walking this path. It's important to let the Devil know that he can not steal your joy that God has placed on your heart. No matter how much crazy stuff he tries to put on you.
It's really important to get in a church or fellowship of saints to be around others who will uplift you and encourage you as well. The bible says in Hebrews 10:25

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another:
​

 

[eNathans]

Being a Christian isn't particularly a constant battle for me, though I hear it is for many Christians. I thank God that I have few temptations to deal with in life. My main problem is just wanting God to do something exiting, bordom of "seeking God" can lead to passivity for me. This is why I need a ministry to belong to.

As for my girlfriend, I don't know if she's truley born again or not. I know her very well, she never experienced anything spiritual until she met me, and even then it hasn't quite been taking off to any large degree. She's converted from agnosticism to a general Christian belief and I think deep down she wounders what God is all about, and she has a very good heart. I know God wants to bring her to Him soon, but I guess she's stuck in passivity as I was. We plan to move in together in a few months, hopefully I can help her more at that time. But, as it's written, today is a day of salvation, not tommarow. (btw breaking up isn't something I do with someone that I love deeply, I'll stick it through with her).

"For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

Good scripture bro, this is exactly what I mean. These days so many relationships are either all sexual, or all emotional and or sexual. But a perfect relationship needs to have spiritual support and life sharing as well, and that's absent unfortinatly, so I know what you're going through Bryan. But I think Christ wants us to love our spouses, it's not room for divorce. Besides, the foundation of a marriage should be unconditional love rather than conditional love (e.g., getting a divorce if he/she can't relate to your spiritual life). But that's just my theory, I don't have much marriage experience

Thanks for your prayers, I'll keep praying and I'll try to remember to pray for your wife as well. The good news is that I'm doing better today than I was doing when I posted this, and definatly much better than I was two weeks ago, so in that I'll declare victory even though I'm not fully there yet.

 

[Bryan Cotton]

so I know what you're going through Bryan. But I think Christ wants us to love our spouses, it's not room for divorce.

Yea, I agree(with the exception of adultry). I won't divorce her. I don't want to divorce her. For now, I know she doesnt want to divorce me. But like your girlfriend, I think my wife is stuck in that passivity.

I don't have much marriage experience

Are you engaged to your girlfriend? Do you plan on getting married? The one thing a lot of people do is not making sure a solid spiritual foundation is set before getting into relationships?

The good news is that I'm doing better today than I was doing when I posted this, and definatly much better than I was two weeks ago, so in that I'll declare victory even though I'm not fully there yet.

Thats great! God bless.

 

[Nadiine]

en: Being a Christian isn't particularly a constant battle for me, though I hear it is for many Christians. I thank God that I have few temptations to deal with in life. My main problem is just wanting God to do something exiting, bordom of "seeking God" can lead to passivity for me. This is why I need a ministry to belong to.

I didn't do a first reply to your initial post -- but this caught my eye.

I'd say this is a bit of a cart before the horse issue... until you "seek God" and have that relationship, I'd make the claim that you probly aren't ready for a ministry yet, but are in training for one once you fix these initial serious issues going on.

I was this way in Spiritual Warfare when I just got free of my severe depression/opression - but I didn't have any m aturity or depth yet in my walk.
I wanted to run right out & get into warfare ministries & help people with their oppression; not realizing that I wasn't near equipped to help others since I had my own growth to gain in the Lord yet.

To top that off, as I got grounded in the Lord in a tighter relationship, He actually led me OUT of that ministry and it wasn't His will for me to be in that. (not that it won't ever be in the future; it just isn't now).

So that would be my one piece of advice as I read this thread.

 

[Floatingaxe]

Do not move in with your girlfriend if you want to stay on good terms with God. To add to your trouble would be to disobey God in such a way.

Living with a woman without the benefit of marriage is a sin. You shouldn't expect the Lord to bless you with any sort of ministry involvement if you embark on that kind of illicit arrangement. If you want to continue growing in your relationship with God, you need to take a great big step back on such plans with this woman.

Please seek God in this. The poster who suggested you and your girlfriend break up was giving you godly advice.

 

[eNathans]

Do not move in with your girlfriend if you want to stay on good terms with God. To add to your trouble would be to disobey God in such a way.

Living with a woman without the benefit of marriage is a sin. You shouldn't expect the Lord to bless you with any sort of ministry involvement if you embark on that kind of illicit arrangement. If you want to continue growing in your relationship with God, you need to take a great big step back on such plans with this woman.

Please seek God in this. The poster who suggested you and your girlfriend break up was giving you godly advice.

