Call to celibacy

[Michael Pfingst]

I want to commit my life to God in celibacy, but unsure how to go about it. What does answering the call to lifelong singleness look like for a Christian? I know for Catholics and Eastern Orthodox there is monasticism, But I am unsure which faith group I belong in. It seems like if one sticks to a Protestant domination, they really don't fit anywhere... Nobody knows what to do with them. They just wind up forever as the "weird person who slipped through the cracks."
I want to intentionally commit myself to God this way and not just accidentally end up single. I know it is extremely rare, but I am completely sane. Just trying to figure out where my place is in the Church.

 

[Andrewn]

Many Protestants lived celibate lives. I believe CS Lewis was celibate (even though he married late in life). But it is so much easier and makes sense to Join a Catholic or EO group.

 

[Albion]

It seems to me that first you need to belong to a church--before contemplating which of its religious orders or etc. you think would be your best fit.

And, yes, there are some among the Protestant denominations. Not a lot of them, but some.

 

[Michael Pfingst]

It seems to me that first you need to belong to a church--before contemplating which of its religious orders or etc. you think would be your best fit.

Yeah well, then there's that issue.

 

[Albion]

Yeah well, then there's that issue.

Right. You really cannot approach any religious order and say you feel called, but no, you don't belong to the church of which it is an affiliate.

All of them are careful when admitting new members, and this would not work with them. Then too, your own beliefs are likely to be changed a bit when you go through the process of joining a church, and that in turn would affect your choice of a religious community or similar vocation.

 

[Michael Pfingst]

Right. You really cannot approach any religious order and say you feel called, but no, you don't belong to the church of which it is an affiliate.

All of them are careful when admitting new members, and this would not work with them. Then too, your own beliefs are likely to be changed a bit when you go through the process of joining a church, and that in turn would affect your choice of a religious community or similar vocation.

Right, of course. I am not necessarily looking to join a religious order, though I'm open to it (if they will accept a guy in his 40's), just trying to figure out how to live as a Christian who wants to live distracted for God. I know what that would look like in a RC or EO church- become a monk- but not sure I want to go back into that kind of a church... Also not sure which Protestant denomination I should join, since my beliefs have changed a bit since I was last Protestant... and especially since I live in a post-Christian part of the country and all the churches here are weak.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

Monasticism is more than just celibacy but a call to the contemplative life. I've met a number of monks and there was one, Christodoulous, who always had the sweetest disposition. There was a holiness about him that embraced everyone around him. I've also met a few that, Lord, thank heavens they were called to the celibate life, as I don't think they would have survived a marriage.

If you feel called to a celibate life, then praise God. If later you do feel called for marriage, then praise God as well.

 

[Albion]

Right, of course. I am not necessarily looking to join a religious order, though I'm open to it (if they will accept a guy in his 40's), just trying to figure out how to live as a Christian who wants to live distracted for God. I know what that would look like in a RC or EO church- become a monk- but not sure I want to go back into that kind of a church... Also not sure which Protestant denomination I should join, since my beliefs have changed a bit since I was last Protestant... and especially since I live in a post-Christian part of the country and all the churches here are weak.

Okay. That changes things somewhat from my perspective. Let's forget monasticism, which seemed a bit too demanding in the first place. There are, in both Catholicism and some Protestant churches, genuine religious orders which are not monastic. They either exist "in community" or the members live wherever they may be and only come together occasionally in chapter meetings.

They have a regimen concerning dress, prayer, worship, and community service. Some of these are even multi-denominational, such as the Order of Ecumenical Franciscans. I'm not recommending OEF, mind you, but mentioning them in order to say that such organizations do exist.

 

[PloverWing]

Are you looking just for a commitment to singleness, or are you looking also for a commitment to a particular kind of ministry? In the monastic orders, there is generally a commitment to a structured discipline of prayer, sometimes accompanied by a specific ministry, such as teaching, service to the poor, etc. Do you have something like that in mind, and if so, what form would it take?

