Called to be single?

[Lybrah]

How will you know if you are called to be single? Other than the obvious---you can't find the right person. Any telltale signs?

 

[BadHabit]

I don't know for sure. I think for me it was that I know a peace and closeness to God now that I am single that I was never able to experience when I was embroiled in relationships. In my mind, God has a purpose for me that I can only fulfill without the distractions and chains of a relationship with someone else.

 

[Bass4Jesus]

I can speak only for myself. Even when I was a little kid I knew I'd never marry. It wasn't that the notion repelled me or anything; it was just... never on my map. Never part of my DNA. Total disinterest.

 

[blackribbon]

I know that I am NOT called to be single. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer has been "a wife and a mother"...from as long as I can remember....even before I like-liked boys. I am now single by fate and really can't find any peace in living alone. I hope to one day find someone else to live my life with.

I do not think being married is better than being single because I can see a lot of advantages to being single and not tied to another person. I just simply know that I was not created to be single. I was created to be a help-mate and a partner.

 

[exitstageright]

How will you know if you are called to be single? Other than the obvious---you can't find the right person. Any telltale signs?

Well, I am so well organized,and self-sufficient. By that,I mean that I can do my own cooking,housekeeping,laundry,ironing,yes ironing, budgeting, bill paying,and clothes matching.What do I need a wife for? I do not need a helpmate. Because I know how to help and to take care of myself.
There is a part of me that would love to come home from work every day,to be with a wife and two kids. But,there is another part of me that yearns to get on a ship,and visit ports all around the world. It is part of that 80%/20% rule.

 

[dayhiker]

I'm clearly not created by God to be single as I think about relationships with woman all the time. If I was called to be celibate I'd not be thinking about
relationships. Some other things would be my passion. I find so much meaning in being with a woman, so much contentment.
The way God has been speaking for me the last 4 years is that being a friend is where God wants me to be. God has given me many many friends.
So many I can hardly keep up with them all. So I spend almost all my available time with people on a one on one bases or small groups. Its
amazing what I see happening in our lives.
You might think here is a disconnect between friends and GFs. But to me its just a continuum of relationships. I did the marriage things for many years
and now that I'm divorced I don't plan on getting the state involved in my relationships because that wouldn't work with what God is doing in my life.
So I stop the continuum before marriage.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

What makes this tricky is we are fallen people in a fallen world. I do believe some people are given the gift of singleness and Biblically it is given for the purpose of having more time and focus on God and serving Him. Most of us are not called to be single but many factors can affect whether or not we end up single.

In my case I am self-sufficient and in fact have a hard time having someone help me. The big thing that is missing is the desire to make an emotional connection with another person. I prefer to be alone most of the time and don't enjoy talking a lot. I have a hard time coming up with things I'd want to do with a woman (or even a friend). It's not that I never go out but it's not something I enjoy doing often. I run out of things to talk about quickly. I don't like feeling guilty about my alone time. I know relationships take work, give and take, and spending time together. If you're not drawn to spending time together then how can you make a relationship work? Lacking emotional bonds sex because a purely physical act for relief and not the bonding God intended it to be. I find I am not drawn to sex with a partner because of that. I don't believe it should be an empty act and being with someone totally distracts me. If I want to be close I can get more out of cuddling, holding hands, etc.

Is all that natural? No. I am a product of a very bad childhood that no amount of prayer, counseling, and meds has overcome. I know God can change me and I should want that but it's hard to want something you've never had. You want it intellectually because you know you should but it's not really something you want in your gut.

 

[Rajni]

How will you know if you are called to be single? Other than the obvious---you can't find the right person. Any telltale signs?

Being absolutely okay with being single might be another indicator.


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[Ubuntu]

The "gift of singleness" is for people who are set apart for gospel work in a very special way. Paul had this gift, and it's evident why he never married. He spent his life traveling the world, in prison, persecuted, stoned and beaten... He ended his life prematurely, he became a martyr. His call was utterly incompatible with family life.

Then again, not all gospel workers have to go through this kind of hardship. Several of the other Apostles were apparently married. So it really depends on your call. There are some people who have this gift, but I believe they are relatively few.

We're free to choose to be celibate and we don't have to marry if we don't want to. But few celibate people actually have the biblical "gift of singleness".

 

[exitstageright]

The "gift of singleness" is for people who are set apart for gospel work in a very special way. Paul had this gift, and it's evident why he never married. He spent his life traveling the world, in prison, persecuted, stoned and beaten... He ended his life prematurely, he became a martyr. His call was utterly incompatible with family life.

Then again, not all gospel workers have to go through this kind of hardship. Several of the other Apostles were apparently married. So it really depends on your call. There are some people who have this gift, but I believe they are relatively few.

We're free to choose to be celibate and we don't have to marry if we don't want to. But few celibate people actually have the biblical "gift of singleness".

Paul was a Pharisee. Therefore he had to have been married at one time.

Philippians 3:5New American Standard Bible (NASB)

5 circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee;

 

[Ubuntu]

Paul was a Pharisee. Therefore he had to have been married at one time.

