Called to be single

[HappyChristian98]

Hey,

I need some advice from Christians, I think I may be called to be single.
I've been a dedicated Christian for about 2 years now (originally Christian 7 years ago but not committed at first).

When I pray, I sense God tells me to remain single. If I remain single I can do more of His work (i.e. disciple, help others).

If I get married, my Bible says I will focus on my spouse and things of the world (it also clearly says - this is NOT a sin, it's just what keeps us from getting a divorce ).

When I get the feeling I am suppose to be single, I do not feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel a lot of sadness and melancholy.

But this could be because I'm selfish and I want the married life.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

There have been times where I've wondered the same thing about myself, and then other times not. Lately I've been leaning towards the not. I've wondered how a person knows that they've been called to a life of celibacy before. The only thing that seems to be common is that they just "know it" without any doubt.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I ever desire a relationship with a member of the opposite sex?

Do I ever think I might want to get married at some time?

Do I have an interest in sex or a sex drive?

If any of those come with a "yes," then I'm not sure that person is supposed to be celibate unless they have an extraordinary amount of self-control, the kind that very few people have.

If you get the feeling of sadness when you think you are supposed to be single, that may mean "no." I would imagine that if you were called to celibacy you would think just the opposite.

 

[Wade Smith]

There have been times where I've wondered the same thing about myself, and then other times not. Lately I've been leaning towards the not. I've wondered how a person knows that they've been called to a life of celibacy before. The only thing that seems to be common is that they just "know it" without any doubt.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I ever desire a relationship with a member of the opposite sex?

Do I ever think I might want to get married at some time?

Do I have an interest in sex or a sex drive?

If any of those come with a "yes," then I'm not sure that person is supposed to be celibate unless they have an extraordinary amount of self-control, the kind that very few people have.

If you get the feeling of sadness when you think you are supposed to be single, that may mean "no." I would imagine that if you were called to celibacy you would think just the opposite.

I am inclined to agree. "Joy" is a fruit of the Spirit. If a person were supposedly "called to be single" then they should generally be happy in that situation, because the Spirit of God will fill them with love and joy to "take the place of" the natural needs and desires.

If a person is not experiencing that sort of supernatural fulfillment, then they are not called to be single.

They may have trouble with the opposite sex for some reason, or may have doubts that their own flesh gives them, or that satan gives them when they think about it or pray, but if someone is "sad" or "melancholy" when they consider their situation, as it regards marriage, it is highly probably that they are not called to be single.


I know that I want a wife, and as of yet, I have no indication from God that it isn't his will for me. I sometimes spend a lot of time praying about marriage and finding a good christian woman to love and marry, and I have told the Lord that if it isn't his will to then take it from me. He has not, so I know that I will continue in prayer and keep my eyes open for the woman I need. I find that I want to be a blessing to the woman even more than I need her for myself, and I hope that is a good sign of God working in me, in spite of my vast imperfections.



If you find yourself asking God for a mate, then in all likelihood you are not "called" to be single. As a believer, God puts a desire in your heart for things he wants to give you, and he wants you to come to him and share that desire with him and ask him for his help in bringing it to pass.

One of the last things the devil wants is for you to actually pray about finding a spouse.