You seem to be jumping into some rather hastey assumpsions and jugments there. You seem to think that legal marriage is the only defining factor in a relationship, you seem to think that my girlfriend and I, who share every posible thing about our lives and have already devoted our love to eachother on an unconditional basis, living in the same quarters is "illicit," you seem to think that God wants me to reject the spiritual needs of my girlfriend instead of help her which He has shown me to do after much prayer, to help her the best that I can so that we can grow together in a relationship with God because right now we're deadlocked because she lives 1,200 miles away from eachother and the only other financially viable thing to do (other than her staying with my family) is for God to bless us with large sums of money for her to afford living on her own, and unfotinatly we're stuck with minimum wage in a tough ecnomy. You seem to think that breaking up with the women that God has brought into my life and made me realize that God does give good gifts is Godly because she's not yet as spiritually grounded as others may be. These are not the principles I live by, I want to make that clear. Hearing such quickly judgmental words like this is what makes me afraid to associate with most Christians in the real world.

Are you engaged to your girlfriend? Do you plan on getting married? The one thing a lot of people do is not making sure a solid spiritual foundation is set before getting into relationships?

In every other sense other than technically we are engaged, in that we are waiting to get married when we feel the time is right (obviously we want to wait until we've lived together for a bit and have the money to do so). The problem of having a spiritual foundation in our relationship is something that I struggled with constantly, because I knew in my heart that it was essencial, but was so lacking. God answered my prayers during that time, showing me that I am in her life to help her with this and did not indicate that the answer was forgetting about her finding someone better (which doesn't exist, I'd rather have my imperfect girlfriend any day. I don't flip-flop "girlfriend" in search for the best "qualities." What I have is perfect in it's imperfection.). But I'm believing that things will pick up more once she's staying with me, so that we can communicate more in person, and hopefully the Lord will guide the rest.

I didn't do a first reply to your initial post -- but this caught my eye.

I'd say this is a bit of a cart before the horse issue... until you "seek God" and have that relationship, I'd make the claim that you probly aren't ready for a ministry yet, but are in training for one once you fix these initial serious issues going on.

hmm, you might be right about that one. My brother and I have been thinking in this direction. The Lord gave us a word about two years ago that indicated that God is just waiting for us to overcome (the exact words were to break the bonds and chains), and then that's when God will bring us into the ministry. But you might be right there, that there's a bit of a training period first. Guess I just have to wait it out and keep believing!

I was this way in Spiritual Warfare when I just got free of my severe depression/opression - but I didn't have any m aturity or depth yet in my walk.
I wanted to run right out & get into warfare ministries & help people with their oppression; not realizing that I wasn't near equipped to help others since I had my own growth to gain in the Lord yet.

To top that off, as I got grounded in the Lord in a tighter relationship, He actually led me OUT of that ministry and it wasn't His will for me to be in that. (not that it won't ever be in the future; it just isn't now).

So that would be my one piece of advice as I read this thread.

Yea, God will do that sometimes, as far as leading you out of a church or ministry. I sort of feel the same way that you must have, I'm just eager to practically go out and start preaching on corners (not literally). But I know if I did that it would be in the flesh, God will do whatever he wants with me in his own timing. The desire to help people is good though, God will always use that. There's a co-worker at my job that I have a feeling that God wants me to reach out to him (probably something simple, maybe give him my testimony). But first God has to build you up.. I guess we get a bit too eager sometimes

 

[Floatingaxe]

A heart that is sensitive to God and eager to please Him by following after Jesus Christ and His word will not rush to defend fornication, but will listen to godly counsel.

 

[eNathans]

A heart that is sensitive to God and eager to please Him by following after Jesus Christ and His word will not rush to defend fornication, but will listen to godly counsel.

Maybe you're being quick to judge that I will be "fornicating."

 

[Nadiine]

Maybe you're being quick to judge that I will be "fornicating."

=) Well she isn't incorrect and there are other aspects to living together that break other principles God set for us to live.

Putting yourself in the way of temptation directly
Appearance of evil (what your living condition looks like to others)
Stumbling others in their own walks or causing others to judge

There's no reason to willfully make the choice to live with a girl/boy friend if we claim Christ. We have to put others over self and keep ourselves from wrong appearances, etc.
It really doesnt' matter if you didn't have sex, it's still not God's will to walk into temptation's door and ruin your Christian witness while it appears to everyone else that you're living w/ somebody in sin.

 

[eNathans]

I don't live as a people pleaser. I'm tired of Christians judging my relationship with my girlfriend. In fact, I'm begining to hate the word girlfriend becaues it automatically misleads people into thining we're just some random, casual "daters."

If I wanted to I could go out and marry her asap, just to please a bunch of Christians who are bent on the legal document of marriage to prove the validity of a relationship. If I were to tell you that we're 100% commited to eachother for life, but lack what you call "marriage" from some sort of legal standpoint, it just makes everything wrong doesn't it? Illicit, sinful, having the appearence of evil.