Philippians 3:5New American Standard Bible (NASB)

5 circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee;

Paul speaks about his gift of singleness in Corinthians:

"I wish that everyone was as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one this way, another that. To the unmarried and widows I say that it is best for them to remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, let them get married. For it is better to marry than to burn with desire." 1 Corinthians 7:7-8

Was he previously widowed? I'm not completely ruling this out, but at least for the duration of his ministry he was most likely single. There is no reference to a wife while he was an apostle.

 

[exitstageright]

Paul speaks about his gift of singleness in Corinthians:

"I wish that everyone was as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one this way, another that. To the unmarried and widows I say that it is best for them to remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, let them get married. For it is better to marry than to burn with desire." 1 Corinthians 7:7-8

Was he previously widowed? I'm not completely ruling this out, but at least for the duration of his ministry he was most likely single. There is no reference to a wife while he was an apostle.

There is speculation that Paul,while he was Saul,was married,and that he might have been a widower. If that was the case,as far as marriage was concerned,Paul may have had a "been there,done that "attitude.

I really do feel bad for the christians,who are still faithful,by staying virgins,until they get married. Yet,God has not provided a spouse for them. Why, would God give them physical desires,and needs,if he wants them to be single all of their lives? It would be a shame for one to go to ones' grave,while being cheated out of one of the pleasures of life.

 

[Sir Robbins]

There is speculation that Paul,while he was Saul,was married,and that he might have been a widower. If that was the case,as far as marriage was concerned,Paul may have had a "been there,done that "attitude.

I really do feel bad for the christians,who are still faithful,by staying virgins,until they get married. Yet,God has not provided a spouse for them. Why, would God give them physical desires,and needs,if he wants them to be single all of their lives? It would be a shame for one to go to ones' grave,while being cheated out of one of the pleasures of life.

you'd end up being cheated out of multiple pleasures actually but I know what you mean. I am going down that path intentionally. wish me luck

 

[exitstageright]

you'd end up being cheated out of multiple pleasures actually but I know what you mean. I am going down that path intentionally. wish me luck

Good luck!

 

[Goodbook]

I dont think Paul was married and become a widow as he doesnt mention any of his own children. He does call Timothy his son though, in the faith.

I think Paul was quite clear that if you marry you may have problems, esp women because of childbirth and the huge responisbility it is to raise children. Even Jesus said that it was better to remain unmarried (when talking about the destruction of Jerusalem) and not be nursing a child at the time. I think being married is also being yoked, and i would rather be free because I see a lot of unequally yoked married couples and its not good. There is no point being married just for the sake of it.

 

[Goodbook]

Paul was a Pharisee. Therefore he had to have been married at one time.

Philippians 3:5New American Standard Bible (NASB)

5 circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee;

Being a pharisee does not mean you had to be married. Paul wasnt a rabbi....show me where it says all pharisees were married. As to the law...a Pharisee...meaning he was a stickler to the rules.

 

[Sir Robbins]

I dont think Paul was married and become a widow as he doesnt mention any of his own children. He does call Timothy his son though, in the faith.

I think Paul was quite clear that if you marry you may have problems, esp women because of childbirth and the huge responisbility it is to raise children. Even Jesus said that it was better to remain unmarried (when talking about the destruction of Jerusalem) and not be nursing a child at the time. I think being married is also being yoked, and i would rather be free because I see a lot of unequally yoked married couples and its not good. There is no point being married just for the sake of it.

just because one is married does not imply they will have children. It is a pretty common suspicion that he was married but we may never really know.

 

[dayhiker]

Its well known that Pharisees and Jews in general considered the first command of God was to be fruitful, so almost all Jews married so as to now break that law.

Clearly Paul did hundreds of times more things than are recorded in the Bible. SO I'm sure he was married ... one thought is that his wife and their first child died in child birth.

 

[NOTWHATIWAS]

How will you know if you are called to be single? Other than the obvious---you can't find the right person. Any telltale signs?

I'm searching for the right person myself. Actually, I'm the one stepping out in faith and boldness. I am a firm believer in "Ask,Seek, Knock".Keep the faith! When all the prayers have been prayed, the seeds have been planted, etc. it is God who is responsible for the harvest. Keep "planting seeds of friendship". Your husband may be someone on this site. He may walk up to you in church next week. God knows the best choice for you and He is faithful. I will keep you in prayers. God bless.

 

[blackribbon]

I'm searching for the right person myself. Actually, I'm the one stepping out in faith and boldness. I am a firm believer in "Ask,Seek, Knock".Keep the faith! When all the prayers have been prayed, the seeds have been planted, etc. it is God who is responsible for the harvest. Keep "planting seeds of friendship". Your husband may be someone on this site. He may walk up to you in church next week. God knows the best choice for you and He is faithful. I will keep you in prayers. God bless.

He may also say "this is not the right time" or "no". I am trying hard to come to peace that these might be my answers.