 

[dqhall]

I want to commit my life to God in celibacy, but unsure how to go about it. What does answering the call to lifelong singleness look like for a Christian? I know for Catholics and Eastern Orthodox there is monasticism, But I am unsure which faith group I belong in. It seems like if one sticks to a Protestant domination, they really don't fit anywhere... Nobody knows what to do with them. They just wind up forever as the "weird person who slipped through the cracks."
I want to intentionally commit myself to God this way and not just accidentally end up single. I know it is extremely rare, but I am completely sane. Just trying to figure out where my place is in the Church.

If you stay single, you are supposed to stay celibate. Fornication is forbidden. You may need a job or some source of income like the apostle Paul who made tents to fund his ministry until he got a following to help support himself. If you have job skills, there are help wanted ads a plenty. No whining about not fitting in. Living single may require finding a smaller home to live in, there are disadvantages in not having someone to share a place with. Some singles later desired family life.

I used to attend a men’s meeting one night a week. It was a form of community. There were married, divorced and single men. Now there are numerous groups online of varying degrees of quality. I used to read Biblical archaeology and Bible geography books in the world’s largest library. I was there alone. Due to my unusual interest, I was able to participate in some online discussions where others would not fit in.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I want to commit my life to God in celibacy, but unsure how to go about it. What does answering the call to lifelong singleness look like for a Christian? I know for Catholics and Eastern Orthodox there is monasticism, But I am unsure which faith group I belong in. It seems like if one sticks to a Protestant domination, they really don't fit anywhere... Nobody knows what to do with them. They just wind up forever as the "weird person who slipped through the cracks."
I want to intentionally commit myself to God this way and not just accidentally end up single. I know it is extremely rare, but I am completely sane. Just trying to figure out where my place is in the Church.

It just plainly means no sex out of wedlock. There are no rewards for being celibate it just means you are following His will, which we all strive to do.
Blessings.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

1Co 7:32-33 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
​

Singleness, as a Christian's purpose, is to serve the LORD without distraction. As a married person the above scripture at times has applied to my life. I find that often my wife does not like me "doing" ministry-like things, so I can not serve the LORD as fully as I would like.

She still allows me to do things at times, so my hands are not tied, but there is a part of you that you must submit to your wife in order to have peace, and at times this clashes with a ministry.

 

[Sketcher]

I know for Catholics and Eastern Orthodox there is monasticism, But I am unsure which faith group I belong in.

For that, consider whether or not you would do well living with other monks for the rest of your life.

It seems like if one sticks to a Protestant domination, they really don't fit anywhere... Nobody knows what to do with them. They just wind up forever as the "weird person who slipped through the cracks."

There's more than a few of us. It's important to stay connected via small groups. I'm in a men's group myself with 3 other single guys and two married guys. We have social and service events on rotation.

I want to intentionally commit myself to God this way and not just accidentally end up single.

If you don't mind my asking, what's the difference for you?

Just trying to figure out where my place is in the Church.

That will depend on your other gifts besides singleness.

 

[All Glory To God]

I want to commit my life to God in celibacy, but unsure how to go about it. What does answering the call to lifelong singleness look like for a Christian? I know for Catholics and Eastern Orthodox there is monasticism, But I am unsure which faith group I belong in. It seems like if one sticks to a Protestant domination, they really don't fit anywhere... Nobody knows what to do with them. They just wind up forever as the "weird person who slipped through the cracks."
I want to intentionally commit myself to God this way and not just accidentally end up single. I know it is extremely rare, but I am completely sane. Just trying to figure out where my place is in the Church.

Depending on where you are in the world, you may have to forego going to church. Reason being is more and more churches have apostatised and there might not be any Biblical churces near you. Pastors and their cronies will insist you'll need to travel and the search go further and further from your current home until relocation is inevitable. And as you have correctly identified protestant churches are not well suited for celibate people and are viewed as somewhat as a misfit in their churces. So the reception given to celibate people is generally cold and suspicious.

Relocating and leaving all behind in pursuit of a Biblical church was done during the Reformation but that was the birth of the Protestant Church. Now I think we are seeing the demise of the church. So demanding people who are desiring to assemble relocate in this apostate era is dishonest or at minimum unreasonable.

So with all that being said you could dedicate your life to public evangelism and or missionary work. A teacher at a university. And I'm sure there are other projects the Lord could call you to outside the church.