I know what is right and what is wrong because the Spirit convicts me. My lifer partner and I are already commited to ourselves for life, period. I don't need man's approval or legal documents as Christians "require" to meet their surface-only standards.

 

[Floatingaxe]

Maybe you're being quick to judge that I will be "fornicating."

It stands to reason if you plan to co-habit. Unmarried believers have no reason to consider such a thing as we are admonished in scripture to avoid the very appearance of evil.

1 Thessalonians 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.

 

[Floatingaxe]

I don't live as a people pleaser. I'm tired of Christians judging my relationship with my girlfriend. In fact, I'm begining to hate the word girlfriend becaues it automatically misleads people into thining we're just some random, casual "daters."

If I wanted to I could go out and marry her asap, just to please a bunch of Christians who are bent on the legal document of marriage to prove the validity of a relationship. If I were to tell you that we're 100% commited to eachother for life, but lack what you call "marriage" from some sort of legal standpoint, it just makes everything wrong doesn't it? Illicit, sinful, having the appearence of evil.

I know what is right and what is wrong because the Spirit convicts me. My lifer partner and I are already commited to ourselves for life, period. I don't need man's approval or legal documents as Christians "require" to meet their surface-only standards.

Another ignored command:

2 Corinthians 6:14
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?

I trust you will hear the word of the Lord in this very serious matter. What one does in this regard will colour all that comes one's way from that point on. Ignore righteousness, and expect ministry? It won't happen.

 

[Bryan Cotton]

In every other sense other than technically we are engaged, in that we are waiting to get married when we feel the time is right

Ok, with that in mind, just remeber to get that spiritual foundation solid so you both have a sound spiritual foundation to stand on through good and bad times.

I don't need to tell you not to do this or do that. I'm not going to jump to the conclusion that your fornicating with your girl friend or will do so if you move in with her. I won't do that because if you two make sure you have a solid spirtual foudation, you will know that is against God.

But more importantly, and my point is , if you both are standing on a solid spirutal foundation, you will be able to both walk a path that is favorable to God. And when you're feeling depressed or lonley or let down or anything that we all go through, then you have a spiritual partner to help you through it by sound biblical principles.

Keep this in mind. If your attempting to walk a path that's favorable to God, the devil won't like that. So he will thrust attacks upon you. If you are not walking a path that is favorable to God, the devil likes that and has no reason to thrust attacks on you because you're no threat to him.

Be careful of not being attack by the devil as a Chrisitan?

 

[Cassidy]

Adam and Eve weren't fornicating when they became one flesh...they didn't legally marry either. Actually I don't see any 'legal' marriage in the bible at all. Can someone show me where one MUST be legally married in the eyes of man in order to be classed as married in the eyes of God? Scripture please!

 

[Floatingaxe]

Adam and Eve weren't fornicating when they became one flesh...they didn't legally marry either. Actually I don't see any 'legal' marriage in the bible at all. Can someone show me where one MUST be legally married in the eyes of man in order to be classed as married in the eyes of God? Scripture please!

God joined them in marriage. Biblical marriages were marriages done legally according to custom.

Doing things right according to law pleases God. He calls us to be good citizens and not rebels.

 

[Bryan Cotton]

Adam and Eve weren't fornicating when they became one flesh...they didn't legally marry either. Actually I don't see any 'legal' marriage in the bible at all. Can someone show me where one MUST be legally married in the eyes of man in order to be classed as married in the eyes of God? Scripture please!

I'd like to see some scriptures on this too. Wow, your post in itself is a thread in its own right.

 

[Cassidy]

God joined them in marriage. Biblical marriages were marriages done legally according to custom.

Doing things right according to law pleases God. He calls us to be good citizens and not rebels.

The law does not state that one must get married - not in my country anyway. So one can be together and live in a 'defacto' or 'common law' marriage and still be legal.

Just because they law says that they are not married doesn't mean that God believes that or there would be a whole lot of fornicators in the bible that God turned a blind eye to.

Also..it states in Corinthians (I think) that when one sleeps with another then they break the covenant of marriage and the other is free. So how is it that the act of sleeping together can break a covenant but one cannot enter one through the act of sleeping together?

So I ask again, please show me a scripture where God states that he only recognises marriages that are recognised by the law of man.

 

[Cassidy]

I'd like to see some scriptures on this too. Wow, your post in itself is a thread in its own right.

Well it took my divorce to actually study this. I realised that I hadn't been married to my husband looooooong before we got legally divorced and this supported in scripture...so yeh, I needed to know that what I was doing (divorce) was right. Not that I divorced him...he actually divorced me against my will....which is apparantly legal in this country