burnt out

[redeemedNG]

Hi, ladies. I found this site while searching for some support on-line for "Preacher's Wives". I'm really struggling right now with this role. My husband and I have been married for almost nine years and he has been pastoring for 8 years. I'm feeling really burned out. I'm espically haveing a hard time right now dealing with all the criticism that I get from others and always feeling like I'm on display to be judged by everyone. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes on how to cope.

 

[kellyjelly]

Hi redeemedNG,

I totally feel and understand your frustration. Often church people can seem alot harsher than non christians. I too am strugling with this issue of being judged and criticized. I feel like i'm stuck in the mud at our church at the moment. Do you have a christian friend who isn't associated with your church who you can vent to?
Often i feel like i just need to rant for a while and get it off my chest and then i'm ok again.
I also try to remind myself that as a woman, i tend to 'over worry' about others opinions of me. (often these thoughts consume me)
Sorry i can't be of more help on how to cope with what you're going through......but you can be reassured that there are many other pastors wives who struggle daily with what you are going through.
I hope your frustration eases soon.

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Hi Redeemed & Kelly ! I have been sick and out of pocket for a while. I am glad you both found this site and hope you will hang in there with us and maybe we will all hit it on the same day.

I have been a PW for over 30 yrs. BURNOUT ? Sometimes I feel and look much like a roasted marshmellow ....all puffy and sticky, all stringy and matted and feeling a little "burned up" (pun intended girls !).

I know exactly how you feel...Kelly gave good advice...if you can find a very well trusted outside the church friend to listen...best if it can be another preacher's wife IN A FAR OFF LAND....meaning not one in your area who will be tempted to blab your sorrows...because like you said Redeemed...once in a while we need to let the steam off...regroup/recoup and get up and go again. AND I KNOW THIS THREAD IS A GOOD PLACE TO LAY IT ON THE LINE..if for no other reason than to have a place to rant where other PW's probably have or will go through the same experience. And writing is good therapy...sometimes just writing and reading our thoughts is enough "blown steam" to get us through the moment...you might write it, read it and feel better ...then others can share their experience (you'll know you're not the only one with that situation)...you can get spiritual advice here and suggestions for spiritual reading directed at your need for the moment. If you can attend a women's Bible study group or Christian Women's fellowship , that is an uplifting exercise. I belong to a Christian Women's Fellowship that meets once a month...we have an inspirational program and pot luck meal afterwards. We do mission activities when we see a need...it is all denominations, all ages! It's just women in the community who want a Christian atmosphere, fellowship, and avenue to do some mission work to the whole community or individuals in need. Please come back to us . I am sorry this got so long...that's me all too often I'm afraid !

 

[redeemedNG]

Kelly & Ms. Garnet,
Thank you for your replys. Kelly your definetly right I need someone to vent to. My problem is that my closest friends are struggling christians and I don't want to make them stumble. I'm afraid if I vent to them that it will put them off church permanently. The one other preacher's wife I was in contact with recently went to be with the Lord and I don't know who else to talk to.

I'm hoping this site might be a helpful outlet. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to anyone in this town because of the way rumors spread but some days I think if I don't do something I'm gonna blow!

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Hi Redeemed ! I am glad to see your are back. If you are not comfortable posting specific things, maybe you and Kelly could PM each other. Or PM one of the posters here. I hope you find a friend who can be a kind listener & offer you some spiritual insight and encouragement.

 

[redeemedNG]

I'm going to risk sounding sill and ask, "What is a PM."? Sorry for the most part I'm not computer literate.

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Hi Redeemed ! You're not alone...I'm not real computer smart either !!!!!!!!!! PM stands for Private Message....someone will have to help us both here.....but the one way I know you can send someone a private message is to put your cursor/arrow pointer over their CF character...the picture of the person on their post...like on mine put it on the lady in the dress holding the flower...click on the CF character & you will be able to view their page....scroll down on the left of that page & you should see somewhere there Private Message....click on that and a blank message page will open up ...you can send that person a private message & when they get back on Christian Forums and login they will be alerted...also an alert will be sent to their regular email address...you can email one another without the whole universe seeing what you say !!!!! Have a great day!

