Calling a man

[sillycat2112]

I have a question. I have been told that the best way to get a man's respect is not to call him and rarely return his calls. Does this really work? I have met someone via internet and he calls me. I tend to be busy a few times when he calls. He keeps calling. I called him once to return a missed phone call. I feel like Im playing games, but in the relationships where I called a man it never worked out for me. Am I doing right?

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

It's been my experience that men, in general, don't like to talk on the phone. I figure if a man really wants to talk to you, he'll call...but maybe not all men our like that. I remember when my boyfriend and I started dating, he would call me more often and his phone calls were longer. Now, he doesn't really share that much with me on the phone and our conversations are rather short. That's just the way it is in the beginning I guess...I don't know, that has been my experience.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

i don't really know what guys feel cause i'm not a guy, but in the beginning of our relationship i called him just about as much as he called me and now that we've been dating for two years i call him all the time and don't even give him a chance to call me. i try not to but i just like to talk lol. anyway, he's still with me so yeah.

 

[sillycat2112]

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate all your answers. It feels odd to not call a man to me. In my other relationships I did call men. Two of them I was engaged in but it seemed like the relationships were dragging along. So, none of them really worked out. I had wondered if there was anyone out there that didn't call and played hard to get. It's hard to know what to do. My last relationship was the most abusive one I had ever been in. After that one, I had gotten to the point I would be better off alone with my life then to find myself in the mess I did before. After a few months I started thinking if I did things differently I would not have found myself in that predictament again. I thought I would play hard to get, but I feel this is rubbing me the wrong way.

 

[melandshanetria]

I understand how you feel,especially if the man showed interest in you first...In the beginning of a relationship, I hate to be the one to do the pursuing when the man showed interest in me first, but most men don't like to talk on the phone...my dad absolutely hates it and he never answers the phone when someone calls...the only time he talks on it, is when someone asks for him....it doesn't hurt to show a man that you're indeed interested, but I feel personally, if he's the one that was interested first, let him do the pursuing. After much prayer and telling my boyfriend what I like in a man, my honey calls me more now, always let me know what he is doing and always leave his Yahoo Messenger status up to being mobile when he's at work so we can text message each other while he's at work. Most men don't know how you feel about calling unless you spell it out for them...everybody have thier own ways of accepting various things...What may work for one may not work for others, pray about it and do what you feel is best...But overall, we call each other as well as use our Instant Messenger and webcams too....LOL..

 

[Sketcher]

I'd say return his calls, but don't call him constantly. If we sense that the lady's being obsessive and not giving us any room to breathe, we'll dump her quickly.

I don't like waiting on calls, that's why I'd rather be the one to do the calling.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

I call my bf way more than he calls me. Men don't generally have a lot to talk about on the phone...lol...at least not all of them. I wouldn't play "games" with him though. If he calls and you are there, then why not answer?

 

[MN John]

Calling or returning calls assures him that you're interested. Make a deal that if he leaves you a message, you will definately call him back as soon as you can talk and vice versa. Then you both don't have to keep trying, just leave one message and you'll get a call when the other person is aailable to talk. If something else comes up ... breaking news, change of plans, etc, you can call with the new info, or you can call if several hours have gone by without a return. But generally, call all you want, but just one time and let the other person call back.

 

[DeezyC81]

Well I'll say return his calls and give him a call every once in a while. Cause everyone likes to feel important sometimes. And when it comes to respecting you. He has to make that choice or you two have to talk about it.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Oh please - call the guy! Don't go overboard and do it every time you think of him - but one every second day or so seems pretty normal to me!

DON'T PLAY GAMES, for goodness sake! Are we adults here, or children? This whole 'don't call, wait 3 days, ignore his number' blah blah blah does not work. Women hate it, men hate it - just be real!

If you like him, and you enjoy talking to him - don't let 'the rules' dictate to you how you should handle contact. Be friendly, chat about normal things, answer his calls when he calls, even make a time to call to make sure it suits.

I HATE these 'playing games' 'men should make the first move' cr@ppy rubbish that gets sprouted. Just cos YOU call him, does not mean you are going against the Bible's way of handling relationships - you have just as much a right to call as he does (and as much of a right to ask him out too!)...

Goodness gracious me, what century are we in again???!!!!

Sasch

 

[Hediru]

Don't worry about it. If you want to call him, call him. If he calls you, answer his call. Return his calls. If he doesn't like it, then he's not worth the effort to try and make it work. Be yourself!

 

[sillycat2112]

Ok Ok OK........ I called him. I waited till he was off his shift which was 12:00 midnight. He was very surprised that I called him. IT had been two days and usually he calls every two days. He said he had been pretty busy being on tow duty. He was very tired and we talked for about 10-15 minutes. I heard him yawn so I let him go. He ended the call saying quote.. " I am glad that you called! " I was walking on air the whole day. I feel like I treated him or something.

 

[hasnoname]

From my experience...because I am a guy...and I am sure all guys are not exactly the same, but this is how God made it:

It is perfectly ok to call a guy. But it is not ok to pursue a guy. You should let the man pursue you just as Christ pursues you. If he is worth anything he will pursue you. If he is really interested in you he will pursue you. I know from experience...I was in a 2 year relationship where the girl pursued me. It was not good. If a man is following Christ, then He will know how precious you are and how important it is to pursue you...it is God's intention for relationships to work that way. As we are the bride of Christ, he acts much like a suitor to us. Christ pursues us, and when we answer He is always there. In your walk with God have you gone to Him because you felt like it or is it because He has called you to Him. God initiates...He is the one who sent His son for us...He is the one who spoke into our hearts when He called us to His kingdom.

 

[melandshanetria]

From my experience...because I am a guy...and I am sure all guys are not exactly the same, but this is how God made it:

It is perfectly ok to call a guy. But it is not ok to pursue a guy. You should let the man pursue you just as Christ pursues you. If he is worth anything he will pursue you. If he is really interested in you he will pursue you. I know from experience...I was in a 2 year relationship where the girl pursued me. It was not good. If a man is following Christ, then He will know how precious you are and how important it is to pursue you...it is God's intention for relationships to work that way. As we are the bride of Christ, he acts much like a suitor to us. Christ pursues us, and when we answer He is always there. In your walk with God have you gone to Him because you felt like it or is it because He has called you to Him. God initiates...He is the one who sent His son for us...He is the one who spoke into our hearts when He called us to His kingdom.

Well said!!!!!

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

Well said!!!!!

Ditto

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Um...we both call each other, but in reality he does most of the calling, but we both enjoy talking to each other. We're still together and plan on keeping it that way.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I usually took not returning calls as a sign to go find someone else to call.
If you like someone, call them. I never understood the whole head game about when to call someone back and stuff. If you like someone, show them that you like them. If you're jsut friends at the moment then don't even worry about anything yet.

 

[Chaan Stines]

Don't play games. If I like a girl, and call her, and she never answers, or is always busy, or won't return my calls, it makes me think that she isn't interested, thinks I'm a stalker, or whatever. I agree it's perfectly fine for a girl to call a guy, as long as it's not every 15 minutes, or even every single day. That can get annoying, cuz it's like, "Um, well nothing much is new from this morning when you called. Uh.... work was okay I guess... What's new with you?"

 

[Mskedi]

Once a day is bad? Sheesh... I talk with my boyfriend a minimum of twice a day. :o

He calls me in the morning when he gets off work, and I call him in the afternoon when I get off work. It's nice.

And it's always been like that. When we first met one of the things I liked about him was that he called me frequently and he always sounded happy when I called him.