 

[Maeyken]

oops!

 

[Maeyken]

Another way to get to the PM window is to click on the person's name at the top left of their post. A list of things comes up. Just slide your mouse down the list to "send a private message to ___" and that will take you to the pm window also. (a little simpler- less steps)

 

[redeemedNG]

Thanks that helps!

 

[plmarquette]

Here are a few links to check out ... maybe some thing there to bring you joy , reaffirm a purpose, be some thing that is yours ...
http://www.biblegateway.com/ Online Bible Concordance

http://www.puzzles.ca/wordsearch.html Word Puzzles

http://www.higherpraise.com/ Praise and Worship Lyrics and Music

http://www.ibsdirect.com/default.aspx? International Bible Society , bulk , case , or Pallet prices for Bibles , Many different styles , versions , languages

https://www.visionvideo.com/ Christian Movies

http://www.christiancartoons.com Christian Cartoons

http://www.bibleverseart.com Bible e-mail cards

Ministry Links
A. Evangelists
http://www.algministries.org/ Al Gluchoski Ministries P.O. Box 821818
Ft. Worth, Texas 76182 (817) 431-6146-office (817) 431-3503-fax

http://www.gmrinc.org Dr. Leon Van Rooyen Global Ministries and Relief, Inc. - PO Box 47599 - Tampa, FL 33647 Phone: (813) 615-2600 - Fax: (813) 600-3850

• Jail Ministry

http://aibi.gospelcom.net/harvest/Prison/JailAndPrison.htm Jail Ministry Handbook
http://www.livingcrossnm.com/ Chaplain Fred , Living Cross Prison Ministries ; P.O. Box 1313 , Peralta, New Mexico 87042-1313

http://www.prisonvictory.com/ Dove & Roland Osborne Loving-Hearts / Prison Victory ; P.O. Box 928, Bristow, OK 74010

Moody Bible Radio Ministry
http://www.mbn.org/GenMoody/default.asp?SectionID=2CCF15FF0A7A42DF83BFDA2675FE5BC1

http://www.alc-auburn.org/ Pastors Richard and Connie Egts , Abundant Life Church , 303 S. Clover Lane , Auburn , IL. 62615

 

[JenRJen]

Woah! I am so glad someone started this thread b/c I am having the SAME struggles. This is the hardest thing I've had to do and it's really taking a toll on our marriage. If anyone wants to PM to complain, I'm always there.

 

[angels1203]

i understand all so well. will be praying for you.

 

[PastorAminata]

Dear Redeemed,


You said:
burnt out


Hi, ladies. I found this site while searching for some support on-line for "Preacher's Wives". I'm really struggling right now with this role. My husband and I have been married for almost nine years and he has been pastoring for 8 years. I'm feeling really burned out. I'm espically haveing a hard time right now dealing with all the criticism that I get from others and always feeling like I'm on display to be judged by everyone. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes on how to cope.


First, I want to say that I understand, emphatize with you, being a Pastor myself and a Pastor's wife. I could tell you some stories.... however let me say this to you,

I'm not sure where the burnt outness is coming from......
but if you are carrying, no, wearing criticism, you shouldn't be.... not to say that it won't happen because it will, but you're only concern should what God thinks about you.

You are only responsible for what you say and do, you are not responsible for other people's response to you, that's their responsibility.

If your self-esteem is being impacted by the criticism, then that means that you need to be embracing Christ even more... and also your feeling of being on display is not paranoia, IT IS THE TRUTH, it's call an occupational hazzard. You don't get mad, angry or resentful... no, you get to go shopping!

Yes it is so necessary that you share with "your" peers, meaning other Pastor's wives. Venting is a good thing, ranting is a good thing, but prayer is the best thing. And to quote one of my favorite songs, "nobody told me, the road would be easy, but I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me."

Christ brought you to it.... (your marriage) and Christ will see you through it.

I am always available, it is what I do.... Talk for a living.

I pray God for your strength,

Pastor Aminata